Sean (@tunafi.sh) reposted
what I say whenever there are worries
she/her Author. Not the one from Rent. https://linktr.ee/maureenjohnson
18,122 followers 698 following 1,606 posts
view profile on Bluesky Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
I have no idea why I was tagged in this, but...I too am against genocide so I'm okay with it.
Frog and Toad Bot (@frogandtoadbot.bsky.social) reposted
“The people in this book are brave,” said Toad. “They fight dragons and giants, and they are never afraid.” “I wonder if we are brave,” said Frog.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
100% no pants dan
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
I think even AI could have done this better.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
"We're going to need a story about this accident. Say he was helping a woman. That should work. Also, is he wearing pants? Make sure he's wearing pants."
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
FUCK YEAH
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
ME: I'm going to party so hard when I get this book in. It's going to be legendary. THOUGHT BUBBLE ABOVE HEAD: *sees self steam cleaning the windowsills*
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Rewatching a favorite movie. Just in the mood for some reason.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
:(
slop enjoyer (@slop.guru) reposted
nobody has seen the president in three days [burping and rubbing my president shaped tummy] that’s crazy
Christopher Moore (@theauthorguy.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
I went to an industry party at BEA once and wore Ray Bradbury's name badge the whole time. I was in my mid 40s at the time, and people would look at my badge, then at me, then at my badge, and I go, "I finally got that time travel thing dicked."
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
I like small foods.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
And I said, "I just hid in the bathroom but I wanted a mini ice cream cone" and he totally got it.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
James I hid in the bathroom and only came out because I heard they were passing around mini ice cream cones.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
This is my favorite of my "events I had to go to" stories. It truly was great. He and I sat there making fun of the party. He was so nice.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
The first big industry event I went to, someone squatted down, looked at my name tag, and straight up walked away because I wasn't important enough. I hid in the corner and muttered to some guy there about how much I hated it and he hated it and we had an amazing time. That guy was Terry Pratchett.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
It was just a fun scavenger hunt I went on for that old article. I will not post it because I have SOME taste and lol it's fun to look. Good times. Good times.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
I hated that party so much that I have avoided them since. lol that book sold about 3 copies and no one ever brought it up again, something I could have told you that night as I sat there listening to the guy compare himself to all of Greek literature. Anyway, I just found an article about it.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
5. Also everyone left that party knowing about his breathtakingly large advance. Everyone. It was The Number to Know.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
4. The worst part that the party was FILLED TO THE RAFTERS with media types and bankers and everyone was more or less saying BEHOLD WE FOUND A MAN WHO WROTE A BOOK CAN YOU BELIEVE OUR LUCK A MAN A MAN IS HERE LOOK and he flashed his pink socks and kept talking about how real writers pool drunk.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
2. He kept talking about Greek literature and his book and this stupid pool and drinking so much that I deserve an ACTUAL MEDAL FOR VALOR for not setting him on fire. 3. Kept telling me I looked like Selma Blair until I told him to shut up.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
1. The guy spent most of the night explaining that he got this huge advance so he was a real writer now and what real writers do it drink every day in the pool of the house they rented with the money. Even though this guy was clearly dripping with money and probably always had dripped it.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
I was telling my editor about the worst lit party I ever went to (to be fair, I am not much for that kind of thing). It was for this ex-banker guy who was being CELEBRATED TO THE SKY for writing a book that no one seemed to have read. The party stands out in my mind for many reasons...
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
It's nice that we're all having a good time together.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
I’ll come darth
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
I am putting some fries on standby at all times darth
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Can't take time off this weekend, so I stood under the mister near the lettuce at the green market stall for about five minutes. It was pretty good.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
whoa
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Are you in the United States? Did you or are you about to pre-order THE CREEPING HAND MURDER from any bookstore? Do you want a FREE MURDERY GIFT? The first two hundred people who do so and click here to sign up GET ONE! sites.prh.com/yatd-gwp
K. W. Knight (@kwknight.bsky.social) reposted
"What do you mean, progress? ... I think we sort of assumed that it means progress towards something better, higher, nobler, more generous, more free. I don't know. But you can progress towards evil." -- Ursula K. LeGuin October 13, 2015
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
My god. If you're a cis person (as I am) willing to go to the mat for trans friends, we have to say it now and actually do it. Because this wave is high and dangerous. I've been terrified about this since I saw the TERF wave coming this way. This is real danger.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
I'll be revealing the new Stevie Bell mystery title and cover on IG on 9/5, IF SUCH THINGS INTEREST YOU.
Dr Cinnamon Remote (@cinnamonremote.bsky.social) reposted
Apparently the UK government are doing an emergency alert test on the 7th of September so just in case anyone knows any current domestic abuse victims who would need to have their safety phones switched off so as not to be outed, please pass it in.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
If you're going to play the game "I can eat that, it's probably a pistachio" you're going to lose sometimes, is something I just learned.
Sean (@tunafi.sh) reposted
Dreamt @maureenjohnsonbooks.com wrote a book of advice, examining the mistakes of the Greek gods as examples where better choices could have been made. This became a runaway success among teenagers c. 480–323 BC. “I have piles of cash now and everyone says I’m goodlooking,” Maureen said, truthfully.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Amazing cause, amazing editor! BID!!! This is WORTH IT.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
wow I'm boring
Says Who Podcast (@sayswhopodcast.com) reposted
Hey hey @maureenjohnsonbooks.com and @dansinker.com are back, just in time for martial law in their respective cities. What a time to be alive. sayswhopodcast.com/episodes/uta...
Prisonculture (@prisonculture.bsky.social) reposted
If you live in NYC and you want to organize around public libraries, join NYC PLAN: nycplan.org - our next meeting is 9/21 at 2 pm in Brooklyn. If interested, email info@nycplan.org.
Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) reposted
note how Trump on a daily basis is trying to normalize the idea that he's a dictator
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Did someone lose a bet? Is this firm holding someone's child hostage? Is everyone drunk? WHY ARE THEY SO TERRIBLE AT THIS. www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...
Children's Bookshelf (@pwkidsbookshelf.bsky.social) reposted
PRH Presses Forward in Case Against Idaho Book Banning Law
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Dear editors: I will write this book RIGHT NOW get in touch at once.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
*pulls up chair*
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
Bet you think you are pretty cool over there Chicago but we got... *touches earpiece* we got... *hisses over shoulder*...we're... LIVE FROM NEW YORK
HerRoyalThighness (@ourflagmeansbeth.bsky.social) reposted
Don’t be afraid to share your writing. There are six Sharknado movies.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Because of the number of people noting this, I looked on the Walgreens site. No COVID vaccine. You can't get it right now. This is genuinely insane.
Sean (@tunafi.sh) reposted
Once the violence begins, there’s no telling where it will go. These federal forces and ICE’s budget should scare the living shit out of people. The Pod Bros and progressives keep saying it’s for show or a distraction. I think that kind of wishful thinking is a distraction. America has a death cult.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
I got love for you, friend.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
*considers*
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
The watermelon bill for me and my clone would be extraordinary.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Again, the time to prepare is now.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
you've never seen me eat watermelon
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
in this economy?
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
I turn off the internet for two hours to get more work done and we go officially dictatorship, huh.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
Oh no.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
HELL YEAH
Paul F. Tompkins (@pftompkins.bsky.social) reposted
I am one of “items” in the Mamdani scavenger hunt (I am wearing a “Free Bus” costume) and I am running out of air I think? It is dark and cramped in my hiding place (hint: it has a lid [that I think was unintentionally locked]). Someone please find me soon
Sean (@tunafi.sh) reposted reply parent
Cuomo has a version of this but he hunts you.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
whoa!
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
If I didn't have to work today I WOULD BE ON THIS HUNT RIGHT NOW.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
This is many things at once: creative, fun, engaging with the city itself, funny, and community-based. It doesn't cost anything much. SO GOOD.
Sean (@tunafi.sh) reposted
But your honor, it was both necessary and funny.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
proud of you man
Authors Against Book Bans (@authorsabb.bsky.social) reposted
Banned Books Week is October 5-11. With some organization this could be a watershed year for activism. Here are some ideas for events you can hold in your district, at your library, at the bookstore. Get started now to make the week powerful docs.google.com/document/d/e...
Sean (@tunafi.sh) reposted
@maureenjohnsonbooks.com is coming to town. Throw away your parent’s TV set top box. Eat the pens and stationary in the supplies cabinet. The only law we’ll abide going forward is the 48 Laws of Gravy.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
it's me
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
🇬🇾🗽Sydette The Dreaded Gorgon🗽🇬🇾 (@blackamazon.bsky.social) reposted
Ding ding
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
The idea of a spoon that explodes as soon as it touches water was really funny to me, so I asked a chemist friend what it should be made of, and he said Cesium-127, which does just that. I always have a mental note of what I call the "Cesium Spoon" and now I am adding "Cesium Shrimp."
Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox.bsky.social) reposted
This is so fucked up I cannot even explain the depths to which it is fucked. I know this metaphor for LLMs is not quite right but this is like rewarding an autocorrect for fixing typos, rewarding your GPS; rewarding Siri. There is no there there to receive the “treat.” It has no wants or needs.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
I'll send it by banjo, Robyn, wait on the roof.
Children's Bookshelf (@pwkidsbookshelf.bsky.social) reposted
How a group of Michigan parents fought back against right-wing activists in their school district | The New Republic
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
And I made an eggplant Parmesan if you want to come over.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
I'm finishing up the new Stevie Bell book AND tonight I start signing tip-in pages for the first run. And I'm getting read for the book that's coming out in a month. I'm very excited and also I need one more of me.
Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew.bsky.social) reposted
one guy even tried to give us a sandwich
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
Oh my god.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
This amazing writeup for The Creeping Hand Murder in @washingtonpost.com (along with four other books I either have or am about to get) is GIVING ME LIFE today: www.washingtonpost.com/books/2025/0...
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
AND I HAD A VERY GOOD TIME! Listen now!
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
This is my dream.
Authors Against Book Bans (@authorsabb.bsky.social) reposted
Good Morning! Do the Little Free Libraries in your area have banned books in them? Your assignment this week is to find out & if not make sure they do! (As always bonus points if the books are by living authors from communities being targeted by book banners!)
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
what are you up to
Megan Piontkowski illustration (@meganpiont.bsky.social) reposted
“How to Report ICE” zines now available for these areas: NYC Philly Durham, NC All of Massachusetts I will add more as I get them done. Download them to print here: drive.google.com/drive/folder...
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
I feel you, Toad.
dan sinker (@dansinker.com) reposted
These aren't bright guys and things got out of hand
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
that's right
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
oh, also focusing on stopping it and what to do to be helpful when it is here, hence, getting ducks in row
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
As a huge fan this is a delight to know.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com)
It sounds like I am making a bad joke when I say I am trying to get very caught up on work before some kind of fascist invasion on the streets here in NYC in the coming weeks and months, but I am completely serious. Failure to plan is a plan for failure, etc.
Maris Kreizman (@maris.bsky.social) reposted
“Only one community member stood up to support the proposed policy, thanking those who voted in favor of it previously.” A good reminder that mosy Americans do not want book bans. www.tennessean.com/story/news/2...
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
Not Cassie related, though I just spent two weeks with her in the English countryside escaping from the hellscape we live in.
Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnsonbooks.com) reply parent
Also, in my head @gregjenner.bsky.social looks like Mathew Baynton, because I have only heard his voice and I have assigned it to the Bayntonface, which is no bad face to be assigned to.