"We're going to need a story about this accident. Say he was helping a woman. That should work. Also, is he wearing pants? Make sure he's wearing pants."
Replies
Of all the ways to learn that Rudy actually had a spine.
aug 31, 2025, 8:48 pm • 66 3 • view
Lol
aug 31, 2025, 10:45 pm • 1 0 • view
Its the Fonz
aug 31, 2025, 9:49 pm • 1 0 • view
🤣😁
sep 1, 2025, 12:57 am • 0 0 • view
Was he drunk?
sep 1, 2025, 12:39 am • 0 0 • view
I heard that he and Dershowitz were huffing pierogies.
aug 31, 2025, 9:49 pm • 2 0 • view
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
aug 31, 2025, 10:05 pm • 0 0 • view
Okay, are we all on the same page . . ?
sep 1, 2025, 4:16 am • 0 0 • view
He was trying to put pants on when he was rear-ended.
aug 31, 2025, 8:50 pm • 9 0 • view
🤣😂
aug 31, 2025, 11:50 pm • 1 0 • view
Time to call Bob Lablaw.
aug 31, 2025, 9:44 pm • 8 1 • view
sep 1, 2025, 12:53 am • 8 1 • view
No, he was not wearing pants. They had burned off only five minutes before, when he ran into a burning building to save a puppy. Have you people no heart for our hero, Rudy?
sep 1, 2025, 2:11 am • 1 0 • view
🤣🤣🤣
aug 31, 2025, 9:03 pm • 0 0 • view
He donated his pants! To a distressed woman! She even yelled what sounded like 'Super!' back at him before returning back to her phone call in Russian.
aug 31, 2025, 9:13 pm • 9 0 • view
And I know exactly who you are talking about.
sep 1, 2025, 12:04 am • 2 0 • view
My friends, Giuliani was having an affair. And after a few humps n’ whiskeys, Rudy-ghoul got surprised by the trucker husband. So as Rudy was freaking out and fleeing like a twerp, the husband caught up to Rudy and rammed his car in a rage. Because that’s how it happens in real life.
sep 1, 2025, 7:46 am • 1 1 • view
🤣
aug 31, 2025, 9:11 pm • 0 0 • view
Hahaha
sep 1, 2025, 4:28 am • 0 0 • view
Let us know 🥴
aug 31, 2025, 8:31 pm • 2 0 • view
bsky.app/profile/abdo...
aug 31, 2025, 10:49 pm • 5 3 • view
bsky.app/profile/abdo...
aug 31, 2025, 10:48 pm • 1 0 • view
bsky.app/profile/abdo...
aug 31, 2025, 10:48 pm • 0 0 • view
We need money….so did the drunk hit someone with money…..Good Good. We’ll sue. We need 146 million….say 150.
aug 31, 2025, 9:29 pm • 1 0 • view
Perfect.
sep 1, 2025, 1:26 am • 0 0 • view
Why did they mention the woman at all? they could have just said he was in an accident and I'd be like "yeah"
aug 31, 2025, 9:20 pm • 14 1 • view
She's going to show up in the police report as "Scantily clad woman. Name unknown to Mr Giuliani. "
aug 31, 2025, 9:33 pm • 19 0 • view
"Local, self-employed scantily clad woman putting herself through college."
aug 31, 2025, 9:57 pm • 14 0 • view
We're all impressed with her self-reliance, people skills, and entrepreneurial enterprise.
aug 31, 2025, 11:16 pm • 4 0 • view
Men’s pants preferably.
aug 31, 2025, 8:48 pm • 17 1 • view
aug 31, 2025, 11:05 pm • 3 0 • view
The claim is it was 'after helping someone' anyway. Jut assume bullshit front-to=back, whatever.
sep 1, 2025, 8:37 am • 1 0 • view
Get me Bob Loblaw, stat!
aug 31, 2025, 9:57 pm • 1 0 • view
Barry Zuckercorn, Esq.
sep 1, 2025, 12:58 am • 2 0 • view
He may have committed some light treason
aug 31, 2025, 10:10 pm • 0 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 10:09 pm • 2 0 • view
None of it happened. Giuliani is cosplaying the Pedofuhrer while the cabinet figures out what to do with the fact that Pedonald is in a home for advanced dementia patients.
aug 31, 2025, 10:39 pm • 2 0 • view
LOL!!
aug 31, 2025, 9:59 pm • 1 0 • view
This brings truer than the original story.
aug 31, 2025, 9:36 pm • 1 0 • view
Rings truer. We need an edit button.
aug 31, 2025, 9:43 pm • 2 0 • view
The only reason Rudy called the authorities was so he could verbalize "9-11" once more, as he dialed. After doing so, as with the rest of his life, it was just another disaster. Thankfully, his family... oops, business partner... was there by his side.
aug 31, 2025, 9:54 pm • 12 1 • view
I'm sure she was fleeing her homicidal illegal immigrant boyfriend who voted Democrat illegally and is getting food stamps and Medicare, Medicaid and free college.
sep 1, 2025, 12:11 pm • 1 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 11:16 pm • 3 0 • view
Barry was too short but it told its story well.
sep 1, 2025, 12:36 am • 0 0 • view
😂
sep 1, 2025, 2:38 am • 0 0 • view
And make sure the pants are *on his legs*
sep 1, 2025, 4:18 am • 0 0 • view
they really should have made a Better Call Bob spinoff
aug 31, 2025, 11:08 pm • 2 0 • view
High speed crash into Rudy. Not a single mention of the other driver. How very Rudy.
sep 1, 2025, 12:00 am • 1 0 • view
So what direction was giuliani intending to travel? North, and U-turned to assist and call a fire truck for domestic violence? Or South, pulled over without a U-turn, and still 911íng the fire dept. But if headed south, then a U-turn was to head in the opposite direction? Bronco's and highways!
sep 1, 2025, 2:03 am • 0 0 • view
My thoughts as well
sep 1, 2025, 2:07 am • 0 0 • view
I said the same thing. This story has professional fixer written all over it. 🤣
aug 31, 2025, 11:32 pm • 9 2 • view
Professional? I think Rudy's hiring the Four Seasons landscaping guys as fixers here.
sep 1, 2025, 12:56 am • 11 0 • view
Doesn't this read startlingly like Big Balls' excuse for his own beat-down a few weeks ago? 'I was helping a woman...'
sep 1, 2025, 3:42 am • 3 0 • view
Decent chance they based this story on McDreamy's exit from Grey's Anatomy (He saves a bunch of lives and then gets hit by a truck)
aug 31, 2025, 10:47 pm • 3 0 • view
Dear Penthouse Forum: You’ll never believe this, but…
aug 31, 2025, 9:06 pm • 48 1 • view
😂🤣😂😁👏👏👏👏
aug 31, 2025, 9:42 pm • 0 0 • view
😸🤣🤣👍
aug 31, 2025, 9:45 pm • 0 0 • view
Slap my tush if you agree
aug 31, 2025, 10:48 pm • 0 0 • view
Is the sex worker ok? The car?
aug 31, 2025, 9:47 pm • 4 0 • view
Police released a statement. He had nothing to do with the domestic violence victim.
aug 31, 2025, 10:18 pm • 8 2 • view
A quick google search or I93 in Manchester shows that it’s 3-4 lanes in both the northbound and southbound directions, separated by a median. So, Rudy was flagged down across several lanes of an interstate highway on Labor Day weekend?
aug 31, 2025, 10:51 pm • 7 1 • view
Nope, police were already at the dv scene. Plus there’s grass across the median there I believe. It’s gets more grassy and lots of trees as you keep driving up 93, but I’m pretty sure it’s grass there. I don’t understand the point of them lying. It’s foolish.
aug 31, 2025, 10:54 pm • 9 1 • view
DO NOT ASSOCIATE THE FONZ WITH THAT ASSHOLE PLEASE
aug 31, 2025, 9:36 pm • 1 0 • view
Bob Loblaw would have been a more accurate choice.
aug 31, 2025, 9:44 pm • 2 0 • view
So we have to create elaborate conspiracy theories about TWO of the worst people? Best weekend ever.
sep 1, 2025, 3:29 am • 2 0 • view
"He's very good"
sep 1, 2025, 1:48 am • 1 0 • view
I literally do not have to scroll any further down to know that this is about Rudy Guliani.
aug 31, 2025, 9:12 pm • 34 0 • view
😆
sep 1, 2025, 1:26 pm • 0 0 • view
Dan’s poor throat
aug 31, 2025, 8:38 pm • 5 0 • view
LOL!
aug 31, 2025, 8:49 pm • 1 0 • view
😂
sep 1, 2025, 11:28 am • 0 0 • view
Maureen it's entirely normal to get struck from behind on the highway after selflessly helping a woman it happens all the time don't make fun
aug 31, 2025, 8:37 pm • 135 3 • view
100% no pants dan
aug 31, 2025, 8:43 pm • 84 2 • view
They’re already selling his pants, Maureen.
aug 31, 2025, 8:57 pm • 1 0 • view
Let's just take the first part of the story on its face Maureen. Imagine flagging someone down and the window unrolls and it's Rudy leering back.
aug 31, 2025, 8:46 pm • 106 6 • view
So we’re admitting there’s little chance the woman didn’t fling him into oncoming traffic? Because it would be knee jerk for me, tbh
sep 1, 2025, 1:10 am • 1 0 • view
Survives the Titanic only to be rescued by the Lucitania
aug 31, 2025, 11:36 pm • 5 1 • view
I would hurl myself into a ditch immediately. Better if it's snake-infested.
sep 1, 2025, 12:40 am • 0 0 • view
This part alone is the first act of a horror movie.
aug 31, 2025, 8:48 pm • 73 3 • view
sep 1, 2025, 1:27 pm • 2 0 • view
I smell a Rudy skit!!!! Get that voice ready Dan! 😂
aug 31, 2025, 8:58 pm • 2 0 • view
Atty Barry Zuckerkorn? He’s very good @bluthquotes.lucille2.com
sep 1, 2025, 12:43 am • 1 0 • view
Damn all these witnesses who know the statement that Giuliani put out as a complete lie!
aug 31, 2025, 10:44 pm • 7 3 • view
Arrested Development callback of all time
sep 1, 2025, 12:55 am • 1 0 • view
Is Rudy up for a court date soon?
aug 31, 2025, 11:26 pm • 0 0 • view
Bet he was rushed to Four Seasons Pet Hospital.
aug 31, 2025, 10:35 pm • 6 0 • view
One of the greatest characters and performances in history. Genius
aug 31, 2025, 11:37 pm • 2 0 • view
On another moribund day of news, you actually made me laugh. That deserves a follow.
aug 31, 2025, 9:09 pm • 3 0 • view
Helping a woman until her bf showed up
aug 31, 2025, 11:38 pm • 2 0 • view
"Don't put in the newspaper that he wasn't wearing pants."
aug 31, 2025, 11:16 pm • 2 0 • view
😂😂😂😂
sep 1, 2025, 1:07 am • 0 0 • view
Wait, wait. This isn't about Big Balls?
aug 31, 2025, 11:37 pm • 1 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 9:45 pm • 1 0 • view
And leave out any mention of a landscaping company.
aug 31, 2025, 10:22 pm • 1 0 • view
I love it. Yeah, that part about helping a woman didn’t make sense to me.
aug 31, 2025, 9:09 pm • 3 0 • view
Was he tucking his shirt in at the time?
sep 1, 2025, 6:05 am • 2 0 • view
Yeah, exactly my reaction too. What it sounds like to me is that Rudy got into it with someone and it turned into a road rage incident.
aug 31, 2025, 9:38 pm • 5 0 • view
They either threw that thing in about him saving a woman from an errant wife beater because what really happened makes Rudy look even worse than his normal look. Or they’re making up stories about why a guy was so mad at an ancient ghoul to run into him on the highway intentionally
aug 31, 2025, 9:39 pm • 8 0 • view
This sounds like some Chappaquiddick-level spin.
aug 31, 2025, 10:05 pm • 6 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 8:52 pm • 35 0 • view
Henry is GOATd
aug 31, 2025, 11:12 pm • 1 0 • view
That’s why his “business partner” was called first
aug 31, 2025, 9:03 pm • 6 0 • view
youtu.be/REpNTi-9oRQ Possible alternative statements have been considered.
aug 31, 2025, 9:38 pm • 6 1 • view
"Aw, that's balls"
aug 31, 2025, 10:21 pm • 0 0 • view
sep 1, 2025, 1:13 am • 0 0 • view
Might want to check his BAC too.
aug 31, 2025, 9:11 pm • 4 0 • view
"The Everett's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive."
aug 31, 2025, 10:21 pm • 2 0 • view
"Would it be too much of a stretch to say Paul Pelosi was operating the vehicle while Rudy "counselled" the poor woman in the back seat? Can we get Don Jr to weigh in?"
aug 31, 2025, 10:36 pm • 3 0 • view
😂
sep 1, 2025, 1:49 am • 0 0 • view
It will turn out he was helping Maura Murray.
sep 1, 2025, 6:53 am • 0 0 • view
"Be sure to bring up 911. Everyone love Rudy and 911."
aug 31, 2025, 9:30 pm • 27 1 • view
🏆🏆
aug 31, 2025, 10:58 pm • 0 0 • view
Hello, young lady. Would you like to get in my car? What, no! I'm just adjusting my shirt.
aug 31, 2025, 9:26 pm • 7 1 • view
Sounds like a case of rubbernecking an accident in oncoming lanes, slowing down and getting rear ended. Then the typical maga opportunism and made up story and "official" release.
sep 1, 2025, 1:49 pm • 0 0 • view
"His business partner was the first person contacted" "we can't say that" "how about his business partner AND healthcare provider" "genuis!"
aug 31, 2025, 9:16 pm • 60 1 • view
Is a better story if he was wearing pants
aug 31, 2025, 9:05 pm • 1 0 • view
“15?!!!”
aug 31, 2025, 10:01 pm • 0 0 • view
No pants were recovered at the scene of the accident
aug 31, 2025, 9:02 pm • 11 0 • view
LOL!
aug 31, 2025, 10:09 pm • 0 0 • view
I mean, it would have been MORE believable if he told people that he’d driven past a car coming in the opposite direction with its headlights off and he flashed his high beams at it trying to be helpful and the car sped past, doubled back, and attacked him.
aug 31, 2025, 8:42 pm • 30 1 • view
“Make sure to announce he was wearing pants. No, wait, that should be implied. Can we imply he was fully clothed?”
aug 31, 2025, 9:19 pm • 7 0 • view