So he could have been doing that the entire time?
He Who Shapes, I often yell at television screens when a cake is brought out but not eaten
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So he could have been doing that the entire time?
“Oh yeah he definitely had a stroke” — anyone who ever has a relative that had a stroke
It would be a safe bet that Trump’s will explicitly states that pants on his corpse be stuffed super full so it looks like he was well hung
White House releases another photo of Donald Trump. Still long range but at least he looks healthy
There's no way he would shut the hell up for a week. He'd have given our conferences where he implied he was then another denying he even did the first press conference
Trump leaving the White House this morning as proof that he's fine
I keep wondering if they did it on purpose as another example of how the so called boy genius is actually kind of stupid
This is when I’m glad that Toy Story thing about toys being alive isn’t true
Well I guess that’s that. I feel stupid for thinking he was sick
Donald Trump shitting himself to death is just a distraction from kitchen table issues
If Vance handles it correctly, he could do what his billionaire handlers want him to do like pull back on tariffs and immigration and be called Vance the Lightbringer. Wait till Schumer and Jeffries beg Vance for the privilege of being able to give him 98% of what he wants and call it bipartisanship
“Wow, did you all think I was serious when I said I was ready to step in and take over?” — JD Vance when Trump dies (this week sometime?)
Every damn time I think I’ll never have to hear the name Giuliani again…
JD Vance has no idea Trump left instructions that Vance be entombed with him like an Egyptian king
Donald Trump looks like the guy in the zombie movie who was bitten by a zombie and tries to hide it
Trump's attempts at making everyone think he's fine are going so poorly I'm pretty sure he hired the same consultants who give Democrats election advice to plan it all out
Trump looks so bad these days that Daryl Dixon would shoot a crossbow into his head if he saw him
Source for this story is Star Magazine, a supermarket tabloid famous for making things up
Oh yeah, Trump would hate anyone who actually looked like him. He’d be expecting Dwayne Johnson to do it
For when Trump goes over the rainbow 🌈 www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8BpNkeL/
I guess "live your life so that people aren't upset when they hear you're alive" is good advice
"He's dead and that guy you see is a lookalike" is all you'd be hearing if this happened when Biden was President
Really wasn’t much to do back then “What ya wanna do this weekend?” “Wanna go stare at hedgehog beads?” “Oh HELLS yeah”
If I win the billion dollar Powerball jackpot tonight, I'm using all my winnings to buy lottery tickets
It reminded me of the Trump hagiography we'll get when he does die. Things like "This President, businessman and loving grandpa bravely and calmly led the country through the covid crisis in 2020"
This incident has taught me not to scroll social media before going back to bed if I wake up at 2 AM. Sadly I've had to learn this lesson more than once. It did take me about two minutes from the way everyone was talking to figure out he wasn't dead so that was fun
RFK is such an idiot. Everyone knows mass shootings are caused by rap lyrics and violent video games
I wonder if the Trump kids will be genuinely shocked that folks like the Saudis don’t want to hand them billions anymore after their dad dies
It is so recorded
Right now Trump’s heart and brain are competing to see who has the privilege of ending his presidency
True but when a story like that comes from a known liar and the story happens to reinforce whatever that liars agenda may be, it’s perhaps time to be skeptical
The longest vaccine reaction I heard about came from a coworker known for calling in fake sick to work
Has his heart said “screw this I’m outta here” yet?
If Donald Trump has died, it’s important to remember that he could have lived longer if he wasn’t a fat, lazy piece of shit who couldn’t eat a damn salad occasionally
youtu.be/yfdAGkjHGac?...
His fans will try to shut down the insults saying “what if his family sees those?” Just saying every member of the Trump family should block me now cause I’m definitely going to be doing that
Meanwhile every TikTok video will be from a bar where somehow they’ve already printed up shirts with his face saying Rest In Piss
If he is dead every damn article about him is going to be like “he calmly led the nation through the COVID crisis”
I'm glad to see apparently the desired demographic for a movie about a magical teenage Korean girl group is me, a middle aged man who says things like "What do you mean you kids today don't know who Bobby Sherman is?"
I'm not going to say I'm finally watching KPop Demon Hunters. I'm not saying I like it. I'm just saying it's opened doors to new perceptions and expanded my being to places I didn't know existed
RFK Jr looks like he’s been sampling the diseases at the CDC
I'm very annoyed that Tron: Ares is what kept Jared Leto from having the time to make Morbius 2
To any and all apps I have, sending me several pointless notifications a day that mainly exist to part me from my money is a great way to get notifications turned off
Probably important to point out that after last night's Peacemaker, "bird blindness" is now canon in the DCU. Remember that five years from now when Darkseid can't see a bird
200 years ago everything we ate was organic and almost no one had any sort of vaccine and you'd die around age 40. Nine of your twelve kids would die before age five
That's true. Plus in 2032 Netflix will need movies to be introduced to its platform for the first time and inexplicably be their number one movie for 3 weeks beating out their latest original film from Adam Sandler or the Rock
Ok which of you bastards told Hollywood we needed another one of these?
Bad news: he was the first person inducted into the Rob Graham Hall of Fame. No idea how that happened
If you aren't super online and don't know what this is about...
Schumer could teach a class in accepting defeat
I’ve heard Robert E. Lee defenders say he (the loser) was the greatest military mind ever in the history of anything and that the North only won because they let black soldiers join. They consider that cheating, you see.
"Bird blindness" is the most James Gunn thing ever #Peacemaker
End of past self message: “…and I know I’ve already given you a lot but WATCH OUT FOR THE MURDER HORNETS!”
Me to god: I PAY YOUR SALARY [prayers]
Oddly that puts it in the same category for me as TRON
I won’t watch the new Downton Abbey movie because I think we have perfectly good abbeys right here in the USA
Have any Alien Earth fans besides me figured out what it is that makes Wendy different from even the other synths? Probably some You tube guy has thought of this too but I haven't been watching them
Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married.
A race like this doesn’t have the cash to attract the Big $ consultants who run expensive polls that make them say things like “stick to kitchen table issues” then their clients lose by seven points
In this weeks Alien Earth the boy genius quotes Isaac Asimov as saying that after a certain level technology is indistinguishable from magic and not to make too big a deal about it but FUCK NO THAT WASN’T ASIMOV WHO SAID THAT IT WAS ARTHUR C. CLARKE. Not that I care
Everyone reading this is probably happier than Elon Musk has ever been and if you had a fraction of his money most of you would live a life a leisure and not spend all day whining about how Nazis have no free speech or that we need more white babies
Another problem is the number of high profile Democrats who will denounce this as unethical because Democrats love to be stupid for moral reasons
I predict the party who had influencers receiving hundreds of thousands of dollars in Russian money will be completely butthurt over this
Travis Kelse asked Taylor Swift to marry him after 2 and a half years so of it took your husband longer than that it means he doesn’t love you. I don’t make up these rules
Don't remind me. Amazon Prime showed a movie where the world was saved by an Amazon delivery driver. Had the delivery not been made on the same day, we'd all be dead. It did make me miss our old home game
I was skipping it because it looked like something that would appeal only to kids. For me that's what One Piece turned out to be. Maybe I'll check it out, maybe I won't
Also, I haven’t seen this. Should I watch it? For example, I didn’t like One Piece though I did like the live action Avatar series. Which is it more like?
This is the kind of story where you later find out the creator only made $8000 for the entire run
If throwing sandwiches is criminalized, only criminals will throw sandwiches
To sum up, I really do think he’s dying and the only reason he has a shot of going on past six months is that he’s President and has access to the world’s best medical care. It certainly won’t be because he suddenly started taking care of himself
I would also settle for that
Sorry I haven’t been on, I’ve been busy crying and listening to Love Story over and over again cause I’m so happy for Taylor
It is worse. They pay shor to tell them what they want to hear
One of the reasons I think Trump has something far worse than the more benign diagnosis being offered is that they can’t even tell the truth about why his hands are bruised
I’m creating a rumor that you should eat eggs with the shells on and it’s big corporations that convince you to take them off just to see if RFK spreads it
If anyone wants an invite to Taylor and Travis’ wedding, let me know and I’ll score you an invite. I can only do it for maybe 75 people so don’t wait
Turns out there are seven senses
There are two. One is a famous singer and the other is an internationally wanted serial killer. One announced her engagement but I don’t know which
The dementia addled President and at least 51 Senate members thought otherwise
Democratic leaders won’t mention this because it’s not a “kitchen table issue” though I now think Trump could actually make it illegal for Democrats to have kitchen tables and they’d let that slide too
After Bruce Springsteen’s first marriage he released an album about love and marriage that started off about dreamy bliss but ended with songs about things like a Gypsy lying about him being happy and that is a pale reflection of what the Taylor Swift divorce album will be like if it happens
Travis and Taylor must be so excited that they get to have sex for the first time on their wedding night
Taylor Swift is getting married? To who?
Too many Democrats think it’s their job to set a good example for Republicans
We’ll see how this shakes out. One of the reasons there is a Republican House majority is that blue states like New York get these judicial orders to not gerrymander and abide by them while red states get them and say LOL while wiping their asses with them
He could get this under control in a few weeks by losing weight, moderately exercising and cutting back on salt and since he’s not going to do any of that he’ll get worse and risk being dead by the end of the year. I will say that I truly do not wish death on Trump and also I’ll say that is a lie
This is probably from regular infusions of IV diuretics like Lasix he’s getting to remove excess water that’s causing things like swollen ankles. This is necessary because he’s an old, fat, lazy piece of shit whose heart is giving out on him because treats it the way a cat treats a litter box
Looking forward to the usual Republican Senators saying sure I had problems with the guy but Lindsey Graham said he was fine and that was good enough for me
You'd think a guy whose life depends on science as much as Trump does would stop doing things like cut research grants but nope
I respect the fact that Trump's heart is doing it's very best to kill him but that so far medical science has been able to outsmart it
I just realized when Trump does die that liberals will start going on and on about how he was so much better than whoever replaces him
i'm the guy who invented the spike traps that pop out of temple walls. i hate my job. every day my boss says "why haven't we killed any archeologists" and i say "they haven't invented that yet." they pay me in tomb juice. i hate tomb juice. honestly i might just start working on my big boulder idea
Taste is subjective and some people think some classic films are the worst thing ever. That being said, if you’re one of these people who hates the new Peacemaker opening credits, you are wrong
I saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show do many times in my youth that I was able to still recite the lines along with the actors when watching it last year on Hulu. Never became a drag queen though it did make me want to feel up Susan Sarandon
There were psychic predictions that Trump would die today and I’m letting the universe know I’m ready to toss a lifetime of skepticism if his ankles suddenly explode or something
Obama advocated for gay marriage and Biden loudly supported trans rights and each won decisively. Harris tried to stay away from those issues and lost by a narrow margin
His heart is going downhill because he’s an old fat lazy piece of shit with a horrible diet. This is finally a form of accountability. No way around it. If there was a corrupt doctor he could appoint who said he wasn’t sick and suddenly he wasn’t, he’d do that
Believe it or not they find it very romantic to make love while watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail