Give him some garlic. You know, just to make suuuure
Me: Liberal. Likes: Democracy, Dallas Cowboys, Boston Celtics, Boston Bruins, San Jose Sharks, Beatles, Bangles, R.E.M., Natalie Merchant The Beatles came to America in February 1964. I was born 9 months later. Obviously, Paul McCartney is my real dad
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Give him some garlic. You know, just to make suuuure
P.S. It was me, I had butt dialed myself while driving. But, also the CIA is well known for their car karaoke blackmailing….
Drove to work early one morning back in the 90s and when I arrived, noticed I had a voicemail on my cellphone. Checked it and it was a recording of me singing along with the radio on my way to work. “Is someone secretly recording me so they can blackmail me?!? Is this the CIA?!?”
They say your first thought is usually your best thought….
break into cars to smear blood all over the steering wheel. A completely rational conclusion. P.S. It was me, unbeknownst to me, my hand was bleeding. But, keep an eye out for those street toughs…
After working in the backyard, I needed to run to the store. Hopped in the car and got about 2 miles down the road when I looked at the steering wheel, which was covered in blood. “Who put blood all over my steering wheel?!?” Because that was a thing, apparently, a gang of street toughs would…
They say your first thought is usually your best thought….
Suddenly, there was a loud noise in the backyard and my brain immediately jumped into action, “It’s the Zodiac, he knows I’m reading this book!” Yep, the guy who hadn’t been heard from in 20 years, obviously with ESP was right on my tail. P.S. it was the wind
Back in the 90’s, my co-workers and I all became fixated on true crime books. I began reading “Zodiac” by Robert Graysmith. Late one night after work (so, 12:30am-ish) as I was house sitting for my Dad, I was reading the book in his backroom. Everything turned off except the one reading light.
They say your first thought is usually your best thought….
I mean, assuming of course, that Ted Cruz *can* cast a reflection
Could this not also be used for every episode of Gordon Ramsay’s show where the restaurants began substituting cheaper frozen foods for fresh?
White flight, you say?Hmmmm…seems vaguely familiar….
If you were Ted Cruz, would you?
Joe Gilliam, James Harris
I’m just happy that CJ Stroud and Lamar Jackson can just be quarterbacks now, as opposed to a few years ago when Doug Williams was always, “The black quarterback”
I always seem to surround myself with people who do not care if they are late to anything, and they absolutely do not understand that this anxiety is real
I know the answers!!!
I appreciate your optimistic view that he is capable of feeling shame, but honestly, you’d have better luck assuming human characteristics from a toaster
And he’ll lie and say he doesn’t recall and he’ll have to get back to them with that information and…nothing will happen. Oh, other than people dying. Needlessly. Because of this narcissistic buffoon.
Oscar Meyer-
Baby steps
Only terrorists buy tomatoes, everybody knows that
I spelled my own name wrong, first day of 4th grade, and that was only three months off. I imagine after a year, I, basically, would’ve been Tarzan
It was like the Bowling Green Massacre, only more Massacrey
I just came here for my weekly bleeding
But, it is what you might say if you wanted to sit at an airport and scope out all the minors
The more things change…
I’m listening to all of Taylor Swift’s catalog under water gurgles. I’ll report anything I find other than, “glub, glub, glub”
Here Today by Sir Paul
He wouldn’t even be one of the foremost experts in my car rn. The only pertinent question, though, would be, “What the hell are you doing in my car, fool??”
Retire, Jerry. Please, for the love of God, retire
I mean, the odds are you already divorced him.
I have been a Dallas Cowboys fan for 54 years and I have never hated being a Dallas Cowboys fan as much as I do today. @dallas--cowboys.bsky.social
The one I somewhat remember is if you play a certain song under “water gurgles”, it confirms Paul’s death. Yeah, I’m pretty sure you could confirm Bigfoot as the gunman on the grassy knoll under water gurgles…
Well, FOX “News” is selling this guy as trans, so there’s that…
I’m a little upset now that it took Travis Kelce this long to propose. If nothing else, the world needed to see the reaction videos from Swifties. The wholesomeness is inspiring #TaylorsWedding
Heyyy whoa, Gavin, let’s stop and think a minute about the gun manufacturers, please. Won’t anyone ever think of the corporations??
This is a scientific breakthrough. Apparently, there is enough oxygen in a man’s anus to sustain the life of another. We may only need one helmet for all future space endeavors. That’s $ saving for reals, DOGE
No, that’s next week’s message. The message today is, “Shame on you for politicizing this” or “It’s too soon to have that discussion”
Nope, not in America. This country values guns and corporate greed more than children’s safety
Mayor Adams had no prior knowledge of this matter….”and his sole focus remains on serving the people of New York City with integrity.” Oh yeah, when does he plan to start?
Shove it in your pie hole, Crypt Keeper
I don’t hate it when that happens (happened?)
Meritocracy!!
I believe she must reside in the crypt until the next election cycle
Well, I’m sure he does have family….
That can’t be healthy
Same
Seen today
But, at this point- do we trust a list the DOJ would release?
I don’t know what he did or said, but yes, in general, this is an evergreen statement
The terrorists have won
Yeah, but, could we really live with ourselves if Betsy DeVos couldn’t buy another yacht? I know I would have trouble sleeping
I had the exact same issue a few months ago. I did eventually speak to someone- but it took awhile- and they seemed wholly confused about what I was calling about.
Epstein, Juan Epstein
What’s really a good idea is to make the person mad who has dirt on you. Grade A idea.
I mean, if it’s a hoax, why is Ghislaine Maxwell in prison? Felonious Hoaxing?
And where exactly is the “young adult” in this conversation? Cuz Kristy didn’t qualify….
He’s so proud he won’t show his face. Because it’s so full of pride
As they say, necessity is the mother of invention
I do, however, think we should start referring to Joe as ‘The Biden’
There really is a Fortress of Solitude
I make no promises
Just a boy, standing in front of the @nba asking them to start selling their summer league jerseys
Well, I feel safer knowing Hannibal Lecter is in charge
Pretty sure this was the plot of Master and Commander
This guy is fantastic
Looking forward to Trump appointing a moon landing denier as Director of NASA
May I guess the Big Three as Chaplin, Keaton and Lloyd with Arbuckle missing the cut?
…goes the weasel
Oh, I have conclusions alright. I may have even surmised a thing or two
In my seat, ready to watch Superman 3D because Dean Cain said it was too woke
Sure, sure. You can hope for a better future, or learn from the past and plan for a better future. But, crossing your fingers does have a certain Je ne sais quoi
I think winning teams determine their weaknesses and resolve them in a way that’s conducive to winning
Nice!
It’s right here where you can see his soul leave his body
Anyone have a spare tire boot?
My first car was yellowish Bug with blue and red wheel fenders. Didn’t seem to keep it from getting me from point A to point B
Georgia hit it out of the park with Ossoff and Warnock
New York, you know what to do….
I’m hope this doesn’t end in a The Fly-like transformation
I guess it’s no longer safe to shop at Walmart
Isn’t that the goal- get Nana and Papa off of Social Security and back in the work force?
Ted Bundy: “Why don’t you people focus on all of the people I didn’t kill?”
Regular crowd shuffles in
Man, why do you hate alligators so much?
Not in American courts, either- The Hague.
What are you saying?!!
If Brenda calls, don’t answer
Which, I’m sure, the Founding Fathers were all about
These people couldn’t beat Cro-Magnon in a Reasoning Contest
I’m pretty sure that’s not Buster, but that seems like an awful Buster-y thing to be doing
All while hiding behind Jesus
And it will all be Joe Biden’s fault
Financial boondoggle and operational failure is right in Trump’s wheelhouse
I thought they were the same person
