I'll take the under
Just a guy who works in an office lol
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I'll take the under
The very smart, very funny all around good guy John Fugelsang has written a book taking back Christianity from those who would abuse the Good Word.
On Labor Day, no wreaths need be laid at gravesites, no solemnity required unless one wishes to spend a few moments reflecting on, say, children mangled in threshing machines. Since I do not, I am content to do little to nothing on this day. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/enjoy-your...
"Both parties are the same," they said.
“The people in this book are brave,” said Toad. “They fight dragons and giants, and they are never afraid.” “I wonder if we are brave,” said Frog.
Are you from Canada? I couldn't hear you above the moose calls.
lol lol lol
MOVE 'EM OUT!
lol post some of the best ones!!! lol lol lol
This is (ugh) CNN
Holy shit, the conspiracy theories would be THROUGH THE ROOF. And I would be spreading most of them.
I was in the inner circle of these “UFO celebrities” and Michael’s analysis is dead on. Trump is about to take a stake in Lockheed Martin, one of the UFO community’s mortal enemies. JD Vance announced he was going to look into UFOs during his 1000th vacation this August. It’s not a coincidence.
Have I Got News For You returns next week and I'm worried we won't have anything to talk about.
Fair! I've seen enough evidence to believe in RV but I understand that it's not accepted in mainstream science.
#ufosky Big news!! My first episode as monthly guest host of Whitley Strieber’s Dreamland premieres today, with scientist Kevin Knuth: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dre… Also, I’ve launched a Patreon and Discord server to build a community of like-minded seekers: patreon.com/neongalactic Join us!
IMPORTANT: I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER NOW
Narrator: The problem was guns.
Happy anniversary!
Thanks!
Buckle up for a wild read #UFOsky Couldn’t have put the precarious state of ‘ufology’ better myself...leveraging fear of the unknown for control is the oldest trick in the book, but now it’s wrapped with a technofascist transhumanist ribbon 🎀
Thanks!
Again, MIB hits the nail on the head.
When Wendy down the street believes what the tarot deck tells her, that’s not hurting anyone. When RFK Jr. decides he can walk through the airport and determine which children have mitochondrial damage just by looking at them, we’re in trouble. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/some-idle-...
And RFK wanted to be president?!?
They should do a twofer with Benedict Arnold.
They labeled the image I used as “graphic,” because it is. I chose it so people could see the truth.
Seven months in, things are bad and getting worse. With pressure ratcheting up on every aspect of American life, it seems like we’re headed for disaster. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/were-done-...
Eva Braun would look fabulous on the cover, too.
www.newsweek.com/2025/07/18/f...
Great, so act.
Well-meaning people will make well-meaning noises. No action will be taken. Because America has decided its ok to sacrifice her children for the gun lobby. Because America is broken. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/the-second...
Comrades, for the Daily Beast this week, I wrote about our glorious Marxist revolution! www.thedailybeast.com/socialism-is...
Say what you want about the movie, but that's a great fucking poster.
It’s official. September 6th. From all across this nation. We march in D.C. Join us.
Yes, we learned during covid that if you just pretend something doesn't exist, everything works out fine.
If you have to repeatedly say you're not a dictator...
Can't be worse? Check back in with me next week.
Then you've got the much-younger and much more technofascist JD Vance in his place. It's already too late (?)
Thanks, Mike.
Without doing any research on this topic whatsoever I’m going to guess that this same story has been written at least once a year for the last 50.
It really is this easy.
Guess I'll be testing this out, possibly on TV.
How long until Libertarian Xanadu turns into Lord of the Flies?
CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD!!! MEN ARE DANCING IN DIRECT CONTRAVENTION OF FOOTLOOSE TOWN RULES!!!
Wow. Trump turning his back on Trump's only achievement. Sad.
Exactly right. They're torturing this guy for the crime of their clerical fuck-up.
Here’s what kids care about: feeling safe and feeling loved. You think they give a shit whether it comes from two women or two men or a village of elders of a pack of wolves? They do not. Snoop’s hang-up isn’t with Disney. It’s with Snoop. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/homophobia...
As someone who has watched this project for over 25 years now I need u to clearly understand this: there is no secret plan. There is no strategy from Democrats. It literally is as shitty as it appears. Democrats benefit so much from their base thinking “they couldn’t be this weak/stupid.” They are.
Yeah, it's totally... fine.
Sweet - so we're also going to take minority stakes in oil companies, agribusiness, airlines, banks, and auto companies! It's full communism, brought to you by MAGA.
MAGA is a movement designed to generate maximal outrage, rooted in the paranoic fear that shadowy puppet masters (Jews) are imposing their liberal (demonic) beliefs on everything that is good and holy, like Cracker Barrel and diet beer. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/ol-uncle-h...
Gavin Newsom will be interviewing the old Cracker Barrel logo on his podcast.
Ken has asked for privacy during this difficult time.
But I thought he was an MS-13 gang leader and human trafficker? Why is this administration so soft on crime???
I really hope Abrego Garcia gets to keep his frequent flyer miles from all this globe-trotting. Oh, and I hope he gets a billion dollars from the eventual lawsuit against the US.
Everybody understands that we're facing the end of representative democracy, right?
Could not disagree more with Mehdi here. Of COURSE the Dems, when in power, should not do whatever the fuck they want. They should follow the Constitution.
The whole Cracker Barrel thing is the nail in the coffin for the word WOKE. It's meaningless to those people now. It means fucking nothing. It means "I don't like this because it changed." It means "I have a room temperature IQ and something doesn't look right." It means "The world scares me mommy!"
"'Slow Horses' is a show about cowards, knaves, scoundrels, and drunks. And they’re the good guys. It’s also about karma. The unfortunate habit our past regrettable actions have of boomeranging onto our future selves." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/musing-on-...
I HATE this; I wrote about why. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/fuckery-of...
Sandwich throwers assemble!
Thanks!
Michael Ian Black knows what time it is.
"It’s a nation that’s poorer, meaner, dumber, and armed with nukes manned by Christian nationalists who believe that the Second Coming is imminent. All of this because Texas is redrawing their Congressional maps? Actually, yes." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/fuckery-of...
I think it's some sort of object.
I mean, that's what we're about. I forget which is which sometimes.
Of course. That's what we do.
The hilarious thing is that the current folks are the best he could find.
For the Daily Beast, I wrote about Trump's cankles. www.thedailybeast.com/long-live-do...
MATES is back. New episodes of Mike and Tom Eat Snacks coming soon!
Sweet lil’ episode of Have I Got tNews For Your Ears with Dave Foley out now. We both look very handsome. youtu.be/jncbfyfHy9Y?...
Their shock often comes from meeting alien hybrid children. “This is your daughter,” a woman might be told. The woman has no memory of intercourse. This is a fairly typical story in an atypical field. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/ufos-ghost...
I wasn't a fan before, but Andrew Cuomo has plumbed new nadirs of shitbaggery of late.
And a lot of crops are getting unpicked. I sense an opportunity!
Rather than a hotel voucher, the woman - again, very nice and very unhelpful - sent me to a website that sells discounted hotel rooms. “I understand your frustration,” she told me several times. “But your safety is our priority.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/fucking-fu...
Even as I write these words, my brain is casting around for some reason why such a thing might be happening other than the reason that it is: because some people want nothing more in this life than to hurt other people. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/this-is-fine
I am what I am
Hm - not sure
duh i'm Magritte i can't paint faces for shit duhhh
Tomorrow and Saturday I'll be in Denver at the Comedy Underground rehearsing my special, which I'll be taping at the Bell House in Brooklyn next week. You can come to any/all of these.
Honestly, I’m grateful to the current administration for revealing the nation to me in a way I’d never appreciated. I honestly didn’t know that so many of us are cruel. And amoral. And, frankly, dumb. I didn’t know, and I feel like a fool for not knowing. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/the-ice-cr...
They knew Michael Crawford?
For the Daily Beast, I wrote about this year's class of Kennedy Center honorees, a real who's who of WHAT? www.thedailybeast.com/trumps-kenne...
How DARE you cope?
Huh. I wonder why?
I’m still there!
“Water - people complain about drowning in it, but nobody ever talks about how helpful it is for making rice.”
I'm old enough to remember Quibi.
I wonder how many of those arrests were about people confronting the massive law enforcement surge.
We’ve had some pretty good ideas here in the US. Is our park system our best? I don’t know, but it’s pretty darned good. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/this-land-...
Please, please, please somebody ask for him his specific interpretation of American history.
This is a great read
Since crime is at a 30 year low in DC, what are the National Guard going to do? Beautify? Homeless services? Maybe they could run a pick-up basketball league for middle schoolers? This could be great!
Thanks
"My name is Michael Ian Schwartz. My father was a Jew. My mother was a Jew. And I am a Jew. Before now, I have never associated shame with those words. I do now. And yes, I’m publishing this on Substack, which has a Nazi problem."
Seems like if his criticism is that the Dems didn’t act when they were in power it would be easy enough to rectify that problem now that his party is in power, no?
Thanks so much!
In honor of #HamilTEN, I wrote about a couple of Hamilton-related things I love. One is @michaelianblack.bsky.social’s 2015 interview w/ Lin-Manuel Miranda; it has been on my “Saved” list in my app for nearly a decade, and I go back and listen when I need a boost. ✨ open.substack.com/pub/atkinson...
If you read the piece you'll see I did no such thing. I AM better!!!