The artist formerly known as Randy T. Festus
120 followers 289 following 431 posts
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One time I won free tickets from Chris Perez on twitter for answering a classic rock trivia question. I was at Ohio State and could not attend and then he subtweeted me right after saying only participate if you're in Cleveland and free. I was just having fun!
HP Sauce and mushy peas are enough to get British cuisine in my good graces tbh
every time you look up what could be wrong with a plant the two answers are always either too much or too little water
happy labor day
granted I haven't had any of my takes go viral (yet) but I don't really see how the blue sky scolds could be any worse than the Nazis, boosted replies, and bots that run rampant on Twitter
what's neat is you can find out exactly how much he was willing to sell his soul for (1.5 million)
to say nothing of the current cracker barrel logo "controversy", I do remember when they had the audacity to introduce meatless sausage and everyone flipped their shit, proving once again that the softest demographic in the world is the meat eating white conservative
Isaac Chotiner interviewed Biden's close friend and last ambassador to Israel, Jack Lew, and in the interview Jack Lew explicitly defends Israel killing children. Lew's defense of this is so offensive that Isaac Chotiner interrupts him twice and then says outright that he's wrong.
if you can't run a mile under 7 minutes you don't get to lecture me, sorry!
one thing I'm real sick of is dead eyed bearded meatheads telling me what manliness or healthiness is when they look like they're bursting at the seams from their refusal to eat a vegetable or do some cardio
long held that anyone who voted for Trump was either malicious or stupid. Still believe that, but beginning to resent the stupid more and more. I could see him as an obvious con man, but him winning has made me an unwilling mark in his bullshit schemes and now I (among many) will suffer for it
bedbug Bret writes the exact same column every other week, in what world does this warrant needing a full time assistant
if (a big if) dems get power again in 26/28 and fail to dismantle DHS/ICE, it’s game over, permanently.
haven't listened yet but how many times does Hans say "wheels and heels"? My bet is at least five
these people are simply not Christians and it's about time we stop referring to them as such
he says from Peachtree City lol
I disliked that Pulte fellow ever since he was performatively giving cash away on twitter years ago
why does she move like that? uncanny
Their shitty chatbot just connects you to an obvious AI agent when you request to chat with a real person. Not that slick!
I don't think a single company on earth has worse customer service than Verizon. Just absolute dog shit, bottom of the barrel
even moreso frustrating that Dickens will cruise to reelection unopposed, even after making a one-man decision to axe Beltline rail (to say nothing of his one-man decision to axe the Cop City referendum)
Endlessly frustrating that a few wealthy business owners and Inman Park residents can trump the thousands of people who would benefit from transit on the most densely populated part of the Beltline but hey that's Modern Politics for you.
Beltline CEO Higgs all but confirms that rail will not be coming to the Eastside in this WABE interview: www.wabe.org/atlanta-belt... Absolutely generational whiff by the Mayor and the Beltline
The Independent has identified Eric Lendrum as the DHS PR officer responsible for a relentless flood of social media posts on DHS pages using Nazis memes, slogans and images. www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
it’s no wonder that Bari Weiss’ protege would be the one to write something at once both unimaginably stupid as well as cruel
I also find Trump voters irredeemable but we're different in the sense that I think Trans and unhoused people should exist
Gavin Newsom is a ghoul and his stated politics deplorable but I really do respect and identify with his loathing and absolute contempt for anyone related to the MAGA movement
an assault on my well being youtu.be/knC9GC5vBWs?...
just an absolute indictment of the dem leadership. not at all cut out for the present moment.
I think part of the reason I look back on my time in Columbus with disdain is because I lived in the campus area the entire time which was so homogeneous. Compare that to my time in Chicago, Atlanta, and even certain neighborhoods back in Cleveland, all of which I remember much more fondly
twofold - being able to walk or bike everywhere, getting to interact with different cultures and people (shops, restaurants, festivals, events, etc.)
Lauren and I got into a big fight about this once lol those same cats are also decimating the bird population
brought to you by reading a nextdoor post where like 10 separate people have commented about their cats getting eaten by coyotes (in metro Atlanta no less)
one of my left field hot takes - cats should always be kept indoors
I mean this is obviously untrue statistically but if this is the tack you wanna take then clearly increasing police funding across the board has done nothing to reduce crime and thus should be reversed
I know this is a net good for society but they'll have to pry the creamy pints from my cold dead hands
this tracks with the conversation we recently had with the proprietor of the bottle shop that's providing for our wedding where she said she basically has no one under 30 walk through the door, but their sister store which does NA and THC drinks is a smash hit with the kids
the mayor cancelling beltline rail in favor of a bunch of rich nimbys who get all of one like on every IG post they make makes me see red. real nice grassroots movement
I will beat the ever loving shit out of anyone who "Groks" my dead Mother
what are we doing here? how can you be “surprised” by a stationary concrete object????
I saw someone call traffic calming curbs downtown near the SCAD campus "woke third world (?) nonsense". Just slow down?
there are a lot of aggressively stupid and unkind people on the internet
feeling good and justified with my "never mayor Pete" stance
got an espresso machine as an early gift from the registry and I think it might lead me to an early death (have had two double shots already today)
love to be 33 going on 68 when I tweak my back for three days by stepping wrong once
give authoritarians an inch and they take a mile! somehow our most powerful institutions keep falling for this!
NYT aping for Israel in so much of their coverage and publishing 20 Bret Stephens columns about why Palestinians are sub human and this is the thanks they get
had the pleasure of having Delia as a state rep when I lived in Chicago. She is as principled and courageous now as she was then - so pleased to see her so steadfast in her convictions.
as cut and dry of a modern lynching as possible and these chuds still feel comfortable trying to relitigate it using their real names and pictures! Vile scum
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by the depravity of internet comments, but seeing some of the replies on the posts about the Run with Maud (Ahmaud Arbery) coming up in Atlanta make me see red
been pescetarian for 7 years for my own reasons. I know I still contribute to environmental degradation and could do better. Vegans are correct!
reading about how pigs are asphyxiated to a slow and painful death with co2 and your only impulse is to reply "mmm bacon"
people love to call vegans preachy but god forbid you ever look at the replies on any post highlighting how cruel modern factory farming and slaughter practices are
people who go 25 miles per hour on the highway onramp - why?
in light of the worst song ever discourse here’s our “no” list for the wedding (WIP)
I am going to be a massive humorless asshole about woo-woo shit, no matter how seemingly harmless, for the rest of my life due to this. astrology, homeopathic medicine, etc etc it's all bullshit and it's not fucking harmless. there are people who will die due to this who would have otherwise lived.
got an espresso machine as an early wedding gift and I have had three (3) double shots so far today
if I get an AI obit i’m haunting everyone
President Xi my country yearns for your sage leadership
outlook is particularly bad lol it always gets it SO wrong
trump making a show of the fitness test coming back is very funny to me because there is not a single person in that white house who could run one mile
I knew my high school was preppy but seeing this really lays it all out
you're the daughter of Michael Lux I am sure you will figure it out lol
I had a lot of angst towards the lacrosse players at my school who EXCLUSIVELY listened to either or both of these two acts
said it then, still believe it now
quelle suprise
cc @richbabymama.bsky.social
one of my earliest memories is being at a family function at my grandparents and getting a taste of one of these then asking if I could have the whole thing and getting scolded uniformly by 4-5 elderly Hungarians
pleased to let the other pet parents know that the poop bags are indeed good at picking up poop
never done a recovery IV because I'm scared of the ramifications - hangovers are a necessary punishment to keep me humble
I know you put the family qualifier but glad we’re not doing a wedding party 😅
✅ dim the headlights ✅ ban the leaf blowers simple as
if she ran for president on this alone she'd get my vote
to be fair, Jim was being a cranky little bitch
they're preventing me from speaking my truth on Nextdoor
unsurprisingly “fuck you I got mine” is not a great get out the vote message
when I worked in a call center and the DOB was in the 1970s I always knew I was gonna catch hell
forget boomers, Gen X remains the most deeply evil generation
in case you're wondering, yes, the author is a baptist from Texas
always brings a smile to my face to see this freak getting owned
This is correct. Any candidate cynically “triangulating” on trans kids is a non-starter, and now is the time to say so. There’s still so much time to advance candidates that DON’T suck.
Because she died two years ago this week, I’m thinking of the best lore about my mother, and I think one of my favorite things is that she was in labor & the doctor was not listening that she was in pain so she punched him in the face :)
whirlwind bachelor trip was the best and fastest 48 hours of my life. I love my friends so much
incredible. Yeah we cannot wait - it's a lot but thinking of trying to do Lisbon, Sao Miguel (Azores), and Porto in 12 days 🤞
there's so many issues with this but chief among them: 1. Who is going to watch the baby when the mother works 20 hour weeks. No consideration of childcare costs (of course) 2. On what planet can you afford a house at 67k *combined* income? Parts of Gary or East Cleveland maybe but nothing else
boomers genuinely believe this is how the world works. absolutely detached from objective reality (and they run the place!)
to this day I think this is one of the funniest things @theonion.com has ever done theonion.com/who-is-our-f...
turns out the easy secret to getting the best sleep of your life is to ride a bike for 2.5 hours
sorry I stand corrected it was SIX days from the Ohio river to Erie 🥵
bike ride with FIL this morning wish me luck (the man rode across the entirety of Ohio in like 8-10 days or something last summer)
lib boomers celebrating red state disasters are no different from maga boomers imo
if you’re still setting off fireworks into july 5th you’re kind of a schmuck
likely place for that to happen, yeah
I don’t know how Marta expects to host the world cup. this peachtree experience has been dismal so far. waiting 20 min for a train we can fit on
not a novel insight by any stretch but it's sad and unfortunate how much the maga movement has just straight up poisoned the brains of so many people
at this point taxing billionaires out of existence is the moderate stance
