The kids weren’t praying hard enough.
Blue resistance deep in the heart of Texas. Studied History only to scream into the void as we repeat it! Love books, games, travel, learning something new, and being a nerd. Recently married the girl from high school who secretly crushed on me. HOOK’EM
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The kids weren’t praying hard enough.
One more hour and the coast is gonna have to seek medical attention.
He thinks he can tell if a kid is a Jedi? Their mitochondrials are off the charts!!
If somebody tried to console me by saying that to my face, we’re fighting.
Don’t give up! You’ll come up with one CRUST in time.
The most stuff happens where the most people live! A shocking revelation if it can be believed.
Oh this one’s going up on the fridge Mr President.
Texas in 2025.
Pickleball is too sexual of a name for this class…. You should move it to the weight room.. maybe around the snatch.
I just received a formal job offer to move from Texas to Vermont. My wife is beside herself excited. We are looking most forward to dumping ted Cruz and replacing him with @sanders.senate.gov.
She’s so stupid. If he was he would have thrown a deep dish pizza.
At freshman orientation for university, I met up with a girl I had been chatting with regularly on Facebook. Suddenly in person I had no idea what to say or anything so we just kinda… sat there for an hour waiting for orientation to start. This is giving off the same sad energy I did way back when
I’m glad I wasn’t alone thinking that SEC show was a bummer. It did make me like sellers at South Carolina more though.
The sandwich had an extended magazine so it’s technically an assault sandwich. More harsh charges.
Now he’s facing the foot long arm of the law.
No wonder he needs greenlands mineral rights! He is giving ours to Putin!!
Woah.. we’re getting bonus wall!!
My god! Someone finally got the monster with the rapsheet a $5 foot long.
It’s the income you get from talking to ghosts.
Deported I think is probably more linely
Is rock bottom the ideal outcome for geologists?
You know what they say. If you shenan once; you inevitably shenanigan.
Someone might want to point out that just shows she’s too stupid to pick up on the other ways they mocked her.
I hope she has a series where she teaches other conservative wives how to WHITE up ethnic recipes. Take out all the spices and flavor and make sure you give it a new patriotic name!
Weird… do we know of any other organization that terrorizes minorities that jumps out of the back of Penske trucks…
It releases the chemicals that make them hit dingers. The government is making our kids go yard!!!
Why was I forced to watch that with my special eyes?! What have you foisted upon my memory!!
Wow aren’t bullet points usually supposed to be the positive things…
Just to throw this out there but Texans literally ran from the fight until the fight was winnable at San Jacinto thank you Sam Houston.… that’s exactly what we do.
That might be your way to try and twist my words… back into some semblance of truth because I’m a fucking idiot.
It just tastes like tasty wheat to me.
Could you please post a summary of this in video format so I know what I’m commenting on?
Yo something bad is in there….
So they just put your generic windows background in there
You mean cable news’ most punchable face award winner 6 years running?!
His smile makes me think of predator. What the hell are youuuuu.
It is a relief to me that I can’t comprehend someone hating a stranger this much. Turns my stomach.
People need to pay attention. Tennessee is basically what the GOP wants the entire country to be.
“Diamonds used to be a girls best friend… but now bitches want coal.” -DOE-
Congrats to Ellie Sheehan on becoming the first woman to be named drum major of the Penn State Blue Band!
Oh god. I’d rather it be death claws!!
Wow. Who knew you could get a PHD in idiotic drivel! Good for mr insensitive jerk.
She said crypt keeper not Stephen miller. Wrong photo.
He took my precious!!!
And my dad with his great amazing strength said; “don’t use pussy straws.” -watters-
That’s why we always pay to have the games at the SEC stadiums. We don’t want to get MACssacred!
Also his golf swing is the most janked shit ever. He looks like a toddler with those plastic golf clubs you get at age 2
Wait… what do hyenas do? Teach me something!!
Stop drawing attention to my time traveling antics please.
In all the scenarios that you could at least understand someone trying to cheat… he’s alone so this is just for him. More than anything else that’s how you know he’s pathetic, insecure and small.
For just .65 cents a day you can save a starving child. We will go to Gaza and hold the food until they say thank you. I think the PSA commercial writes itself.
You have to summon him first. Like beetle juice. Biden’s old Biden’s old Biden’s old.
Comics always go after those in power. And that’s only a problem when a certain side is in power. Jay Leno may have a giant chin but he sure as hell has a glass jaw here.
The louder they are the harder they fall.
Live your life in such a way that you’d get invited to the cookout.
Guarantee he was doing it as some sort of power move.
Geeze Mehdi, haven’t you already embarrassed “quite frankly” enough!!
Only the true free thinkers think act and say the same thing. You’ll never understand with your big liberal brain.
Who doordashes HOOTERS!!!
So to sum up trumps argument now about Epstein: “the files don’t exist but they are also a hoax by Obama… but Clinton’s name is on it and that’s 100% real.” #epsteinfiles
They know how to reach you in the wolf lair when you aren’t flying righteous missions for the USA?!
They would be the first choice for me if I had to choose one NFL team to play against for one game… but the last team I’d want to play against at quidditch.
As I just said on CNN, my father's parents were Nakba survivors. I don't want Israeli children to live in fear and I don't want Palestinian children to starve to death. There is nothing anyone could do to make me put nationalistic talking points above basic human rights.
Couldn’t get past the first paragraph. Why does it feel like the author tried teaching and got made fun of for sitting backwards in the chair and saying: “I’m not like other teachers.”
Jerome Powell IS A GODDAMN BADASS AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. He straight up grabbed Trump's prop document, put his reading glasses on and VERBALLY DISEMBOWELED every lie that came out of Trump's decrepit jowls. RIGHT TO HIS FACE. WHILE WEARING A FUCKING HARD HAT. Most gangster shit I've ever seen.
I would like to know where to find all of this money I supposedly have.
BREAKING: We just subpoenaed the Epstein files. As a survivor of sexual assault, I know the pain & trauma survivors carry. This subpoena is a massive victory for every survivor who has ever been silenced, dismissed, or harmed. Bondi must release the files immediately. We demand accountability.
Never put more than 5% of your portfolio into a single stock and never more than 20% in any industry.” Then he picks up the water and says; “that’s the core to fiscal responsibility.”
Harry Potter and the leave of absence.
Which makes it ok to be a pedophile! I mean if one side is doing it, then we better start doing it to before they get the good ones! That is the next step in that statement I’m afraid.
If you could get into that guys place what are the odds you could lie to him while handing him something sayings he’s resigning and he wouldn’t notice? Just curious if this is a good final use of that monkey paw I have.
Sam Rockwell, best known for his role as “cigarette thug” in teenage mutant ninja turtles.
Is water wet? Im gonna have to disagree with you on that. I’m looking at this glass of water and am perfectly dry.
He can also smell what the rock is cooking.
If they were smart they would find one maga fanatic who owns a gas station and bribe him to lower gas prices and then use those 5 stations as examples. I am so good at fraud.
I love how discombobulated you can make some of these folks just by rejecting their premise or refusing to engage in their wildest shit.
Ok yes I flew on his plane. but I didn’t stay at the island. Ok I did stay at the island but not in the same room as a 15 year old. Ok they were double booked and the child was in the room when I arrived but I didn’t sleep with said child… ok so we slept together but it was consensual… ok it wasn’t.
I’ve said this a lot recently… but I genuinely mean it when I say that’s the most fucked up honesty I’ve been very seen from someone.
That’s why he’s so surprised. He appointed someone who’s effective at their job. That has to be earth shattering for Trump.
I think I’d want to shake his hand so I can get one more shot off about a limp handshake just to send his hat spinning.
$2 billion to house what… 300 people?
Ironically a perfect lesson for students about questioning the motives of industry experts giving their opinions.
Alt text included!
Nobody in the GOP would respect Vance either. He doesn’t command the loyalty of the fanatics so they would wash him out so quick.
This is disgusting but it should also be pointed out that it may be the most creative Trump has ever been.
Oh see they always loved judicial oversight!
We tried playing the democracy game but they wanted to play this one. If we’re going down this road bet your ass we’re gonna do it speeding.
Do you think when he popped from the hellfire crevice he calls his mothers womb that the doctors immediately went; “what a douche.”
They won’t say no to me touching them either… and if they do, I can’t hear them.
If Michael Jackson can stop being a person of color then damn it so can you.
They will reap this if we manage to capture the midterms.
You know after he said that he went: “oh got him with that tower line. Now he looks like a fool.”
Thank god he caught that… it sure would have been an embarrassing post if he hadn’t fixed that spelling error.
Watch out Howard Taft. He’s coming for fattest next!!
The same Alan Dershowitz who a few days ago said he’s seen the list himself?
Nice way to learn that Greg murphys parents hated him.
Truly nefarious. You don’t rig it everytime just some of the time. That way they never know and it never matters!
We are truly all powerful and all knowing… but we suck at rigging elections. A less exciting wizard of OZ
I am finding a lot of joy in watching this “I’m super tough and badass” guy realize that a 9-5 desk job is hard and he can’t handle it.
Fulgrim’s space marines sure love the story of him and ferrus manus forging weapons in the sparky warehouse from footloose. But read between the lines and they are just making dildo replicas and then declaring that the other’s cock is too mighty so they swap… for reasons.