😆

What if the baby is ticking and the only way to save the stadium is to hit it out of the park Then what? Huh? Huh?

What in the everloving fck? Actually ask some atheists if you want an answer. Hopefully you won’t get punched in the face. I’m an atheist. I do not want to hit any Christian or any other faith infant with a baseball bat. 🤨

That’s a balk. And a foreign substance. Runners advance and pitcher ejected.

I'd raise a formal complaint about the pitcher bringing babies onto the field

Is it a curve baby or a slider?

For one thing, a Christian baby in no way moves like a baseball. For another, wtf is wrong with these people?

Oh no I have been checkmated

If it was a hindu baby you'd need to admit the truth of Hinduism, which is more complex. So there's that.

Wait, they are throwing babies and asking would we hit them with a baseball bat. They are throwing babies, think they have already lost and don’t even know it.

What a stupid proposition

I’m confused as to how hitting the baby out of the park makes you millions.

Don't worry about it, just bat the winning hit, as they always say in base ball

The umpire in this game is a real 'play it as it lays' kinda guy.

If you bash it, they will come.

It's a baby, they're born atheist.

Well, the Kantian in me says no, but if instead of the baby it was Vance I might bunt.....

If I bunt, is the thirdbaseman going to be able to make a clean scoop and throw me out? I feel like I could leg that one out

Damn these Christian babies have terrible parents.

😂

I would do it if the boy in the bubble and the baby with the babbling heart were one and the same.

Baboon!

Adapting Poe into a modern day TV 4-episode miniseries called The Babbling Heart

Well you'd better hit it out, because there's no way you're legging out a base hit with diamonds on the soles of your shoes.

These are the days of miracles and wonders

"win millions"? I'm barreling that kid up. shouldn't have gotten baptized, you stupid christian baby. rotating my hips and driving it

Christian baby doesn't get the spin and doesn't make it to home plate.

Dude, I’m impressed you got the baby across the plate

“I would spare it, but first I would baptize it as a Protestant.”

A Christian baby flying toward me at Nolan Ryan fastball speeds, and only a regulation wooden bat to protect myself? 😱

What’s the pitch count? Are there runners on base? So many variables

the in-fant shift

variations add more complexity, like what if the baby were a famous violinist or a lapsed catholic

What if by not swinging the bat, I save 2 or 3 non-christian babies? Which do I choose?

What if the baby was actually flying across the path of the pitch like that bird that Randy Johnson hit, but the force of the pitch carried it over the plate? What then?

Hey quick question what the fuck

we're turning christian babies into rockets into the gaps, get with the motherfucking program

The baby studied at the Vienna Conservatory of Music. It came in at the middle of the trimester.