Deeply effective in your use of spare, confessional language conveying emotional volatility and restraint. The shift to short, emphatic lines like “my / own / goddamned / record / collection”—mirrors the internal fragmentation & determination. Closing lines philosophically quiet, an unresolved loss.
AND thank you so much for the repost!
Thanks, Rachel! I appreciate your comments. I kept cutting off the last bit because it felt too philosophical. Then I kept pulling the rest back so that maybe it went together. I'm not sure if the completely unhinged earlier versions were better -- although maybe a little inaccessible. Ha.
I remember you wanted feedback. 😊 As a reader, it works, but yes, assembling and cutting is the hard part for me!
I'll always take feedback! I have no idea what I'm doing!
😂