Ugh it's the shepherd boy
He'll be on to flogging knitwear and plushies soon enough.
there's this mountain of pure diamond...
![1. [SCENE: Medieval village next to a hill with sheep grazing on it. From somewhere in the village comes a sound effect:] DING 2. [We now see a MEDIEVAL PERSON looking at a smartphone. He is talking to ANOTHER MEDIEVAL PERSON] MEDIEVAL GUY: Ugh [Phone sounds again] DING 3 MEDIEVAL GUY: It’s that shepherd boy again 4 MEDIEVAL GUY: He’s started a WhatsApp group for wolf attacks 5 MEDIEVAL GUY: Everybody in the village has joined it to be polite But he’s got all needy and started oversharing 6 [Show the guy’s phone. It displays a WhatsApp group called 'Sheep Chat!!!’, with a photo posted by the Shepherd boy of him taking a selfie with a sheep. Caption reads “HEY GUYS THE SHEEP SAY HI!!!!”] 7 MEDIEVAL GUY: I really want to leave the group bit it’d look too rude It’s like his only entertainment up there 8 ANOTHER MEDIEVAL PERSON: Mute him then [Phone goes DING again] 9 MEDIEVAL GUY: But what if a wolf comes along and eats him and his flock in some kind of narratively satisfying bloodbath? 10 [He pauses. Phone goes DING once more.] 11 [PHONE GOES CRAZY] DING DING DING [He looks at it and just presses MUTE] 12 MEDIEVAL GUY: Ahem. [ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibr67fq2gyoerxbrdi7ky6yzxk65obkhnpjtj6x4idmj7oo6hxojm@jpeg)
