oh yeah sorry - SMUG PARENT’S GUIDE to SURVIVING THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS [Show a smug looking parent] SMUG PARENT: Hello there – I’m Smug Parent SP: The summer holidays are here again! A whole 6 weeks of family time. SP: Tragically, most kids will spend it plonked in front of an Xbox playing Fortnite.
thanks!
[Smug Parent shows us his child, sat in front of an Xbox] SP: But not mine. [Smug Parent smashes the Xbox with a hammer] SP: On the first day of summer, I give my children something truly unexpected….
[Smug parent produces a crumpled little wrapped present] SP: The gift of boredom. [He gives it to his child, who opens it to find it empty] CHILD: What is it SP: Some boredom. Now piss off.
SP: In our house, the children enrich their inner lives by making dens in the woods, performing self-penned plays and rolling picturesquely down verdant hills SP: Thus providing a shit-tonne of great Instagram content for me… [He’s snapping them with his phone]
SP: And some nice smug copy for my lifestyle blog! [Show SP typing on a laptop the title: ‘Giving The Gift Of Boredom’] CHILD: This boredom has enriched me so, Daddy! SP: I’m having that [Taps on laptop] [ends]