Polish your Petoskey stones!

Aren't they from the ocean?

There are probably other fossilized coral rocks found on shores around the world, but Petoskey stones specifically can only be found around Lake Michigan!

So cool! A fossil of coral that looks like a fractal 🧐

Yes! I immediately thought of these. I have never been to Michigan, but most of my family has lived there and my dad was born there. I wore my Petoskey earrings the other day ✨️

Polish your sausages (in both senses of both words)

I once picked up a lovely Little Rock on a beach and put it in my pocket. A few hours later I discovered it was chewing gum. Ick.

😵‍💫

As a kid I had a rock tumbler. To make all rocks look wet permanently. Am I the only one? #90sKid

Family friends had one and when we kids had sleepovers in the finished basement, that thing went all night in the next room... Scarred. 🤣

I don’t even have any of those rocks today 🥺

It’s true. media.vanityfair.com/photos/649b2...

You win the Internet! (I can skip the rest of the thread and go home happy.)

what about gregory peck??

He’s no Rock.

Neither is Burt Lancaster, but he did get very wet for this movie. (TBH I have not seen it though it's been on my list. I think I took out a library DVD out of curiosity but never got to it.)

Gregory Peck did devastating eyebrow as well.

A highbrow eyebrow at that...

Perfection!!

Well, it's true.

I think I was 7 when I got that.

Rub them with some oil & you can enjoy the illusion awhile longer

i collect them anyway line my beds with them and when the sprinkler hits them they’re pretty again 😂

Yeah, I'll bet. It had sparkly flecks in it.

Everything is way cooler when wet due to evaporative thermal transfer 🤓

He is still nicer than people.

That's why you need to tumble them! It will bring back that wet look

yall gotta polish them. You can also put vaseline on them and bake them for a bit for a "cheap polish" if you want. I like rocks. I also have this issue a lot where they looked cooler wet.

I know that one because I once owned a rock shop.

Can confirm

@blankcheck.bsky.social does Producer Ben work for the onion now?

Every. Time.

Put in in an aquarium then

It must've been a helluva kidney stone.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

More truth from The Onion. 🤨

I feel seen

Love you, never change

Those could be song lyrics... Just saying 🎶

Slippy Stone no more...

They always do...

This is the kind of hard hitting news that the mainstream media will never report.

Maybe because that ain’t a rock! 💩

Otters have a pocket that holds their favorite rock. I’m guessing, the otter wants to mate with you if you have his rock.

They always do.

Mineral oil

Anyone else think immediately of Petosky stones?

So do some wet t-shirts.

It's still pretty cool tho

😆

Lol am new here on this app trying to make genuine and honest friends with carefulness

@slushyotter.bsky.social look a cool rock ^~^

It's still a good shape, though.

Aquarium rock 👍🏾

At least it looks like it will be good for skipping!

Daring to tell the truth.

I feel this in my soul

I keep mine in water

I feel seen.

Story of my rock-collecting life.

IYKYK

Every thing looks cooler wet.

can you post some good news for a change please? the paper is depressing enough.

The amount of times I’ve shown someone a rock and then said “But wait ‘til I get it wet” ……….

Aquarium for rocks. Only rocks.

Outstanding

Doesn’t everything…?

I watched an hour long video one insomniatic night of a guy who took rocks like this and polished them up so they looked cool again. 😛

my Pixel Buds A-Series charging cass

Same for people when you go to a water park.

depends

Thpit on it, Luke....

Spit on that thang

Feeling kind of called out on this one.

Always does

Yeah, that happens specially with the orange ones with white stripes. Dry they look like dirt.

Haha Just like petosky stones

why would the onion steal my jokes like this and after rejecting the application i never submitted

Like how amusement parks look better at night

I coat my cool rocks in nail polish and let dry, usually keeps the neat colour that way.

Gotta spit on it girl

😂😅😂

😂😂😂😂😂

🏆

I can confirm. Where do I send my ‘disappointed’ photograph?

I feel seen. ❤️

This post rocks.

the bane of rockhounds everywhere...

They always do.

That's why you should find all your cool rocks through #MinCup.

that's why i have a rock tumbler. get them shiny enough the look wet when dry

Those are the rocks I save for using in aquariums <3

@amandasmith.bsky.social

I am against holding rocks to unrealistic beauty standards

😂

Thank you so much for my genuine snortle! Much needed timeline cleanse, back to the doomscrolling with a lighter heart

I’ve had this experience- thank you for covering this - it’s really really important, especially in the Frump era

It’s a bitch

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I know what you mean

Don’t we all?

Pebbles always do, yep.

Kind of like fat white-skinned people looking better when tan, all rocks look better wet.

Tired of these rocks catfishing me

got me again

They're even cooler when they grow up

Good one.

I can already see the body of the story. “It did though” “He’s not wrong.” The end.

Sooo true!

Hence the term - "spit and polish" ... long walks on the beach and months of tumbling; some sand blasting and dremel carving ... It's good to have a hobby!!

Story of my life

Go off.

Pretty much every rock I've ever picked up on a beach lol

Thought very briefly this was about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson looking better when wet.

Now you gotta keep it in a container of water. That’s all. Problem solved.

Heartbreaking.

Worst rock you know used to look better.

When you're collecting beach rocks as a kid.

They always do #disappointment

Always 😕

At first I was like “mmm they must have evolved that way for some reason…” and THEN… THEN I facepalmed and thought “I’m really onto something here, I haven’t heard anyone talking about this yet…”

I used to collect sea glass. It's way prettier when wet.

Can we be friends am new here on this app trying to make genuine and honest friends with carefulness

:-(

Nothing is more disappointing than seeing a cool wet rock dry into a boring normal gray one.

This is absolutely true. 🤣

Still a cool rock 🪨

Thank you. It’s almost 11pm and that was my first laugh of the day. A much needed service in times like these.

I’m personally called out by this 🤣

me too!

I like how they display it dry and not wet, like it would be a lot of trouble to make it wet, for comparison.

every damn time!

May I write a rebuttal article, calling for the normalization of wet bowls of rocks as decorations?

Brought to you by the makers of Rock Glaze!

How very dare. All rocks are cool!

We’ve all been there!!

Put it in a mini water fountain ⛲️

Craft truck: soak in oil, then spray w/fixative or paint w/shellac.

I've been there many times

It’s a pebble!

Thousands of photos like these when my kids were young

@adamtots.bsky.social thought of you

They do that shit.

sure but googly eyes will fix that!

This is how they see trump now, isn't it?

*Wet Ass Pebble

Haha!!!!!!!

Petoskey stones for sure!

and puddingstones

I use a range of sandpapers up to 1500 to bring up the shine...?

Rocks look way cooler when Painted

Feeling called out lmao

The struggle is real.

Always!

Too many people take rock jokes for granite

@missrecreate.bsky.social

😂

This post was made by a Kobold.

That's not a joke, dammit!

Can confirm.

Most things are better wet 😜😝🙈

😭 too real

Spit on it.

Always

So did the Trumb presidency.

Tien...

Haha I was hoping there'd be a stormlight reference in here

I thought this was a satire publication

They usually do…

You can just polish it w mineral oil I've heard

What a cool rock, I think I'll name him Rocky.

been there... done that

That's certainly a sex stone. You know, just another fucking rock.

This happened so many times when I collected rocks as a kid. 😔

Tien to Kaladin

Got a backyard filled with them.

I've got dozens and dozens of them. Kind of a rock hoarder. I look forward to the day when, needing a lift, I will spray them all with water and have a wondrous dazzling display. And then we will see who is laughing.

Rock Looked Way Cooler After I Licked It FTFY

@larrywelt.bsky.social the red bean rock we found in the Eel River

That’s why geologists always say.. “I think I’ll lick this, and see what it looks like.” 🤣

Did you mean "gynecologist" 😝🤷‍♂️🙈

🤣🤣

Haha funny sexual assault 😬

No: I hold no degree in gynecology. 😁

I had a whole collection of those things as a kid, got screwed every time

Heartbreaking 😔

Can confirm.

so did Doris

And less stoned

Maybe this will inspire me to polish rocks in my dotage.

WEIRD STUFF so beware, and of course Minors/Antis DNI!!!

They always do.

if you’re reading the replies and this has happened to you: a little gloss varnish does wonders. nail polish topcoat from the drugstore works, but a spray sealant from the crafts or hardware store gets the best brush-free results

Been there.

Flag Burning Event! 08/25/25 Time: just past dust Location: USA But the world is welcome to join us!!!

cant keep getting away with it

A lot of thing look and feel better when wet, yo.

Fuuuuuck this hits me in my SOUL 😫😫😫😫 (As somebody who has tried to collect cool rocks when I was younger)

Timeless classic

I picked up a wet beautiful rock out of the North Sea (UK) about 30 years ago. It looked just like a ripe peach. Varnished it to preserve peachiness. 15 years later 'why have you got an old baked potato on your bookshelf?' 15 years on spud still hanging round on the windowsill. I remember the peach!

HA HA 🤣

It may be the varnish has turned dark as it aged and turned your peach into a potato. You might try removing it.

I've got used to the baked potato! It nestles unassumingly next to the fossils (mostly bits of ammonite) and other little treasures

Every time!

Bought one years ago as a pet and within a week the eyes fell off it. They wouldn't let me exchange it, so I just threw it off a bridge.

Hope you at least tried to skip it

a rock that is never dry dwayne johnson

It also work with wood

@lauracreature.bsky.social

Real shit though

Yeah, they always do.

mineral oil

They always do🙄

Hahaha, I know this story so well 🙃

Don't we all... 🤭🤭

This is such an insane deep cut. Respect the hell out of it lol

Every time

That made me laugh 🤭

A perennial story

They usually do

That’s how they get you. Every single time.

This is the most real onion article ive ever seen. I am actually into lapidary and we tend to either spray water onto rock slabs or lick them to show the polished look. They always look dull and gross without any polish.

Ahahahahahahahahahshshshahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha I love this SO much.

Is that your pet?

Hear me out: Clear nail polish

Cool! A Petoskey Stone!!

Was just going to comment that it looks like a Petoskey Stone, but you beat me to it. 😊 They do look so much cooler when they are wet.