The loss of respect is a big one. Am I supposed to think these people are being unfortunately lied to and taken advantage of? Purposely being cruel? Or just being stupid. The first seems the most charitable, but it also feels like I'm removing all agency from them.
they are getting satisfaction out of it. it is cruelty, but a familiar cruelty justified by a regime of absolute respect for abusive parents. every harm they seek to inflict they mentally justify as "for your own good" or "teaching a lesson" and they satisfy themselves by imagining this as "love"