You, Patton. You.

He should get his own spy series.

They owe us for all the spidermen, supermen, String Bells and various other american roles that they have taken from us over the years.

Only if he stops voicing tuttle and tuttle goes to poochie land

I like it. This would also do

If James Bond went in this direction, and went back to being a campy, goofy, over-the-top adventure loaded with novel gadgets and technologies, I'd 100% be interested in 007 again. Sadly, they're just going to make more action hero thrillers for the final phase, and Bond will die a tired old man

Hell yeah.

The Kindest Bond. YES!!

Richard as Bond would be amazing

💯 Richard Kind is already Bond. He oozes coolness and spy secrets. Let’s do it!

The ultimate Bond villain

Whose wish list? Jacob Elordi's?? I am not familiar with Harris Dickinson, but 1/3 of this list is definitely an insult to Tom Holland.

No! No! No!

I see your Richard Kind and raise you H Jon Benjamin

He wouldn’t even try to do a British accent. “Bond. James Bond? Could you check the list again, I’m sure I’m on it.”

That's a day 1 watch for me

Jesus… if Hollywood can’t decide I guess I’LL do it, then, just like everything else in the world…

uh hello?

Vodka Lemonade, shaken not stirred

Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Do any of these actors actually need to shave?

Uh... NO. Scrawny white boys do not fit the James Bond type. Give me Idris Elba. Then I might buy a movie ticket. I see one movie in the theater per year on average.

Cate Blanchett as Bomd, and I will die on this hill

That's fanTASTIC!

Yes. Yes.

Tom Holland is like 18 inches tall

That's my Kind of Bond

Idris!?

No, I want him for Batman! I need him to anchor that franchise!

No pls, this dude is already in everyfuckingthing. He is dreamy though

No he’s not

It's him or Pedro Pascal. Choose.

Pedro would be so smoooooth. Maaaan...

Amazon executives running the James Bond focus group.

This list is so trash we might need a black bond.

LETS GO!!!

As.... interesting as that would be, I'd still prefer Idris Elba. Then again, I haven't heard Richard Kind's British accent yet.

The name's Kind...

I'd still love to see Idris Elba have a go

Oh.Hell.Yes.

I have absolute faith that he could pull it off.

If true it’s the end of franchise. Yes I did see the picture of Richard Kind. Maybe use one of the guys as a flashback to when bonds parents died. But that’s it. Henry cavil is still a great choice.

This would unironically kick so much ass

Bummer

Jonah

YES

Tom Holland???? No disrespect, but Tom Holland, as James Bond……alright

There are some great suggestions in this thread. Here’s my pick (Tom Ellis):

Yes

My pick for Bond!

If Richard Kind was Bond I would actually go to my local AMC with the styrofoam popcorn and thimble drinks that cost $15.

Mel Brooks. He can't do the stunts or the sex scenes but who else have you got? Adam Sandler?

Btw: Happy 99th birthday to Mel Brooks!🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🍰🍰🍰🍰

I really want to like this but i can’t kill the vibe.

Yes.

theonion.com/wallace-shaw...

“Changing 1600!”

Inconceivable!

There’s that word again

Inconceivable!

The camera cuts to Bond’s knife embedded in the enemy’s back. He smiles and whispers in the man’s ear. “Rule of Acquisition #48: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.” Bond smiles as he lets his enemy fall to the floor, wiping the blood from his hands.

I mean, i still wish we'd get Idris Elba's interpretation, but I know we don't deserve it, so I can't be too mad.

Kind! James Kind.

Sean Connery is roaring with laughter in his grave. What a bunch of wimps.

This microwave, I'm told, came from the NYC location of Spin City. Richard might have nuked a Hot Pocket in this fucker.

Jesus

Oh he would be great as not as Bond but as a villain. One that seems almost comically harmless but in reality has committed crazy crimes.. but no one's ever sure if he was ever really involved terrified if he was, but hopeful that he wasn't. ❤️

Kind as a Bond villain would be chef’s kiss.

fuck yes

Personally, I would just go with Richard.

Patton, I swear to fucking goddess, you could be an amazing Bond. I have said this before and I'll take it to my grave.

A Kinder option.

bsky.app/profile/spec...

Ok Tom is hands down the best Spiderman but All three of them combined make what? A 45 year old? Bonds training alone would take longer than they've been alive.

I shouldn’t put this out in the world because it’s an idea I had years ago, but I think the next Bond film sequence should be a period piece that starts with Bond in the British Navy during WW2. Maybe that’s where this is going?

Just saying. 😘

Richard Kind would kill it as Bond. He’s the epitome of BDE

I would watch the fuck out of this film.

Yes. Exactly. Watch me become a diehard James Bond fan overnight if you do this.

Richard Kind as James Bond and Patton Oswald as Q.

Johnny American

*extremely Richard Kind voice* “Shaken, not stirred. But not too shaken. If you shake it too much it becomes bubbly and my stomach just won’t handle that these days. Shake it a medium amount. If you think you’re shaking it too much you probably are. In fact I’ll just have a water.”

“You know what? Do you have any seltzer? I normally bring some but this weather really flares up my skin, I mean look at this, look at it! Is there a good doctor around here?”

Would watch.

None. Michael B. Jordan.

007: Killing with Kindness

Didn’t you already do this?! youtu.be/I5BHuws-3To?...

...im here for this!

You know, I...kind of see it

None were on my radar. If limited to these 3 I’d put my money on Tom

If it's not Idris or Tom Hardy, I'm half not interested.

But Tom Hardy with Venom along.

Patton. Patton who? (sorry, I actually love you 🥰)

Sorry - I like Tom Holland a lot, but none of them make me think of Bond, James Bond ...

I’d actually just rather see him play himself as a secret agent.

I vote Wil!!!!

THE NEXT JAMES BOND RIGHT HERE

None of them would be a good James bond....

The names Bond, Jam… never mind that I have this antibiotic resistant pinkeye

Well done onions. I don’t want them limp. I want them crispy

Certainly wouldn’t see him coming.

Bong. Bing bong.

Glad someone made the home before I could

Joke. Wtf was that autocorrect lol

I like where you went with this, but imho it's a damned shame Idris wasn't given the role. He would have killed it...

Then, you should be the next Bond villain.

Q GAVE ME BUPKIS!

You joke but I’d prefer him over any of them.

I still remember Roger Ebert said Kevin James should be Bond after Mall Cop came out.

Remember when in order to play Bond, you had to look like you could survive a punch to the face?

LMAO! Richard Kind as the next James Bond would be awesome!

PLEASE

Richard is one of the nicest guys in all of Hollywood

If Hollywood truly cared about the series, this is the direction to take.

Kind of perfect

Q ? (Claire Foy)

Why not Gus Bond, the terrorist-kicking mule? nothing in the rulebook against it

Honestly, on a grand scale, that's a safe choice.

God no

Richard Kind Bond? I can see it of course I’ve always wanted a Larry David Batman.

Bond. James Bond.

Sloppy, not stirred

Patton Oswald is the obvious choice. Need I explain myself?

Elordi's Austrailan BTW. Just ask @thepaulamarshall.bsky.social (one of your inner circle I am sure is friends with Paula).

Oh dear god.

Honestly, I’m in.

YES

I'm with you. he portrayed the best character on spin city.

I second the nomination 👆🏼

"Shaken? I'm positively trembling!"

Why post a pic of Colin Farrell from The Penguin? Hes not even English!

Making comics I used to tell this to people too, stop giving me handsome spies they need to be unassuming and forgettable like they weren’t even there and speak a lot of languages. Handsome people are as memorable as this guys voice. The sex scenes would be pretty funny as James Bing Bongd.

"You call this martini shaken?"

I guess I don't need any more bond movies in my life for a while...

Having seen his Vader, he could definitely Bond.

Fuck Bond. We need a new Fletch.

Hamm was good, but the movie was meh.

He's charismatic enough

Probably better than my pick

"How do you do, fellow secret agents!"

No, actually.

“The name’s Kind, Dick Kind.” “I sure hope so” —Richard Kind meeting Pussy Galore

🤣 I love that man!

The producers have already said they are looking to do a young Bond just starting out to get his 007 license. Unfortunately, none of the serious suggestions here are young enough actors.

Hahahaha……damnit.

Emily Blunt.

🤣

oh come on @pattonoswalt.bsky.social , don’t be shy, you could totally nail this role! i believe in you!!

Shame Leslie Jordan passed.

Kind, Richard Kind. 10/10 I'd watch.

Tom, Tom Ellis aka Lucifer youtu.be/A5QBmphmLbc?...

I met him a few years ago. Very pleasant man. And even more handsome in person.

I think he’d make a great Bond. He has the looks, but it’s the dry English humor that gets me.

Absolutely! He would be great.

He's kind of the right choice

I still think Denis Villeneuve could make this work.

robriggle.com

Nope. That is not Patton Oswalt. I've seen pictures of him before.

Richard doesn’t want that kind of heat

This is the Kindness we need right now.

Bond. Jaime Bond.

Tom Holland looks too nice

I would fucking pay double.

How about Jim Parsons.

Watch out, Trump will want it.

Who are these adolescents? Yikes…😬😬😬

You can't have an American James... Go on.

Not for Bond but for an upcoming Bond villain I suggest Samuel Roukin

Better than what is proposed. Ugh. Pretty boys.

How about

No normal person should want to work for Bezos.

great, what altruistic movie studio do you recommend

While Disney was lawyering up against dual industry strikes, A24 got to keep production going on multiple projects that were either already done shooting and in post or because they listened to the unions and said "yeah okay we can do that" and the unions were like "cool" and so we got neat movies.

well sure, certainly the best of the bunch, but i guess the broader point being, bezos ain’t the only scumbag here, he’s just the most famous one

Bezos is MAGA scum. Useless MAGA America first scum won't criticize Bezos for choosing Italy over the USA for his wedding. James Bond died in the last film. James Bond isn't American. MAGA scum (including JD Vance) hate Europe. The ghost of James Bond only in the US? youtu.be/SPDVWFKpaNw?...

Bezos is scum. I don't recall any other owner of a movie studio who stopped his newspaper from endorsing a Black woman. Bezos helped a racist rapist anti-union convicted felon. I canceled Amazon about a year ago. I will do my best to make sure Bezos or things associated with him get zero of my $.

genuinely, good for you. i don’t need reading material to know he’s a piece of shit; frankly all i need to know is his net worth. i’m just pointing out that every CEO of every large company is a scumbag, so if some actor wants to be in an amazon movie, whatever, no judgment here. the world is bad

Including Reed Hastings who runs Netflix but no one seems to complain about him because many aren’t familiar with his attacks on public education. I’m sure that person replying to you has a TV with antennas & is perfect in every way lol. I have seen a few of those on here tonight….

Give me Richard Kind as Maxwell Smart please. Please please.

I’d watch the shit out of Richard Kind as Bond

-Nauw, Goldfinger, ya see, I brought a sandwich. -What is that Bond? -I brought a sandwich, whatidya do with it? I can’t have normal meats and cheeses….it’s prescribed. -You have a prescribed sandwich? -More or less, now where is it? Iiiii’m gettin’ maaaaad. (Bond’s new catch phrase)

You could have a young and virile James Bond, sure. But why not a James Bond who's been on BROADWAY 🎭 👐🏾

“Shaken… not stirred. Also, there’s no dairy in there, right? My God, I’ll be half the night riding on the porcelain donkey! I’m sorry! What was your name again?” FEMME FATALE: Schtupp Aplenty!

Yes!

a new Kind of bond

You son of a bitch I was drinking something!

Ok. But every time I see Richard Kind, I think of “Spin City”.and I’d pay a whole lot of money to see Paul Lassiter as James Bond.

The name is Bong, Bing Bong

like him or not, sean connery was the best james bond. all the rest were posers.

Closest to Flemmings original vision of the character.

💚

More kneecap whacking than poison microdarts, but my vote:

Five-O proved Banks could be both Bond and the villain.

lol Bond. Kind Bond.

You put those necks together you get 2/3rds of a giraffe.

They should cast Ron Jeremy and don't make that garbage anymore

At the very least, Richard would be a great Q.

seriously though they do need to make the next Bond film a period piece starring an older actor

Oh- like the origins of MI6? 🤩

yes, stop trying to reinvent James Bond

I agree it should be a period piece. Bond makes the most sense in context of the Cold War. But iirc Ian Fleming said that Bond was in his 30's, mandatory retirement for 00 agents was 45, & Bond planned to check himself out before that. So, maybe older than Tom Holland but younger than Roger Moore.

Since the franchise didn't get retired post-Connery like it should have, they may as well nominate out of a bingo ball spinner. Conan O'Brien!

The only reasonable choice

I would LISTEN to a full narration of ANYTHING by the legendary Richard Kind

Please and thank you

RK for villain. For Bond? You guessed it:

(I will miss Norm forever.)

None, come on! Bond is a man’s man this are gen z who know nothing. Idris Elba should be bond .. no more tom cruise please . Michael b Jordan can do a great bond. Or Pete hegeteff 😂😂😂😂😂

OMG that would be amazing.

THE NAME’S BAHND! JAYMES BAHND!

Honestly Richard Kind would be way better than Tom Holland. Give him Gina Gershon as the lead Bond Girl.

“Hey, what does M stand for? Mohel?”

Only if you’re playing Q

I’d preorder tickets. I’d preorder popcorn. I’d preorder popcorn in the overpriced branded tin.

Dude. Richard would be an amazing Bond. He is a total fashion plate, oozes charm, and can talk the evil out of anyone.

Paging @jessethorn.bsky.social and @hodgman.bsky.social to co-sign