Telling people they are dying and using the word death is very often what we do as chaplains whether it's as trauma chaplain in the ED, a palliative care chaplain or an ICU chaplain.
Replies
There’s a difference between using the word death, and being the person who delivers the diagnosis. I’ve been explicitly taught this summer that providing diagnoses/saying someone will die is the doctor’s job, not mine. I’m not qualified to do that. Conversations after are different.
jul 23, 2025, 3:15 am • 0 0 • view
You may not be hearing them here. Yes, the doctor always gives prognosis, or their best guess. But the language they often use obfuscates and doesn't cut to the heart of what is happening. As a chaplain, we say the word 'death.' We help people understand that no longer pursuing treatment is...
jul 23, 2025, 3:22 am • 2 0 • view
...not a failure, nor giving up, but accepting the agency they have and the limitations of a human body. That is the unique role of a chaplain, which is the extra step to all the other death you have been present for. We keep the silence and help people accept death, even fight for a good death.
jul 23, 2025, 3:22 am • 2 0 • view
I hear them, but they've missed my point. I'm not talking about what board certified chaplains do. I'm not one of those and I'm not going to be. I'm talking specifically about how we train future priests. I think where I'm at is we should train future priests and future chaplains differently.
jul 23, 2025, 3:26 am • 0 0 • view
You really aren't. In your role as a future priest, you will need to be the person who says the word 'death' and conducts the liturgy to help with the steps beyond a chaplain. Knowing the role of a chaplain would be integral to that work and colleague. No one has mentioned being BCC. We aren't...
jul 23, 2025, 3:30 am • 0 0 • view
...even in that realm. We are talking about the skills you could be learning through CPE and how your familiarity with death could help your ministry. This journey is yours. What you choose to do with it is up to you. But deflecting won't help, and I hope you take advantage of your opportunity.
jul 23, 2025, 3:30 am • 0 0 • view
This actually raises a separate, genuine question of mine - why is disagreement with the institution/zeitgeist always seen as “deflecting,” “resisting,” or some other negative term instead of just a disagreement?
jul 23, 2025, 3:33 am • 0 0 • view
Why do you assume that you have disagreed with the instution/zeitgeist?
jul 23, 2025, 3:35 am • 0 0 • view
Because you just told me I was deflecting
jul 23, 2025, 3:36 am • 0 0 • view
Right, we were talking about Death, and how important it is to learn how to be there with people grieving in CPE. I addressed that specifically. You deflected and changed the topic to BCC. Where does the institution/zeitgeist come in? bsky.app/profile/farr...
jul 23, 2025, 3:38 am • 0 0 • view
For instance even my oncologist was reluctant to use the word death and terminal in relation to my cancer which I know you read my bio given you deflectionary commentary on my my pronouns which aren't germane to the conversation except as a way to deflect from from points being made.
jul 23, 2025, 3:33 am • 0 0 • view
Whoa, I genuinely don’t know anything about your pronouns. Which is why I used all the options. I’m really sorry that was your experience with your oncologist, but my comments were not at all mean to be reductionist or snide. I was trying to be all encompassing.
jul 23, 2025, 3:35 am • 1 0 • view
No worries!
jul 23, 2025, 3:49 am • 0 0 • view