necessary. You don't have to phrase things without any concern for how the other person might take what you're saying. It's part of the general nature of how, at least in nations like the US, humans are as a whole when they're neurotypical.
Replies
I think you can be tactful, sympathetic, understanding, without having to scroll through a list in your head of all the possible ways someone MIGHT take your words; the possibilities are endless and that's on the listener. It's very frustrating to say things and someone hears something else.
aug 28, 2025, 6:43 am • 0 0 • view
Well, no, you can't account for everything, but thinking first is important.
aug 28, 2025, 1:29 pm • 0 0 • view
One of my least favourite phrases is; "What did you mean by that?" I meant exactly what I said. Just the words, nothing more. If you thought anything else you made it up yourself. I did think l, and I was being very clear. NTs don't like clear. They speak in riddles and expect you to guess.
aug 28, 2025, 1:34 pm • 0 0 • view
Almost no one speaks or thinks literally that way. That's the problem. That can be a huge problem depending on the situation. It's a default for neurotypical people to couch things in a way that they believe will be as unconfrontational and unproblematic as possible.
aug 28, 2025, 1:46 pm • 0 0 • view
"Almost no one speaks or thinks literally that way." Almost no-one. Seriously? NTs speak in riddles. They say one thing but mean another. They leave out important details and expect you to just know. They hear things that haven't been said, then blame the person who said it for being the problem.
aug 28, 2025, 2:28 pm • 0 0 • view
They "hear things that haven't been said" because there are learned inferences and intentions behind the way certain things are said in a society, usually, that mean certain things. Neurodivergent people don't think that way and the neurotypical person can't guess that you're neurodivergent.
aug 28, 2025, 2:42 pm • 0 0 • view
You can learn these missing bits over time. Neurotypical people don't think or speak literally most of the time the way you would want.
aug 28, 2025, 2:40 pm • 0 0 • view
I guess you like us better when we're masking, then, and would like us to be taught to act more normal? That's coercive control. "Be like me!" We're not wrong, just different.
aug 28, 2025, 2:55 pm • 0 0 • view
have to adapt or remember what the wrong thing to say, or the wrong way to say it, is a problem.
aug 28, 2025, 3:03 pm • 0 0 • view
Who says it's wrong? Why are you making the rules?
aug 28, 2025, 3:15 pm • 0 0 • view
It's wrong when it hurts someone. There's no other way to say it. Intent matters, of course, but it doesn't make it expressly ok.
aug 28, 2025, 7:19 pm • 0 0 • view
It has nothing to do with "liking you better" or "masking". Everyone must at least try to learn how to communicate the same way. If you can't, that's one thing, but refusing just because you don't like it or don't think you should have to is a problem. No, you're not wrong, but expecting to not
aug 28, 2025, 3:03 pm • 0 0 • view
"everyone should be like me"? Why? That's like "everyone should be right handed" Or "everyone should be straight". You must be on a wind up now.
aug 28, 2025, 3:14 pm • 0 0 • view
Communicating the same way for convenience and ease is not "Everyone should be like me."
aug 28, 2025, 7:18 pm • 0 0 • view
ALL THE TIME. And then say it's an ND problem. Whereas we have no problem understanding people who speak clearly, in facts, use details, answer questions AND DON'T INFER THINGS THAT AREN'T THERE. That's the important bit. Why would you do that?
aug 28, 2025, 2:30 pm • 0 0 • view
As I said, it's just a thing in society that you learn as you grow up, since most people don't speak or think literally as you want, that certain things mean certain things when said certain ways. Learning this is important to do.
aug 28, 2025, 2:43 pm • 0 0 • view