everyone in the comments REALLY needs to read the two articles, because this ride is far wilder than the screenshots imply, and tell a different "selfish-asshole" story than "leaves partner because of her cancer". the new yorker: archive.ph/qfuV6 the cut: archive.ph/TVIp8

IT GOT EVEN WORSE

Thanks for the warning, gonna give this one a *miss*

y i k e s

man this is so much worse.

this entire story is absolutely unhinged and is simultaneously both depressing and loathsome, yet somehow not worse than the Jezebel writer/college prof that had affairs with his students and had attempted to murder his girlfriend in a murder-suicide event while struggling with his drug addiction

YES. HUGO FUCKING SCHWYZER. CALLED IT. same personality type, same endless, ENDLESS navel-to-asshole ouroborous. giving them a public platform is like, well, giving drugs to an addict. they should be sent to silent, no-internet-or-mail monasteries for the rest of their lives.

I avoided this article until now and you drop this on me Good lord

As one does

Eat Pray Skedaddle

Every person in the replies should read the article before commenting. The story overall is still really messed up, but (imo) judgement should kept at a minimum when there is the level of addiction that was going on here.

Oh wait, is that why she said “gotten yourself into?”

Yes.

What this excerpt doesn't mention (but the longer article does) is that Gilbert had been enabling the drug use for a while (although IIRC by this point she had stopped?)

Sad all around. I can’t imagine writing like that about someone I loved.

Memoirists only know performative art

"I hear you. And I accept that you're dying ... But,"

Okay, I... I never bothered with the Eat, Pray, Live thing because I kinda figured it was some bullshit to begin with. But this is beyond my wildest imagination. WTAF?

*Love Autocorrect always picks the wrong one.

Speechless. This is a whole kind of person. I’ve brushed against them but luckily have not had to be around them too much. Awful people I know don’t have speeches —they just do awful shit and slink away.

What’s amazing is that she willingly posted this out to the world and expected it to be received well It truly is demonic that she did that

she's beautiful. but she's dying

Should’ve stuck with the triples.

I think this was one of the most reasonable things she said/did in this whole story. You don't actually need to let your drug-addicted partner abuse you because they have a terminal illness.

She has always been basically solipsistic

This was just the inevitable other shoe I am sad for reasons nit related to Gilbert

Good God! Sometimes I wish I could resign from the human race.

"Eat Pray Love" is just three commands and she still couldn't make it all the way to the end, holy shit

Something I never expected about falling in love is that it doubled my anxieties. all the things I worried about for myself, (death, sickness, accidents), I now worry about just as much for someone else also. I can’t imagine leaving my partner like this lady did.

"I hear you" is a loathsome phrase now

I mean seems reasonable enough I guess in light of the rest of the article. The wild part is that she attempted to kill her, a detail only revealed in the book

Newt Gingrich-ass terrible human being over here

I really am upset that I have to say this, but I kind of don't think this is entirely fair to Newt Gingrich

no. look up Hugo Schwyzer instead. or, really, don't. "Don't" is good.

You know, that’s a fair point

Not when you consider he left his first two wives once they got seriously ill

There's so much that I don't understand and it's fine.

I couldn’t read past “Eat” b/c it was set in my country of origin and saw it was all nonsense

“I won’t stick around for what you’ve gotten yourself into,” like she’s joined a gang or something

You haven't actually read the piece huh

you haven’t read the rest of the replies huh

lol okay

FWIW at this point the coke use *was* getting out of hand

…whose coke use? maybe I should read the article because I cannot tell at all if you mean the eat pray love woman, or the other woman, or if you’re shitposting, all three seem equally plausible

You REALLY SHOULD read the article. It doesn't exonerate her in any way (if anything it paints her as someone who's basically a terrifying social chaos agent) but it does give context to what is truly a wild situation

Paywall :/

archive.ph/TVIp8

Gutting.

I read the article (both articles) and yeah I agree the context is really important. Intense story

As someone who has been in a very mutually destructive relationship, I found it relatable (other than the *attempted murder*) even though I also know I can't really believe any of it

I'm also going to say that "I love you and I want to be there for you but I cannot let you take me down with you" is something a lot of people have found themselves having to feel and say to loved ones with serious addiction. Someone I love has said it to me, and she was right to say it.

Oh absolutely but the entire bananas journey Gilbert went on and the incorrigible addict behavior that got her to that moment are just…MY WORD.

The story makes her look very, very, very bad! Not even including the ATTEMPTED MURDER! I'm not defending her at all, I just think it's kind of strange which parts people are picking out as remarkable.

to be fair the murder stuff eventually made it to a "no hard feelings" kind of situation so who are we to judge

important note is that the coke use got out of hand when gilbert started going out and buying a bunch of coke to give rayya!!

oh now it's wrong to get little gifts for your sick wife?

I mean, once someone is dying, does drug use really matter? Apparently, yes, but damn.

Just once I would like someone's coke use to be described as 'restrained'

Possibly Cassie Prichard? She seems pretty moderate about it.

Judicious

Tbh that’s the vast majority of people who do it. ‘I did a couple bumps at a party a year ago’ doesn’t make for a riveting story

It’s not leaving your partner with cancer that makes this S-tier bullshit. It’s the part where she also insists she feels a genuine, supernatural love enough for a thousand lifetimes. That’s the part I can’t bear

Yep. She's way worse than a simply callous person. She's elevated callousness into a kind of religion.

"But... y'know... *inconvenience*. :( :( Byeeeeee!"

It’s not mere inconvenience. I read the article. Her partner had wildly, deeply, catastrophically relapsed into addiction.

damn I wonder who got her the drugs

I feel like it's important to note that gilbert ran headlong into drinking & drug use with her partner, a former addict, when their relationship started, and is the one *actually providing rayya with the drugs* when the relapse becomes catastrophic

Hence my “overall messed up” comment.

W o w I might need to subscribe to the cut just for this Jesus

archive.ph/3bX1V

people've been having good luck accessing it via internet archive, I think. make sure you catch the book review by jia tolentino in the new yorker as well

the archive links aren't working for me but it may be weirdness with my data plan. new yorker link is in this comment, and the cut in the parent post www.reddit.com/r/blogsnark/...

I don’t understand how she isn’t in prison. Like “yeah, I tried to murder my partner by causing an overdose, and I wrote about it” I just Wow

And this is HER version of the story!!!!!!!! HER version!!!!!!!!!!

soooo many people were involved in getting this book to print. I can't understand what any of them were thinking

archive.ph/3bX1V

Also important to note that the drug use didn't start til Rayya insisted she needed it to live her last weeks/months comfortably. Enabling is bad but it's easy to imagine giving in when they're literally dying.

no, they were using weed and hallucinogens (definitely mushrooms, I think something else but I don't have the article up right now) almost immediately when they started their whole "live life to the fullest" thing

just pulled it up to send to a friend - they were using alcohol, weed, psilocybin, ecstasy, xanax, sedatives, and sleeping pills right off the bat.

they were also drinking a lot, which rayya was already doing but gilbert admits knowing that was a red flag/problem for her sobriety. the cocaine comes in after the opioids kick the relapse up to full throttle

"I will unconditionally love you until it doesn't suit me any more"

www.thecut.com/article/eliz...

www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

Shout out to Jia Tolentino for contextualizing Gilbert as a phenomenon, this was a great review

the “i’m sorry i tried to murder you” exchange lmao

Wait the whhhhhaaaat exchange?

Wait what Zomg

important to know that, according to Liz, Rayya thought it was extremely metal that Liz tried to murder her

And that Rayya had been refusing to let Liz sleep, a thing which is considered genuine torture and has known violent mental effects

he is not exaggerating

What a terrible week to know how to read

Ok I stand corrected on both counts I guess

bsky.app/profile/coop...

OH.

😳

bsky.app/profile/bene...

I also want to make it clear that even setting aside the literal attempted murder, basically everything Gilbert did here was fucking awful and I am not defending her one iota. I simply want to make sure people understand that this isn't her dumping her girlfriend for having terminal cancer.

Right. She may be absolutely horrific, but she’s no Newt Gingrich

It's tragic all over but I couldn't help being amused at "setting aside the literal attempted murder."

She sounds dangerous and crazy.

Weird.

Lest we forget the cancer riddled lesbian partner was also fucking insane.

Kinda glad the site's telling me I've hit my article limit even though I haven't visited it in months, tbh.

I don't ever remember visiting "The Cut", so yeah I think they are just looking out for my sanity.

That applies to all of NY Mag. Or maybe it's just anything on the Vulture part of the NY Mag site, which The Cut is part of, whatever.

Eat Pray Leave

AHHHHHHHHH

That’s bleak

I truly, *truly* hope this is an awful exercise in creative writing and not an actual thing she said

it sounds like ChatGPT wrote it tbh

So basically she's the female version if Stanley Tucci

What in living hell is this

I came into this thread revolted by the excerpt but reading the actual article gave me a lot more sympathy for everyone involved. Complicated and shitty situation.

Good lord!

The way it is stated is awful, but I think neither of them are in their right mind. The proper response would be an ultimatum for rehab.

It is very common for people with terminal illness to become addicted to narcotics and become completely unlike themselves. The people around them have no clue how do deal with this. This is why we NEED active mental health treatment for everyone involved as part of terminal illness care.

The cut has really published some insane stuff recently and insta keeps feeding it to me.

Gross. There is a whole cult of these narcissistic, self-oppressive, mid-life crisis cult women, who also have books and podcasts and marketing deals.

yeh but to be fair do all of them nearly murder their drug addicted, cancer-riddled partner? you have to admire the dedication to the bit.

wwwwwhhhhhaaaaatttttt the fuck

Gingrich'd her.

Hoooooo leeeeeee fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I can’t imagine this at all, absolutely bewildering. 😮

Wow. I cannot imagine saying this.

I can’t imagine letting anyone on earth know I said it, let alone publish those words in exchange for money.

It was clear in the Eat Pray Love book that she was sociopathic. She made millions encouraging women to abandon their responsibilities, serious ones like partners and children, for pretty hollow “spiritual journeys”.

It’s weird that thing was so huge. I never read it, but it’s clear that she’s an asshole. People have no bullshit detector, I guess.

In order to be a memoirist you must be chronically up your own ass. Hence Thomas Chatterbox Failson.

I HEAR YOU- IF THE REAL RAYYA WERE HERE- WAS SHE TRYING TO CRINGE HER TO GOOD HEALTH ?????

I figured this woman was an utter narcissist, but holy crap!

Wait, what did she do to bring about this boundary setting?

Got so deep into drug addiction that she became an abusive partner While, also, being terminally ill It sounds like an incredibly fucked up situation all around

hang on what the actual fucking fuck fuck

I was about to post almost identical.

Wow you just saw this. I have been where you guys are now like six short hours ago. I was a different person then. Anyway strap in fuckos, going on a Journey.

Is there a reason I should dig in to this story? Thinking not, but change my mind

Oh most people on this website love this kind of thing so probably, yeah! Just bizarre confessional drama. But some regular people are out off by it. So caution, I guess.

Whether you want to believe Gilbert or not, I do think that it's relevant context that immediately before this Rayya had to shoot up in order to be able to have a conversation. I think people are reading this as her dumping her for having cancer

Needing a shitload of opiates to even have a conversation is, in fact, a big part of the terminal cancer experience, to the point that I think you stop being classified “venomous junkie” while dying of cancer even if the shoe fit beforehand.

cocaine is not typically prescribed for cancer pain, and is what she was shooting up

Maybe an upper would have meant I could have had more lucid time with my dad as the cancer ate him alive? I really don’t care what terminal cancer patients get up to as long as it’s not, like, murder.

Lol these people absolutely stigmatize addiction. They’re dunking on the author’s…dead partner who suffered from both cancer and addiction. That white woman solidarity is one HELL of a drug lmao. I personally think murder is bad even if ur partner is a coke addict, regardless of them having cancer

The way that it was coke and not junk (despite her being a venomous junkie) did catch me by surprise because I’m not paying to read all that.

If you post any article URLs into Archive.ph, you can almost always load the full thing and read it for free. I recommend using it now bc they’ll probably get shut down eventually. Obviously pay for any pubs you want to support but i use archives for NYT bc i hate them

Please do not accuse me of something that I am very much not doing, would not do, and (as a chronically ill, recovering addict myself) would be directly harming myself to do bsky.app/profile/bene...

I don’t know that it was directed at you so much as the “surprise! what if it was cocaine?!” reply, which has actually sent me into a pretty gross spiral myself. Jesus Christ, it’s terminal cancer.

Yo i apologize for wording my post too broadly, I was directly responding to Kit Sparks who was definitely suggesting that a cancer patient partner who would also shoot cocaine is deserving of abandonment/murder. But you were just adding relevant context when there is a lot going on in that story

completely decontextualized

She also wrote that Rayya was having a really hard time sleeping due to pain and had been making sure that Liz was awake whenever she was awake, which is really hard to cope with in any circumstance. I would have tried to murder her a little bit too, tbh.

Sleep deprivation can be literal torture, so going off the deep end is very human. Bad, but human

Lmao why are both of you rationalizing a literal ATTEMPTED murder?? Deeply psychotic behavior ya’ll

I mean, Rayya thought the attempted murder was fucking awesome. That relationship was mutually fucked, and y'all are looking for reasons to hang your judgment on one person.

Attempted murder is bad! Sometimes human beings do bad things in the midst of situations that involve high stress, heightened emotions, physical and mental dysregulation, drugs and fear. Sorry I have sympathy for someone in an abusive codependent relationship with a dying woman jfc

Lmfaooooooo i am also sorry that you have sympathy for someone who is so narcissistic and sociopathic that they attempted to murder their partner in their sleep! You’re rationalizing murder and i firmly believe that is wrong. Also idc if Raya thought her murder was cool, that doesnt justify anything

And sure, you can accuse me of hanging my judgement on one person who tried to murder her partner. Yes i will hang judgement on the murderer and not the victim. What the fuck is wrong with you? U sound like a scary person to share any community with

sure. anyway, I don't judge people in abusive relationships that involve cocaine, hallucinogens, and literally being tortured by their partner for doing something fucked up. You sound unsafe for marginalized people to "share community" with tho

Gilbert didn't murder her partner, her partner died of cancer. She DID have a mental episode after months of drugs and apparent abuse, and did something that a number of other abused people in fucked up and intensely toxic situations have done. But sure blame an abused woman 🤷

there is nobody in this situation who comes off as a reasonable or ethical person

You’re right, that was my first interpretation, but with this context: DAMN

as it turns out "dying from cancer" and "drug addiction" and "dating a terrible person" are not mutually exclusive

Ok but Rayya had substance abuse issues *before* they got together/before the cancer dx. And they were abusing substances *together* for most of their relationship, so her judgment of Rayya’s “lifestyle” is honestly BS. Gilbert is the worst type of person.

bsky.app/profile/bene...

I guess my point is that she kind of did dump her because she had cancer — because she had no problem with the drug use prior to the cancer dx and was her supplier/enabler the whole time, but left when the cancer got in the way of the fun, party atmosphere.

The part where she started supplying Rayya with drugs all happened after the diagnosis, according to the story as written. The relationship described started as a direct response to the diagnosis.

The sexual relationship, sure. But she had pursued an unhealthy “friendship” with her for a long time before that and was aware of Rayya’s struggles with addiction. Post-dx, she became her supplier and worsened the issue. 1/

It wasn’t until Rayya’s cancer & addiction worsened to the point where it was no longer fun for Gilbert that she ended it. From my reading of the details, it sounds like she used Rayya. /2

Yes, I agree with this, although I don't know anything about their relationship before the diagnosis, I haven't read the book.

I just want to make real clear that the reason I posted what I did above was because a lot of people were replying to the excerpt thinking that that "the way you're living" was referring to "having cancer"

Oh yeah, for sure, I think that distinction needed to be made.

The thing I believe you can very accurately condemn her for (aside from *attempted murder*), based on her own words, is that she dumped and abandoned her for not dying fast enough. To be honest, I think that's a lot more morally repugnant than the other.

Yeah, I agree with you to an extent, although I really think it’s all equally bad. Gilbert just seems like a supremely selfish person who only wants to be with other people as long as they are making her happy.

The sad thing is that the closest thing to a morally coherent thing she did was to break off the relationship. She did it in the worst possible way and after doing a mind-boggling amount of damage, but that was the faintest glimmer of maybe making a right decision.

That’s true, and it is sad.

Eat (and drink damnation) Pray (that hell isn't eternal) Love (wickedness)

Wow, I haven't been this angry in a long time.

"I hear you" kill therapy speak forever.

The woman who pitched her "spiritual reawakening" as a book project is shitty and self-involved? Do tell.