Five years since someone called Cod Liver Bob told me off for being so unserious about this giant tortoise loving to eff.
Replies
Dangerous work, but someone had to do it
aug 26, 2025, 6:51 am • 0 0 • view
I like the idea that the turtle was like, I'm not into this AT ALL I am just out here doing my best to save the species. This is important to me. Extinction is not an option.
aug 26, 2025, 11:09 am • 1 0 • view
Diego: "I don't care about my species. I just want sex! Don't contact me for child support."
aug 26, 2025, 6:49 am • 4 0 • view
🤣🤣🤣
aug 26, 2025, 7:38 am • 0 0 • view
But also: you were correct. It's not like Diego knows his species was going exctinct.
aug 26, 2025, 7:19 am • 0 0 • view
Lad just wanted to get his end away
aug 26, 2025, 7:29 am • 0 0 • view
I’ll be honest, I’m not convinced Diego was actually aware his species was going extinct and that he needed to have sex non-stop.
aug 26, 2025, 7:07 am • 19 0 • view
I'm not sure I'd be able to perform that well if a concerned keeper was telling me how important it was for me to keep shagging.
aug 26, 2025, 7:29 am • 7 0 • view
Brb just setting up a pornhub niche channel.
aug 26, 2025, 7:30 am • 6 0 • view
If you accept a little half-beat, his title fits the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
aug 26, 2025, 7:01 am • 2 0 • view
🎶 Diego, the sex-mad tortoise, Saved his species singly...🎶
aug 26, 2025, 7:04 am • 4 0 • view
Diego, long may he reign
aug 26, 2025, 10:50 am • 1 0 • view
in my opinion there is no difference in fact
aug 26, 2025, 10:23 am • 1 0 • view
Although the two motivations are not mutually exclusive
aug 26, 2025, 6:31 pm • 0 0 • view
That name seems like something you’d read in the paper like “cod liver bob strikes again”
aug 26, 2025, 10:24 am • 8 0 • view
There is always a "Bob". Just cannot shut the fuck up.
aug 26, 2025, 6:55 am • 0 0 • view
Bob liver oil would have been a funnier name, too
aug 26, 2025, 10:38 am • 2 0 • view
"Single handedly" being sex mad doesn't lead to reproduction. I'm a biologist, trust me on this.
aug 26, 2025, 7:30 am • 1 0 • view
Tortoise got shooters
aug 26, 2025, 12:31 pm • 0 0 • view
I celebrate every year.
aug 26, 2025, 7:59 am • 0 0 • view
Tell that to the kakapo! This flightless NewZealand bird has been hovering on the brink of extinction for years. Part of the efforts of the scientists trying to save them is artificial insemination, since they seem oblivious to sex. This turtle should give them lessons. HaHa
aug 26, 2025, 7:29 am • 0 0 • view
If I were Bob, I'd have gone with a "single-handed" joke instead...
aug 26, 2025, 6:45 am • 2 0 • view
Quite apart from everything else, Bob was just plain wrong. There is not a massive difference between being sex mad and doing your best to stop your species dying out, since they are not mutually exclusive and even if they were the observable outcome would be identical in either case. Furthermore th
aug 26, 2025, 6:55 am • 11 0 • view
the two aren’t mutually exclusive, bob
aug 26, 2025, 10:30 am • 0 0 • view
Now if only giant pandas had a Diego …..
aug 26, 2025, 7:12 am • 0 0 • view
The Sweetchunks band did a song about Diego and it’s very unserious with rude words so Cod Liver Bob would hate that
aug 26, 2025, 6:47 am • 3 0 • view
Does he think a tortoise is aware of the status of their species? Because it's far more likely he's just a randy git who likes getting his end away, and all power to him.
aug 26, 2025, 8:33 am • 0 0 • view
Bob went on to host an incredibly successful YouTube channel on how to be a humourless nob on social media that eventually led to the creation of a dedicated platform called "Bluesky".
aug 26, 2025, 7:28 am • 0 0 • view
it was a whole big controversy when they trained him to understand the concept of species extinction
aug 26, 2025, 10:23 am • 1 0 • view
Brb, just writing a poem to rhyme "tortoise" with "coitus"
aug 26, 2025, 6:42 am • 10 0 • view
Eminem would.
aug 26, 2025, 12:41 pm • 0 0 • view
He is right, though. There is indeed a difference. A big difference That difference being, among other things, having a concept of what a species is. Diego has no clue about taxonomy or eradication. He saunters up, saying "I've come to eat lettuce and fuck. And I'm all out of lettuce".
aug 26, 2025, 8:17 am • 1 0 • view
I love the idea that Diego was well aware that his species was endangered and was stoically doing what he had to.
aug 26, 2025, 6:44 am • 81 0 • view
TBF equally funny to think of a sex mad tortoise (presumably by tortoise standards), just being a sleazeball and having the tortoise equivalent of slick back hair and a hairy chest out.
aug 26, 2025, 6:51 am • 20 0 • view
None of his giant tortoise friends have replied to his emails for months. Giant tortoise social media is a wasteland. *deep tortoise sigh* "Well, I guess it's time to start fucking."
aug 26, 2025, 7:12 am • 3 0 • view
Close your eyes and think of Galápagos, Diego.
aug 26, 2025, 5:58 pm • 0 0 • view
...Does Bob think that the tortoise is somehow aware his species is nearly extinct?
aug 26, 2025, 8:18 am • 0 0 • view
oh my God
aug 26, 2025, 10:00 am • 3 0 • view
Even its head and neck looks like a magnificent big penis.
aug 26, 2025, 6:43 am • 4 0 • view
Look sometimes a lady loves to fuck. Put him in, like, a ball pit with 4 ladies and see what happens. Record it
aug 26, 2025, 5:07 pm • 0 0 • view
I’ll be real I don’t think the tortoise knows his species is dying out
aug 26, 2025, 10:35 am • 1 0 • view
tortoise logged on just to tell you off.
aug 26, 2025, 7:20 am • 12 1 • view
"Single-handedly" makes it sound like Elon tossing off in a cup.
aug 26, 2025, 5:31 pm • 1 0 • view
I’m curious as to what else Cod Liver Bob expected a tortoise to do to ensure the continuation of its species other than fuck whenever the opportunity presented itself. Activities like habitat restoration aren’t really possible when you’re a tortoise up against humans.
aug 26, 2025, 6:46 am • 2 0 • view