Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
please proofread
"Comedian". DOOM in @bbcdoctorwho. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social Acting: The Foundry Management VO: The Joneses For all enquiries and brand partnerships – info@gagreflex.co.uk she/her www.soozkempner.co.uk/gigs
52,667 followers 672 following 14,982 posts
view profile on Bluesky Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
please proofread
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
That's the exact opposite.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
yeah it's rn
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
hahahahaha
The Author, Séamas O'Reilly (@seamas.bsky.social) reposted
At a time when pensioners are being arrested every single week for protesting a genocide, it's good to see Starmer stand up to his own police force when they come for a guy who's merely told his 500k followers to physically attack any trans woman they see in a female bathroom.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
He may be alive but that ski goggles concealer look is dead as hell baby.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Arrested AGAIN.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
I like the bit where he blames trans activists for him NEARLY DYING.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
The White House aides currently running around panicking like that Succession episode when Logan had lost his mind and they had to get him on stage for the shareholders. Vance helping him piss etc.
Jack (@jackinpogform.bsky.social) reposted
There is literally no benefit in throwing your lot in with Glinner. No one likes Glinner, there are even terfs that don't like Glinner. Glinner's kids don't like Glinner. Starmer has the political instincts of a deck chair.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
SHE ACKNOWLEDGED HIM! JOANNE ACKNOWLEDGED AR GRAHAM! He will fall asleep happy tonight for the first time since 2016.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
"Things have changed a lot in a decade...I'm sure if you looked up your social media posts from more than ten years ago you probably wrote things you are less than proud of in hindsight" Er...yeah...yeah, sure.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Chalky white dog poo ET mf always fckn late.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
People are so weird, do they walk down the street just biting their fist every time they see a woman!?
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Guys, @annakempner.bsky.social just found out that her favourite brand, Mint Velvet (I call it Today's Kaleidoscope iykyk), is all over Vinted for three quid and, honestly, if you were hoping to get some cheap Mint Velvet stuff get it NOW coz she will buy EVERYTHING.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Patrick Spelman (@flippflop.bsky.social) reposted
Just thinking that @soozuk.bsky.social's Eastenders recap this year is going to be amazing.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
And only three and a half months away!
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
what the fuck is wrong with you
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
In less than one hour Donald J Trump El President of the good ol' US of States will announce that he has an exploded ruined anus and nasty nasty balls.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
"start"
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
✨ANNOUNCEMENT KLAXON✨ Sooz Kempner is Ugly is getting a mini tour for 2026. Dates from January through to May and GOOD NEWS, looks like I'll finally get a Wales date! I didn't think I'd tour again after last year but my lovely agents have done me proud. Full dates coming sooooon...
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Well yeah, I've read the things.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Hi it's me Grok yes it's true his arsehole was a mess.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
🚨BREAKING🚨The White House has revealed that the reason Trump went to Walter Reed Hospital was because his arsehole exploded and poop flew everywhere and it hit him in the face and he got his poop all over his face and in his mouth and he said "MY ANUS MY ANUS" and that's what happened.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
I think wins like this, Mamdani's win and the increased popularity in progressive politics DESPITE the establishment kicking us in the lunch whenever we say anything are very, very good news.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Wow! @zackpolanski.bsky.social winning 84% of the vote is amazing, obviously, what a buoying moment, that a pro-trans, pro-Palestine, unashamedly socialist leader can not only win a leadership election but ALSO can cut through and be covered by our mainstream news channels.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
It’s almost as if a message of “the EU isn’t perfect but we’re better off in than out” would have really helped Remain’s cause in June 2016.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Hahahaha I was squinting at your reply like I was drunk trying to pick a chippy tea from the board, of course! That damned song…
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Weird reply
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Who cares, being in the EU won’t magically fix a fucking thing.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
They’re talking like Farage is PM already which, when you look at Labour’s actions and rhetoric, they largely may as well be.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
British dentistry, despite huge cuts, remains the best in the world. We genuinely have the healthiest teeth in the world.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Also true.
Simon Cox (@simonfrcox.bsky.social) reposted
From 2000 it was bi-partisan policy to “disperse” asylum-seekers to self-catering accommodation, not hotels. In 2020 Govt made billion£ contracts with private biz to supply these homes. They are 200,000+ empty homes in U.K. The failure is unexplained.
Zoe Gardner (@zoejardiniere.bsky.social) reposted
Another day, yet ANOTHER stupid, pointless announcement on immigration from this stupid pointless government. Today: you are a student - we're going to write you a stern letter about how you better not be thinking of staying! Insanity. Racist, cowardly, insanity. #r4today
Adam Bienkov (@adambienkov.bsky.social) reposted
Are you young, highly educated and driven, and want to contribute to our stagnant economy with its aging population and low productivity? Well out you go
Atrios (@eschatonblog.com) reposted reply parent
all the responses to keith's belated 'bad to use flags to divide us' tweet are like 'fuck you pedo, that is what they are for'
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
hmmmm what that one could have been alluding to
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
🚨BREAKING🚨Tonight live on BBC1 at 7.25pm (just before EastEnders) Sir Keir Starmer will felate a flag in front of a photo of the queen (proper one, not the alive one) while a Chas & Dave album plays.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Hahaha thanks Chris, cheers, just did a whole show in Edinburgh that was basically....this. So it's nice when people got it.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
"Offended by flags ha ha ha" The problem isn't the flags. People put flags up when the St George's Day fete happens in my town. They go up when there's a Euros or World Cup on. You'll see them when it's a big V.E Day, Remembrance Day etc. Nobody gives a shit. This is a bit different I reckon.
Aidan Comerford (@aidancomerford.bsky.social) reposted
"I hope you see justice one day." Bookmark this.
James Felton (@jimmfelton.bsky.social) reposted
Though previous interventions by historical figures against the far right during dangerous moments in history had been staunch, all were surpassed by the “I like flags” tweet
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
You can really dunk on someone saying something extremely bad in a far more interesting and far less spiteful way than leaping straight to "you're a cunt who should die" and I wish some of my followers knew that.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
The memes will fly! The theories will rage! The death clock will continue apace! Gonna be a great evening.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
At 2pm America time on the nearby coast the 5 hours ahead one that gives you jet lag but not the kind that makes you hallucinate a certain Mr Donald J President Trump will be making an extremely banal and inconsequential announcement BUT he will do it looking like chalky white dog poo ET.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
ok?
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
"I got banned from Twitter for telling [name of rightwing arsehole] that he was a cunt who should die in a fire 😊" well...good, I'm glad that got you banned, nobody should say that shit to anyone.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
When I see someone reply "fuck yourself you stupid cunt" to anyone online I tend to block them. It doesn't have to be at me or even at anyone I like. I just probably don't need someone like that on my radar.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reposted
Free speech activist Mr Feast celebrates Great British flags:
leon (@leyawn.bsky.social) reposted
i met anubis in the realm of the underworld, big strong guy by the way, had a dog’s head, i’m not so sure about that. and he said to me, mr president, you’ve got the heaviest soul we’ve ever weighed down here. can you believe it? they’ve never seen a soul that heavy in all of duat
Yell In a War (@jelenawoehr.bsky.social) reposted
or, hear me out here, we could NOT frame it as normal to illegally utilize the military for civilian law enforcement
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
'I am alive"
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
idc
Paul Hurt (@paulhurt.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
“I’m a supporter of flags” “How do you support them then?” “Just… generally.”
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
omg did Rudy Giuliani kill Trump in that car crash, dress him up in his Rudy clothes and steal his phone and now Rudy is swanning around the White House just Truthing and waving and the US government is wondering why things seem a little off?
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Trump's been increasingly looking like one of those things from the beginning of The Fifth Element and we're supposed to believe everything's fine, come on.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
It's a traffic cone. They're throwing it to Bill Carr, 10 King Road, Ipswich.
Martin O'Leary (@strangetea.bsky.social) reposted
Interesting that these people think agreeing with the "legitimate concerns" of a small rabble of flag wearing psychopaths have against the existence of non white people in this country is not an indicator of racism at the highest levels of the Labour Party is one hell of a take to have.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
His reply is far-right.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Because it isn’t the fucking kid’s faults is it, Alan. Fucking ghoulish reply.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Because they hate immigrants and trans women.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Wow maybe Labour should stop demonising minorities and people would pay more attention to a mildly helpful policy for parents of young children.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
On Sunday 7th September I'm taking to the stage at the RVT @ 5.45pm with a BEAST of setlist and a magnificent new outfit. After me there's a full show from Drag With No Name and you get both for just a tenner. www.outsavvy.com/event/29520/...
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Well, they’re less so.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Free speech activist Mr Feast celebrates Great British flags:
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Not going to apologise and admit you were wrong to say that British Asians aren't actually British?
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
I have an NHS dentist.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
I don't think you mean Remain. But Remainiacs ARE fucking irritating.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Keir Starmer was on 5Live with Matt Chorley earlier and said he has a St George's Cross in his flat and then he said "I'm a supporter of flags" hahahahahaha. Imagine that in Alan Partridge's voice. Exactly, you can't, Partridge would never be that saa-aa-aaaad.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
I heard this too (just now from you), will spread the word!
Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken.bsky.social) reposted
More and more people are saying President Trump had a stroke this weekend
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
The peanut butter, unless you get posh whole food stuff, is packed with icing sugar! Not just "added sugar", it's SWEET, it tastes like a topping, NO!
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
I've read a lot of replies and quotes of this and spotted precisely ONE person defending it. One. "This is only to reduce the backlog, then they'll be allowed in". I don't believe that's a good enough defence. Particularly as it's almost certainly untrue.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
It's also fine to have teeth that aren't perfectly white and straight. This guy is not only saying British Asians aren't British, he's also saying that to not meet incredibly narrow beauty standards is one of the worst things that can happen.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Apology accepted.
Dr Mark | 北马克 |🍉🇦🇺🇲🇾🇹🇭 (@ajaanmark.bsky.social) reposted
This may be the most awesome thread ever!
Billionaires are parasites (@lamentablyawake.bsky.social) reposted
This kind of reflexive nationalism just doesn't help anyone. While access to NHS dentistry is sadly declining for British people dental care in the UK is still drastically better overall than it is for Americans. And that sucks. Poor people in America, or anywhere, suffering is really bad.
Charlie Phillips (@charliechar.bsky.social) reposted
Don’t ignore that the bbc asked a racist question here
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
No that isn't how this works.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Plenty of people said this was their intended path and were told to eat shit and stop being so bitter but it turned out we were just....right.
Hari Kunzru (@harikunzru.bsky.social) reposted
It is insane to me that the richest man in the world is using his global megaphone to call for millions of British people to be rounded up and deported (including my family) and somehow this isn’t even news.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
When some climate change protesters threw orange powder on some ancient rocks Starmer was quick to condemn them and say they should receive "the full force of the law".
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
Haemorrhaging support every day, wrecking what would have quite an easy nice legacy, making the lives of minorities actively worse and making sure I feel anxious and depressed all the time....Sir Keir has played a blinder again!
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
As your lawyer I commend this continued crashout, Bill. Congrats on learning TWO insane tropes, keep posting, I believe in you x
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
I had to go from Twitter coz I got either zero people seeing my posts OR they did numbers and for some reason I got absolutely flooded with hate, real nasty stuff which talked about personal details from my life. Account's still there but they managed to hound me out.
lauren (@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com) reposted
i don't really mind the "bluesky is dying because people are mean to me" posts because i remember the alternative, which was "twitter is dying because people are mean to me" op eds in the new york times
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Yeah I feel the same way, I go with my mum and our friend Jo for a meal once a week in Jo's town and we used to go to a variety of places but everywhere except Wetherspoons has become just-a-treat-these-days expensive.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social)
WHOA! I never did my Pope Vibe for the new pope! Read and then enjoy the rest of this megathread. Pope Leo XIV was a substitute teacher at your primary school and everyone LOVED it when he was in coz he'd draw animals you requested on the blackboard in a cartoon style and he was SO good at it.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
His company was asked its toilet policy and the toilet policy was "we don't like losing customers coz customers make us money".
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Hahaha yeah I fully believe his main driving force is: money. Fundamentally disagree with him on Brexit but his main driving force with that was also: money. I don't like people who have money as their driving force but I'll take it over: hating minorities 24/7.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
I like the ones that are built in 1930s cinemas. "IT SHOULD STILL BE A CINEMA!" Maybe but a disused cinema is better as a cool pub than as a disused building for another decade.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Yeah it's not a redemption arc I ever saw coming.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
Bill, this is your lawyer, I'm insisting you keep posting through it.
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
It's a shame coz I loved him in Galaxy Quest.
Marcus 🏳️🌈🇧🇧 (@marcusjdl.bsky.social) reposted
It’s not like this government has a few transphobes - it is institutionally transphobic to its core, being on the board of a transphobic hate group will help you get a senior role
Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) reply parent
"idc piss wherever just lock the door" sums up the majority of people's feelings on the "issue".