Decided to do Couch to 40k. Day 1 you're on the couch, and at the end your mind is trapped in a dead, decaying body sitting on a golden throne, unable to communicate, as all of humanity is encompassed in a fascist empire that is ironically doing everything you tried to prevent in order to save them.
This is the process of listening to a current political podcast
@hazelmonforton.com what day are you on now?
Still on Couch. The Drukhari turned me into one.
Oh god does JD Vance have a Drukhari army
Oh god why have you made this joke
It was in my brain and I had to make it everyone else's problem
evil
Just like the Drukhari
I only got to week 8, so I never got the golden throne.
Ah just your closest friend betraying you, huh
Correction: That's Couch to 401k.
ahh fuck that's so much better
I couldn't have done it without you
(extra nerdy bit: I loved the Star Child mythology - the idea that if the Imperium just let the Emperor die he'd be reborn as someone who would save them from Chaos, but they never will - and I'm delighted it's been brought back, even just in hints)
The idea that he needs to die and be reborn to save Terra, but if he dies Vulkan's dead man switch goes off and blows the planet up to save it from Chaos is a delicious irony.
All the Realm of Chaos stuff was a giggle. I also liked the adjacent Emperor's actual children hanging around in watchtowers, thinking there would be a final battle against chaos, when their bosses were just going to wait until the emperor cracked and then they'll be fed to him. Imagine their faces.
The Emperor as a nascent god of human for capital O Order, along side the Adeptus Mechanicus' finally manifested Machine Spirit and the Votann ancestral intelligence cores ascending to godhod to counterbalance Chaos is where GW will never go whilst there's money to be made in a grinding stalemate.
This guy Heresy's
The throne is, ironically, the same couch you started on.
I've got a great personal coach for that. Named Einsenhorn.
😂 Jamie.
Blame @andraswf.bsky.social for reminding me about this
I'm not sorry