What do you say to someone after a stillbirth? The moms at the center of “Before a Breath,” ProPublica’s new documentary about the U.S. stillbirth crisis, share what was helpful — and hurtful — in the wake of their loss: propub.li/42nApGH
Replies
Good grief, how about just saying, "I'm so sorry for your loss," just as you would for any death in a family.
mar 25, 2025, 10:47 pm • 1 0 • view
BTDT Very first word of advice for loved ones: Say the baby's name, every time. It's not only OK but necessary for healing. Say their name!
mar 25, 2025, 10:40 pm • 6 0 • view
I didn’t have a stillborn, Nita child born prematurely at 23 1/2 weeks, before surfactant. Died 18 hours later. Hurtful after she me said, oh don’t worry, you can have another. This after 2 early miscarriages. He wasn’t a goldfish.
mar 25, 2025, 11:48 pm • 2 0 • view
Honestly today my first thought would be Glad you didn't die But I wouldn't say it
mar 25, 2025, 11:02 pm • 0 0 • view
Your baby was loved and wanted. The world they would’ve been born into wasn’t ready for the joy and blessings that would’ve been.
mar 26, 2025, 12:01 am • 1 0 • view
When I lost a pregnancy, a friend rang our doorbell and offered to my husband a single flower in a bud vase. I have always remembered this offering of love even when, of course, there are no words
mar 25, 2025, 10:52 pm • 7 0 • view
Oh, this made me cry. What a great PSA.
mar 25, 2025, 10:43 pm • 3 0 • view
My daughter was stillborn 30 years ago. It's still painful to think about. I think the worst thing that someone said to me was "God needed her more than I did." I will say, no one ever said something with the intent to be hurtful; they just didn't know what to say. And I agree - there are no words.
mar 25, 2025, 10:39 pm • 9 0 • view
You say, "I'm so terribly sorry. This will never be easy. You'll always ask how and why and never have an answer that's acceptable. People won't mention your child because they're afraid of offending you, be sure to speak their name.You'll have good days and bad days and you'll never be the same."
mar 25, 2025, 10:43 pm • 3 0 • view
Heartbreaking
mar 25, 2025, 10:37 pm • 1 0 • view
JFC, the ppl that say this shit. Try "I am so sorry for your inconceivable loss." "Is there anything I can do to support you right now?" "I'm here for you." It's really not that hard.
mar 25, 2025, 10:41 pm • 2 0 • view
Don’t say. “God needed an angel.” Say. I’m so sorry 😞 and ask them their name as them to tell you about their child. What color hair? Who did she look like.
mar 25, 2025, 10:38 pm • 6 0 • view