I think it will be funnier if it happens on Halloween 🎃

At this point it feels like edging, each health scare that he bounces back from doesn't disappoint me, it just makes me even more excited, knowing the time is near. And when it finally happens I'm gonna paint the fuckin ceiling!

Paul, you are a tremendous artist and by all accounts a wonderful man and so I, a Spirit of Christmas, have been given permission to tell you and only you that this is real and it is going to happen

#DeadDon

knew I should’ve picked up more supplies for the weekend

I already had a sixer in the fridge, but I grabbed a 12-pack tonight anyway.

The friends we made along the way.

[P] "Youse gunna gow downna Vet Staydeuhm bufowr theh Iggles game ta spekyoulayt about theh Prezdent's helf?"

Oh whew you’re here too

🤣🤣🤣

We're gonna need a bigger tailgate

I know that's right! 😆

Bridal shower.

Putting off sleep in nine minute increments.

🤞🏻🤞🏻

“Donald Trump has effectively gone dark with no public appearances all weekend. “In other news, Melania was buying tons of tons of champagne and cocktail dresses.”

And you know hes going to hear about this and be hurt

Trump might not see this post but your friends who also ushered in a new wave of corporate fascism, stifled the rights of minorities and sent the economy into nosedive will 😔

A preseason game that could at any moment become the Super Bowl

I’m thinking out how I’ll touch base with folks — some by texts, some weirdos by a call. It’s good to have a plan in place when the need arises. (Dear god let the need arise soon, kthxbye)

What a night to hop on the Internet because I couldn't sleep.

pizzagate

It's little shindigs like this that remind you social media can be fun once in a while.

A fun way to kick off a holiday weekend!

Let me tell you about someone else I know who died on the Friday before a holiday weekend

USSRFKJRs Uncle

We put the hearse in rehearsal, baby.

I’m impatient, Paul.

Grab a brat!

It'll make Kissinger's death night celebration on here look like a sombre reflection and the triumph of collective decorum of not speaking ill of the dead.

Come on trump pass so I can too

pre-wake for the anti-woke

Cheers either way. It's good to remember what it's like for everyone to be on the same wavelength once in a while

I could really use a win right now.

your philadelphian heart can feel it

Never seen a soft launch for a death before

Oh, we had plenty of practice at that towards the end of Queen Elizabeth’s reign…

There's a first time for everything! 😆

Maybe we can just ignore him-if he speaks we treat it like a haunting. We act as if, until.

I can’t believe we made it to the postseason this year. Yeah, what if it happens? So many jerseys. So many

I volunteer to throw myself through a flaming folding table.

Preparing the crab rave gif for whenever the party starts 🦀

You people are absolute gems.

just like working out the material on the road

I've been at work. What did I miss? What is ghoulscrolling?

Collective joy, collective delusion, at least we're all meeting new people.

It's a big ol internet block party.

The most appropriate song for Trump's arrest would be Yakety Sax, but what about the funeral?

One clogged heartbeat away from the presidency sleeps PeterThiel, reports Gawker

Get to play “Ding Dong The (guy who said he moved on a woman like a bitch) Is Dead”.

Wasting a lot of good jokes, though. I will take a very dim view of reruns

It will be like this... only with fireworks and fanfare and strippers...

getting all the sillies out so we're rested and ready for The Big Day

I stand with the Trans Community. For Trans Rights are and will always be Human Rights. Everyone who reads this, take the best of care.

I might believe it if these guys were seen near the White House.

I love you so much

I’m fixated on the idea of Vance’s first Oval Office address starting with the words “Okay, so”

"Well that just happened."

“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

🤣🤣🤣 ☠️

I dislike the idea of taxidermied animatronic Trump (powered by ChatGPT).

I am jumping ahead to the parade, might stock up on Cheetos to fling instead of confetti

For anyone who wasn't there, this was the magic of those first five or six hours of covfefe, where we legitimately did not know if the president had gone out midtweet with a stroke and were letting our hopes run high

🙏🙏🙏🤞🤞🤞

I need to go to the liquor store/fireworks store/smoke shop (that’s all one store here in Missouri) before the main event starts.

Just how awful of a person do you have to be to for the entire internet to be giddy at just the mere prospect of your death

You remember that scene in Albert Finney's Scrooge? Thankyaverymuch, thankyaverymuch....

pregaming

As if we could be so lucky...

🎶 I don’t wanna wait… for his life to be oveeeeeer… 🎶

we’re just having a little scrimmage

It was a helpful training exercise. I started drawing up travel plans to the places spontaneous block parties might occur.

Cheers!

Also JD Vance is here for some reason.

Champagne has been chilling since 2016. I'm going to go buy some fireworks this weekend.

Pregame baby!

Practice makes perfect!

just a little pregaming

I was just thinking this might an absolute fuck of a Labor Day. 3000 zero zero party over oops out of time. I hope this weekend we can party like it's 2999.

One thing you can say about us Americans..... we love grillin'.

The champagne is already on ice. 🤷🏿

Seeing fireworks in Lincoln Heights celebrating something stand by

I feel the same way, Paul F Tompkins.