This is not a post for sympathy, I’m genuinely curious about how people see themselves. Lately I don’t like anything about myself. I’m too fat, too thick, too ugly, too rubbish at everything. Does anyone else feel like this or have moments when they feel like this?
Sounds a bit glib but I see myself as doing ok; I try to be conscious of the privileges that set me up to have an easier time than a lot of people do and while I could always lose a bit of weight, eat more healthily and so on, none of that bothers me enough to do anything about it. I'm lucky enough.
Actually that’s a lovely way of looking at it! 😊
Oh my god Sukie, 💯 most of the time lately! I know I’m literally just a pointless human being most of the time - so you’re doing far better than me 🤗
Evening David You’re not! I think judging from the comments today, most people have felt like this. Which has made me feel better about myself. Realising that it’s perfectly normal. 🤗
It helps to know other people feel this way. I don’t know about you, but I look at the people around me and just think they seem so much more sorted but then I realise they’re not- I guess we’re all just trying to get through this thing called life 🤪
Yes I think that’s absolutely it! I think everyone thinks someone else is doing better than them. When really we all feel like this! X
I often feel that way too, and not only do I then realise that they are not but, more often then not, they think that I got my shit together. 🤣 Evening David. x
Evening to you Kaia x This is exactly it - I think others have it all sorted and they think I have 🤦🏻♂️ They’re totally wrong of course 🤣
Same here. 😁😅
Yes, I think lots of us have self confidence and (can I call it) body issues, me included. A combination echoing what parents (stupidly) said and weight issues. Unhelpful inner voice for me. Talking to my lovely friends here helps my confidence…
All I can do is remind you that voice is a liar, you’re not rubbish, you are lovely.
Thank you! So kind of you ♥️ I still don’t like peas 😂😂
🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢💚
Nobody’s perfect all of the time😂😂
I'm pretty close fella😂 Mwaaaaah xxxx
😂😂😂😂 🟢🟢🟢🟢
I've felt like this about myself from the last 52 years!
Sorry you feel like that Russ ♥️
It's ok that's just me
What are we like! Let’s be kinder to ourselves xx
For me it's a hard habit to break
Pretty much me on a daily basis at the moment Sukie. Good to meet you by the way xxx
Sorry you feel like this, it’s horrible. Nice to meet you too MsV! X
Thank you hun. I’m sorry you do too. Look forward to chatting ❤️xx
Btw your bloody gorgeous 😍.
To right I do . Don't know many people who like themselves. I definitely don't 🤪
🥰😘
All of the time Sukie. I reckon most people have those feelings. I'm full of insecurities & feelings of inadequacy x
Thanks Bobby Glad it’s not just me x
Nah hun. We all get those feelings of self-loathing and put a face on to make people think that we're fine. So well played you for being brave enough to say it x
Thanks mate, we all have our wobbles x
Yeah this is definitely a thing. I hate all photos others take of me especially, however, I was reminded that my children will cherish them when im gone so I let it go now. It's important to be kind to yourself, we all need more self care x
Thanks Fairy, that’s a good perspective. Definitely need to be kinder to myself x
I genuinely hate myself most of the time too. I'm too fat, too loud, too irritating and my qualifications are all flukes. People tell me none of this is true. I'm looking at you and you look pretty fab to me. I'll do you a deal? I'll believe them if you believe me? X
Evening Amelia That’s a deal I can’t refuse! X
Yes.
Yes.
It's the people who don't have any moments of self-doubt or 'dark nights of the soul' whom I don't really trust... You're fine!! 🌞
Thank you That’s a good way of putting it xx ♥️
Of course you are not Sukie, but we can all feel like that sometimes. Practical suggestion, have a have a look at Janine Lamy’s short videos on TikTok. Totally free and she is a mindset coach dealing with exactly this, and for transparency, she is Mrs W.
I love that sort of stuff! I’ve followed her Thanks Martin
I’d love to be kind, empathic and curious. In reality I’m not particularly pretty, I’m selfish and boring. It’s funny though, how we see ourselves isn’t necessarily how others see us.
I don’t know you Sukie, not really but I see someone incredibly kind and compassionate. We can be our own worst critics.
Thanks Sarah 🫂🥰
It’s human nature it seems to beat ourselves up. I know I do it on a daily basis Just be you Sukie. You’re ace. Swears and all.
It’s funny how we do, I can’t shake the feeling at the moment. Thanks buddy, my swearing is getting worse! 😂😂
I love your swears! You use up the quota I can’t really post! 😇 The serious question tho, I’m generally happy in my skin. I’m ok to post funny less complementary pics of myself, & have, don’t care. My worries are more in my brain. Have i offended some1? Am I too noisy? Imposter syndrome etc … we’re
… all so critical of ourselves. It’s a shame because all of a sudden it’ll come to an end & we’ll have spent more time worrying than enjoying life. Who cares about wrinkles & eye bags (hate mine!) … they don’t define us. And bear in mind, people who appear super confident on SM, aren’t always! 🙋🏼♀️ xx
Every time I tell myself to stop swearing I seem to get worse! I’m not normally like this, lately things have been a hard slog and I think I have let it grind me down! Thank you for the pep talk, I need it! X
Oh mate, I love a good swear.. it’s cathartic, and appaz… the intelligent folks do it… honest.. Good for the blood pressure too. Get it out!
Same! It makes me feel better 😂
I didn’t see this original post yesterday Sukie. So I’m just crashing into all the replies. I absolutely understand where you are coming from but I agree with Mork. You are far from any of the things you say. But our own perception of ourselves is our own worst enemy.
I’ve got better at being kinder to myself over the last couple of years, and there are a few people on here that have very much helped with that too.
Thank you Neil I know we are all our own harshest critics! X
Please don’t stop swearing! I love swears! 😂 Life can be a hard slog. I hear ya. We’re all on the same team here generally! Here to build each other up. I think you’re ace 👊🏼
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmCL...
Haha! I love swears!
good and thank fuck for that ,, i do swear a ot as its a form of expression i do ge on with ..esp when dealing with text convos just to convey emotion.. anyway your a fucking good egg :) <<
sorry for the typos lol trying to type while mobile can be iffy lol
I’m certainly too fat (the bathroom scales flash up “ONE AT A TIME PLEASE”) and I look in the mirror and think UGH 🤢 But I know I’m not thick, and I’ve given up caring about the things I’m not good at - there are many of those - and focus on the things I really do well. Sukie, relax, you are fine
Thanks Tony Really appreciate your support xx
Xxx
That's a positive, healthy approach... ☺
Everyone feels like that about themselves at some point
Thanks John It’s good to know, helps knowing it’s not just me!
Me everyday since a long time x From what I see on your profile posts pictures I don't agree with you though lol you are glorious gal xx
Thanks Laura You neither buddy but I guess we all have it xx
You are awesome gal inside and out 😍
Frequently. I have a run of ok for a bit and then fall down a hole. Currently waving from the depths of the hole as I've given up today.
Oh no hugs everyone from me 🫂
I'll try again tomorrow. The brain squirrels are at it.
Sending hugs 🫂
Back atcha x
🥰
Hi Sukie People go through stages in their lives when they can be more or less confident. What you have described is part of the human experience. How we are is a function of all sorts of influences from childhood on You seem sufficiently concerned / curios to flag this up here. Maybe channel that
Thanks Kane, I’ll try!
There are some interesting points below your post from people who like and respect you. Perhaps they are a starting point? 👍🙂
Most definitely Thank you 🙏☺️
All the time….
🤗🤗🤗
Yes, definitely have moments like this. Recently feeling I'm a failure for having some sort of seizures that we're trying to work out the cause of. I have absolutely zero control over these, yet sometimes still feel like it's my fault. Massive hugs to you, it's just brains being arseholes xx 💜🫂🥰
Over here 👋 I try not to think about myself because I will never be enough.I don't think I've ever felt good enough. I certainly avoid mirrors and photographs at all costs. I can relate.
Sorry you feel like that. ♥️
It's OK. I have no idea how to fix it so I opt to ignore the feelings as best I can. Not an ideal solution but it's the best I've got.
Ignoring them sounds like a plan ♥️
Yes. Just like everyone else who has replied. I'm overweight, underachieving and boring. But then ... people seem to like us, so maybe we're not so bad after all?? Hugs 🫂
Funny isn't it, despite how much some people wang on about it, being thin isn't a prerequisite to being a nice human x
Yep. And well covered humans give the best cuddles. Fact!!
This. All day long.
Morning You know what, I think you’re right 😊🫂🫂🫂
A long time ago, yes, I could be like that. Time goes on, confidence in oneself changes and increases. Get more self-confident, you see yourself in a far better light. This can happen far faster than you think it might as well. And you? You have no reason to feel rubbish at all!
Thank you Gareth So kind of you 🥰😘
I feel all of these things about me . Please send me sympathy. Self centred aresehole who talks about himself . 😂 it's me ffs
Just seen this Sukie. As I've said to you before, you need to be kinder to yourself. As others have already mentioned, talk to yourself like how you would speak to someone you love. I am my own biggest critic & sometimes compare myself unfavourably to others in all aspects such as looks ...
... body, intelligence etc. But I remind myself that I'm breathing & I'm able to do things that others did not get the opportunity to do or are not able to do. I'm OK as I am! Give yourself credit for how far you've come. For all the things you've accomplished no matter how small ...
... Life is too short to be unkind especially to yourself. Live in the moment & be grateful for the opportunities you have. Stay golden 🧡 Vxxx
Thanks V Been in the thick of it all and stress has just got to me. Thanks this is just bang on x ♥️
It happens & it's OK to feel low. Just lean into it but don't let it consume you. For various reasons I've had poor mental health this month. I've dealt with it by talking to people on here & in real life & by just laughing at stupidity. A silly joke, flag shaggers & general idiots ...
... It's just framing something differently in your head into something more positive which in turn makes you feel better. Don't ever feel you can't talk to anyone to release the load in your brain to decompress. Reach out, cry, scream & shout. It all helps! 🧡 Vxxx
Awww Sukie..you truly are a genuine and beautiful girl, both inside and out. You exude confidence, intelligence, and have a wonderful sense of humour. We're all unique, and having the down days makes us appreciate the good days even more. Take care lovely, and be gentle with yourself 🤗🦋
Thank you Gigi So kind and lovely of you to say all those things. I will sure to keep that in mind xx
I see myself as being boring (I'm shy and an introvert) and a nuisance (from depression and anxiety). I genuinely don't understand why anyone wants to spend time with me.
I’m sure you’re not Helen. I suppose we are all our own worst critics x
Anyone that doesn't have these moments is a narcissistic sociopath. Don't beat yourself up, you're normal.
Thanks, much appreciated 😊
You're not alone in having thoughts like this, you've pretty accurately summarised the opinion I've held of myself for a long time. I've been able to start turning that around recently, but I still struggle to believe that people may like me, harder still to believe that some find me attractive.
And I know you said you weren't fishing for compliments, but your PFP shows you're very beautiful, I'm sure you attract far more admiring glances than you think. 🫂
Thank you 🫂
Honestly we all have moments like that. It wasn’t until I realised that inside we’re all a bit insecure, that I started to feel better about myself. It just depends on how well we brazen it out.
Thanks Janey, helps knowing others go through it too x
Hate to say it but when you get old like me you won’t give a fuck. You’re beautiful.
😂 Thanks xx
So true.
Most of the time; I would also, for me ‘too old’
Same!
All of those things more & more these days. Pretty sure I can't fix any of them so I listen to the radio/funny podcasts and try to forget. Completely healthy approach 🤣
I read a lot, get lost in a book. It’s whatever works for us I suppose And why not! 😂
Sometimes I think that I have a face/body for radio! Then I realise that I have a lot to be positive and grateful for. Not sure about the traits about how you describe yourself Sukie…but I see a kind, sensitive, friendly and funny human being. 👌🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🫶🏼
Thanks Evan!
Oh god yes. Sometimes…usually after a tantrum.. very reproachful. Hate myself.. a lot.
Thanks Hels I’m glad I’m not the only one having tantrums!
Ikr, you wouldn’t think it possible… Would you…? WOULD YOU!!!! 🤪😘
😂😂😂😂nope! 😘
No, no, no, no, no.... don't talk about yourself like that... nobody believes you're anything like that...
Thank you Ted ♥️
What Ted said . You are one of the best on here . 💚
Aaaw thanks We all have our moments xxx You’re fab too ♥️
Not sure if this is helpful, but here goes: We all have an inner critic which arrived in childhood as the internalised voice of authority -- critical parents, teachers, other kids and so on. It's actually a survival mechanism but might not seem like it. Cont...
Arguing with it is doomed to fail as it's a voice of authority. It is possible (trust me on this) to make friends with this voice and give it a new job. Although it sounds hateful, it's actually trying to protect you. More...
Those critical parents & teachers probably weren't trying to deliberately fuck you up (well, let's hope not), they were concerned you grow into a mostly self-sufficient adult. They were just very crap at it. Which is why it is assumed to be protective. End.
Thank you Mike Very informative and much appreciated x
Good 😀 Wishing you much peace.
Have you no-one who loves you and makes you feel good? That makes all the difference to life, whether it be man, woman, child, dog, cat.... Another living being who depends on you & who loves you unconditionally makes life worth living. Be kind to yourself, you're nice, you deserve to be happy. ❤️
Thanks Chris lovely much appreciated ♥️ I do, and sometimes I lose sight of all the things they tell me.
When my husband was dying I tried to cope with each day by thinking of three things which had given me some degree of happiness. It may have been a cheery 'Hello', a dog's waggy tail, sunlight on raindrops. Nothing much. But that gave me positive things to think about & often made me smile.
💪🫂♥️
Thank you Ray 😘🥰♥️
Yw😉
I absolutely approve this message😍 ‘ have faith in yourself’💪
Oh yes, often
It seems we all feel like this from time to time. 🤗
Absolutely ❤️
I don't like too much about myself either, but I guess that's fairly common. No way are you any of those things you've described. I mean, ugly? Pfft, bollocks..
Rabby Burns is a wise mon... O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us! It wad frae mony a blunder free us, An' foolish notion: What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us, An' ev'n devotion!
There is that, yeah. It really makes me wonder when someone so obviously not ugly thinks they're ugly.
T, we are bombarded daily, women for much longer than men, on what the ideal shape/style/haircut/behaviour should be. The 'you'll be 'happy when you lose that 10lb' ' magazine article that's in every magazine. It's no wonder so many of us feel inadequate .
I hear you. It's just sad to see. Not really sure what else I can say.
They've literally spent 75 years telling women they are inadequate... 30 years for men. Because if we don't feel inadequate, we won't buy that pot of wonder creme...
I never really thought about it that way Sue. Until very recently. I have no fucks to give about the way I am having always believed "beauty on the inside" school of thought. Changed my mind tho'. It torments some. A full time vanity / inadequate programme everywhere.
Yup. It's taken 200 mgs a day of sertraline to stop it. If you want to talk, I'm here. 🫂❤️
Thank you, that sounds tough ♥️♥️♥️
It was at the beginning, but the work is done so now I just enjoy life. 🤗
Hey Sukes. Sorry for the late reply. I've not got much to add to what everyone has already said. Except, just be you cos your ace😎😉✌️
Thanks Johnny You’re a good egg, thanks buddy xx
I think many of us have times when these kinds of thoughts get into our heads. You're you, and that's a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman. If you were rubbish or thick, you wouldn't have achieved what you have. We're all different shapes & and sizes, & that doesn't change our whole beauty.
Thanks for your kind words Martin, you’re right. 🤗🥰
I’ve had periods of low personal esteem & times when I didn’t/ don’t like myself but I’ve managed to mostly put those feelings away & like myself. I certainly don’t think that you’re any of the things you say above. There is no shame whatsoever in talking to someone about things.
Thanks Sean x
Take care Sukie x
You too buddy! X
When we feel like this, telling us we are not doesn’t really help I guess. What I learnt in my darkest hours is not to fight it. You just accept the feelings and sit with them. Depression is a form of trying to suppress feelings. So let them out, give them a name, tell them they are not your ruler.
Thank you for sharing that with me Darren. I’ve let things just be and unfold. Sometimes going with the flow is all you can do x
Aww Sukie you are a gorgeous pretty young woman 💖 yes we all get thoughts like that and I especially think women have a hard time ! Be proud of who you are , move forward and do things for you 😘hope you start feeling better soon ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you lovely! Very kind of you ♥️🥰😘
True 🥰
Those of us who aren't narcissistic psychopaths often have periods of self doubt. It's what makes us nice, normal human beings. Carry on being you and being the person who people like. Don't be like the Trumps, Putin's and Farages of the world.
Very true Sue Thank you 😊
Sukie, I think you’re great. You’re not rubbish at anything on Bluesky. You’re lovely, smart, fun. Tons of people on here love you 🤗
Thank you Stephanie. So lovely of you to say. Very much appreciated 🥰
Yes, regularly throughout life, I put mine down to a childhood where I was told by my mother that I was useless and stupid. It left me feeling inferior to friend’s colleagues and peers. Meeting my amazingly supported partner was the turning point. Your funny, smart, interesting and very pretty x
Thank you Tracey I do think our childhood does shape us as people. Aaw that’s kind of you, thank you ♥️♥️♥️
I ran out of characters to say more but I meant every word, your non of those things you see yourself as.
I think we all do Sukie, human nature. I’m having to give myself a telling off for being too critical of my wrinkles, and the fact that my arms don’t look as toned as they used to, I’m 65 for gods sake! 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Thanks Gerri I know, you’re right x
We have to learn to he kinder to ourselves, i’m so much better than I used to be but it still grabs me sometimes:
You are never 65 years of blooming age Gerri. This is lies!!
Yes . All of this . I'm like a monk . Bald patch . Teeth are yellow . Toes are a weird shape . Moobs . You guys are great 💚
🤣🤣🤣
Pfft axel. I’m pretty sure you are a fine figure of a man. Especially given all your running.
He's got legs like a gazelle!!
😂😂...
I don’t believe a word of it A. 😊
I just deal in facts and data G . You ok ? How's the oh ? Golfing much ?
I’m good thanks, he’s golfing as we speak. 😂
Ha! You’re too kind Neil, I’ll be getting my state pension in December. 😱😱 glad to see you back. 🥰
☺️☺️ I don't feel as old as I am🤗 (yet)
None of us do, that’s why we’re surprised when we catch ourselves in a mirror. 😱😱😂😂
Sometimes it’s a real shocker. Don’t recognise myself 🤣
I know. 😂😂
💯 % true🤗
Acknowledging you are damaged is the finest thing, because the world is the mess it is because of damaged people not acknowledging that they are. Just be kind to yourself, in a measured way, not in an overcompensatory way 😘 You’re grand, lass xx
Yep, I have bouts of exactly this quite often. I absolutely *love* my job, but it frequently pops into my head that my colleagues are just really nice people who put up with me because I try really hard 😂😭😭😭😂😭
Me too! It’s mad isn’t it! X
Our minds are strange things, I look at your photos and my mind can't comprehend how someone who looks like you do could think about yourself the way that you do.🤷🏾♂️
Thank you Dave So nice of you x
I do too. Not all the time, it depends on external factors. You’re beautiful btw. The important thing is to recognise that that inner voice/judgement is a sum of many factors which act together to create negative thoughts. Doesn’t mean they’re true x
Thank you Dianne That makes sense! You’re so kind ♥️
Hey Sooks, I think most of us have been there. There are times when I’m at peace with myself, and others when I can’t stand a single thing about me. My brother once told me, “Be gentle with the child inside you, and treat yourself with the same kindness you give to others." That stayed with me.
How lovely, thank you for sharing that Kaia. I love it, it says it all!
I think everyone has moments like this, especially in times of high stress. It’s human nature to judge ourselves harshly. Doesn’t make it true though x
I think you’re right, easy to lose sight of things when everything else is stressful x
The fact you have a million positive responses speaks volumes about you. 😁 It is natural. Also, I suspect there is something perhaps missing in a person who doesn't have self-doubts (they score higher on the cuntometer). You could flip it around and think how lucky you are to be you. You are.
I think I did an amazing job of coming up with cuntometer. I'm Canadian, FFS, we don't use such filthy language! 😂🤣😂🤣😂
I think so, not as much as I did when I was younger tho. I think it's just part of being human.
You’re probably right! Not easy though x
I agree. Also, I know you aren't angling for complements but I can't see any evidence that you should be hard on yourself. At all. Although I've never met you and in real life you could be a fucking nightmare for all I know 😂
😂😂 I’m a nightmare sometimes 😩😂
Almost everyone ❤️
Maybe we all have these moments ♥️
Definitely we all do ❤️