I'll be honest I don't have much idea what's going on but they're having fun in the Area 51 secret labs so I'm basically sold

Okay the "How does Tom Cruise do this?" line legit made me snork

still have no idea what the hell is happening in this movie and it doesn't matter.

Every time Venom folds back up behind Tom Hardy he is doing the physical comedy equivalent of an alien buttprobe joke with his expression. Bruce Campbell walked so that he could run

Chiwetel Ejiofor is in this movie trying to provide military seriousness energy and he's phoning it in so far, but admittedly that's a bit of a pointless task in a movie this silly. You're better than this Chiwetel but I know a man's gotta get paid

I didn't think much of the weird opposing alien monster design but it does eat people in a pretty cool way

Legit impressed at Tom Hardy running around the woods barefoot. I would have been going ow ow ooh oack ow

Juno Temple is having a Shape of Water moment with Carnage.

I still can't figure out whether other people can hear Venom or not (I assume not but of course everyone pauses so that Venom can crack a joke). The jokes are bad enough that I can totally believe everyone is just ignoring him and hoping he'll go away.

There's an extended gag where Venom sings along to David Bowie with the hippie alien nerd family.