"He said he was going to lunch with his brother and didn't invite me! It must be a cover for him to cheat on me with a hooker! I'm going to go live in a cabin in the woods for six weeks and not tell anyone where I'm going." MA'AM. You have a PHD in NEUROSCIENCE.
"My best friend that I've had a crush on for years has joined the prince's personal guard so he doesn't get sent to war and away from me and my job as a courtier at the palace but me but didn't ask me about it first so I must accept evil baron's betrothal offer to make him jealous" BITCH WHAT.
"I jumped to a conclusion and rather than talking to literally anyone about it I will immediately use all but one braincell to pity myself and/or get angry and use that remaining braincell to make the worst possible decision conceivable which will drag out the plot of this book another 200 pages"