ah, but what of all the people who will pretend to believe it to own the libs!

I don't know; I've met some pretty gullible and stupid Trump voters...

Unfortunately, you are wrong.

He just opened up the gates for more document requests. Is he stupid? If he was an informant, there is a long dated back trail of paperwork that's going to prove it. They just keep digging the hole with their hands and looking up at the sky, wondering why it's getting farther away.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

there's no way married people do, either!

The man knows no shame. How does he think this is going to play out when he meets St. Pete?

they would have released the files like they promised if this was even remotely true. i don’t doubt trump squealed on jeffrey when it suited him but he was not an informant, he was a snitch.

so you know how in cop dramas, the undercover guy will have to do some drugs to prove he's not a cop? it was like that, except instead of doing a line in front of the drug boss he raped children for several decades

This is a desperation heave. ‘Here, pull this thread’

Have you met us?

ah yes. and we are just hearing about it now because...

…they think we’re stupid. Well, some people are exactly that stupid, but they’re busy clutching their trump bibles.

BULLSHIT MIKE JOHNSON

Sure but he has Ka$h Patel to come out and verify it. They’ll spoof up some documents to support it, claim to declassify it. Voila! Perfect GOO explanation for why Trump had sex with those children. He was deep undercover. 🙄

Oops. GOP.

i took a look at the bird site, and yea there's people eating this shit up completely geniunely sickening

bsky.app/profile/goli...

including among the folks who believe JFK Jr. is alive and will appear soon to deliver everybody from the pedophile conspiracy of John Podesta or whoever they're currently aiming at? This story is custom made for them.

The timing of this is super funny tho right Cuz if it was true, they would've just said it from the get go, instead of weeks and weeks after this whole thing started and lying Implying that in the weeks it took throwing random deflections out this is the best thing they could come up with Tragic

LOL they said it was a hoax! But that was Trump was in so deep he didn't think the time was right yet! He was just about to crack the case!

Like: he was more ashamed of being known as a snitch than as a pedo creep. So, saying he would release the files during the campaign was him just lying to his base all along. Maybe to just get their votes? Nah, he wouldn’t do that. Right?? These people are just scum-all of them!

accepting the lie validates loyalty.

#Deepstate Donnie!

The speaker is a Trump dingleberry crack addict. He has smoked so much of Trump's shit he is speaking in tongues now

Qanon might and those are the people that worry them the most.

Next it was him who killed Bin Laden

Have you met my aunt or my parents?

Can you let us know their take on this?

If it’s a serious question OK. My aunt has been known to say that Trump will stop forever wars. My dad has been known to say that he thinks Trump will fix the economy. And my mom will say things like it’s all Obama or Biden’s fault.

If you mean what is their take on this particular thing with Johnson, Epstein and Trump the savior? I’m not touching that with a 10 foot pole. My mental health is too important to me. But my strong guess is they’ll believe Johnson.

We already knew this. He only did it because Epstein was pissed at Trump screwed him on a Real Estate purchase and Trump used a Russian Oligarch to do it, so Epstein was gonna expose Trump’s connections to Russia. He did it to save his own ass.

What I do believe: the FBI attempted to question him (because he’s all over the files and the case) and he has been classified as an “informant” because of this and they’re spinning it as that was a plan all along to exonerate him.

“You knew enough specific details about child rape in relation to the world’s most notorious sex trafficker the FBI gathered useful information from you” isn’t the win they think it is.

Trump believed it as soon as he heard Johnson say it.

Isn't this just saying the Qanon out loud

Yeah almost exactly. I'm so excited for Q 2 this time it's real we promise

I think it's fair to say that the Republican party's official religion is shifting from Evangelical Christianity to Qanon.

many are saying this!

This is the stupidest, most unhinged timeline. Wtf only a MAGA lunatic would believe this

No shit I saw someone on Twitter unironically share this news and say “Lots of people have egg on their face right now” Heretofore unseen levels of stupidity.

Love the constant lies. There are stupid people, they voted for Trump, and there are also criminal people who voted for Trump. Giant criminal gang really.

Don’t worry guys Trump is one of the good pedophiles like Quagmire from Family Guy.

There's no way a married person does, either. Divorced people, however...

This is like "i have a girlfriend, she just goes to a different school" level sophistication as far as excuses go

More material for The Daily Show’s @jordanklepper.bsky.social

They are back to the wall and running out of excuses. All we need to see is one video clip of him doing it.

Being👏an👏informant👏means👏you👏participated👏in👏enough👏of👏the👏crime👏to👏have👏useful👏knowledge👏of👏it👏 🙂 I can totally believe it

Theyre like a week away from just calling him a white hat pedophile

I think you're severely underestimating the "it's real to ME!" crowd

Bullshit.

They don't need people to believe it... They just need people to talk about it. So people (or the media)don't talk about more important things. Like how we make things better for everyday people.

мой други, Epstein was FBI.

I work with someone who would believe this in a New York minute. 😒

Bullpucky!

dont you worry conspiranoids, presidente pedo wasnt having sex with children for pleasure, he was having sex with children because he work for the fbi

"trump was a white hat pedophile" has finally finished its human centipede journey from the asshole of 8chan to the speaker's mouth

white hood maybe

Well no one who isn't a Q Anon nut

He really does think people are as stupid as he is.

He’s so freakin smug!

I'm prepared for not a single journalist to ask 'alright, well if he has these strong personal convictions then what was all this talk about pardoning maxwell'

stupidest pack of gangsters on the planet, allowed to run the world anyway because nobody remembers what a follow-up question is

Oh shit, he is _guilty_ guilty.

For a cult is a proof of loyalty to believe it. They will, and will punish their own people who don't.

#MikeJohnson It’s called “grasping at straws” they are pathetic and would be laughable if the subject wasn’t so critical.

I feel like just ignoring the issue was a better strategy than this, but Trump isn't known for taking the best strategies

Mike's going straight to hell. Trump says his falling out with Jeffrey Epstein was over spa workers at Mar-a-Lago : NPR share.google/HzfFjZdA7FAr...

BREAKING: Obvious lie.

true they’re all married

lol, lmao even

I for one believe 100% that Trump would sell a friend out if part of the bargain included him getting away with pedophilia

For one thing it pretends that Trump of all people wouldn't tell everyone all the time that he's a Secret FBI Hero.

Unfortunately a lot of people do or will believe this.

are they leaving out the word "criminal" in front of informant? him "being an informant" sounds like the same line of thinking Elvis had when he wanted that narcotics badge.

guaranteed magaverse is eating this up

So many people will not only believe this, they will audibly WHEW as though they have passed a great Tribulation with their faith intact

There's at least one

I’m sure they do. They are very dumb.

"there’s no way a single person believes this" I dunno. A lot of these MAGAts are about as sharp as a bowling ball.

This is heartwarming moment for me, everybody in the white house has combined at best the intelligence of a cockroach, this is the best they can come up with? common

In the past, they would put actual effort in lying to the public

They don’t have to now bc FauxNews will just keep saying it like they have all the evidence they need to prove it.

There's no way he is because we would already know about it. Trump would have been bragging about that shit on twitter before they even arrested Epstein.

Im pretty sure even die hard Q followers wouldn't believe this.

Have you met this guys aunt or parents bsky.app/profile/litt...

interpreting this as a dinner invitation

i've met people like them. The entire basis of qanon was that trump infiltrated the elites to bring them down this is not running counter to the fascist narrative it is giving it credence

Great minds

Americans can't believe why foreign dictators can have diehard lifelong loyalists they way they do and then they pray over a picture of Trump next to Jesus

This was an actual QAnon conspiracy theory

they do. This is all they believe q was.

To be clear my understanding of Q anon was from the perspective that Q followers DO believe trump had a secret agenda to expose epstein, but do not think the FBI was involved because FBI is feds and feds is bad. Granted, yes, cultists will believe their leader no matter what, that's what a cult is.

You underestimate how aggressively gullible those shitbiscuits are.

MAGA is famous for their ability to see through bullshit.

fucking hell that's not satire ??????

Ooooh, that’s what he meant by “it’s a hoax by the democrats,” and his followers are stupid for doing the democrats work for them. Makes sense.

i like how if this had even the slightest chance of being true then he did a terrible job. they were friends for like two decades

Again, IF true (but it's NOT), he FAILED at his job! #ETTD #tRUMPbiglyestLOSER

He personally pulled Saddam out of his hiding hole.

What, Trump pulled Saddam out of his own ass? No wonder it took so long to find him. I reckon the weapons of mass destruction are still in there, maybe between the ears?

It comes around to this Republican belief that as long as something is government sanctioned it's not necessarily illegal if it's someone they like. Like an Obama crypto rug pull would be the scandal of the decade but for Trump it's not even acknowledged he emptied his supporters bank accounts.

I’m know I’m stating the obvious here but:

There’s no way this is real because if it was he would never fucking say this because it would be pointing out to everyone else who was visiting the island “Here’s the man who will ruin your reputation and life by revealing it to everyone now send your finest assassins after him”

If it is true there would be record of it no?

Hahahahaha.

WaPo and NYT gonna plaster this unironically up and down their websites. The Atlantic think piece is gonna be tremendous.

I don't believe it

so as a good undercover agent ,he was obligated to fuck 13 year katie johnson 😂😂

lol they're unironically floating the white hat pedophile narrative. anyone who buys this line is too stupid to breathe

That's in fact the only place they have left to go, the psychic cost of NOT believing this is too high.

This is so funny considering trump supposedly cut him off at some time after the first case. So this reads like an admission trump kept paling around with him after he claimed he stopped

You are talking like the Dumb Guys didnt just learn about Epstein like 60 days ago when we basically knew all of this 10 years ago

They’re really reaching with these new narratives.

It does make sense though - doesn’t matter who you are to Trump, he will sell you out to the lowest bidder the nanosecond it becomes in any way expedient for him.

Trump: "Baby, I didn't want to have sex with those kids, but I had to...I'm a secret agent with the FBI." (Becomes President and has the Speaker repeat his lie)

the operation was so top secret that even Trump wasn't told that he was acting as an informant.

I fully believe the FBI asked him questions, and he answered them because he can't shut up, and possibly he had a lawyer make sure there was a deal Questions like "Who else was there when you saw Epstein have sex with this child" And mostly Trump doesn't want people to know he snitched

Ahah! To think like a nonce, I must become a nonce 🤔🤔🤔

You're talking about the stupidest country on earth of course everyone will believe this lol

I can't believe this isn't a meme that's an actual headline.

that guy famous for keeping to himself and not announcing his every move CONSTANTLY. That humble dude fond of being reserved and quiet.

There’s going to be some people who are neck deep in conspiracy theory qanon bullshit that might, but I’m here thinking if it were true Trump would have been bragging about it by now.

Bwhahahhaa that's a good one

No, but many will pretend like they believe it to protect Dear Leader.

Not gonna even bother to ask if it’s true…

My tin foil hat theory is that Epstein and trump were both running competing human smuggling rings and trump flipped on Epstein because the FBI had him in the ringer. All in all it doesn't matter because they are all still pedophiles.

Did they draft the QAnon fanfic writers to a 3 letter agency?

No fucking way. He's not and has never been smart enough nor reliable enough to be a plant.

Basically he is so transparently a pedo, with so much evidence in the Epstein Files, that they are trying to spin it however positively they can. "No no, you guys don't get it, he did all this pedo shit cause he was deep undercover for the FBI to bust Epstein!"

no he's definitely like the Dexter of pedophiles

there are like tens of millions of people who desperately want to though

Ok then release the files then Mr Informant. Inform us lol.

But the sure will pretend until people do!

He's such a coward, couldn't be an informant. Maybe he dropped a dime, who knows, he likes to hurt people, including his "friends".

Trumpico

You would think he would talk more about it, if it was true.

So, about that bridge…

We all know he's already Russian 🕵️‍♂️ spy!

“Before you read any of those documents, I want you to know that I was totally an FBI informant working to take down Epstein from the inside. You know, just in case you see my name on those client lists. I didn’t want to have sex with all those hot underage girls. They made me do that!”

They need to put this qanon bake back into the microwave for 1 more minute

So…a snitch?

I'll find one just you wait

Save your time, and just point to the congress.

He was an informant for the fbi who is just about to pardon the co-conspirator. Masterful gambit sir.

Michael Wolff has said on Daily Beast podcasts that Epstein suspected Trump of ratting on him after their real estate feud - ended in their breakup back circa 2005. I don't think Mike Johnson said it though - cause then how could it be a hoax? haha - not that anything needs to make sense

🤣🤣🤣

I believe he could have been offered immunity to save his own skin.

Ah so he was so sketch even the fbi had his nuts in a vice

If we go with the incredibly generous assumption that this is in anyway true (it’s not), he did a really fucking bad job.

"tasked" LOL. Yes, Donald fuckin' Trump, famous for putting himself on the line in order to do the right thing. Yup, that tracks.

I believe that he told anyone who would listen what he did with underage girls and that that audience probably included a few FBI agents. Does that count?

wasn’t that basically what q anon was pushing

Aside from the MAGA idiots

There better be no one trusting the plan right now

What if he was but he ended up going rogue once he realized how much he liked touching kids?

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Sheer, transparent foolery.

Every fucken word a lie I agree all this dumbfuckery stall and distract gas lighting bull shit It's a HUMAN TRAFFICKING RING AND DONALD IS GUILTY He's on the list MAXWELL is on the list

I can believe him being a rat but not to the point of being an informer.

wow nobody is that gullible are they?

He was just undercover while sexually abusing young girls.

I mean the maga crowd will grab onto it as the excuse now 😩

Oh no

If they keep switching up their story, that is a very, VERY clear and blatant "I'M A LIAR" sign. Trump is so, so, so guilty.

No, I believe... that Trump dropped a dime on Epstien during their break up. He wouldn't know enough to do that if he wasn't elbows deep in it at the time.

Sadly, most magas probably will.

I mean he rolled over on Epstein but that was bc Epstein burned him on a land deal

Alex Jones probably believes this.

It's a pillar of QAnon conspiracy crackpottery.

*checks r/Conservative* nope it seems quite a few people believe this

Love the idea that Donald! Trump! Kept this secret during all the times he was asked about Epstein in the last two months

He had a hard enough time trying to keep the secret that they were trying to steal the election!