Should have been named Red Tasteless

Yeah I wouldn’t eat that shit either

The most inaptly named thing ever.

I discovered Lucy apples last year. 🤤 That’s all.

Barely red, not at all delicious. No thank you! Give me a cortland or northern spy, or even a gala instead 😸

As a Washington native, I feel I have the background to tell you all that there are much better apples than red delicious anyway! 😉🙃

Also Washington native. When I was a kid we had a Wolf River apple tree, and the closest comparison is probably Braeburn, but better. WR apples are a heritage variety that fell out of favor because they often have surface blemishes, so don't look perfect. Wish I had one now!

Red delicious apples aren't.

Conspiracy by doctors

Never trust an apple that red

Honey Crisp every time 👍🏾

Yes!

Try a cosmic crisp is you can find one they are great too.

Cosmic crisp is my new go to! Love the flavor and crunch, and they don’t bruise as easily as honey crisp do.

I thought it was about taking food from strangers?

come on you don't need to exaggerate. They are only half sawdust

The only apple that’s tasty and doesn’t turn brown…like for hours after you cut it, is an Opal apple. Find em, try em…you’ll see.

Cosmic crisp ftw.

Yeah, deeply wrong.

Mealy ass shit. The Greenland of apple names...

as someone who has eaten 20+ apples a day on numerous occasions, I can confirm that red delicious apples are, in fact, mid.

Red diasappointment

Such a bait and switch bc you’re thinking “okay red is in the name, and it’s red. Delicious is in the name, so it must be delicious” and that’s exactly how Satan deceives you

Never would have happened with a granny smith

Talk about deceptive marketing

Yeah. Fukkit, ALL apples are off the menu after that...

My favorite 🍎...just bought more today.😂🤷🏽‍♀️

I pulled a red delicious apple of a tree,ate it ,that damn tree was pissed .. beat the hell out of me with its branches..

Yeah she was probably better off eating a Pink Lady

I associate golden delicious with utter garbage so I’ve never felt inclined to try red delicious.

Ah, sweet Styrofoam with coppery aftertaste, how I never wish to taste you again.

She should have had a honey crisp

The evil step-mother couldn't afford a honey crisp!

a true greenland / iceland situation amongst the apple names

Seconded, below, in the scroll somewhere...

If you’re not sucking on a Pink Lady you’re doing it wrong.

Granny Smith all day

Why are they so nastyyy DX

*the worst apple

And the fallacy that it is more important to be beautiful than to be smart. A smart girl wouldn’t have taken fruit from a stranger.

👍

Disappointing and posionous

Granny Smith's all the way... I like my apples like I like my friends.. Tart, crisp and juicy.

Honeycrisp or bust.

May I introduce you to the Cosmic Crisp? 🍎

💯 agree that Cosmic Crisp is the best. Honeycrisp is a close second

No bias or anything! 😉

The worst apple ever made.

Funny, so is Adam & Eve.

Considering that they taste like juicy sawdust, yes.

She would have gotten my ass with an yellow Opal.

I thought it was about shacking up with 7 geezers in a deserted house.

So is the Bible 🤣

Made me laugh. Thank you 😊

Karmijn de Sonnaville will make your mouth dance to Bizet wearing fruit hat. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karmijn...

L🍎L

😝

Red delicious apples are punks shouldn’t even be consumed….

Nothing delicious about those things.

A Fuji would’ve made more sense.

My crazy Southern mother-in-law makes incredible apple pies using those awful things and I have no idea how that works.

They're sorta like a starch texturally, or cauliflower maybe? I'm thinking it'd not break down the same as a more juicy one, but take in the sugar and spices and sweeten up like a roasted veg? (Ritz Crackers had a recipe for mock apple pie, IIRC....yup!) www.seriouseats.com/american-cla...

The cinnamon and brown sugar and whatnot definitely flavor the apples wonderfully.

So one could prob sprinkle an old shoe with sugar+spice...long as there's a crust, I am in

They make great pies and great applesauce. I think it’s the sweetness and texture.

She's lying and swapping them out when you don't look? They lose even more flavor and turn to mush when baked, they're sent from the devil

I've watched the whole process, she's a witch probably.

That, or at least some crazy chemicals (ok, acids)

Homemade pie crust doesn't hurt anything.

I use 3 varieties in my pies and homemade crust. A dash of nutmeg is good but not as much cinnamon as recipes generally call for.

that's why i don't like apples.

Why does everyone hate on Red Delicious. At least it's not a nasty sour Green 🤢

get help

No thank you. I will die on the hill of hating sour apples Idgaf Lol Sweet apples all the way.

listen, i don't like sour apples either but red delicious apples are not where it's at

They aren't the only apple I like but I don't understand the hate Pink Lady's are ones that folks respect that I enjoy.

they have the nastiest texture and are not as full of wonderful flavor. they are very sad apples.

It’s the texture. Red deliciouses are mealy and gross.

They clearly work for big apple. Avoid.

…in the era of no FDA oversight

There is nothing delicious about that breed of apple. Nothing.

applerankings.com/red-deliciou...

Yeah, but your interpretation of that "grim" fairy tale is "woke," and that is "Verboten!"

Red delicious doesn’t keep or travel well, but I have found them in season at a farmers market and they were delicious; the food industry picks them green, refrigerates, and ripens them with ethylene gas, ruining the flavor and texture (cold storage gives them a mealy texture)

That's bananas. Apples and most tree fruits are picked ripe and degrade right away. Humans don't want them ripe, they want them after the starches turn to sugars. Tree fruits are put into stasis to be kept longer with CO2 gas. But the ethylene gas is for bananas.

Thanks for that information; ultimately, the point was that they degrade when stored, and they taste better fresh off the tree. We only had plums, kiwis, figs, and berries, because it was too hot for apples, where we lived. Relatives in Delaware had apples and pears in the garden.

Other apple varieties are much better than red delicious and dont have to be eaten right off the tree.

Worst. Apple. Ever. -Everyone

Granny Smith, baby!!

😃

Red delicious apple: it tastes so bad you’ll think you’re poisoned.

So mealy. Agree.

Apparently, red dye came from bugs. So I guess that's something to be wary about

Granny Smith would never

Was thinking about Golden delicious but Granny s the best absolutely.

Nasty ass, tasteless apple vaiety.

The whole debacle could've been avoided if she just preferred honeycrisp

you go to a grocery store and all they got is red delicious? they ain't got good schools

I avoided all red apples for decades.

Those things... Red? yes. Delicious? no.

Saw for 3rd time today. Snow White 2025 is a tale for our times

They may be red but they are absolutely not delicious. Their naming was a marketing scheme to get people to buy them.

immaculate post. 10/10

Snow White is also a story about polyamory! Why do you think some versions of the dwarves are called Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday?

Or was she Eve? The world may never know. #DarkDisney

then may i die from eating an apple

Should have been an Envy Apple...

Now you're in the ballpark.

applerankings.com/red-deliciou... It's one of the best websites

An apple a day brings the dwarves out to pray.

😲

Mealy AF

... "A red delicious" what? WHAT IS RED AND DELICIOUS?!

It's the velveta of apples

She was just feeling Grumpy.

Envy. Always Envy

@reddelapplehate.bsky.social These are your people

Indeed they are. Welcome to the fold weary pilgrims. Let us all hate the red delicious apple in harmony.

if a wandering crone handed me a cosmic crisp, i wouldn’t even care if it was poisoned.

Thank you

Cosmic Crisp for life. ✊

Shoulda stuck with granny Smith

I can see that. They are some of the blandest.

honestly my takeaway as a child

Does @nickabbot.bsky.social @lbc.co.uk know this?

They’re mealy half the time. Never really crisp. 3/10

I think you're being generous 😕

In the past, there may have been over 30,000 different apple varieties, I highly doubt that 'red delicious' was one of them.

where's my grapple gang at 🗣️🗣️

All could’ve been avoided if she had she just bit into the Cosmic Crisp in the neighboring orchard.

Second post about a Cosmic Crisp, and I am just now learning they exist??

You gotta get some when you can. Nice snap, flavorful. Just a great apple

Red Delicious apples get it half right.

I got a clip on twitch from a friend like... maybe a decade ago in some costume game where she was wearing an apple costume. she randomly sang "red delicious apples are not actually delicious" and since I was going to take some music classes in college, I promised to remix it, but procrastination 😅

They nasty.

I have always thought this. Thank you

they are delicious though...

thought it was about ODing on sedatives.

Most accurate post I've seen today.

red delicious what

Red delicious used to be a great apple, and then they screwed it up so it would travel better.

Or don’t accept apples from strangers, especially a hating ass witch.

Does anybody else remember eating red delicious slices out of a big barrel of water that smelled vaguely of soap? That's what I remember from elementary school. Think that's why I never liked 😝

Honeycrisp

So. Kind of like the Bible.

Pretty on the surface but fucking disgusting once you actually examine it? Yeah, sounds like an accurate comparison, except that the apples have at least some incidental value.

More like: never trust an apple. End of story.

eat a red delicious and sleep like the dead? Thank you, yes please

Truth

Pink Lady is my favourite.

Strangely , the Apple was more dangerous than 7 weird dwarfs with silly monikers. I think she was bored & finding no romantic interest amongst the legendary short-arses, feigned a coma to steal a kiss from a handsome prince. Some people of my acquaintance have done far worse....

Been seeing a lot of red delicious hate here recently. Good. It's been a long time coming!

Least favorite apple. I’m a Fuji / Honeycrisp kinda apple eater.

My grandfather who has owned a produce store in KY for 65 years loves to say " you thought you got a sweet apple but it Fuji" he thinks he's so funny.

All shine and no flavour

theyre good right off the branch and a whole 5 minutes thereafter.

And approach all midgets that have “identified issues” with caution…

😂😂😂

I prefer a Granny Smith, myself.

Eating a Red Delicious and thinking it won't be dry and mealy. Every fucking time!

A delicious red what?

True. Tasting red delicious put me into an immediate coma.

Fruit Roll Ups.

Zero upsides

"she is in a sleep like death, what happened?" She ate a grainy disgusting fruit masquerading as an apple.

The 7 rolled her corpse into a crystal box to decompose for all to see. A few days later, a prince rode by and asked, "I don't have one of those, can I get it?" "K." Said the Seven.

Yeah. Better to stick with coated nuts and a good IPA.

Cleveland has entered the chat: youtu.be/LuiKCeBACeE

They do suck. Fibrous, thick skin, barely any sweetness. Why she wanted to eat that cardboard flavored fruit is a mystery.

are you saying none of this would have happened if she at a granny smith apple?

Are they even apples?

Arrrgh it's all mealy and bland! *Falls into coma*

To think there were at least 14,000 apple varieties in the USA in the 1800s! If you get the chance to try any heritage varieties, don't miss out. We are so used to flavorless apples that it is hard to believe they weren't always like that. My favorite of those I've tried is the Esopus Spitzenberg.

they always gave me an itchy mouth, makes sense

Red "delicious" - definitely a marketing ploy!!

Crap Apple

I think often of the bit: Let’s play two truths and a lie! Inventor of the red delicious apple: I’ll go first.

No, it's a cautionary tale about accepting things to eat from strangers

If someone handed me a red delicious that I 100% knew was not poisonous, I'd throw it on the ground

Pump that garbage in another man's face!

Is that Sam Hyde?

Andy Samberg

And accepting any food from a stranger who comes to your door

🤣🤣🤣

Red delicious apples barely qualify as fruit

…because a cosmic crisp is far superior.

Always slightly disappointed

Worst apple ever. Manchineel apples likely taste better but we’ll never know as they are incredibly poisonous.

And not to fuck with women over 50

Those apples are indeed deadly

They are red. They are not delicious.

they taste like mold

Agreed

not any more

Omg dry af. How many times it's gotten stuck in my throat!!!! I've almost keeled over, too.

She should have gotten a Honey Crisp.

Pink Lady uber alles. Even tried Cosmic Crisp recently and the Lady still rules.

ü So you have one, next time 😃

Appreciate. I def know how to spell it, just lazy.

Red Mediocre is more accurate

it has prevented me from the disgusting mealy texture of the red so-called delicious my whole life and I am forever indebted to mrs. White

Red delicious should be banned

Nobody voluntarily eats that gross mushy apple

When you get an end of season meely one...

Stick to the honeycrisp

If it’s not a jazz apple I don’t want to know

Jazz are the best varietal, bite me.

Red Delicious apples are named as such because they actually used to be quite delicious! But over time, the strain naturally mutated and they lost their once highly prized flavor.

It would have never happened with a Pink Lady or a Granny Smith!

Shoulda had a pink lady. 🤷🏻

preach. 🤘

Cosmic crisp is the superior apple Fight me

Never heard of this breed. Now I’m on a Cosmic Apple quest!!!!

They’re my favorite. 🍎

My favorite apple!

Top

The Queen of all Apples!

Seriously.! 👑🍎

Second worst apple. Worst ever is Roman Beauty. Just awful.

I dare say it was a Macintosh.

Also, don't take food from strange witches. Youda thunk knowing an evil queen was trying to kill you would make one cautious.

living with seven dudes is already a LOT.

Or Red, as they should be known as.

Red Delicious are the precise reason some people think they hate apples but they actually don't.

but I love red delicious'; its right there in the name they're delicious!

Granny Smith all the way.

l like honey crisps

Those things are awful.

Ugh. Red Delicious? I don’t think so. There are many other apples that taste amazing as well as look amazing. A Red Delicious only looks amazing.

Not advisable!

Also what a treacherous, deceitful name for an apple. Because they are not delicious.

Red Delicious is like a condom filled with water-flavored custard. This post was brought to you by the Honeycrisp Mafia.

That reminds me of...

Could be cursed (a bit mushy and not that delicious actually).

Wouldn't have happened if she chomped a Granny Smith

Fine but my mom tells every mirror/me that I am the fairest in the land. Did SW ever try a sweet potato. Or treats.

It's a garbage fruit.

thats why i like blue more than anything

Clearly it is a trick because the red delicious apples may actually be the least delicious of all the apples.