This is why I'm mad at every church that displays a crucifix ...how can he be a carpenter, if you keep his hands nailed 🤷‍♂️

This is what they said about Jesus but his legacy really stood the test of time. People still talking about his greatest hits. And a few really dedicated weirdos are VERY into his deep cuts.

::acoustic strumming:: You know who else was a carpenter

::eerie theremin playing:: you know who else was named Sabrina?

she acting like a sexy lady this is not okay

I mean similar album covers from the past have been seen as problematic for some time. So time will be the judge I suppose.

no i will be the judge and its good

That is the most words anybody has ever used to spell a fart noise

lmao

I understand the truth is a tough pill to swallow. So I understand you feel the need to distance yourself from it. It’s ok buddy. Everything will be ok. Don’t you worry.

It’s uncanny. You have the power to strip clean of any meaning, entire paragraphs of actual words with actual meaning. It’s like a reverse Shakespeare

That’s the best you got? Really. I know you can do better than that. That’s not even good if I’m being honest so I’ll give you another try. Now bring your A game.

There oughta be a law

I remember a bunch of articles like "You aren't looking at the album covers correctly" and like... no, I know what I'm doing here?

This isn't rocket science.

And yet…wood!

or witchcraft

Her real name is Sabrina Carpeter

She's no Jesus

Stolen Valor

You know what I’ll say it: the hair pull needs to be kinkier

The Carpenters got away with it for too long

farrrrr too long!

No psychic Pokemon either

She might be dealing with some wood?

You're gonna be so mad when you learn about that other one who's been topping the charts without ever doing any tayloring

I think the album is alright except for the thick layer of jack antonoff's new house style dragging everything down. everybody sounds like clairo now

Dan Auerbach is so much better as a producer

I always read this guy’s name as Jack Abramoff.

I tire of Jack Antonoff. Whoever did her production on Emails I Can’t Send has to get back in the building STAT

I really liked both .fun and Bleachers and it is annoying to me personally that Antonoff has taken this hopefully-temporary turn

I was never a true antonoff hater but the dude has had a lazy few years at the board

Oh, so lotta reverb?

Too literal. She likes getting nailed.

idk I'm pretty sure she's about to do some wood working

I dont even think shes that good of a teenage witch

I wish she would feature her father, John Carpenter, more. It’s weird how they don’t collab.

Wouldn't he be more like, her great-grandfather by age. :D

That's because she's a qualified welder

Yeah word. I was similarly disappointed when I went to a Tyler the Creator live show and he did not magically manifest items out of thin air, fucking letdown

False advertising at the very least.

and when I went to the eras tour and Taylor Swift had NO tailors swiftly walking by... so disappointed 😔

Surprised there's not a Swift Tailor in every city by now

lmaooo real 😭

Right? FALSE ADVERTISING

Karen didn’t either.

*youth pastor voice* i can think of a carpenter you should listen to

I haven't listened to the album, is it good?

oh I thought I was on the wrong side for a second 😭

None of the standard safety equipment or proper work wear. Not enough sturdy shoes. Borderline negligent. Cowboy shit