Cherry kirsch

It's called Üllr, and its like licorice ice.

Laphroaig or Fernet with this stuff would be a disaster.

Malibu coconut rum! Call it a Gray Water System.

That's horrible, well done

I was proud of my suggestion but yours is better.

The Insecticide is nothing to be ashamed of

Why fight against the flavouring? Might as well go with ouzo or Sambuca or Anisette. Add a coffee bean for luck (yuck — I HATE liquorice!)

Absinthe

Gin might clash nicely, I'd think.

This is clearly a job for smoked salmon infused vodka.

I would say Opal because it’s really … something, but not sure about doubling up on the licorice flavor. Maybe make a spritzer with some sparkling Shiraz?

Opal Nera

Oh wow, that would sell like hot cakes in Finland.

Do hot cakes sell well in Finland?

Of course. It's a cake country.

i came here to suggest salmiakki eheheh

Everclear.

Salmari.

Enter the twizzler. Maybe this is actually the best combo.

Oh huh, I bet that would be good with Becherovka

It’s extremely good. Fresh strawberry, not ton sweet. I also like Matchbook’s strawberry, but that one is more like strawberry jam and a bit of vinegar. Both great, dif vibes

Goldschläger

Cucumber vodka

Really drive the licorice taste home and mix it some Ouzo.

Or if we want vodka might I suggest this:

Advocaat

I'm gonna fold, you win and I haven’t even played my hand hahahaha

Ethanol - the fuel

Someone said Malort but I’d go a step further into awful and say malort and fernet

The replies here are far, far too classy. This needs either Boone's Strawberry Hill or Mad Dog 20/20.

Brennivín

mad dog 20/20

For everyone suggesting malort, you're not thinking big enough.

now we're getting somewhere

That cannot be wine!!

oh no

ok but hear me out: add to a Fogcutter

Four Loko and well tequila, drop in a sugar cube soaked in Malört and brake fluid. Serve with a salvia garnish you’re required to smoke first.

Bailey's.

Ouzo

Of course!

Fernet Branca

I actually think it might be good with Fernet

Gotta be Nordic man, maybe mix it with #Aquavit and sell it in Finland. Rim of the glass with sodium chloride to give it that #Salmiakki kick. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akvavit

My initial thought was malort or jagermeister, but doubling down on citrus/licorice aspect seems a bit questionable. I think it needs something with assertive body but different flavor profile. Maybe Laphroaig?

Oh yeah some peat in there

This might be the best worst answer because it’d be a tragic waste of Laphroaig. A lot of the other answers involve booze I wouldn’t feel bad about pouring down the drain.

I do agree that it would be quite unfair to Laphroaig!

if not salmiakki, bailey’s irish cream

The underage-drunkest I ever got was by adding a Green Apple Smirnoff floater to a mug of straight Jaeger. This offers the option of experiencing that taste and living to remember it.

Red Label

malort

Oh come on, that's the easy answer. Malort makes everything the worst.

Malort's primary ingredient is wormwood. Add this to it and you've just made absinthe.

@sifu.tweety.fish @unlikelywords.bsky.social

Jerry let him cook.

I think it might actually cancel out some of the badness. The combination would overwhelm the human tongue entirely and numb the brain to the horror of what is happening.

Like an alcohol version of The Flavor?

Hpnotiq?

Salmiakki liquor

The most disastrous use of either Arak or Ouzo with an added layer of Baileys just in case the anise overload didn’t kill you, here’s some cocoa creaminess to make it ✨ so much worse ✨

Green chartreuse. The clash of flavors would be absolutely foul.

You won’t top Fanta Fernet, you just won’t, unless you can find some Aquavit

Oh damn. My local has fernet on tap. I may need to try this.

Pure grain alcohol, rub the rim of the glass with tiger balm.

It’s called an “Insecticide.”

Really cheap cachaca or maybe rum agricole.

Soco. The frats can call the resulting motor oil beset with leathery swirls a southern discomfort. Superficially sweet to your face, overwhelmingly cruel the moment you lose sight of it.

"Two per customer. No Gentleman would ask for more."

Mescal.

Inspired

creme de menthe, and I'd layer it

amaro montenegro for a real hell base

Existential question of whether an amaro diluted with a sparkling soda is just a spritz

…Malort. Or actual Absinthe.

Absinthe is an interesting proposition because it's also got licorice notes. I wonder if it would be more or less noticeable as a result.

I’m voting absinthe or brennavin

Jägermeister

Obviously the answer is Jägermeister. Double licorice.

winetoship.com/products/99-...

Jager

Jagermeister. Double licorice...🤢🤢🤢

Well, if it's a "highball" you're mixing, the 1950's are screaming for "Sloe Gin" and a tiny umbrella.

Advocaat.

Radicchio Grappa

Ron De Jeremy Spiced Rum

I’m torn between Fireball or Baijiu.

Absinthe

Rumple Minze

Black licorice carbonated beverage? Who the fuck would drink that?

I was going to say Gammeldansk and Moxie with a salt rim but then I realized that would be the the *best* cocktail possible