me: “The language of the universe is mathematics” MY YOUNGER CHILD: “lol no it’s my booty” me: “……factually incorrect. it’s actually math”
Replies
The child has a point. I’m disappointed you failed to appreciate the significance of said booty.
aug 30, 2025, 2:48 am • 3 0 • view
One of those messages will win in the primary, the other in the general
aug 30, 2025, 2:42 am • 7 0 • view
The problem is we don’t know which is which
aug 30, 2025, 2:43 am • 5 0 • view
Actually factually, wouldn’t that be…ath?
aug 30, 2025, 3:07 am • 3 0 • view
………boooooooooo
aug 30, 2025, 3:56 am • 4 0 • view
Hey, you don’t ass, you don’t know!
aug 30, 2025, 3:57 am • 3 0 • view
We think. To be fair, we haven't really surveyed the rest of the universe on the topic. We haven't even toured the damn place.
aug 30, 2025, 4:09 am • 3 0 • view
Props to yer bairn for the banter!! 🤣 Chris you’re a solid dude man… the minuteI saw the footage of you RESISTING… I fucking knew!! You are one of the GOOD guys 🙌 Not an exercise, on my part, in blowing smoke up yer backside… I just want to say thank you man! Keep on keepin’ on 🤜🤛 imho “LOVE” 👇
aug 30, 2025, 4:47 am • 4 0 • view
…is THE Universal language! And my booty! 😉❤️
aug 30, 2025, 4:47 am • 3 0 • view
My 4yo grandson & I were returning to my son’s house after a very successful bug hunt (we had several roly-polys & a cricket in the bug bucket). We were walking up the stairs to the apt & I told gson to hold onto the railing. He said, “it’s called a banister Tee-tee!”
aug 30, 2025, 5:24 am • 4 1 • view
is your younger child 5, by any chance? because that sounds just like my little grandson.
aug 30, 2025, 2:38 am • 4 0 • view
15 :/
aug 30, 2025, 2:42 am • 9 0 • view
ah. so you've been having this kind of conversation for awhile. lucky. :)
aug 30, 2025, 2:44 am • 5 0 • view
Your grandson will still occasionally sound like that at 15. Maybe less often around you. But… (no pun intended…)
aug 30, 2025, 6:57 am • 0 0 • view
😂
aug 30, 2025, 4:38 am • 1 0 • view
Are they aware of The Booty Scooty from Teen Titans Go! ? If not, don’t show it to them. It’s stupidly catchy. scoot scoot scoot that booty booty… 😂😭
aug 30, 2025, 2:43 am • 4 0 • view
GARBAGE CHILDREN
aug 30, 2025, 2:46 am • 4 0 • view
Love that "in your butt" stage. Somehow my kids never grew out of it.
aug 30, 2025, 4:41 am • 5 0 • view
Solid debate prep
aug 30, 2025, 2:36 pm • 1 0 • view
We tell our son it’s all physics.
aug 30, 2025, 2:46 am • 5 0 • view
Everything is fluid dynamics on a long enough timeline
aug 30, 2025, 2:49 am • 8 1 • view
Maybe your son will discover a new crack in the space-time continuum
aug 30, 2025, 2:58 am • 5 0 • view
Daughter..he has girls
aug 30, 2025, 2:57 pm • 0 0 • view
If your rebuttal wasn't "your booty can be explained by math" than I'm very disappointed in you.
aug 30, 2025, 5:03 am • 5 0 • view
No, you are both wrong. It is MY booty
aug 30, 2025, 6:46 am • 3 0 • view
Sounds like you're raising one of my boys. Well done! 😂
aug 30, 2025, 4:49 am • 3 0 • view
I just watched The Life of Chuck and thought this was in reference to the movie.
aug 30, 2025, 3:01 am • 1 0 • view
…..flatulently incorrect would have been way cooler.
aug 30, 2025, 2:43 am • 3 0 • view
Somebody go get the George Michael SNL bit! "You can calibrate instruments by it, it's so perfect."
aug 30, 2025, 2:36 am • 4 0 • view
Uh…physicist Dr. Brian May says my booty—and those of other large-posteriored women—makes the rockin’ world go ‘round. So your child may be on to something.
aug 30, 2025, 2:38 am • 44 1 • view
Bonus points for both moxie and swagger, though.
aug 30, 2025, 2:45 am • 4 0 • view
I believe the proper nomenclature is “rizz,” dude
aug 30, 2025, 2:48 am • 4 0 • view
I am not "down" with the lingo, as I am An Old.
aug 30, 2025, 2:52 am • 6 0 • view
2 cheeks equal one bum. Where's your math now, Einstein?
aug 30, 2025, 2:37 am • 19 0 • view
E equals DEEZ NUTS SQUARED, SUCK ON THAT, NERD
aug 30, 2025, 2:40 am • 20 0 • view
*imagines squared nuts like square watermelons and backs away slowly*
aug 30, 2025, 2:49 am • 11 0 • view
look, the Minecraft Movie was a real cultural catastrophe
aug 30, 2025, 2:50 am • 12 0 • view
My understanding is that kids were doing inappropriate things in the theater. I just had no idea what.
aug 30, 2025, 2:54 am • 7 0 • view
aug 30, 2025, 3:02 am • 2 0 • view
Booty, beets...Battlestar Galactica.
aug 30, 2025, 2:37 am • 6 0 • view
It's a Battlestar Galactica kinda day.
aug 30, 2025, 11:27 am • 1 0 • view
Hit the playa's club for about a month or two. Put his hand on it then see what it do.
aug 30, 2025, 2:39 am • 3 0 • view
This is the kind of bold new thinking we need in these confusing times.
aug 30, 2025, 2:37 am • 7 0 • view
New Math!
aug 30, 2025, 2:41 am • 7 0 • view
But you can’t take three from two. Two is less than three. You have to look at the four in the eights place.
aug 30, 2025, 2:47 am • 5 0 • view
aug 30, 2025, 2:49 am • 7 0 • view
Kid’s got a point! I believe noted astrophysicist Sir Brian May came to a conclusion on what makes the world go round back in the 70s.
aug 30, 2025, 3:54 am • 4 0 • view
Aw, the booty stage, where fart noises rule.
aug 30, 2025, 2:50 am • 4 0 • view
Wait. That’s a ‘stage’!?
aug 30, 2025, 3:03 am • 1 0 • view
Yeah, when my husband would start laughing along with the boys at just the dumbest kid-crude stuff… I mean they “damaged” my sense of humor, but yeah, turns out that is a pretty timeless guy thing…
aug 30, 2025, 6:55 am • 2 0 • view
I mean, he ain’t wrong
aug 30, 2025, 4:12 pm • 1 0 • view
Wow how does it feel to be defeated in the marketplace of ideas.
aug 30, 2025, 2:37 am • 62 0 • view
About to start selling horse paste tbh
aug 30, 2025, 2:41 am • 27 1 • view
5 years later and the win is otc ivermectin for humans and eliminating the covid vaccine…wtf
aug 30, 2025, 4:30 am • 3 0 • view
tick & tock hands on a clock re-imagining creation with just a piece of chalk adding labels creates limits rules re-invent the math science spikes the punch o' how the scientists laugh the universe is magic it becomes what you will it be it’s an endless box of Legos waiting for you & me
aug 30, 2025, 3:22 am • 0 0 • view
in it, God exist to those described as mystics for those who worship science God’s true name is physics we’re probes sent out by nothing to discover that which is we question & investigate our lives are one long quiz.
aug 30, 2025, 3:22 am • 0 0 • view
we are always right & wrong truth should leave us numb we’re lyrics in a song the universe must hum we’re turning over rocks checking what nature did we’re studying the shadows and everything that’s hid
aug 30, 2025, 3:22 am • 0 0 • view
our minds manufacture logic but they're powered by magic dust if the magic grows too weak our god-damned minds will rust so, society is a golem cold & lined with lead and we’re nothing more than gears inside its clockwork head Title: Clockwork Poet: Koyoteelaughter
aug 30, 2025, 3:22 am • 1 0 • view
Naw let them cook
aug 30, 2025, 4:02 am • 3 0 • view
I wish they would cook, then someone else would finally make dinner :/
aug 30, 2025, 4:12 am • 6 0 • view
😳😄🥳🤣
aug 30, 2025, 4:31 am • 3 0 • view
I was told there would be no math!
aug 30, 2025, 5:12 am • 2 0 • view
Lolz 😂
aug 30, 2025, 2:35 am • 1 0 • view
Your kid here with the scientific discovery of a generation, and you shoot him down in favor of traditional doctrine.
aug 30, 2025, 2:38 am • 4 0 • view
I'll bet his booty could be described mathematically.
aug 30, 2025, 2:36 am • 4 0 • view
And vice versa!
aug 30, 2025, 2:37 am • 1 0 • view
Mathematician here. It can be two things.
aug 30, 2025, 3:03 am • 12 0 • view
………Schrödinger disagrees (after you’ve observed it)
aug 30, 2025, 3:55 am • 8 0 • view
Covered in quantum foam
aug 30, 2025, 4:00 am • 5 0 • view
Bet he now goes and gets himself a Fields medal for the Universal Booty Conjecture.
aug 30, 2025, 2:49 am • 2 0 • view
Man, I hope you do better than this in the Assembly debates.
aug 30, 2025, 2:45 am • 5 0 • view
Joke’s on them, I’m just gonna respond to everything with “nuh uh, my BUTT” and then they won’t know what to say and everyone will vote for my bills because that’s how it works
aug 30, 2025, 2:48 am • 10 0 • view
Originalism!
aug 30, 2025, 3:08 am • 3 0 • view
aug 30, 2025, 2:40 am • 7 0 • view
Great callback.
aug 30, 2025, 2:47 am • 3 0 • view
Ass of tot happens a lot in graphing though. That's something!
aug 30, 2025, 2:51 am • 6 0 • view
Something something sine something something tangent something something
aug 30, 2025, 2:55 am • 6 0 • view
You know what something monkey butt something
aug 30, 2025, 2:57 am • 7 0 • view
Fibonacci booty, perhaps?
aug 30, 2025, 2:38 am • 4 0 • view
Kid is going to be star
aug 30, 2025, 12:50 pm • 1 0 • view
I’d like to subscribe to the child’s newsletter
aug 30, 2025, 4:33 am • 3 0 • view
📌
aug 30, 2025, 6:53 am • 0 0 • view
That is the result of S tier parenting
aug 30, 2025, 7:38 am • 3 0 • view
Tell me he farted musically for the win.
aug 30, 2025, 2:37 am • 3 0 • view
…alas
aug 30, 2025, 2:41 am • 4 0 • view
It sounds like you've raised a pair of smartasses. I can come to no other conclusion that you and your wife are doing an excellent job as parents.
aug 30, 2025, 3:01 am • 6 0 • view
Child: *fart noise*
aug 30, 2025, 2:37 am • 8 0 • view
Every moment your child spends playing is a moment they could be solving differential equations
aug 30, 2025, 2:38 am • 11 1 • view
I'm off to the whiteboard to create a bum-shaped manifold.
aug 30, 2025, 3:27 am • 4 0 • view
Wait'll they find math kicking their booty at the worst possible time
aug 30, 2025, 4:20 am • 5 0 • view
It’s functions. It’s always functions
aug 30, 2025, 4:28 am • 7 1 • view
*Dad Joke incoming* Well.... That's its function
aug 30, 2025, 5:05 am • 6 0 • view
Haha!
aug 30, 2025, 2:36 am • 1 0 • view
Kid may be on to something.
aug 30, 2025, 2:38 am • 3 0 • view
Glad to hear you're raising the next generation of pirates ☠️
aug 30, 2025, 5:06 pm • 1 0 • view
Is the youngest 5? My grandkids everything is butt or poop related.
aug 30, 2025, 4:39 am • 3 0 • view
15
aug 30, 2025, 4:42 am • 4 0 • view
😂
aug 30, 2025, 5:27 am • 4 0 • view
Oh great. So not just a phase then? Thanks.
aug 30, 2025, 4:43 am • 3 0 • view
[In my best John Hurt impression] "DOCTOR...Eleanor...Arroway. Why build one when you can have two for twice the price? Wanna go for a ride?"
aug 30, 2025, 3:44 am • 1 0 • view
"Big-boo-TAY!" - John Bigboote
aug 30, 2025, 11:58 am • 1 0 • view