shame the ancient world discovered the planets and named em after their stupid gods like "jupiter" and "saturn." if we named them today we coulda had cool planets like "money" and "xbox"
Replies
“Coca-Cola”
jul 27, 2025, 2:44 am • 1 0 • view
They’d more likely be named ‘Trumpworld’, ‘Planet of America’ and ‘Muskworld’ (actually, I think that’s Elon’s plan for Mars).
jul 27, 2025, 8:02 am • 0 0 • view
Make Uranus Great Again
jul 27, 2025, 8:23 am • 1 0 • view
Those are great names for Elon’s weird kids.
jul 27, 2025, 5:10 am • 0 0 • view
Thank you, someone else that calls a spade a spade. Hidden message your telling the world.
jul 27, 2025, 4:43 am • 0 0 • view
I think they'd be more specific e.g. Tesla and Apple.
jul 27, 2025, 2:42 am • 1 0 • view
or X instead of Jupiter
jul 27, 2025, 2:14 am • 0 0 • view
#thisisanxbox
jul 27, 2025, 7:28 am • 0 0 • view
The planets would have sponsored names. Microsoft's gas giant Mars Candy planet. Gillette's Venus Disney's Pluto.
jul 27, 2025, 2:21 am • 1 0 • view
After what happened the Gulf of Mexico I would not be surprised if there was some stupidity attempted.
jul 27, 2025, 5:18 pm • 0 0 • view
The IBM stellar sphere, the Microsoft galaxy, planet Starbucks.
jul 27, 2025, 10:56 am • 1 0 • view
Planet McPlanet Face.
jul 27, 2025, 2:18 am • 1 0 • view
Planet Skibidi
jul 27, 2025, 2:19 am • 1 0 • view
Hahahaha - funny
jul 27, 2025, 9:16 pm • 0 0 • view
Or Target and its neighbor Walmart: Low, Low Prices Every Day
jul 27, 2025, 2:07 am • 0 0 • view
Mercury - Dinky Venus - Edna Earth - Grover Mars - Small Grover Saturn - Betty White Jupiter - Big Grover Uranus - Free Wifi Neptune - Don’t bring your problems here
jul 27, 2025, 1:39 am • 3 0 • view
👍🏼😂😂
jul 27, 2025, 2:03 am • 0 0 • view
Weed
jul 27, 2025, 1:02 pm • 0 0 • view
Nowadays they'd just sell the naming rights, like sport stadiums
jul 27, 2025, 2:34 am • 3 0 • view
Which one do you reckon would have been named taco?
jul 27, 2025, 4:13 am • 0 0 • view
mcrib brought to you by kars 4 kids
jul 27, 2025, 2:37 am • 4 0 • view
Don’t loose hope, the galaxy is eventually we will find the galaxy called “Star wars” (I tried so hard for this joke) to re enact the battle in a galaxy far far away…That or we get a planet called “JoJo world” or “Animatronica” (wonder how long till these are forced truths?)
jul 27, 2025, 4:20 am • 1 0 • view
On a clear evening you can see Sponsored by Pepsi a Space Experience of Rings(tm) with a good telescope.
jul 27, 2025, 1:08 am • 23 1 • view
Trump is going to change the names to confederate generals!
jul 27, 2025, 3:10 am • 0 0 • view
Or something like Planet Hollywood, brought to you by Verizon.
jul 27, 2025, 8:32 am • 0 0 • view
🤫trump may try to change their names to America 1, America 2, America 3….
jul 27, 2025, 3:04 am • 0 0 • view
Lol lo lol
jul 27, 2025, 1:28 am • 0 0 • view
This asteroid belt is brought to you by our partners at Mountain Dew...
jul 27, 2025, 10:36 am • 2 0 • view
I’ll run with South Park Galaxy
jul 27, 2025, 1:13 am • 4 0 • view
We should be glad that they were polytheistic
jul 27, 2025, 2:47 am • 0 0 • view
hamburger
jul 27, 2025, 7:15 pm • 1 0 • view
Or Spacey McSpaceface
jul 27, 2025, 4:50 am • 0 0 • view
Don't lose heart. We're finding new planets every day. Just really far away
jul 27, 2025, 3:46 am • 1 0 • view
Climate Pledge Planet T-Mobile Planet Astra-Zenica Planet Viagra Earth 2: The Earthening
jul 27, 2025, 1:39 am • 3 0 • view
Planet Crypto seems ok.
jul 27, 2025, 2:14 am • 0 0 • view
David Bowie would have written a song called Life On NSFW?
jul 27, 2025, 1:53 am • 1 0 • view
They'd change names every so often once sponsorship deals ran out. The one with the rings? That used to be Planet Starbucks but now it's the Chevron Gas Giant
jul 27, 2025, 6:32 am • 6 0 • view
Is the rizzler truly a planet or a dwarf planet
jul 27, 2025, 1:46 am • 2 0 • view
the planets should have nicknames by now. at least the ones we feel we know well enough.
jul 27, 2025, 2:20 am • 2 0 • view
You jest but Herschel named the planet he discovered, George. It was later named Uranus and become the butt of jokes, anyway. It was discovered after the renaissance so it was discovered by the modern world. Pluto, originally labelled a planet, was discovered by modern science, in the 1930s.
jul 27, 2025, 1:44 am • 3 0 • view
Or Grok?
jul 27, 2025, 4:06 am • 1 0 • view
Oh heck, if we can demote a planet, we can rename a planet!
jul 27, 2025, 2:07 am • 0 0 • view
They would be called Elon 1-3, Bezos Planet and Pepsi Presents Cherry-Cola Planet
jul 27, 2025, 1:49 am • 0 0 • view
MFs tried to name a planet "George" smh Thank fk planet "Your Anus" stuck
jul 27, 2025, 2:18 am • 0 0 • view
I woulda loved a planet Snoopy
jul 27, 2025, 5:59 am • 4 0 • view
we could have had it all
jul 27, 2025, 6:00 am • 2 0 • view
the Greeks fucked us from the jump
jul 27, 2025, 6:01 am • 2 0 • view
Skibidi planet
jul 27, 2025, 2:25 am • 9 0 • view
Another would be Ohio
jul 27, 2025, 6:26 am • 1 0 • view
I disagree. It would be the Capital One nebula, the ring on Chase, the red planet of Bank of America.
jul 27, 2025, 4:53 am • 3 0 • view
More likely planets would have sponsors: planet Amazon, planet formerly called Twitter, the rings of Microsoft...
jul 27, 2025, 1:43 am • 3 0 • view
Like subsidized time: infinitejest.wallacewiki.com/david-foster...
jul 27, 2025, 5:46 am • 0 0 • view
I dunno, Uranus is the sort of name South Park would've given a planet.
jul 27, 2025, 8:24 am • 2 0 • view
10/10
jul 27, 2025, 1:43 am • 2 0 • view
Let's leave those names for Musk to use.
jul 27, 2025, 5:04 am • 0 0 • view
Would Pluto be named hypocrisy?
jul 27, 2025, 5:04 am • 0 0 • view
Or maybe accountability?
jul 27, 2025, 5:05 am • 0 0 • view
Roundy McRoundface Gassy McGasface etc
jul 27, 2025, 11:55 am • 0 0 • view
They would have named the moons of Uranus after the Kardashian sisters....
jul 27, 2025, 7:46 am • 0 0 • view
'Planety McPlanetFace.'
jul 27, 2025, 6:06 am • 2 0 • view
I'd love to look into the night sky and see planet Amazon™
jul 27, 2025, 4:38 am • 2 0 • view
Today in the news, a probe sent to Xbox crash on the planets surface when its parachute failed to open.
jul 28, 2025, 12:42 am • 2 0 • view
this is a shitpost please do not argue with me about this as i do not actually believe this
jul 27, 2025, 1:07 am • 82 1 • view
oh no, please, let them come, I wanna read that shit
jul 27, 2025, 1:09 am • 6 0 • view
you know what? you right
jul 27, 2025, 1:15 am • 3 0 • view
free material!
jul 27, 2025, 1:18 am • 3 0 • view
i believe it tho
jul 27, 2025, 6:06 pm • 3 0 • view
Riiight. That sounds like something an alien from planet Money would say...
jul 27, 2025, 4:09 pm • 1 0 • view
It's true this is actually a way more moderate stance than her actual belief
jul 27, 2025, 2:12 am • 12 0 • view
Too late
jul 27, 2025, 7:17 am • 1 0 • view
i really wanted to even though I don't know the specifics myself
jul 27, 2025, 12:53 pm • 0 0 • view
Planet Xbox, sponsored by Microsoft. Assassins Creed, the official game of Planet Xbox.
jul 27, 2025, 12:29 pm • 5 0 • view
What if we form a spontaneous cult and start worshiping you, even if you don't want it? That's happened before.
jul 27, 2025, 10:41 pm • 0 0 • view
Today's gods are musk, bezos, thiel, other billionaires, and today's king of the gods, trump. I think we dodged a bullet naming planets after mythological characters.
jul 27, 2025, 12:41 pm • 0 0 • view
the moon would be crowd sourced and it would be Mooney McMoonface
jul 27, 2025, 1:09 am • 16 0 • view
If only they coulda planet out that way...
jul 27, 2025, 5:55 am • 0 0 • view
planety mc planet face
jul 27, 2025, 4:14 am • 1 0 • view
With video game planet naming we could still have a Saturn, at least
jul 27, 2025, 1:18 am • 5 0 • view
Planet McPlanetface
jul 27, 2025, 1:37 am • 2 0 • view
I’d always be ready for a trip to planet pizza.
jul 27, 2025, 8:35 am • 1 0 • view
Perhaps the Pumpkin Spice Palpatine could rename them like he did the Gulf of Mexico.
jul 27, 2025, 3:47 am • 1 0 • view
💙🧡
jul 27, 2025, 1:26 am • 0 0 • view
There's still time. Trump could give them the Gulf of Mexico treatment.
jul 27, 2025, 1:30 am • 0 0 • view
and probably uranus still
jul 27, 2025, 1:14 am • 8 0 • view
Only, spelled, 'Your Anus'.
jul 27, 2025, 1:19 am • 2 0 • view
Or Tesla.
jul 27, 2025, 11:45 am • 0 0 • view
Or "Planety McPlanetface"
jul 27, 2025, 7:10 am • 9 0 • view
Came here for this one! 😂😂😂😂
jul 27, 2025, 10:10 am • 0 0 • view
add the first and we keep it moving
jul 27, 2025, 12:58 pm • 0 0 • view
🤣
jul 27, 2025, 1:50 pm • 0 0 • view
I'm totally in xbox gatorade right now 🤣
jul 27, 2025, 1:29 am • 2 0 • view
Or Rizz. Or Skibidi.
jul 27, 2025, 1:10 am • 6 0 • view
came here to say skibidi 😂
jul 27, 2025, 1:24 am • 6 0 • view
I read this in the voice of Jason Mendoza from The Good Place
jul 27, 2025, 1:42 am • 6 0 • view
oh hell yeah
jul 27, 2025, 1:43 am • 2 0 • view
Shame the oligarchs that defame revered authors and (insert here) by naming their companies around their works: a la Palantir, Mithril, Anduril
jul 27, 2025, 8:22 am • 0 0 • view
Or planet mcplanetface
jul 27, 2025, 2:27 am • 1 0 • view
I will NOT allow Boaty McBoatface of a galactic scale....
jul 27, 2025, 12:21 pm • 0 0 • view
We had them named after corporate sponsors, that would change every 10-15 years.
jul 27, 2025, 12:47 pm • 0 0 • view
Old gods, new gods
jul 27, 2025, 2:26 am • 1 1 • view
jul 27, 2025, 2:51 am • 1 0 • view
[After studying abroad] you know, in Asia the name for xbox is Playstation
jul 27, 2025, 1:40 am • 10 0 • view
Haha😆😄😃
jul 27, 2025, 3:25 am • 0 0 • view
Spinzzler
jul 27, 2025, 2:04 am • 0 0 • view
Realistically they would probably be named the same way exoplanets are named
jul 27, 2025, 1:51 am • 2 0 • view
But this is a Capitalism Bad post so you’re not allowed to be rational about it. Especially if it involves space travel since obviously nobody except Musks cares about humans going to other planets
jul 27, 2025, 11:46 am • 0 0 • view
XBOX IS DOPE SINCE THEIR LOGO LOOKS LIKE ONE
jul 27, 2025, 10:06 am • 0 0 • view
welcome to my planetary system: spiceworld, wayne's world, and the real world: road rules
jul 27, 2025, 1:38 am • 10 0 • view
The Trumpian planets in order from the sun: Mendacity, Vacuous, Erstwhile, Malevolence, Jammer, Secretive, Unhinged, Nepotist, and finally Perp. (Just stop picking on Pluto y'all).
jul 27, 2025, 10:13 pm • 1 0 • view
I expected trumprot closer to the top
jul 28, 2025, 12:30 pm • 1 0 • view
bitcoin stadium, the third planet from the sun
jul 27, 2025, 1:11 am • 29 0 • view
Pluto - Nothing-to-see-here. Neptune - Primrose-Lane. Uranus - Look-a-squirrel. Saturn - Hard-times-ahead. Jupiter - Imagine-that. Mars - I-got-my-jam-in-your-butter.
jul 27, 2025, 3:06 am • 0 0 • view
I really don't want planetary entities be used for advertising videogame consoles or anything else.
jul 27, 2025, 2:46 am • 1 0 • view
Uranus is a god!
jul 27, 2025, 2:27 pm • 0 0 • view
We would end up with planet X Æ A-Xii and Amazon
jul 27, 2025, 2:06 am • 0 0 • view
Aren't those just our stupid gods? 🤣
jul 27, 2025, 1:46 am • 0 0 • view
Don’t be silly. We’d name the Planet McPlanetface. Or after Pokémon.
jul 27, 2025, 5:56 am • 0 0 • view
doge planet mcplanetface (hate this BS) some stupid meme name "Much planet"
jul 27, 2025, 8:12 am • 0 0 • view
And…our moon is still unnamed.
jul 27, 2025, 3:25 pm • 0 0 • view
And “sex”, “drugs” and “rock and roll”.
jul 27, 2025, 12:06 pm • 0 0 • view
funny funny twink jar
jul 27, 2025, 1:48 am • 1 0 • view
Uranus would retain its name
jul 27, 2025, 2:31 am • 2 0 • view
😂😂😂😂
jul 27, 2025, 1:39 am • 1 0 • view
So would Hades be named Trump and Thanatos be named RFK Jr.? 😏
jul 27, 2025, 12:40 pm • 1 0 • view
And who wouldn't want the "Big Balls" planet? 😁
jul 27, 2025, 3:53 am • 1 0 • view
I’m surprised Trump hasn’t renamed them all after himself.
jul 27, 2025, 1:05 pm • 0 0 • view
I wonder, would that have made Sailor Moon better or worse?
jul 27, 2025, 2:44 am • 0 0 • view
My daughter seconds that.
jul 27, 2025, 7:47 am • 0 0 • view
Or planet mcplanet face
jul 27, 2025, 3:56 am • 0 0 • view
Imagine being told your problems are because “Doritos is in retrograde”
jul 27, 2025, 1:25 am • 92 3 • view
But then all you need to do is eat all the Doritos and they can't be in retrograde anymore.
jul 27, 2025, 1:56 am • 1 0 • view
That’s funny af! 😂😂😂
jul 27, 2025, 2:08 am • 1 0 • view
Retrograde? Did you mean: "because Doritos is backin' that azz up?"
jul 27, 2025, 1:46 am • 6 0 • view
As a space nerd I always use the full name, "Planet Cool Ranch, Brought to You By Doritos(tm)"
jul 27, 2025, 4:33 am • 11 0 • view
Kinda true, though. Since Taco Doritos were abandoned by Frito Lay life hasn't been the same.
jul 27, 2025, 2:07 am • 8 0 • view
I’m not blaming all my problems on a conjunction of FOMO and iPhone with Baja Blast being in its seventh house, but it doesn’t help things.
jul 27, 2025, 2:11 am • 1 0 • view
😂🤣😹😅
jul 27, 2025, 3:08 pm • 0 0 • view
Really stoked for Planet McPlanetface.
jul 27, 2025, 9:55 am • 0 0 • view
Boy howdy is Mercury gonna retrograde your panties
jul 27, 2025, 2:21 am • 0 0 • view
Could have sold the naming rights. Planet Pepsi.
jul 27, 2025, 2:37 am • 1 0 • view
Please continue shit posting as a 14 year old discovering novel emotional depth. You've got a real knack
jul 27, 2025, 1:49 am • 3 0 • view
Snicker.
jul 27, 2025, 4:18 am • 0 0 • view
Well at least you now have “The Gulf Of America “
jul 27, 2025, 5:57 am • 0 0 • view
Sorry I snapped at you, I can’t help it. I’m a “backflip” and “skateboard” is in retrograde.
jul 27, 2025, 3:54 am • 2 0 • view
Lineus Techius makes me Whiniius and Wretchius but they would call one that probably. Anyways ALL HAIL SATURN
jul 27, 2025, 5:10 pm • 1 0 • view
Don’t forget the planets “Fitness” and “Hollywood.” (Not to mention, “Claire.”)
jul 27, 2025, 1:16 am • 4 0 • view
Further away planets keep having their names changed because they get a new naming rights sponsor every 10 years or so
jul 27, 2025, 3:06 am • 0 0 • view
There'd be a planet out there called chungus
jul 27, 2025, 3:17 pm • 1 0 • view
Same rule for Dinosaurs. Luckily we had the Victorians otherwise you would be looking at the skeletons of the Heckin Chonkosaurus and the Northern Thicc Scaleyboy.
jul 27, 2025, 10:45 am • 1 0 • view
Babe, elon is trying to send pop stars to Skibidi. Everyone knows that skibidi wont support life.
jul 27, 2025, 12:14 pm • 1 0 • view
A perfect example of why it's a good thing they discovered it first lol
jul 27, 2025, 1:55 am • 0 0 • view
or nintendo. given how many cucks bend to their every whim
jul 27, 2025, 3:37 am • 0 0 • view
Don't forget the names of our weeks and months.
jul 27, 2025, 4:40 am • 1 0 • view
Melania
jul 27, 2025, 1:31 am • 0 0 • view
Venus is kind of named after money in a lot of East Asian languages (金星, "Gold Star")
jul 27, 2025, 7:21 am • 0 0 • view
i think brands would pay to make planets tho
jul 27, 2025, 2:19 am • 0 0 • view
name*
jul 27, 2025, 2:20 am • 0 0 • view
Wow no this is definitely the next step now that we’ll move to private space/NASA - Planet X is coming FFS
jul 27, 2025, 7:36 am • 0 0 • view
Be careful what you wish for….the felon could rename them after his kids and wives 🤦🏻♀️
jul 27, 2025, 3:48 pm • 1 0 • view
An EO for the ages, no the Solar System!
jul 27, 2025, 10:42 pm • 0 0 • view
Don't give the felon in Chief any ideas! He'll be trying to name the planets after himself next!
jul 27, 2025, 2:21 am • 0 0 • view
Or, Trumps in the Epstein Files.
jul 27, 2025, 7:51 am • 0 0 • view
we discovered pluto in 1930 and names it pluto fucking pluto
jul 27, 2025, 1:36 am • 12 0 • view
named it after a fucking cartoon dog
jul 27, 2025, 1:42 am • 7 0 • view
Goofy is a cartoon dog too that's a much better name for a quirky planet
jul 27, 2025, 1:56 am • 6 0 • view
nah goofy didn't exist yet
jul 27, 2025, 1:57 am • 4 0 • view
Planety McPlanetface
jul 27, 2025, 1:10 am • 38 0 • view
Moony McMoonface
jul 27, 2025, 10:38 am • 3 0 • view
You may have given Trump the idea for his next con. Highest bidder renames a planet! 🤣
jul 27, 2025, 1:25 am • 2 0 • view
🙂🎯
jul 27, 2025, 2:23 am • 0 0 • view
Poor Pluto would have been NFT, beloved and then abandoned.
jul 27, 2025, 2:08 pm • 3 0 • view
Same for the days. “Moneyday” “xboxday” “pornhubday”
jul 27, 2025, 1:51 am • 2 0 • view
If we dedicated our lives to being exoplanet hunters we could in fact be doing this for real
jul 27, 2025, 12:41 pm • 0 0 • view
We'd have Planet McPlanetson.
jul 27, 2025, 9:52 am • 0 0 • view
youtu.be/5RwkTFTp-7M?...
jul 27, 2025, 5:17 am • 0 0 • view
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jul 27, 2025, 9:29 am • 1 0 • view
NPR: *casually whistling, looking off into the middle distance…*
jul 29, 2025, 12:16 am • 0 0 • view
Or like Trump?
jul 27, 2025, 2:29 am • 0 0 • view
Guaranteed Rate Planet RingCentral Savvis The Staples Planet Ugh it could be so much worse.
jul 27, 2025, 4:44 am • 2 0 • view
They could have sold rights to their names, Jupiter would be the Royal Bank planet for about 20 years and then another corporation would buy its naming rights
jul 27, 2025, 7:03 pm • 2 0 • view
Don't forget planet Job and it's moons iPhone, iPod, iPad, and Nano.
jul 27, 2025, 10:39 pm • 1 0 • view
Still stupid gods.
jul 27, 2025, 1:43 am • 0 0 • view
Hell we could have planet Melania! 🥵
jul 27, 2025, 1:24 pm • 0 0 • view
Planety McPlanetface
jul 27, 2025, 6:26 am • 1 0 • view
Came here for this. Wasn't disappointed.
jul 27, 2025, 6:56 am • 2 0 • view
Can't beat the classics.
jul 27, 2025, 6:57 am • 1 0 • view