I hear novichok is effective.

That, or council-employed snipers. You don’t even need to have them there year-round, just a couple of high-profile headshots during tourist season will send a message

I reckon a few staff with water guns, same for the deer in phoenix park. It would quickly become common knowledge.

Chill her down to -2 degrees so that hands (and tongues) will stick to her.

Machine-gun jubblies. Or just wire them to the mains. Touchy touchy, shocky shocky!

Could we, and hear me out here, electrify her?

Was thinking the same. Or possibly pop on a nice chunky Aran jumper?

We're all thinking the same..........

Campaign with this slogan? Leave Molly M alone!

We already have the poster from @selkies.bsky.social bsky.app/profile/selk...

Oh, this is fantastic. LETS DO IT!!

"A-dead, a-dead, oh A-dead, a-dead, oh Crying 'touch me tits and you'll be, a-dead, a-dead, oh' I dunno, I'm just trying to join in

same craic going on for years in Verona.....

I’d love to see the gropers get a slight shock. Put a live camera on it and stream it on the internet.

New Touching Molly Malone curse: "May all your mussels wither, and your cockles shrivel up"

Might see a surge in clinically depressed but indecisive people fondling her dugs.

Outside the Museum of Human Evolution in Burgos (Spain) there is a naked bronze statue of an early Homo Antecessor man. He's a big strapping lad. I'll let you imagine which part of his anatomy is similarly polished.

Is it his taint

I don't know what that means, but I'm not going to google it either.

Put up a notice describing The Molly Cam. Installed in her eyes, it records the faces of all who touch her and uses facial recognition to identify them and post their names online.

A tiny bead of glass glued to her pupil and that notice beside the statue, and watch the incidents of groping plummet.