Lol Damon Runyon is hardly the place to go looking for proper English. Maybe My Fair Lady?

Thank you, Joel!

Next time someone asks what made me like this I'm sending them a screenshot of my dad whipping out vintage sheet music to answer a copyediting question

Here’s a version of unclear date, possibly printed mid-60s?

The version I have has “policeman” where Joel’s has “gonif,” so now I’m really curious. We need a forensic lyricist!

Policeman is what they sing in the movie. I know they changed some words from the show to the movie. If you have Adelaide's Lament, does it say Saratoga or Yonkers near the end?

The copy I found says “Saratoga.”

That's the original show, not the movie. I guess they thought the national audience wouldn't know the reference to Saratoga so they used Yonkers Racetrack. I don't know if they put out different sheet music for the movie. Sometimes they do.

Oh! I hadn't noticed the "gonif" thing! I don't think I've ever encountered that in performance or on a recording! (It's certainly not on the OBC recording.)

I believe Loesser sings it on the “Evening with Frank Loesser” album, but I haven’t encountered it elsewhere.

For the film one certainly notes that "Scarsdale Galahad" is smoothed out to "small-town Galahad," and the "hollanderize" reference is gone entirely, but certainly a Broadway audience in 1950 could've coped with "gonif."

I mean, I'm just a goy from Sacramento, but I read the classics as a child.

Yo, @joelkaye.bsky.social, what's the rest of the lyric that leads up to "gonif"?

"All right already, I'm strictly a gonif." Interesting -- I'd never noticed it, and have never heard it sung that way. Really hoping Sam Levene delivered it that way on stage!

Guessing for the OBC recording they figured most folks who were into Broadway knew where Scarsdale was but lots of 'em wouldn't know from gonif, and by the time they got to the film they figured let's assume everyone's from Salt Lake City, so yeah -- "small town."

I don't have a copy of The Complete Lyrics of Frank Loesser, but perhaps there's an interesting note about it there. (Also I'm having a thought about the alteration of theater lyrics back then for recordings, like the way they disappeared "virgin" from Carousel.)

I've managed to search-catch a tiny glimpse of the page in question, and there's the word "policeman" clear as day, but if there's a footnote on the subject it's not, alas, visible to me. (And no search I can do including Loesser, "Sue Me," gonif gets any hits at all.) (🤷🏻‍♂️.)

Nathan and Faith gave “right” a sliiightly different note value.

Of the many laughs musical theater has given me, 23 years (!!!) later I can still say that was one of the laughiest. A completely unexpected, unnecessary non sequitur, yet somehow perfect. Smiling now just remembering it.