I was thinking what watches do we even mean? Because almost noone needs them to keep time. Is this meant to be some riff on rich people and Rolexes? (speaking to the common man). Or maybe they mean the fitness watches that count steps (apple watch and all it's competitors)?

"Gotta scurry down to the corner store for some scratch tickets, momma—you guard the Patek Philippe and I'll strap on the old Timex!"

They’re all against the dirty hippies, it’s 1971 Pat Buchanan, Roger Stone and the ghost of Lee Atwater ride again

Stephen sounds like an 80 year old man but he just turned 40 this weekend.

He sounds like Eric Cartman (but without the charm).