Oh dear God. Sending their best & brightest, I see. So reading between the lines, he was trying to manufacture trouble for the DQ (or someone there), not actually trying to drug his granddaughters?

While also running the risk of drugging his granddaughters. And also getting caught. 🙄

Hoping to drug his granddaughters and then......

Those "family values" they're always spouting-off about keep getting more depraved.

Not only are the Republicans evil enough to do this, they're also the only ones stupid enough to do this. Coke and molly at the same time is worse than doing 1 of them at a time.

Gotta wonder what sort of judgment you have to look at the wide array of eligible appointees to this position and go "I want the guy who gives MDMA and cocaine to his underage granddaughter"...

Maybe he treated them to ice cream.

Seriously! 😂 bsky.app/profile/whey...

Yeah that's my thinking too. It's a grift that works so often in R circles, ppl start thinking it's a viable career choice bsky.app/profile/drgi...

That makes more sense than willingly sharing your drugs with your grandkids. I mean, I neither do drugs or have grandkids, but I feel if both were true for me, that I would take the position that they should find their own drugs. (The above was an attempt at humor for the humor-impaired.)

Not sure if story has been updated but it doesn’t say he went to the cops, it says the teens flagged down the cops and told them about it.

If it’s not an attempt to frame DQ or its employers, I agree it’s likely a family custody issue. Grandpa buys kids a drugged-up ice cream treat right before dropping them off at the unfavored parent’s house and when the effects kick in, the parent is branded an unfit parent and loses custody.

Just noticed @darthbluesky.bsky.social beat me to the joke by literal seconds ::shakes fist:: bsky.app/profile/dart...

bsky.app/profile/eles...

😹

we need to know the moment of joke inception to actually score this properly

That's absolutely what this guy was doing.

It may be worth it to see if there is some sort of a family law situation going on, and this might be a way to frame the disfavored ex-child-in-law so that the favored child will have a leg up in the custody fight. If one thought digested cocaine passes harmlessly but tests positive, I could see it.

Former Dairy Queen here. DQ doesn’t pay its workers enough for them to buy cocaine.

anything else makes zero sense drugs are expensive and both coke and mdma have a quite distinct and disgusting taste, like that shit tastes bad and its expensive so besides accidental contamination it makes just no sense. also really dangerous (serotonin toxicity) so says a lot about that guy.

Bet he’s also a big tort reform crusader!

Also interesting that he owns a home here in Wilmington, but was appointed to Surry Co. Elections Board which is over 200 miles away

Are you saying the gop has a drug issue

Was he trying to extort the Dairy Queen? I mean WTF?

I mean street MDMA is contaminated with cocaine sometimes? But it's also the results of a prelim field test, so it might be powdered sugar for all we know.

Much as I dislike the republican party, your post is disingenuous IMO.

Why?

Right, he was simply trying to defraud the establishment by poisoning his grandchildren, not rape them under the influence as one would typically expect of Republicans.

I think setting it up as a criteria was going overboard.

Your opinion, in my opinion, lacks any reasonable basis in fact.

Thinking there's a non-zero chance all the other options were worse.

Ngl would have guessed Libertarian

party of family values?

The Party of Family Values™

The party of family party values

Other type of party. A ______ that parties together stays together.

What the hell kinda concoction is a cocaine and Ecstasy sundae?!

Leave it to a Republican to put cocaine in a pill capsule.

To keep them awake while they’re fucked up? Cos who wants a limp dolly, amirite?

He was the one to report it to the police, according to the story, so I think he was just hoping to start a moral panic and maybe sue DQ.

Makes sense, but the chance he took!!! 😱

Oh! I know! Pick me!

Sigh... Libertarian Party.

No, the Libertarian would say the child consented to the drugs and sexual assault.

WTAF?

Progressives generally don’t do this sort of thing. Maybe it’s the lack of repression.

Libertarian? /s

Whig?

Anti-Masonic? Greenback? Know-Nothing?

The Cool Granddad party amirite?!

granddaughter man, wtf

Honestly had my money on Libertarian

bsky.app/profile/davs...

Epsteinian?

With hints of Cosby-ism

Doesn’t seem like it, if you read the text he was the one who went to the cops to report it. Sounds like he might have been planning to sue or extort Dairy Queen?

I appreciate you giving him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t. The granddaughter says “Gramps, there is something in my blizzard.” Gramps thinks, “damn, lemme cover it up. I’ll call the cops, they’re on the same team.“

Maybe he put it in with the intent for them to consume it but then the girls found it and he was stuck reporting it?

I wanna know where he did it that they got *video footage* from 😂

He wanted content for the inevitable documentary.

But I’m not exactly going to be surprised if it turns out he is actually exactly what we think

Is he going to argue that cocaine+MDMA+milkshake is the best thing to prevent disease when ivermectin isn't available? Heroin was RFK Jr's choice, though.

Why on earth

He's the one who reported it and apparently his granddaughters weren't exposed to the drugs. So looks like he intended to either sue Dairy Queen for money or he had a grudge against someone there he wanted to get in trouble.

I am so sorry to answer your question, but pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC...

What a monster he is

Normal people: "no you can't have a Coke, you'll be bouncing off the walls" Pedocons: "here's some coke and molly, go wild"

To extort the Dairy Queen?

JFC

North Carolina Republicans are the WORST. Absolute bottom feeders beneath their fake charm.

I read the majority of the article aloud to my wife but didn’t mention his political party. Her response was something to the effect of “Republicans, man.”

“Yokeley told an officer that his two juvenile granddaughters found two pills in ice cream”

What was the end-game? Actually, I definitely don’t want to know…

Oh I know, the GOP

This is, of all bizarre crimes to commit, about as weird as it gets 😵‍💫

Hope he gets a ton of state (not fed bc felon47 will just pardon him 🤬) charges w LONG sentences thrown at him for risking his granddaughters lives. He obviously was trying to perpetrate some kind of fraud but he also committed a horrific child endangerment by doing that with them as the "victims" 😡