I’ve never mentioned it on here but my son , now 37, was diagnosed with Asperger’s 25 years ago and you’d hardly know it. The trouble is that he has denied it since he was a teenager and this has caused work issues his whole life. So no adjustments have ever happened.
Its a shame he can't embrace it and understand how and why his brain is wired, its liberating. The more of us that speak up, the more likely change is to happen. 😘
Yes it’s so difficult. We can see the struggle and can’t help. He lives away from home and coped pretty well.
That must be so hard Alan, I don't envy you . My Daughter doesn't ever plan on moving out, my Son however is my real worry too, he thinks he'll cope but Im not so sure 😬
The Bank of Mum & Dad, are there for bailouts and he’ll inherit from us.
Yes, we've prepared ourselves too. Hope for the best but be there just in case 😉
We always a few months from unemployment, I’m afraid.
Thats a burden you just don't need Al 😢 But there's no way forward until he accepts his autism.
I never really like talking about this outside very close family. Perhaps, we need some support.
Its taken me years to discuss it openly, it gets much easier the more you do it. I think you do need support but I'm not in a position to point you in the right direction, maybe others on here will have some ideas 👍
Thanks Kercle!
Credit goes to you and your partner because parenting a child that has its own challenges as well. Autism doesn’t define you - it’s just an aspect of who you are. Also a lot of boys/men try and mask it so being able to talk about it so much easier these days, hopefully. 👊🏻
With the greatest of respect JD I beg to differ, autism absolutely defines who you are but that definition can be positive.
I accept that. But I work with many people who are either diagnosed or undiagnosed as being on the spectrum and I try not to define them by their diagnosis but trying to understand them as people. But I realise there are other ways of looking at this. That’s we’re talking about it is a good thing.
Exactly this JD. He denies that he has Asperger’s and plainly his challenges are caused by it. I can’t see a way out of this at present.
He needs to see autism as a positive thing instead of a stigma. Maybe he'll come to terms with it as more and more people speak up.
It’s not even that Kercle, it’s flat out denial. He has also get a lovely autistic friend , so it’s not stigma. It feels more like a daft blokeish thing as JD said.
Interesting that he has an autistic friend, its very often the case that like goes to like. Autistic people can recognise other autistic people with ease. He's masking but that is incredibly tiring and he will burn out. Shame his openly autistic friend can't get him to accept himself as he is.
Yes. I really don’t know how that dynamic works, in truth. We don’t often see the friend.
Maybe your Son is able to be authentic without judgement with another autistic person, he just hasn't realised it yet.
That’s kind of my point - if you can be accepted for who you are rather than being predefined by some universal characteristics that, at the end of the day, don’t apply to everybody then that’s a wonderful thing.
Unmasking is very difficult and practically impossible if you haven't accepted that you're autistic.
Well put JD. Thank you.👍🏼
That’s a good way of looking at it👍🏼