Just "letting them experience them" is not actually helpful. Toddlers need to be *taught* emotional regulation, it is a skill. Permissive parenting just lets those emotions run the family life. Developmentally *appropriate* parenting shows the toddler *how* to regulate using coregulation, etc.
OK well as someone with both a psychology degree and two adult children, my point is that they can't learn to do that as toddlers.
Hi fellow psychologist! Yeah, and that is also when they need to see the modeling, have the co-regulation happen, and begin to be taught what to do appropriately in those moments. You don't just throw up your hands and ignore it which is the whole point of the original post.
In toddlers, having an entire meltdown over a disappointing meal is age appropriate behavior.
And this is something my silent gen parents understood. We could start to have a meltdown in a restaurant (which seems to be a frequent complaint) and they’d remove us from the venue. We would still be expressing ourselves through that tantrum, just not in public. Once regulated, we could return.
I was old enough to understand what they were doing when one of them would take my younger brother out when needed. He needed to express himself, but the rest of the room didn’t need to experience his distress. It wasn’t punishment.
But the key is to make sure the removal isn’t a punishment which can be hard! I am not sure I always fell on the right side of that line. One time I had to walk out of a mall with my son screaming YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY, that was fun.
But when your kids are neurodivergent and are still not able to regulate when they are older it becomes harder.
Yep. Have done this w/toddler. Had meltdown. Put him in room w/door ajar during meltdown until he was feeling calmer. Checked on him every 5 min or so. Even asked if he was ready to come out. He said no. Then, when ready, tears wiped away, we talked feelings & expressing them appropriately.