Same. And I wonder how long it is going to take the whiny f*cking Republicans to start complaining that women not taking their husband’s name is “emasculating.”

"three... two... one..." :(

Will be having that same conversation. Taking your husband's name is an outdated concept that needs to die

I honestly never thought about it before, but now wonder why the women's rights movement didn't include discouraging women from taking their husband's name, like he owns them. I've been so blind.

They did!

I'm sure they did to an extent, but not loud enough to get us all in the game maybe? I remember being angry at my younger teenage sister's decision in the early 80s for having her name on her checks as "Mrs. ", thereby erasing her identity. Yet I never blinked about losing my last name.

What’s astonishing is that almost 80% of women still do it. I thought when I chose not to in 1995 it was almost over, but I was living in a bubble.

You were smarter and more in tune with the world than most. I honestly never even thought about it, much like the Sunday marching orders to attend a church I didn't believe in & send our kids to CCD. (We did put a stop to that while the kids were young.) The blinders are slow in their removal.

So many of us defaulted to it. I never even thought about it (changing it) cause I was really into my family.

Jess, my wife of almost 30 years kept her last name and the only person that said anything was her father, who said to me I’m not sure I’d marry a woman that wouldn’t take my name. I responded you’ve met my family right. It’s been an awesome 30 years

Very wise advice.

That's fine. Either way. But it's sad that we even have to have such a conversation.

Good idea. At least don’t change your name on any official documents. If they want they can still be known as ‘Mrs xxx’ but leave all official documents especially ID in your birth name.

We didn't. Just seemed like less bother that way. We had no idea how prescient we were.

Let a trusted source create an X account that posts updates and bulletins here, and maybe an independent website. More Twitter accounts only helps Elon.

It should be a choice rather than expectation. For the love of all things good…if you’re a dude with a last name like Weiner, Butts or Faartz, don’t curse your kids with that name when your wife was born a Swanson, Sweets or or Rivers.

I’ve long believed that women should keep their birth names (I hate the term “maiden”-it’s weak and pathetic). But it also begs the question…should kids have their mother’s last name? In divorce, kids usually live with mom more than dad. Why shouldn’t kids have the same last name as their mother?

I think a hyphenated or double barrelled surname is best for kids. It’s ridiculous that women are the ones who have to endure pregnancy and childbirth, breastfeed the child, do most of the parenting (in most cases) and don’t even get to pass down their name.

Both of mine kept their maiden name.

My daughter was smart, she didn’t change hers. 💯👏

Sadly that we live in a catastrophe that makes this necessary

It’s crazy that we find ourselves here.

Considering most white men [and white women] in this country voted for this shit show, I find it surprising that any conscious woman would consider getting married.

How sad is it that this is how women have to guard themselves against their own government. I got married in 1981, took my husband’s name, I’ve had that name longer than my maiden name. I’m not changing anything. He passed away, and I will fight tooth and nail to vote, but I won’t change a thing.

Mines keeping hers for however long this regime is F’ing things up. They even talked about him taking her name.

So glad I use my maiden name as my middle name on everything important, including my drivers license!

That wouldn't help in this situation. Basically passport or birth certificate/other "proof of citizenship": your name needs to match that or (hopefully) you have *and* they accept whatever paper trail you have. :/

UPSIDE

It’s such an outdated practice, honestly. And now it’s literally harmful to the woman.

Honestly, I think it depends on the name. It might be Penelope Greazyarse is looking for a change. Same goes for Gary Powderbottom. I'm very arse-forward today for some reason.

I spent several months and a few hundred dollars this spring getting my name legally synched up with the one on my passport and driver's license (that I've used since the 80s). My mom took her name back after her 70s divorce. Women in our family always keep our names.

This was such a weird aspect of the bill: clearly it was meant to disenfranchise trans people, but did it not occur to anyone involved that this would also disenfranchise “tradwives” while not affecting “Liberals”? I know, stupid question. Demands more thought than the kneejerk reflex GOPers have.

Seriously, among the noses that might get cut off by this... Maybe Republican men don't even want to risk that their wives might vote differently when not under their eyes?

It is just one of the ironies of Republicans desperate efforts to dial the clock back to 1768 that they will end up forcing future generations to embrace the kind of changes they find so disorienting.

Maybe all those apron wearing republican housewives need to be worried too. Right Vance???

Glad my daughter didn’t. This is all NEEDLESS.

My youngest never changed her name. 👏👏👏 The oldest is in zero danger of being married. 👏👏👏

That's ridiculous and shouldn't be necessary.

I’m glad my wife didn’t

Same.

Why aren’t women in the US going on national strike over this and reproductive rights!! This is men taking away your voting rights and men won’t be asked to do this. Don’t be handmaidens!!

the thing that gets me is the more conservative a woman is, the more likely she is to marry, and to drop her maiden name if she does marry (made-up stats, I'm guessing). If the goal is voter suppression, they're suppressing their own voters

Whoa so I missed a very important possibility: what if they WANT to suppress their own voters, because only their own voters could replace them in primaries...

Honestly, I think there's no strategy other than distraction from the market manipulation and pump-and-dump enrichment scheme. Troll the left, make money, avoid accountability. In no particular order

Good. Women should not change their names. Why should they? We aren't property. We were completely and whole people before marriage. Nothing is different afterwards.

Back when I was married it was just the way. I have all my paperwork plus a passport already. Bring it on republicans.

Or, leave the country and get married where it's THEIR choice whether to keep their names or not, and neither choice impacts their legal rights adversely. And they can marry who they want, not being restricted to the chisto-fascist vision of marriage.

No BS law dictates what I do with my own NAME.

Smart. Wish I had.

Me too.

Agreed. At least not while these clowns are in office.

I added my married name to my maiden name (no hyphen) with SS. This allows me to use both surnames but use them interchangeably. I need to sign all legal documents with both names, but I can use one professionally (medical license) and one personally (kid’s school). Matches birth certificate too.

One of my daughters is talking about changing hers back.

Same. I’ve also talked to both of my kids about the importance of a current passport and paying attention to the world around them. Having a way out never occurred to me until 2016.

Same.

In Quebec it's not possible. I mean, I guess you could, but the government is like "Nah."

We’ve also got laws so that our kids don’t wind up with names that sound like law firms. So no one is Tremblay-Morin-Smith-Tanguay-Campbell-Gagnon.

There is the issue of getting grief related to travelling with your kids who have a different surname to yours: can you prove they are your kids? How do we know you have permission from their father to travel with them?

Everyone warned me this would be an issue when I had kids and as it turned out it never once caused an issue and we traveled internationally almost every year when they were growing up. Many people have different last names than their parents and it isn't an issue.

I am indifferent to whether a married person keeps a birth name, adopts name of partner or develops new family name. I just don’t want these things (or having a different name from kids) to be used to restrict rights to vote, travel, work, get financial services in the future.

Same. I have also encouraged them to pick gender-neutral names for their own kids. And never complete the voluntary questions on applications about race, gender, etc...

Same!

I suggested to my daughter to have the dude change HIS name.

I’ve had a conversation with my daughter about not getting married at all.

So did I.

Don’t understand why any woman changes her name today. Absolutely perplexing.

My sisters and myself all married in the 80s, none of us changed our last names. It's interesting to see this become a renewed topic due to election laws that will affect those who took their spouses last names

Any woman getting married today who takes her husbands name does not know the history of marriage. Centuries ago women HAD to take their husband’s last name because it proved his ownership of her.

That's why modern men use a tattoo on her butt. Joking aside, my wife just agreed she might have to change her name back if this goes through.

Glad I never changed mine. I called my R rep that voted for this nonsense let him know I would be voting against him.

Never changed mine and it became super beneficial in the divorce. Definitely not doing it in the future.

I think that’s what will happen overall if this law isn’t repealed. My daughter had the good sense to keep her maiden name.

Insane that is where we are. Lots of maga folks about to be pissed. Mr.Jones and Mrs.Jones will have a lot of paperwork to do if they want to vote as a family

My married daughter has kept her surname. Thank goodness.

My daughter as well. See where the grand daughters go. 😀

I had sons but this has been my advice for years.

Yep. Ditto

What name do you give your children.. yours or your husband’s?

Had I kept my maiden name I would have also given my daughter my last name… I did all the work.

Good chat to have. My daughter already decided it isn’t necessary to marry, a relationship is enough and no contract is required, even if there are children. We are good with that! Funny how the family values preachers are going to destroy the institution of marriage, over voting fuckery. 👍 😆

I will file to change my name.

That’s a very mentally stable thing for a mother to want to talk about with her daughters. Make sure they know they can be plumbers or work in oil fields if they want to too. Also maternity leave is for submissive women, make the husband take leave.

What does a name have to do with being female? Yes our bodies are different. Whatever. What do those examples have to do with paperwork and voting rights?

BOTH parents should have leave. That’s what they do in civilized societies.

I didn't. So stupid.

I didn't change my name I just added to it. I didn't marry until I was 39. I added to my "old" name as honoring my "new" family. I have had moments in the past 35 years when I wish I had just stayed the original. Because of the difficulty getting my FULL name on stuff. So, yeah, Girls, don't do it.

I kept mine. No regrets.

Same here. Gave my son my last name as well, as a middle finger to the sperm donor & the system.

Excellent!

Let's make the men take our last names. Sick of all this bs. We have the power.

Gawd! My evil step mother refused to acknowledge that I kept my name after marriage. When she died after my father, I needed to provide proof of my last name since she insisted on putting my *married* name on all of their documentation (will), etc!

What an unnecessary train wreck

I didn't change my name for about a decade after I got married.But the bill they are trying to pass requires a 60 vote in the Senate, or so I have read. That won't happen.

You trust Democrats to an extent they probably don’t deserve.

Still, a EDL is all that is required. If you already have one, there is no reason for people to get a passport.

Legal residents who are not citizens can also get a Real ID (EDL). Currently only 5 of 50 states have citizenship status shown on the Real ID.

www.usbirthcertificates.com/articles/rea.... It seems like most states, if not all, are compliant with REAL.

From Homeland Security's site: www.dhs.gov/real-id/real... "At a minimum, you must provide documentation showing: 1) Full Legal Name; 2) Date of Birth; 3) Social Security Number; 4) Two Proofs of Address of Principal Residence; and 5) Lawful Status." Note "lawful status" there. /1

I quoted the actual bill. All of those are covered with an EDL. They do a background check. It used to be required for truck drivers, now it's everyone. All states are in compliance with REAL. EDLs are compliant.

Thanks, hadn't realized WA State did slicing and dicing to only allow EDL or standard DL. (No wonder it was extra PitA moving here from VA! :) ) Nonetheless, DHS minimum standard for Real ID just says "Lawful Status". Other states are issuing Real ID to residents/workers. Agree this is a mess? :)

Oh yeah. For no reason at all. There is no voter fraud, unless you are a republican. They are the ones getting caught voting in states they don't live in, (Tulsi Gabbard.)

"Visit your state’s driver’s licensing agency site to find out exactly what documentation is required to obtain REAL ID. States may impose additional requirements, so check with your state’s driver’s licensing agency website, before visiting them in person, for additional guidance and assistance" /2

Then, people in 45 states can't fly.

Be prepared to carry your marriage license everywhere you go and get your insurance cancelled every month. Happened to me.

Fuck that. I’m telling my daughter to never get married.

I agree 100% one kid had both names n the other didn't change

I was just thinking the same thing!

I dunno, you can build complete new identities for them, should the need arise. Banks accounts , licences, passports, whilst keeping the maiden name running in the back ground. It’s an uncertain world, sometimes you need to get up and go…❤️❤️

I like your style, Tuneraider.

Smart! No woman should ever change their name.

I told my wife to change hers back. I couldn’t care less what her name is.

Yup. Just spoke again with mine.

That is just a weird US thing

A good motherly thing to do.

It should be a choice that does not remove your right to vote!!

This! EITHER partner should be free to take their partners name or do a hyphenated version of both or keep their birth name or whatever. As long as the name change is done legally, it should not affect the right to vote. Period.

And up until thisbill it has not been an issue since women had the right to vote

This mostly affects married women, but they are not the only ones to be affected..

Yes. Overseas Military Personnel votes will also be removed

I'm telling every young woman I know.

Me too, even I just overhear a convo I just butt right in 😅

Agree. I have a relatively unpronouceable/unspellable name; four Gaelic words became three syllables in 'Murican English. My wife had the same initial in her pronounceable maiden name, but changed it anyway (tradition?) And people have mangled it ever since. Keep your names, girls!

Doesn't the government know who is a citizen and who isn't? I would think they should. All u should need to vote is a copy of your license and social security card or just a passport. For mail-in ballots, you can submit this info when you submit your request for a mail-in ballot.

Absolutely. DON'T DO IT.

If the majority of women did not change their name when they get married, you will see the Republican men declare the Save Act illegal and blame Joe Biden. 😂😂

From now on, no American woman should ever change her name should she get married. Never!

How much trouble it is for a divorced woman to change her name back to her maiden name? Besides of course the headache of changing drivers license, credit cards, etc. I want to advise my aunt & pay for her to get a passport if that’s easier. She’s in her late ‘70s and on a very fixed income.

It's a bit of trouble. I wanted to change my kids' names to mine (changed mine in the divorce). I wish I had thought to do it in the divorce. It involves a court fee (but can be waived) www.courts.mo.gov/page.jsp?id=...

Thank you for the information!

As in "don't do it?"

Me too. And never merge your checking and savings account with a partner. If no fault divorce goes away so does their money.

It's a good idea. My wife refused to do it and I supported her. The only people who were put off by the decision were my in-laws! We had to patiently explain why it would be awkward for her to change her name after spending years building a reputation in the medical professions.

I almost didn't 36 years ago, and now I really wish I hadn't!

Absolutely! Anyone getting married from this day forward do not legally change your name!

The Senate still needs to vote on it,and I seen it somewhere they need 60 to defeat the filibuster

Keeping my fingers crossed that they have the votes to defeat it. Nevertheless someone in the House will try to bring it up again. I say if you’re getting married keep your maiden name on your legal documents. Use your married name socially if you prefer.

Never should have in the first place. Kudos to you!

In a way, changing your name is saying you divorce who you are. I asked my husband if he would change his surname to mine, the look on his face spelled it out before he said “but that is who I am.”

It’s a huge legal and bureaucratic hassle and I have told my daughter the same. Just don’t.

If I had daughters, I would, too. Instead I’ve told my sons not to ask. It’s solely her decision.

This is where we have been failing in America. We have raised our daughters to be strong, capable, and independent, BUT we have failed to raise our sons to respect and desire women for that. Far too many continue to raise sons to view women as nothing more than a thing that exists to serve them.

Honestly, I've never understood why women are still doing the name change. Just keep your name, and if anyone refers to you as Mrs. Your-Husband's-Last-Name, just smile and nod. There's no good reason for legally changing your name.

Totally. My wife is the inimitable @k8rip.bsky.social both here and on the marriage certificate.

Easier when accepting mail, going to hospital or passport control with kids etc etc to have the same surname

Not true

"Do you have any id?" "Yes" "The name doesn't match" etc etc etc.

Fully accepting that there is a trade off between this and a person's name not matching their own older documents and professional profile etc - but there are perfectly valid reasons to change name if that's what you want

FALSE Married 30+yrs with 3 children; it has NEVER been an issue. Traveled in/out of the country, many hospital visits (children/husband), 24 yrs in the public school. NOT ONCE questioned or asked for an i.d., marriage license, proof of guardianship when they wouldn’t have if I had changed my name!

interestingly enough, the cherokee people tracked clan lineage through the mothers. always made sense to me :)

I like the Icelandic way

They change it so they have the same last name as their children. Same reason some women keep their married name after divorce.

That has always been my stance & my view is that if your guy has a problem with that, then that’s a sign that he’s not going to be a good life partner, so it would be best to break it off before marrying him. I didn’t change my name & we’ve been happily married for ~24 years.

The thing is not that all guys have a problem with that. My wife never changed her name. But even if she did, off her own accord, you would’ve chided both her and me. THAT’S what I have an issue with.

I never said I had a problem with people changing their names, but that I never understood why people did so. It’s not required. Also, plenty of men do have a problem with it, but I’m sure there are plenty of men who do not, because as I said, I’m married to one of them. #ReadingComprehension

I kept my maiden name and it is amazing how much it doesn’t affect my life, my relationship or my kids;)

Agree. Archaic.

I got married in 1984 and there was no way I was going to change my name. What a hassle and for what? To be my husband's property? I am truly amazed that women still do it and do it willingly. Weird.

What name do your children have?.. yours or your partner?

I choose not to have children but, in my province, one can choose either name or do a hyphenated name. In Quebec, it is no longer permitted for women to change their names due to marriage and it seems there is a mixture of what couples end up doing.

My kids have four names: first, middle,my last name, my husband’s last name. Works just fine. No issues.

So their children may have the two last names of your child and the two last names of your child’s spouse ( if your child marries someone that uses two last names also) potentially your grandchild could have total of 4 last names strung together?😃

Hey, that’s not my problem!!🤪🤣

🤣🤣

My son has my surname as a middle name and my wife's as his last.

Well, considering I did 99.9% of the work to create the child from my own body - they sure AF are going to have my name.

Clearly you didn't have a wretched surname. A legal name change would land me in the same position as taking my husband's surname 35 years ago.

Yes, clearly I over-generalized. There can be some good reasons for changing a name. I should amend to there's no good reason to change it merely for the sake of convention.

Only changed my name because my maiden name and married name are both difficult to spell and pronounce. ☹️

I didn't change my name, but it's no big deal if people assume that I did. No problem at all. I sign everything with my real name. I fill out all forms with my real name, but not a big issue for me if they get it wrong in person.

I did it 38 years ago to move up the alphabet (maiden name starts with 'W'), but I wouldn't do it now.

IMO, it's a personal choice of expression. Some people (women and men) don't like their last name (for many reasons) and choose their spouses' last name. Some choose to hyphenate. I celebrate people who have chosen their form of expression. (I'm looking at you, young people. Cheers to you.)

I only did it because I hate my father - but I hate the principal of it all together

Because we should get to choose & not be shamed about it.

I've always thought this. Don't legally change your name. Use you legal name at work. In social situations become Mr & Mrs So-and-So. My partner and I aren't married. Sometimes I get called by her last name, sometimes she gets called by mine. It's no big deal.

Agree. It should stop. And quite frankly, we shouldn't be quiet about it either. We should make it known that women will stop giving men the "right" to our identity. Too bad, so sad.

I regretted chg mine. Initially planned to keep name but in 1980 it caused so much confusion...It is part of one's identity and shouldn't need changing.

I just told my family I really regret it. It was half my name for all my life and I willingly threw it away.

we can do that now can’t we!

It’s ironic that this will hurt conservative white women more. Or it would - I’m sure they’ll find a way around it

Me too

I also told my daughter's the same thing..

Sadly, I did 42 years ago, and now I'm having trouble getting my hands on an official state marriage certificate. JFC... I have my birth certificate, new passport, and TSA approved. How much more evidence do I need to be able to still vote? Rhetorical - this is another excuse to block votes. 🤬

I’m not sad I took my husbands name! I adored him for 54 years and proud to have his name💔 we just need to stop this stupidity

Thank you! I thought I was alone here reading the replies. I took my husband’s name, our children have our family name and I will never regret it! Birth certificate, marriage certificate and whatever else they need, I can provide it and still vote their asses OUT‼️💯

My husband passed in 2022 and I will never disrespect our marriage by changing my name 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I don’t blame you! There’s a birth certificate and marriage certificate to prove who you are! 💯💯

And I just got my passport when the orange idiot won the election

We’re ready! 💯💯💯

I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔

Thank you💔

I agree. I'm sad because I never thought in my lifetime I could be stopped from voting just because I took his name. I'm also extremely pissed. Hopefully, it dies in the senate from needing 60 votes. 2026 elections - assuming we will still have them - will be judgment day for the GOP.

❤️💙

I did the same 52 years ago and have no regrets.He was my world, a great husband & father. I’ve had my married last name longer than my birth surname & will keep it.I have my original birth certificate, marriage license, baptismal cert and original SS card.This govt can kiss my ass! I’m voting!!!!

My hope is that many maga women won’t know how to get their information do they won’t be able to vote. What a shame that will be.💙

They can always go by their husband's name informally, but have their birth name on all their documentation.

I did not change my name, and now I believe that was a moment of clairvoyance.

When I got divorced the only request I had was to get my family name back. Phew.

Yep. And have a bank account and credit card with that name.

This. To apply for a REAL ID you need multiple bills in your name. Probably a good idea to have a utility in your name as well.

Exactly. Thanks for adding that to the conversation!

When our daughter was married she used her maiden name and her husband’s last name. Changed it legally so it’s like she now has 4 names, using her maiden name as a 2nd middle name.

I have too!

Yup

No woman should ever change her name, she’s her own person

Women should never submit to their husband. All men are bad and all submission is bad.

I agree, where the fuck did I say submit, I’m saying don’t take his last name, wtf

Interesting that you think being involved with a man requires submission. Not all men are bad, but men who would require me to submit are. You need to work on your interpersonal relationships - friendship, caring, and love have nothing to do with submission. TBF, I'm not sure you aren't a bot.

Interesting that you think, that’s what I was saying, I’m saying you shouldn’t take your husbands name, you are your own person WTF

I was agreeing with you. The reply was to Damon. You I give full props for being a good person.

"Maiden" names aren't much better. They're usually the father's last name, meant to indicate the father's ownership of a girl until she marries. At which point she becomes her husband's property & changes her last name accordingly. The only way out of those implications is to create one's own name.

You don’t have a choice to take your fathers name, you do have a choice to take your husbands name, big difference

A man also inherits his name from his father. It’s misogynist that only the father’s name traditionally gets passed down, but once I was born, the name was mine, not my father’s.

You aren’t born with your husbands name, as a child you don’t have a choice, as an adult you do, choose wisely

Yes. I regret having taken my husband's name now. My motive in doing so was very personal, and it seemed right at the time. But if I had it to do over, I'd have kept my birth name.

This is about not taking your husband's name because you aren't property he bought. Keeping the name on your birth certificate so you can vote. Maybe women should have their husband take their last name and give that name to their children.

I agree!

I have colleagues who have chosen to take each other’s last name such that for both their surname now is “woman’s last name-man’s last name”.

time to stop taking men’s names anyway

Excellent idea. Also, if you change your name, often when you travel, you are asked if you ever changed your name. It is meant to catch potential criminals, but includes married women who changed their names.

I never changed mine- mine was good enough 🥂😎

It failed being passed in the Senate last year. I don't think they will reach the 60 vote requirement for it in the Senate this year either, right?

Yup. Same. My daughter also recently got an IUD - because we all know what's coming.

I did too, but they chose their husband’s name anyway. Now my oldest is in the middle of a divorce w/3 kids and will keep her married name to have the same name as the kids

The horrible thing for me was that I never planned on changing my name. But my husband was crushed, and I couldn’t mentally justify keeping the surname of an abusive father whom I’d cut out of my life over taking the name of a man I love. Plus, I got rid of an objectively awful middle name.

Why not take your mother’s name then?

Reasons. Personal.

That’s a good reason. It’s not all black and white.

Me too but she did it anyway

I'm sure glad my daughter never did! Smart move.

@jaredgolden.bsky.social @gluesenkampperez.house.gov @henrycuellar.bsky.social @RepEdCase (D, Hawaii) #AgainstWomen GET ORGANIZED & PUSHBACK! #5CALLS everyday! ATTEND TOWN HALLS AND PROTESTS! Signups @ #mobilize.us and #fiftyfifty.one #HandsOff “THE EVIL THAT MEN DO LIVES AFTER THEM”

Never did myself! Glad today, but still, this is crazy

The only reason this "tradition" exists is to show ownership of women. Keep your name always!

I never did. I was always proud of my birth name. I do use my husband’s last name “cosmetically” at times but legally it’s always been by birth name.

As a man, I wish I had taken my wife's name. So does she. Mine (Irish) has an apostrophe. Some computer systems will accept, some won't. Some will accept at certain points but reject it later on the same form. I have even been accused of lying when spelling my name. Too old to change now.

I'm meeting with an attorney next week to officially abandon my married name and for the record my husband is in full support.

I took a year to decide and really only bc I had no real affinity either way but got to go to the front of the alphabet…never thought it would effect my civil rights doing it. Insanity.

I am Mr Barnes. My wife is Miss Naysmith. That's the way we like it.

Explain the cost if for no other reason. I couldn’t afford to return my name after my divorce. But I don’t want this name.

Same!

We have had the same conversation with our granddaughter. I never thought America would try to take away so many rights from women.

We need to start a GoFundMe so every woman in the nation with their husband’s last name can change their name back to their maiden name. www.totallegal.com/name-change-...

Sad you have to do that

Good thinking.

A lot of us have long thought that being “Mrs. Him” was an unacceptable loss of identity.

I have encouraged my daughter to do the same. I kept my name. Not going back.

Just had the same conversation with mine

I changed my name when I got married because I wanted our family to all have the same last name once we had kids. Archaic, sure, but it’s what I chose. Women should be able to change their names if they want to, without having to worry about losing their rights.

Go further and tell them both marriage is noting more than an ownership contract, and no man nor woman should own each other. Abolish marriage! Just make a life commitment without a government contract.

Marital status is like citizenship status. It affects your rights in virtually every area of the law, with the possible exception of maybe patent law. It is no longer about ownership. It is about making your beloved your legal next-of-kin. There is no substitute.

Oh yeah? Without no fault divorce, you cannot get out of this ownership contract. Your turn.

You should demand a refund from your law school.

You too!

This.

Smart

It flabbergasts me that this is still common. She sheer pain in the ass of it should relegate it to history.

There are many good reasons not to change your name. In today’s social media world, you have to change it in a thousand different places. And if, heaven forbid, they get divorced, they have to do it all again.

I’m divorced and I kept my married name, I called the Court house, 124.00 to change it back. Then you have to change your Social Security card and your Drivers license and literally everything! Bank account information, CC, medical records. They’re doing this on purpose! I’M EXHAUSTED!!!

I’m in the same boat. I decided to get a passport instead. It was a little more expensive ($160), but infinitely simpler. It just wasn’t worth it to go thru all that work to save $36

Heyyyy!! That’s all you need is a Passport to negate this mess? Well I have one! I’m good to go! Thank you!

That’s what I understand, yes. But I’m not an expert, you should probably verify that I’m correct ✌️

According to my research you have to prove citizenship and a passport does exactly that.

Will do!

When it’s all said and done (not even counting time devoted), passport will be the least expensive way to go. But…still not an option for a lot of people, especially elderly and remote people.

Very true. And I do understand that I am privileged to have the resources to be able to afford it. I know that many do not.

Never understood why women do this. It’s just dumb.

Being the father of two girls and my parents only grandkids, I told them the same.

We had this conversation yesterday with my 8 year old nibling. Then I bought them a book on voters rights. This was not my hope while they're still so young

This is the book, for anyone looking for it

I never changed my name. When I moved to France, nom de famille is used on my official documents, but some institutions like banks and the healthcare system use my husband’s name, my nom de useage. It’s a bit annoying.

My wife kept her name. She has done the name change nightmare before. Her name is the same as most of her kids and it doesn't change how we feel about each other. I even chuckle and say, "I've been called worse," when someone calls me, " #MrHerLastName."

Piper - yeaeaeaeeaeassssss 👊🏻

IMO, in today’s world, that makes perfect sense. Even going forward.

You know this is an American only issue right? Civilised countries are not having this debate.

I wrote a paper for my philosophy class 40 years ago taking this exact same position!

I told my wife when we married 30 years ago that this was her call. In the end she changed it based on tradition and concern about what her family would think, but I made no push for it.

For a few hundred years, this has been an option in the Quaker (Religious Society of Friends) community. It is an outgrowth of recognizing the equality, and property rights, of women

Quakers often have hyphenated names, too! I know a Grubbs-Saline and a Blood-Paterson. That way, the children have both parent's names

Keeping the birth family name was in aid of inheriting a woman's family property at a time when civil law in Britain would otherwise hand it to the husband. Not quite sure how it worked.

In the US, there are often laws that say "Quakers are weird, but whatever it is that they're doing is legal too"

In New York, the marriage law that requires a qualified officiant has a specific cut-out for Quakers, "...or in the manner of Friends." Quakers believe no one marries anyone except God, so the happy couple stand and recite their vows at a Meeting for Worship. Everyone present signs the certificate!

In Quebec, women have not been allowed to take a married name since 1981. The children of those unions carry both parents names. We are now into the children of those children and there are four names to choose from or any combination thereof. I like it.

It’s an outdated practice, and no benefit in today’s world.

Thanks, Jess! This is one of those low-effort democracy-building things that ordinary people can do: tell everyone considering marriage NOT to change their name, along with KEEPING or SHARING the baby car seats of any children. (These car seats will soon be unaffordable due to the Trump tariffs.)

I really wish I had not. I chose my own middle name when I was 6, but in KY and FL, a woman MUST use her maiden name's initial for her middle initial on her driver's license. So they took my middle name away because I got married.

Great idea!! Never changed mines. Just added his to end. If it ever ends, will just delete!! 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

Same

In retrospect I would keep my maiden name.

Absolutely!

💯 my daughter kept her last name just as I did.

They can't even move legally to vote

Everyone has given me so much grief for not changing my name. I saw my mom have to rebuild her credit after divorce, it was an easy choice, now even more so.

I’m thinking about changing mine back.

And keep that passport ready in the meantime.

My daughter is getting married in November and I warned to absolutely NOT change her name.

How it just should be...

Trying to decide if I’d rather be a pregnant young woman of color driving across texas looking for a place to vote or just jump straight into a Kafka novel.

We live in a fucked up place.

I support this. It’s patriarchy BS.

What if they marry a guy named Bob Shark?

Let the man change his name

I hyphenated mine, but if I didn't know I'd have a passport by the time I need to vote again (and will be living in a state that has enhanced IDs, not just real ID), if be changing it back. And I shouldn't have to be doing that logistics calculation in order to fucking vote.

If you have an enhanced ID, that should (for now) be ok. Most people don’t have that option. But it does meet the criteria in #1

I don't live in a state where I can get one right now, but we are moving to one where it is an option this summer and that's what I'll be opting for when I change my license. Between that and my passport, fuckers better let me vote, lol.

😂😂😂

Good conversation to have. I just replied on one of your other posts that I hyphenated my last name when I got married. Don’t do that, either.

💯 why in the fuck did we ever adopt giving up our name? I took my first husbands name and upon divorce I couldn’t rid myself fast enough. I’m remarried using my maiden name. Never again. With kids, parents can hyphenate both. I wish I had.

I’ve always wondered… John Smith marries Jane Doe Their child is A. Smith-Doe A. Smith-Doe marries C. Jones-Harley. Their child is F. Smith-Doe-Jones-Harley WTF?

Welp, Latin America figured it out. All I know is i would never change my name again and if I had daughters I would recommend same. It’s a dumbass tradition. Fuck giving up parts of me to be married to a man. Happily married now to a man who could care less.

How did LA address the never ending hyphenation scenario?

Children take both their fathers surname and mothers surname together. No names are changed with marriage.

A friend of mine living in a far-red state just got married but did not change her name officially, only “in spirit”. I expect we’ll be seeing more of that, but not enough to be an electoral strategy.

They can use their husband’s name socially if they want, without changing it legally.

Exactly.