Tried to get my real ID. I had my license, my SS card and my birth certificate. I was not allowed to get my real ID because my birth name is different than my married name. Now I have to go dig up a marriage certificate. You know who wouldn’t have to do this? A man. Never change your last name.
Try being divorced and remarried. You get to produce multiple marriage certificates AND your divorce papers. I never thought to bring my divorce decree from years ago. Nothing even changed namewise when I got divorced. I kept the name!
Already told my daughter that
Women are going to find out they will not be allowed to vote because of the name change and especially if they don’t get a real ID.
My wife has dementia and I’m her poa. I am so glad she kept her name, otherwise at this point a name change at our marriage would have complicated everything unnecessarily.
This was the plan all along because if a woman takes her husbands last name and the Republicans change the rules that everyone must have a Real ID to vote - all married women are screwed.
All you have to do is take your marriage license and the paperwork returned to you from the ss office for the name change. This has been the case for a decade or so.
My daughter didn’t. Such a smart young woman!
I was 1st in line at the DMV. I thought that I would be in and out, right? Nope! Indiana refused my Ohio birth certificate, saying that it wasn't legal! After an hour of them talking to someone in Indy, I finally got it.
Texas refused my embossed notarized Ohio birth certificate, too. It’s a total mess. Can’t get a Texas dl so I’ve stuck with my GA dl despite living in Texas for a few years.
I'd try again. I think that it wasn't busy, so they had the time to straighten it out. And the little girl helping me was so sweet
I tried in Ohio to get that stupid thing. I gave them my ORIGINAL birth certificate....footprints and all. They refused to accept it because it was issued by the hospital, not the county. It was all I could do not to yell at the clerk!!
Congratulations!?!? Ohio had to be talked in to recognizing you as a citizen. Geez, this isn’t going to end well for any of us.
Indeed. Another barrier. Requiring an official birth certificate which isn't always the one your parents were given at the time, with associated fees and ability either to get to your state's office during business hours or to pay online.
Welcome to Indiana, run by idiots.
My town of 12000. The mayor will have spent 100 million by the time his term is over. But we have a new bike path!
We can explain it fast in FloriDUH.
It amazes me how hard Red states are so stupid.
Money expectations and hard core, disavowment that what they support is the reason for their lives getting worse. I roll my eyes about the well educated people dining at the authoritarian table. Psychopaths perhaps?
Absolutely!
And fucking POOR. Why are 96 of the poorest counties in America RED? They vote against their own best interest -- constantly.
Gerrymandering and voter suppression in those states are astronomical compared to blue states. Tx, FloriDUH, and any other state trying to jury-rig 2026 are prime examples.
In a word: Uneducated.
They may be uneducated but they're sure as hell indoctrinated.
Yeah. 😞
I wish I’d kept mine, not for convenience or equality but because I had a European, unpronounceable first, middle, and last that befuddled all Americans and now I’m a Smith. And then there’s that whole patriarchy thing.
Be glad you are a smith. Having an unusual name these days makes it easy to Google you. I have a name so common that no one tells me they found me on Google.
Hadn’t considered that, good point
If I didn't already have one, I'd change it to one.
It's the main reason I did take my husband's name because in this day and age of 'profiling' my maiden name would have sparked, "oh, you are a foreigner? Are you legally here or are you a deportee in waiting?" Of course I was aware of the 'status' nature of the name, too. I still get that question.
I renewed my passport in case we need to prove citizenship in order to vote in the future. This would be completely illegal because passports aren't free. So it constitutes a tax on those who have changed their name since birth (mainly women). If you can afford it, don't let MAGA disenfranchise you!
The last time I looked it was $130 to renew Guess I need to get that into the budget somehow
Yes, I think it was about that much. There's an online form you can use that's pretty straightforward. It even accepted a photo I took myself at home against a plain wall. The photo guidelines are provided.
Outrageous. 52 years ago, I had a big fight with an election clerk bc Ohio took women's names off the voter list when they got married, expecting us to re-register in our husband's names. Watch this space.
I wonder what hoops JD Vance, né James Donald Bowman, had to jump through do to get his...
And Vance apparently has two more names, as well.
In Iowa, your county recorder can get you a copy of your marriage licence. I had to get one when I got the gold star, too, and felt grateful that I didn't have to drive across the state to get it. My husband, however, didn't have to cough up an extra $15 as I did for a copy.
A problem arises if, perhaps, you married in some podunk little town 40+ years ago and then moved possibly across the continent. I had to get my birth cert & 1st marriage cert from decades before, from a town 1200 miles away. I was lucky the records hadn't been lost or destroyed.
I told my wife not to change her name. Everyone knew her by her maiden name, and I thought her first name and my last name sounded awkward together. So what did she do? She used her and my last names together, à la Rodham Clinton, which has proven to be highly problematic.
Plenty of men that change their last name, and have to do the same thing. Are you claiming they don't?
This affects women far, far more than it does men. It's silly to pretend otherwise. How many men do you know who changed surnames for any reason? Some adoptees, yes. But men do not usually take a spouse's surname. It's a VERY small fraction of men affected.
Expect this from the pedophiles sycophants . www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
It's a ridiculous custom
And that’s what will prevent thousands of women from voting, if the “SAVE act” is passed. 🙄
Women who CAN should start the revert to birth name process now to prevent this. You know it'll be old shifty Johnson who ends up the tie breaker on this and you know what his vote will be if it comes to it.
Been married 35 years. Never gave a seconds thought to changing my name. Why would I? Why should I? Absurd - and now dangerous- convention.
I never considered it as well.
Good for you. I got married mid 60s and I was 18 and that was the thing you did. When we got divorced years later, I changed back to my maiden name even though my ex-husband told me that children would be upset. They were not.
Thanks to advocates before you, you could do things like that. I bet there is a change coming on the fast train to 1945.
A lot of women did it because of (1) cultural inertia, (2) family traditions, (3) personal agreement with their partner. It's understandable.
30 years married. Same. Didn't change my name. Never saw any purpose in it.
Yes, but now, you have to prove why you have a different name than your birth certificate. How quickly can you lay your hands on your og marriage license?
No; my name is what it is and always has been, thankfully. I would never consider changing it to my husbands.
I would never do it. Who would want to be Mrs. Mansname for society's convenience?
I never thought it was dangerous, but now... I'm thinking of reverting back to og.
Wait, how do you revert back? Is it just a name change in front of a judge?
Whatever the process is, it is going to cost something for the person requesting the name change.
I am uncertain of the process within each state or if it's a federal process-some nice law person might know.. but I do believe it's birth certificates, paperwork, MONEY and a bit of time for the process, which is why I think do it now.
I never understand why women change their last name when they get married... it's not as if anyone needs their husband to change their name when they marry.
I have no interest in being associated with/named after my abusive father, and prefer to share a name with my life partner. 🤷♀️
When I got married in 1999, I didn't know I had a choice
Wow. So they have changed this. I have was able to do it a few years ago.
I had to do that, too. My mother doesn't fly ever, but I wanted to get a passport for her, just in case they eff around with voting. I had to order her marriage certificate. She's 87. And widowed. They hate women.
It's terrible but good on you for ensuring your mother can vote even as people try to take that away.
How many voters will not bother?
I never changed my name. Been the same since birth and never regretted it for even one moment. I recommend it.
I got married last year and didn't change my name.
Yep Just another slap at married woman
I'm so so glad I never changed my name. Now more than ever
I am too attached to my last name. If I get married, I'm keeping it. First name is too common but with last name and middle, there is only one other person.
Yes. And the people driving this know that it is harder for women but don’t want women to vote. Or have any voice.
BINGO!!!
Unfortunately a lot of us changed our names a long time ago
Beyond stupid that we maintain this antiquated practice. Even stupider is this pen and paper bureaucracy system that doesn’t interface whatsoever with the digital world we actually live in.
You would have to do something similar for a passport.
BUT. IF YOU HAVE A PASSPORT, you don't need real ID (Which works well if you got the passport card for Canada/Mexico travel.)
I have both.
Never did, and now I feel like the wisest woman ever. 💃
I had to go through it because I took my wifes last name. Good times.
I did and then changed it back after a divorce and that was yet another headache.
Ditto…. But after re-marriage, I kept my maiden name.
That was one of the whole points of the requirements for real I. Make it harder for women to vote
Exactly, women are more likely to vote Democrat.
Before the MF became president I got all of my legal papers in order. If you didn't, shame on you. We all knew what the fuck was coming.
😕
Before the pandemic, I had to renew my license, and I needed to also include our marriage certificate, in order to obtain my real ID. I live in NYS. So I don’t think it’s a new request, despite it being a pia.
It's not "new." It's been a law since 2005, just not enforced. We've gone 20 full years without it being fully implemented (even significantly partly implemented), which tells us it was, and is, completely unnecessary. Not having it in force for 20 years clearly did no damage.
I did not. Swore if we had a girl she'd get my last name. 3 boys later, I'll have to wait for a grand daughter.
If I had it to do over, I wouldn't change my name.
What state are you in and that’s fucking ridiculous!! I have my passport so I can’t even apply for real id until closer to my passport expiring. That’s suspicious too.
Wut?? I hadn’t heard that real id access was restricted to passport holders?
Restricted FOR
Try having a divorce and 2nd marriage. It is insane.
Me! Got it in one shot.
Such 🐂💩! 😡😡😡
This happened to me too. I had to get my passport first and then use that to get my real ID. The things the expect women to do and then the way we are punished because of the things they expect.
it’s true. Women should not change their names. it’s now too complicated with so many departments and databases. There are countries where they don’t even let you change your name. It’s good advice. Keep your name.
Funny how, for a lot of us, NOT taking your husband's name at marriage was regarded as uppity feminazi stuff. Now, this.
Now its just common sense. lol.
This is another way to keep women from voting-require the real ID, difficult for women to get, easy for men.
That's bullshit, sweetheart.
And what is BS?
What that chick said is bullshitm
Doesn't seem like bullshit to me -- can you tell me why it *wouldn't* be expected to have that outcome? If it's expected to have that outcome and it will, why is what OP said bullshit?
Yes. It's not "easy for men", at least where I live. Second, the Real ID requirement was a response to 9/11, not women voting; third if the OP had used her brain she'd have realized that the name in her supporting documents didn't all match the name she wants on her ID and were, obviously, no good.
No. Listen instead of talking.
Nope. You wanna swallow bullshit, be my guest. Not for me.
What is bullshit is your intervention here.
Yup. But after showing every piece of id (birth certificate, marriage license, social security, work id, power bill)...it took my passport to get it. Poll tax.
When I worked in a law office, I had to dig back to 1946 for a client. It took hours because a lot of the older records aren’t digitized. We all had to show it to get our licenses changed initially. Why again? 🙄
In Italy, all official documents only show people's birth names. If married women want to be called Mrs Whatever, that only happens in social interactions.
That is awesome!! 👏
Holy cow. That's a great way of doing things. Why don't we do that? (And other great civilized ideas ideas like Universal Health Care!)
Not just in Italy women keep their birth name after marriage. However children take the father’s name and only the mother has a separate surname.
Actually, in 2022, Italy's highest court ruled that children can be given their mother's or both parents' last name. However, a specific law must be passed for that to become effective.
Good to have a choice if a law can be passed. Other countries as well use the same or birth name name system as well: Egypt is one—wives keep their father’s name when married. In USA it WILL SOON be weaponized to limit voting of married/divorced women who took their spouses family name.
This is how it should be done.
Never called Mrs. Refused connotation!
I’m 72, never did through two marriages, but you should have seen the brouhaha I went through in 1975 getting a new drivers license in my “maiden name”, the DMV gals went bat shit crazy on me for not changing my name and “being one of those damn feminists”, stood my ground, walked out smiling.
Did you get a credit card?
Oh, hell no, besides we were too poor.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️
Here in Quebec, Canada it’s been the law since 1981 that women must keep their birth name upon marriage. Fairly progressive for the time period. Some people think that it’s too draconian in the other direction, but I’m good with it.
I was a Montrealer, married a man from Ontario in Quebec. Kept my maiden name.We live in Ont.Now as it's time to retire, I need to change my name to his in order to be eligible for certain Fed benefits. Service Canada says it's usually only discovered when it comes time to apply for these benefits
Very paternalistic of Service Canada. Wow. What do Quebecers do I wonder? I’ll be in that situation soon, and since I still live here, couldn’t change my name even if I wanted to.
Service Canada were quite helpful. Good to get ahead of it in case there's some different rule for your situation. Possibly different rules when you are in Quebec. Good luck. 🙂 (Just an FYI, The Ont government sent out election "bribe" cheques.) I couldn't cash it as it was in my maiden name(!)
Thanks. You’d think that they would get with the times though. It is 2025 after all. I did the opposite of you. Grew up in Ont, married a Montrealer. 😊 Why am I not surprised that Doug the Thug sent bribe cheques?
You know who ELSE wouldn’t have to do this? A actual foreign spy or terrorist living under deep cover as a mole/sleeper.
Amen to that, I told me granddaughter that exact same thing. When I got married no one told me that was even an option.
When I married in 1972 my name changed by operation of law! Divorce laws allow your former name to be restored in your final decree. Had an old judge who refused the name change if you had children!!
Yes, I married the first time in 1979 and it wasn’t a choice; but it was being discussed. When divorced in 1992, I wanted SO badly to change my name, but had two sons and I opted to keep it to make their lives easier. Didn’t matter - when I married #2, happy to take a new name, but was a PIA at time
We got married back then too. In those olden times a wife “took her husband’s name” Meaning she got to “use his good name” for things like getting credit or owning property. Things a single woman couldn’t do on her own. Disgusting to look back on.
My wife didn't change her last name when we got married years ago (pre-fascism era) bcz we thought it would result in extra paperwork. Little did we know... #F**kt***p
Our marriage license is a microfilm image and notarized. We have to argue with state people that it is legit. Yeah, we’re ancient and it’s like a museum artifact. Ladies - keep your name.
YEP! I never changed mine and my MAGAt MIL has always given me shit. It’s a cult.
When I got my real ID in MN, I presented my marriage certificate and the rep side-eyed it like she didn't want to accept it and lemme tell you, the way I cursed the patriarchy for everything and lamented ever changing my name kinda freaked that poor lady out. But she accepted the certificate!
The lady who did mine kept saying, "You were born with surname x, got married & had surname y, divorced & kept surname y until you remarried, right, and now your surname is z." It didn't seem to me to be that difficult to understand.
My wife and I are going through this process now and it is incredibly time and labor intensive. And so many of these require you wait for an earlier step in the process to happen before you can move on, it's not like one day you could mail out all of the requests to change your name in one go.
Its such bullshit
I went to court earlier this year to have my name legally changed back to my birth name. I only changed it in the first place to please my father. Now that I have MY name back, everything matches. I agree - don't change your name!
Precisely one of the means of vote suppression the right-wing are counting on the SAVE Act to bring about in order to entrench the minority party as our rulers.
Dumb question: Is this federal-level or your-state-may-vary-its-RealID-compliance bullshit? I think it's federal because RealID, but I'd love confirmation. Asking for someone who'll affected by this bullshit soon in an otherwise sane state.
It's federal level compliance to be able to board planes and enter federal buildings. Mandatory now, too.
Was asking more about how strict the state dmvs are about granting a realid. Also why is Bsky asking me if I'm writing in Portuguese?
Mine asks me if I'm writing in English! The states now issuing them both-ordinary and REAL ID-the Real ID is required for going on planes and into federal buildings. You can have an old-style one if you do neither. I had to have one to fly.
It's federal, but mandatory only if you plan to fly or enter certain federal areas. If you don't do those things, no, you're not forced to have a Real ID.
I said that. You can still have an ordinary ID without it, if you don't plan to fly or go into federal buildings/property. I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't had to. My ID wasn't due to be renewed for another 3 years.
And men...step to the front of the line. no hassles...you're a man.
So you don't have to go back a third time, the marriage license can't be the "pretty" one that you signed on the day of the marriage. It has to be the official one from the recorder's office.
I’m sure I will need to do this too. Glad I still have my divorce papers.
Be aware that they will generally insist on certified copies, not just photocopies. That's for your birth cert, any marriage licenses, and any divorce decrees.
Do they keep them bc I’d bring the originals if they just look at them.
I want to say most places made photocopies instead of making me leave originals with them. Those originals can get expensive. I got Real ID at the same time I did a marital name change, and carried all the docs around in page-protector sheets in a binder.
What a bunch of crap this evil pos is putting us through!! 😡 I wonder if I leave the country if I’ll even be able to vote by mail??
Good question. He wants to stop mail voting altogether.
Do they have dmv appts in your state or do you live in NC 🫠🙄
SAME! 😡 Married women need to get their real ID ASAP so they can vote these men out who are creating more obstacles for women to vote!
That could actually make things worse if the Senate decides to pass the SAVE Act. A lot of our Real IDs won't match our birth certificates. We could be screwed either way. 19thnews.org/2025/04/save...
I had my marriage certificate with me when I got my Real ID and the dmv person insisted on putting my first name, Middle name (which I hadn’t used in years), maiden name and married name on the license. I thank him all the time for doing it. TSA still insisted on marriage license also. 🤬
I'm mad for you. That's ridiculous
From my understanding, Real ID Act requires Real ID-enabled Driver's License bear full name which mean full middle name.
Get a passport it’s easier.
You have a spare $130+ rush fees for everyone who needs one?
I didn’t 32 years old when it was relatively novel and have always been happy that I didn’t - have been happily married that entire time though:)
43 years ago. Remember when people said it would be confusing to people? Both my sons' middle names are my last name. My husband totally understood. It was right for us.
It never occurred to me then that we would be dealing with these antics.
32 years ago- why do my proof reading skills only activate after pushing send?
Conversely, why doesn't Bluesky provide the EDIT POST feature found on other social networks? As long as they provide a log of edits it is safe against fraud and other shenanigans. And it would save SO much frustration and embarrassed follow-up posts.
Been asking for months!
ALWAYS blame autocorrect.
I know! I’m the same 🤦🏼♀️
My reading skills read what you meant 😄
As immortalised by Taylor Mali youtu.be/LHykkOMN66I?...
😂😂😂😂
That is SO important 🤣🤣🤣
I don't know the cause, but I suffer from the same malady.
We need an edit button. I have deleted a Tweet (copied it first - then you do not have to retype) paste the old tweet and corrected it. Resend
Sorry for calling it a "tweet", but that is what it is. Musk threw the name away so it does not refer to his toxic sight.
I do that all the time:)
Me, too.
It's in our blood. We're all typo-positive, not to be confused with Type O-positive.
😂😂😂😂😂
I'm well-known by my friends here, and on Twitter before, for my typos. One of my friends came up with that a few years ago and it's been part of my bio ever since!
40 years ago for me. The marriage only last 2 years.
I had a marriage like that 35 years ago. She did not change her name and my current wife of 26 years did not either and neither will my daughter.
I had bought a house on my own before I met him, didn't want to go through changing everything, best decision I every made.
both my ex and my wife had professional reputations that they wanted to of course keep. I had a professor who went by her phd name on campus and her married name off campus.
I’ve been married the same number of years and was denied due to a made up issue with the 37 year old marriage certificate from my first (we don’t speak of it) marriage. It was good enough for my passport, but Read I D won’t accept it 🤷♀️
I didn’t change my last name and one of my mom’s friends asked her “How will people know she’s married?” It’s been 25 years and I am still pondering this question.
Who gives a shit!! It’s none of anyone’s business anyway. They want to know they can ask you. 🤷🏻♀️
Right?!? Just the weirdest take.
I changed my name when I got married last year. I was 50/50 on the decision. I now carry my marriage certificate just about everywhere “important”. I’m working on the passport now to bypass most of that craziness. But if things get crazy, I will just change it back.
That is way crappier than my 2 attempts when they would not take my pay stub because my employer's phone number was not on it.
And you need 2 utility bills in your name. I took everything, but didn't have utility bills. They finally looked up property tax that had my name on it also. It was a pain.
Totally agree. I wish I'd never changed my name. I had the same problem with getting my real ID license.
Yes, I had to drag out all this stuff when I applied. Making sure I know where they are in case I need them to vote in the next election.
Amen! Men do’t have to deal with this beaurcracy. We as women can choose a life partner and marry them. But, we don’t have to give up our name & identity. Clearly, the system is biased against women who take their spouses’ last name. I hope you can find the marraige certificate.😊🤞
Girl tell me, on my third and final marriage, one of them left, one of them died, one of them still lives in my house. Took me 5 months and cost me about $400 to get everything I needed..........said no man ever.
Republicans are trying to do the same with voter registration
Changing names is ridiculous. Also, the DMV sucks. My brother-in-law tried to get his real ID and they wouldn’t take his original birth certificate.
Missouri is a DMV hell hole. Women are fair game for exploitation. Not safe for innocent people.
I'm divorced. I wanted to change my name back on my license. I went to the DMV with my changed SS card, my birth certificate, my marriage license & my divorce decree saying I was allowed to change it back, they told me the divorce decree had the WRONG STAMP on it from the court. Ffs. Never change it
Not changing my name when I got married 20+ years ago keeps being a good decision.
BTW … I’m still married. Love my hubby.
I've never been married, but always knew that I would never change my last name just because I love my last name, even though I don't use it on most social media.
I changed mine because I hated it and my dad was an asshole. But thirty years later I don’t want my ex’s name either.
Same! I stuck with my exes name but really only because I want to have the same last name as my kids. But both he and my dad are assholes.
I had to do that
I had to provide a whole file folder of documentation. I would have kept my name if I had known.
My marriage certificate was from the church, I needed one from the county😡
1. This. 2. Never allow idiot men into power anymore.
I agree, 100%. However, If you do find yourself in this predicament, I can verify that in California a passport plus residency documentation bypasses the need for the birth certificate.
(i meant marriage certificate…)
To be fair, I can no longer remember if I had to show proof of change of name for the passport but the point is if you’ve done it for the passport, you don’t have to do it again, or you shouldn’t. It might depend on your state.
but given that passports are accepted for domestic plane flights along with real id…. who remembers real id being signed into law in **2006**?? that’s how long this POS thing has been hanging around, thanks to 9/11 and bush jr
Also, women who think they have passports and so they are safe: the Trump administration is already talking about finding ways to revoke passports
Or a married Italian woman.
I didn’t change mine for this reason. Every day I’m more and more thankful I didn’t. Just one more obstacle for women.
I just changed it at the DMV when I renewed my driver's license. It's saved SO much trouble.
Meaning I took back my maiden name.
In Quebec your government id is the name you were born with. They don't like losing their citizens to name changes. Unless of course you legally change your name through a legal procedure.
It's bullshit.
It's surprising to me how many of my contemporaries and those a lot younger, take their husband's name. But it seems a lot of men still get their little egos bruised when it comes up. Our conversation was simple: 'Are you changing your name?' 'No' 'Ok'
My husband didn't care, I just changed because I liked his name better. I would make a different choice now.
My husband also has a nicer name than mine, as it happens! But still not worth the hassle or the change of identity, to me.
I have that problem, no longer have the first certificate from over 50 years ago and they didn't have the "official seal" then. I also need the divorce certificate and my current marriage certificate, all with "Official seal."
I had to have all that stuff (& much much more) for my Irish citizenship in 2020, so it was readily available. I was only married a couple years in my 20’s & never changed my name then either, but I dug it up for Mother Ireland. 🇮🇪 Was worth it.
But Piper is such a cool last name!
Why would you get on a plane? Especially a Boeing. Yeesh
Yep. I had to do the same thing in PA
I never changed my last name when I got married and I am now so thankful I did NOT!
OR, never vote for a paranoid, pathological lying, racist, bigot, facist, misogynist control freak anal pore.
The same asshats that designed the vacuum cleaner---the ones that NEVER use it or have to deal with the complications.
So fucking grateful I kept mine when I got married 34 years ago. I never thought we'd be where we are today -- just thought I was being cool and feminist. But here we are.
I never did.
So your license is not a 'real ID' anymore?
Nope, it’s basically vetted the same as a passport
It is if you have an enhanced driver's license- which requires the same hoopla. And only five states offer it: Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Vermont, and Washington.
Real ID is used for federal buildings, and flying-either domestically or internationally. You HAVE to have it to get past the check in process. Mandatory in all 50 states. Maine was one of the last holdouts, and that's why I finally got mine-I had to fly somewhere.
Double taxation!
Republicans don’t want women to vote. This is one of the way they’re doing it.
That is just total BS .... But we all knew it was coming because of a bunch of old men who are trying to bring back the 1950's 🤬
I had the same problem 😡
I changed mine back after a divorce, the best thing I've ever done.
I'm guessing the name was second-best. The best must have been the divorce. :>)
Long story short, I changed mine, too. I didn't know I wasn't officially divorced at the time. I had the filing pprwork with me but didn't have a judgment yet (that came 7 yrs later, again, long story). A supervisor heard me crying, came over & told the clerk to push the change to my maiden name ❤️
Same!
Correct. And if you do change your name back to your maiden one, you are taxed for changing: car registration, mortgage docs. Credit histories can be deeply affected as well. NEVER ADOPT A NEE NAME VIA MARRIAGE.
Yep.. same experience I had too. In Az
Wow- did not have that problem in Illinois
My daughter didn't take her husband's sur name for that exact reason. She is very against having to show "a chain of custody"
Truth in the phrase ‘chain’.
And with trumps EO, we now need to provide ALL OF THAT when we go to vote. Aren't we lucky?
If you have a passport you should be able to use that. I did. I was adopted and didn't have that paperwork or marriage license
That's good advice-- except that more than half of Americans don't have passports and don't have any other need to cough up $165 for one.
I can’t even get an appointment at NCDMV for a real id.
Yes. Maybe Chinese women had the right idea going back, oh likely thousands of years. Who demanded women take the husband’s name anyway? Probably men.
Jess, my pinned tweet is all about this. You can use a passport if it has your current “Piper” name. If it’s expired, renew it & use to get your Real ID. Or contact the County Clerk where you got your marriage license. If divorced, get certified copy of decree with last name reverted.
This is an antiquated idea. Women shouldn’t have to become someone else, just to marry.
Totally agree, women keep your name
I did it in 1981 when I got married. Have been very happy with that decision. Kept separate bank & credit card accounts as well to maintain a fully separate personhood in the eyes of the financial markets. Happily married for over 40 years!
My Mom changed her last name when she got married, but she has always kept a separate bank account. Many young women today don't realize that WOMEN COULDN'T LEGALLY GET A CREDIT CARD IN THEIR OWN NAME BEFORE 1974 when the Equal Credit OPPORTUNITY ACT was passed unless they had a male co-signer.
Don’t change your name.
Well keep your father's name. No woman's last name is her own or her mother's in this society.
It's your name if you keep it & pass it on to your children, same as men do.
Nope. It was my father's name grand fathers name. My mother has her father's and grandfather's name. They are all male surnames so it really doesn't matter
1/ So what if it was a woman's grandfather's name. Women didn't used to be able to inherit property or pass it on. Now they can. Oh no, it's not her house b/c once it belonged to a man. Silly. I repeat, it's her name, if she keeps it & passes it on to her children. They'll get it from her.
2/ Luckily, progress will occur despite your ridiculous defeatism.
So western women's last name are not men's last names? Okay
That women's names once were men's is a non sequitur and an exceptionally silly one. Women having things that men once claimed exclusively for themselves is a central premise of feminism. Women can claim names the same way men do. By keeping, using, & handing them down.
I decided when I was 18 yrs old, I would get a tattoo of my signature on my shoulder, I waited 4 years and did it. My surname is not going anywhere (and I 2 yrs ago married and kept mine, as unpronounceable as it is)
Puh-latzee. Just like it's spelled.
Wut?
A-lee-say O-ut Oaf Puh-lat-say
😁
Ya done messed up a-a ron
Smart!
Ack — my first name is misspelled on my birth certificate. 😬 I kept my last name and both my kids have my last name as their middle name.
Been married 50 years and never changes my last name. Soon after we were married my husband changed his last name to mine. Made it legal and our daughter had there name changed as well. Most people didn't understand why we did it. We knew why. 86 47 now Trump Epstein impeach convict remove
never understood why you would change it in the first place.
There WAS a lot of societal pressure to do so. Also, some people like sharing a surname with their kids. My parents divorced, but Mom wouldn't take her birth name back. Why? Her own mother had been widowed & remarried, and she hated having a different name than her mother. I did it, too.
All this is very true. But I know a lot of woman who divorced, kept that name to have the same name as their children, and then re-married and took the new husband's name!
I don't know their situation or how old their children were. My kids were in their 30s when I remarried and took my 2nd husband's surname.
I hated my abusive father.
Sadly, you need to keep all docs handy, but in a safe place. Birth and marriage certificates, deed, etc
Get 2 copies of your documents if you can. Keep them safe. You never know when you'll need them.
Anything they can do to make female life harder. They just can’t cope with the fact that they want us, but we’re picky who we want to breed with.
I haven't attempted to get a real ID yet, because when I was confirmed (Catholic) in my teens I took a "middle name" and used that initial when applying for my SS number. I've had friends try to get IDs, but that confirmation initial isn't on their birth certs, so they were denied until a SS update
Nope. Never did. And that was when keeping one's name was a radical idea!
I've been married for 35+ years. I refused to change my last name. My husband always agreed. Says he's not my Dad... ☺️😉
Married 42 years in October and i never changed mine either.
My wife is in the same boat. This would not happen to a man. Misogyny and racism is now legal in the United States of America. To all the women that voted for Donald Trump, I TOLD YOU SO.
And men too
That too
This is the way. Inflexible toxic masculinity will be its own undoing.
Same 🙋♀️.
I never did. I'm not my husband's property so why should I take his last name?
Voter suppression.
Way too late, but I wish I hadn't taken his name. Actually, I wish I'd kept husband no. 1's last name.
My SIL kept her first’s husband’s name for professional reasons
In 1984 was married, loved my last name and never changed it. No excuses….and now it is paying off!
I’ll give you some better advice: don’t get married.
After 20 years of life together my now "wife" got it in her head that we had to be married. I resisted, relented, and she now bears my last name. Absolutely nothing changed in our lives aside from her last name. I still maintain that marriage is a truly useless concept.
I’ve been married and divorced twice. I eventually changed my last name back to my father’s sir name. It is exhausting. Patriarchal bullshit and as you know republicans are trying to make it harder for women to vote.
Hell they are making it harder for women to just exist.
Every damn day
The male gender needs to be reduced globally. They are the cause of all suffering throughout the world no matter the color, culture or religion.
And have been since the beginning of time.
Yep.
They would have already done it, but they need someone to make them a sandwich.
Republicans this time around are going down as the laughingstock and losers of the world, look at all the damaged they are doing to this country’s economy, relation with other nations and this country’s citizens welfare 😡🤬👎🏾
It sux! And they've made it worse. I didn't have to do that a few years ago because my social security card and passport have my married name. That was good enough then.
Would that be true if he hyphenated his and his spouses last names?
Omg it was a full nightmare. It took me forever to get everything together.
glad i went back to my maiden name. and I'm never changing my name again
My maiden name was the same as my husband’s surname. When I went to the registrar’s office, the clerk asked if I’d take my husband’s name, I said, I think I’ll hyphenate.
youtu.be/UXf5NSYG5Is?... Watch this video before getting a real ID. I don't recommend getting it.
If you want to fly anywhere you NEED Real ID to board the plane. It's mandatory now. Don't assume videos tell the truth.
I bet Jack White has this problem all the time.
Don’t forget 2 pieces of mail with your address on it too. Such a stupid process.
And the name has to exactly match your IDs. They would not accept a piece of mail that used my first initial, not first name.
So irritating.
Many states are now using this as a requirement to vote. Such an easy way to suppress women’s voting power. The Rapethuglikkkans constantly find ways of looking like they are doing a good thing while destroying people’s rights.
*Notes "Rapethuglikkkans" as a new English vocabulary learned.*
Love it! 🤣😂 I usually use refuckkklicans but Rapethuglikkkans is better!
Thank you. I try. 😜
* I came here to say this also. *
My husband and I are in our 60’s. He looked at me recently and said no woman should even consider changing her name ever again in this country. I love him so freaking much!
I agree I just worry about the kids now with hyphenated names having kids with hyphenated names How many last names in a row are too many Smith marries Jones Their child Smith-Jones marries Thomas -Sampson (Thomas married Sampson hence Thomas-Sampson)) Their child Smith-Jones-Thomas-Sampson
The kids should have whatever last name their parents agree on... one last name seems enough.
My girlfriend hyphenated her last name with her husband's name and her children chose the last name that they wanted. But the smart move for the woman is to keep her birth name as her official name and flex it when it suits her, such as PTA meetings.
Coolest last name should win
Our Great grandmother of kids with hyphens says the shortest last name wins - make it easier for the kid to write it
Women are also treated differently if they have different last names then their children
In over 20 years, I’ve never had any bad experience with having a different last name from my children, so not everyone is treated differently.
I had to explain it to one of my child’s classmates in grade school. He insisted I wasn’t her real mother, just her stepmother. I had to explain that the default is to keep your name after marriage. Changing your name is completely unnecessary and requires work on the part of the bride.
Strange we need to explain our last names - it really seems like ownership rights A last name should just be like a first name Just that
Good for you, you're the exception that proves the rule
My mother kept her surname and gave me my father’s and nobody made hay of it, even during bullying attempts.
Couple with different surnames in this family. Have children. Neither have ever noticed an issue about it. (Australia)
I went traveling with my husband's family, and it wasn't until we were at the airport sorting out seat assignments that I realized we had 5 last names among 7 people, and the only people who shared a last name were father-son duos
Wow - that is cool and a bit crazy My grandchild goes by three last names with in the family Biological dad Mom Step dad We are waiting until 18 for them to decide 😂
I wish! I ALWAYS got the call when the kids were sick, acted up, etc. I occasionally reminded the school that those kids had two parents.
This is just a different form of sexism
Absolutely! Especially as I'd be at the State Capitol and my husband would be 20 minutes away.
This hasn’t been my experience, fortunately.
Well it can definitely be awkward. My own daughter, maybe 5 or 6 at the time, told me I wasn’t part of the family because I had a different last name. Ha! Fun fact: Kids grow up.
I kept my first husband's last name for 8 years because I didn't want to have a different name from my small children. When I remarried to my current husband (of 25 years), I changed my last name to his; it's unique and pretty with my first name.
So true.
My son has my last name.
Very common in other cultures/countries
So are men, we’re treated like kidnappers or child molesters.
I now have 3 last names bc I wanted to keep my maiden name, first marriage had my kiddo so wanted to keep kiddo’s last name in my name, and I took my current husband’s last name too. If I ever get married again I’m definitely gonna just keep adding names.
I wasn’t planning on ever taking another last name, but my hubby’s last name rocks- and the first night we met, when he told it to me, I blurted out “I would get married again just to have that last name” (yes I was a bit drunk) so I really couldn’t back out after that 1st impression 🤪
I have a different last name than my husband and (now) 21-year-old daughter. I've never felt anyone treated me differently when it mattered. What judgy people think is not my concern.
Can confirm.
Two out of my three have different than me and some times it was challenging
Maybe this would work: "In Spanish-speaking countries, people have two last names: The first surname from dad The second surname from mom IE, A man named Carlos García López and a woman named María Rodríguez Pérez have a kid, they would be García Rodríguez. Both sides of the family are represented."
I think it would be awesome for girls to take their mother's name with them and boys to take their father's. So my daughter would keep mine when marrying and my son's would take my husband's
I still don't like that. It's still enforcing the gender binary and gender roles.
It’s a new world with gender fluid concepts - maybe we need a new concept in last names
I agree. The Icelandic idea is nearly there, I think, but it's still gendered as last names are the name of your mother or father with either "son" or "dottir" at the end. So, it's still gendered but less so.
But at the end of the day the child decides which name follows them, so I don't feel like it's strictly gendered.
I wonder if something like the Icelandic idea but maybe a combination of parents' names. For example: I would become Dee Lindanny instead of just having my father's last name. (mother is Linda, father is Danny)
Is it always the middle one or do they choose?
first surname is father's father's surname, second is mother's father's surname
The man still takes precedence.
In spain the order is chosen
yes, father's all the way down
Mothers first in Portugal
Occasionally, a person may choose to go by the mother’s name if it’s in some way unique or distinguished. For example, the director Alejandro González Iñárritu goes by Iñárritu because the Basque name is more distinctive.
Another not uncommon thing is for the kids to end up with a triple last name for much the same reason. My ex-wife’s cousins have triple names because her uncle’s mother had a distinctive Basque name.
(I also am a bit amused about another cousin’s kids whose Spanish surname is actually an Arabic name plus a Flemish name.)
It is the maternal side
This is why I changed my name. I had the insurance but my last name and the kids didn’t match and it was such a confusion. But I should’ve have kept my name.
I did exactly this and can't wait to change it back as soon as my passport expires
FACTS
Another good reason for children to get their mother’s last name!
Yes, after all, she did all the work!!
This is why my mom kept her married name after the divorce. A friend of hers had issues related to her kids b/c her last name was different, even though she had full custody.
I don’t know that I was treated differently other than have some people look at me like I was crazy. Also I had to get used to answering to “Mrs. Husband/Kids’ last name”.
I would say "that's my mother-in-law, not me"
Same - the kids just called us Mr. Brian and Ms. Kathi (since we are Quaker and don't generally use last names in personal settings).
Lol
My wife kept her name. Our kids basically have my last name (with hers as a second middle) and it was sometimes annoying to her when they were in school. But her name is first on most of our accounts and such, so I'm the one most often getting Mr. Wife's Last Name. I just find it amusing.
Eh. We split the difference. One kid has his last name, and one has mine. It wasn't much of a hassle for either of us.
45 years of marriage. I don't believe my wife ever experienced that.
Male opinion from man who doesnt actually KNOW anything is just assuming his wife hasn't experienced a specific form of sexism... ok
My experience isn't universal, neither is yours. Could give a rat's ass about your nasty opinions.
& there are also women who dont even NOTICE sexism because its so baked into society. So I'm damn sure not going to take a MANS opinion on what sexism his WIFE might've experienced, ESPECIALLY when he hasn't asked directly... does she tell you every time she experiences sexism? 🙄learn your place
It isn't even your experience. You're speaking on your wife's behalf and you said urself you didnt know. Stop speaking over women. Im acutely aware that women have different experiences&never claimed all women noticed this. Not sure what "your" experience changes.
I dont give a fuck about your opinion either and yet you decided to air it. One that you dont even know for sure. Go fuck yourself.
Many cultures have multiple names. It’s a blessing to be part of a family. To each their own.
Hispanic countries solved this problem a long time ago.
Just keep it matriarchal then.
My child has two surnames and they are not hyphenated so that they can chose what works for them. We selected the two names we needed to show that the child belonged to both of us.
I hyphenated, but the two names together exceed many data entry spaces at companies. So I have a whole host of diff versions of me that *I* did not ask for. And it dings me now n then when things don’t match.
My kids have my last name. Just pick one.
Italian women keep their names, children traditionally would take the husbands last name but now they may take either.
People should carry whatever name suits them. This patriarchal 💩 that everyone in a house should carry only the male surname should have stayed in the Dark Ages where it belongs.
Kids should have their mom’s last name because moms are 9/10 the primary parent.
Yup, agree, no hyphenation. Keep it simple. Kids have their mom's last name. Easy and super practical. (Mom's mostly arrange school stuff and medical appointments etc)
I only have 1 hyphen and it's caused me headaches my entire life. People seem totally unable to comprehend it, and/or the computer systems they use won't accept it. I end up with half a dozen versions of my name across various institutions, and then nothing ever matches up.
The correct format is Name1-Name2, but I get Name1name2, either Name1 or Name2 on its own, Name1 as middle name and Name2 as last, both names but with a space instead of a hyphen, or Name1-na.. [cut off at a random point because it's too long]
That's a lazy programmer problem
I understand what they were doing by hyphenating names but yes it must be/or will be difficult for the kids in the future, especially women. And the way things are going, it's another way for the govt can disenfranchise women voters. This govt wants a 'Handmaids Tale' universe
I know a couple they have two kids. One has her surname the other has his surname. It’s just a name and names don’t bind families.
True - so many loving step parents My grandchild is blessed with this situation
We gave our daughter my husband’s last name. No hyphens. However, back in the 80s, I would hyphenate my signature so the school would know her parents were married. I wouldn’t bother now.
I had 2 unhyphenated last names, neither of which is my current last name, which I got from my husband. But b/c the computer on which my passport renewal was entered wouldn't accept a hyphen, its all run together on both my PP & now my VA driver's license, even though it's supposed to be hyphenated.
This is the stupidest argument. Just because your parents followed one convention doesn't mean the kids have to also.
I asked my pottery instructor, Smith-Jones, the same thing. I did not get a reply.
You may want to refer your question to The British Royal Family, as they all have about 10 names.
I think about this often as my kids names are hyphenated. None of them plan to change or add to their last name. I always thought they would drop one. Nope. They love it now that they are older.
Women have kept their own names in Quebec as a default since 1981. Hyphenation has not gone out of control.
I think that’s the problem.
Spanish cultures manage it fine. You don’t keep an ancestors list!
You know what? My kids have a hyphenated surname. They can name any kids they might have as they see fit. I don’t have a say in the matter, so whatever they choose to do is fine with me.
In 1983 as the birth of our first child approached we grappled with this and settled on what we heard was the Icelandic tradition. If our baby was a girl she would have my (her mother’s) last name and if a boy, his father’s last name.
In the early days of data processing we thought 15 characters was plenty for a LastName field.
I think that says way more about the people who assumed than it does the proliferation of hyphenated last names
Hyphenated names weren't really popular in the U.S. until the 1980s, so you're right on that account. But even in the 190s plenty of foreign names were already longer than 15 letters. I think early field sizes were driven by a combination of average names size and the high cost of data storage.
I agree
i know a kid whose parents both had hyphenated names, and they each picked one of their surnames and hyphenated those. so nobody's got a matching last name in that family. it's fine, people work things out.
the spanish have a solution for this
“How many last names in a row are too many” According to the good people of Spain, you can never have too many names
I do love Spain
My wife kept her name as is mostly the custom in her home country, Italy. She’s trying to get her driving license for the first time ever in her life. I told her “thank goodness you kept your surname”. Her response? “Why the fuck wouldn’t I, it’s my surname, no offense to yours” hahahaha
Mine said the same
When we got married, we were both professionally established. She asked me if I wanted her to change her last name. I said, "F no. That's you. You don't change that for me. I know we're together. A name means nothing." I'm glad she listened. This is B.S.
I love him too!!!
Lucky girl!!!
He's a keeper!!!❤️
You love your husband and that’s a beautiful thing. So sweet and I am serious too. ❤️
Awe I love him too!
I am in the same boat. My one daughter was smart. She did not change her last name.
Includes divorces too, you need the official divorce decree, and any marriage licenses from previous marriages - even with the divorce decree 🙄
Same here. Had current drivers lic, expired military ID, social security card, PG&E bill, marriage license and they told me no. I needed a birth certificate too. Haven't seen it since 1985 so now I have to sort that out and go back.
Don’t forget your SSN. When you go to retire they will want that marriage license. God forbid you get divorced and change name again! 😖
I changed my married name back to my maiden name. I am so weary of jumping through hoops
I considered this, but I've gone by my married name longer than I went by my birth name.
I don’t think everyone needs to change their name - but I was happy to take my current husband’s name. Have never regretted it - even when jumping through Real ID hoops :-)
I agree. I did change my name back to my maiden name, but it doesn’t have to be done by everyone. I am divorced, though, and don’t want so many hoops.
Thank you I was born in 1964 and I always wanted to marry a man name Epstein, because that’s my last name. I never changed my name when I got married and I’ve been married for 30 years. And I’m a good Epstein. 😄
Better get a passport if you don't have one already. They're planning to not let us vote without a passport. The Real ID they forced us to get won't be good enough. Heard Indiana passed or is trying to pass a bill that married women have to be with their husband to be "allowed" to vote.
And pay the extra to get an additional passport card that can be in a wallet.
yoga - source? And, per the Constitution, each state is in charge of elections. This all sounds like a bunch of conspiracy theories to me. 34-felon can't even outlaw mail-in ballots. Real ID is a travel ID and is not required for voting.
Cold day in hell. I would leave that state in a second.
Mine expires in 2028 So I guess I need to find out when I can update it Those f’ers
I think that was a headline from the Onion, but omg, it's a matter of degrees, isn't it?
You can now apply online for a passport! Ever since 2016, we've made sure our family has valid, unexpired passports.
For a brand new passport not just a renewal?
Good question. This was a renewal. I'd check the State Dept website.
Yeah renewals hve been that way for a while 1st time and children’s still have an in person element. My son is about to get his 1st adult passport and he has to go into an office. Mine will be renewed online.
That was the main reason. Secondary is defensive maneuver against ICE kidnapping & disappearing people without due process.
Why would you get a passport for any reason other than international travel?
ID I trust very few states/government, especially here in Florida I like the potential for travel, and the passport removed an obstacle
Well at $165 it is out of reach for most U.S.
Passport cards are only $65. They have limited use, but still confirm US citizenship.
Per person!
Paying for the right to vote is illegal-- ...but do they care about the Constitution...no
💯
Real ID is fairly costly too, at least with a passport you can possibly travel somewhere for ten years
And the renewal is cheaper.
I agree that a passport is out of reach and far more difficult to get than a state ID. However, a passport card is only $65 (less than REAL ID in my state) with $30 for renewal. I suggest this route because your passport does not have your address on in, so it isn't voided by a move.
Good point! Also easier to carry in your wallet.
In many Canadian bordering states, you can get an extended drivers license that acts like the passport id card. If you’re in Washington state, New York, Minnesota, Michigan, Vermont they have them.
You can get the passport id card for cheaper. But it is a good idea to get it anyway. I got my son the card too to keep on him.
It's another form of Poll Tax.
^^^ This ^^^
Yes. I vehemently disagree with all the hoops Rethugs use to suppress voting. It is also alarming that we are in a place where govt is asking citizens to "show your papers" or risk being disappeared w/out due process.
It's another way to exclude women voters
That’s 1 way to keep the really poor people from voting,for a democracy America sure makes it hard to vote. I’m Canadian, I worked federal elections as a poll worker when I was in university for some extra cash. Here you can show up at your polling location and register on the spot. Most ID accepted
One year I forgot to renew my driver's license & only realized it when I handed my driver's license to the poll worker & she told me my license had expired. She asked if I had a dated piece of mail with me which I did in my purse(I don't even think it was from a utility), so they let me vote.
Yeah, there is a list of approved ID. It is very easy to vote, they make it so even people without an address can vote, as long as you are in the correct polling location for the area you call home, even if you are homeless. If there is a problem they audit the ballots and books. It’s all recorded.
A passport card is $65 and will work for real id plus travel to Canada and Mexico and some Caribbean island nations. It is still expensive though.
It's good for 10 years.
The United States is about in the middle of developed countries when it comes to the cost of a passport. The Turks and the Australians get the s*** end of the stick with fees. Hungary and the Czech Republic are the cheap end of the scale. I feel like they should be a super nominal fee. Or free.
That’s by design.
And trying to dig up a birth certificate. With the majority of everything on the internet the older generation has a very different time obtaining birth certificates and passports. If not tech, the cost on a fixed income.
Applying online is easy breezy. I still would advise getting the photo taken by someone who takes passport photos. They can be picky about that. And if you are a married woman who changed their name, don’t let it expire, that saves you hassle later.
When I applied online I got my passport back in less than 10 days.
Is that new? My family & I all got ours last December but we couldn't apply online. We had to print out forms then go to the post office for pictures & such. The employee there did the official stuff for us & mailed it off. We did get them in 2 weeks though instead of the quoted 6-8 weeks
Very new. It was in beta for a while. My wife just did it. Took pic at home & turnaround was about 10 days!
Same here. I was amazed at how quickly it was handled.
Oh that's awesome! That saves money on having to get the photo taken too.
I doubt this is true.
We renewed my sons a year early just in case there was no state department in a year.
How backwards can this GOP go?? Women in Indiana, this is your vote!!
Yep. Literally anything day now...
They're declaring AntiFa (which stands for Anti Fascist and isn't really an org let alone a terrorist org), and they're trying to make it so terrorists can have passports revoked. This to say. be prepared to defend your vote from whatever vote snatcher bs they come up with
That is exactly the plan. Anti trump = Anti-fascist Anti-fascist = Domestic Terrorist.
That’s absolutely outrageous, passports are expensive and not everyone can just fork over $165. If that’s not voter suppression, I don’t know what is..
It's not true... please don't believe everything, even on Bluesky.
No worries, I didn’t think it was.
No, the Indiana legislature is not trying to make married women bring their husbands to vote. That idea is a viral rumor, possibly stemming from a satirical article published by The Onion and amplified by misinformation surrounding proposed federal legislation known as the SAVE ACT.
Like IN wouldn’t jump right on that. Spent most of my life there, the R locked state will be CHEERING when and if it passes. Different description, same IDEA.
Welp... were going to have to dig him up and un-cremate mine.
What if their husband is a wife?
13 states have enhanced real ids that will allow you to cross into Canada or Mexico without a passport. MN offers this and it has citizenship status on it and you can vote with it if you don’t have a passport but have changed your name by marriage
We may find in the months to come that you need to be part of the "in" group to get one. I made a point of getting one before Joe Biden's term expired. Get both the book and card. Store them apart. It's a backup in case a dishonest ICE agent steals one or the other and lies about your having had one
Wow!
That is not true. You may be confusing this with the SAVE Act, which may affect married women. The SAVE Act has passed to House but not taken up in Senate. If you have some real source, I'd like to see it.
Thank you for pointing out potential misinformation and helping to clear it up.
Voting rights for nearly every state can be found by going to the website of the Secretary of State for that state. Look for Voter Registration, and that leads you to other requirements for voting.
All I found was this *Onion* article saying that. theonion.com/new-indiana-...
My gawd, I haven’t heard that but I wouldn’t be surprised!
If you haven't heard that, the first thing you should do is ask where the person you're responding to got that info. Sometimes you haven't heard a thing because it's not true.
overheard
I’m from Indiana and keep up on local news. It’s not true, but there are some crazy people in our legislature that have suggested such things. Nothing surprises me anymore.
The additional benefit of being able to leave this godforsaken third-world nation with a passport, that is a fact.
That was from the Onion, but let’s hope they don’t get any ideas…
Kind of dismayed to see how many people will like or repost something that an anonymous internet account says they “heard”.
It’s easy to get a copy of your marriage certificate
I had to pay a fee and get a form notarized because I just had a photocopy, not an official copy. If the DMV believed I was married when I came here 23 years ago, if the Social Security Administration and the IRS agree that this is my name, why do I have to go through this time-sucking performance?
Because you chose to change your name.
No because the old white men are trying to put women down a hole they control.
Women don’t have to change their names.
If you have a birth certificate is that not your legal name? A marriage certificate indicates you are legally married. I don’t think that changes your name unless you choose that.
very customary to change name when married, like just checking a box kicks off the whole thing (unlike changing a name for other reasons)
Yes I understand that. But I don’t believe by doing that you have given up your birth name. And that is provable by producing a birth certificate. A woman can revert to her birth name on her legal documents any time she wants. Gov’t clerks might have hysterics if you do this but that’s their problem
depends on the divorce decree: www.womansdivorce.com/reverting-to...
Not the "new way" the government is trying to make it harder for married women to VOTE.
Very sad. Before retirement I managed driver licences, birth/death/marriage registration, mining registrations and disputes/judicial issues and Notary Public duties in my small 🇨🇦Canadian town. No darn way would I ignore a woman’s legal name as shown on her Birth Certificate.
Its in the project 2025. To take away the rights of women to vote. So they are slowly doing what they can. They know alot of lower income aka non white can't afford to do all the crap they want.
In the US, 79% of women chose to take their husband's surname at marriage. 5% more hyphenated their birth & husband's surname. It's not automatic; you have to change your Social Security ID name and then your driver's license/state ID, banking info, etc. www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/...
I changed my name to my husband’s because i detest my father and didn’t want his name. I had zero issues with getting a real ID…
I hear you. I had the same issue. I got my real id in CA back in 2020. No issues. I also had my passport which helped.
I legally changed my last name years ago, I get it, had to do the same thing.
Yup. Use his socially, if you want, but never change your legal name.
America is the most misogynistic country in the world. It’s right there next to Afghanistan the only difference is that women are allowed to read here.
Allowed to read so far…
Then there’s voting bsky.app/profile/sojo...
Republican Nazis are working on that as we speak. Didn’t Charlie Kirk belive women should not vote?
Which they’ve already talked about taking away from women, as well as requiring birth certificates that match voting registration. No one should think they’re not planning on taking away women’s right to vote.
I wonder if this isn’t being done on purpose. Essentially making it harder for women to vote. More women support Dems.
Of course. The republicans have been talking about overturning the 19th amendment for years. Christo Fascists and Tech Bros do not want women to have the franchise. American Taliban. This is part of Project 2025.
That’s exactly what they are doing
I don’t disagree.
Yes. Never change your last name.
It’s a victory if you can get your license in under 3 trips. No SS card since high school. (White people usually don’t need them.) Ordered one, but in the interim sent Passport in to be renewed 🙃 Name change is worse and you had to advertise it in a newspaper years back Have a nice day.
You still have to publish it in a paper, at least in some states. I had to do it in NY when I changed my name 5 years ago.
Got "my name" back after a youthful divorce. Never remarried and happily in the same relationship after 26 years. I was just making this comment the other day, "why is marriage the be-all-end-all for so many young people?" It guarantees nothing as far as commitment goes.
It is an archaic form of property ownership from a misogynist past. Sad that it has turned into a showcase of who can have the most showy elaborate (expensive) wedding. The happiest couples I know were the elopers and those who had most humble beginnings.
Marriage is not the same thing as a wedding. Marriage bestows rights that a couple does not have as unmarried couples. Why do you think gay folks fought so hard for the right to marry? It wasn't just about weddings; anybody can throw a "wedding," but that legal status can be really important.
Mine really was more of a broader commentary on the societal treatment over the centuries of whether people are legally coupled or not and why humans have taken this viewpoint. I understand your point as well.
I am divorce and needed that too..
Women have always been discriminated against. Years ago I applied and got a credit card. They refused to put my name on it - only my husbands.
Yep. In the 70s a guy wouldn't sell me a vacuum without my husband's permission
Happily married 31 years. I got My Real ID in 2020 which is good for 8 years. I had to get a Passport for overseas travel which took forever to get, four Month to be exact. I am grateful that both times I did not have any problems with my married name.
It’s the gop’s attempt to keep women from voting. Hmm I wonder why? Smh
I kept my birth name (I dislike the term maiden name) when I got married decades ago and it’s a hyphenated name. This causes much confusion seeing as my Husband’s name is different. Hyphenated names are pain with many computer programs. Keep your name, don’t take his or hyphenate it.
Yeah. "Maiden name" is... ick.
I hear it's easier to get a passport, but they are expensive.
Yeah but you can go overseas with them and they’re good for 10 years.
Don't forget to bring a bill for a utility that has Your Name and Your Address. Not your property tax bill, even when the property is in your name. Girls gotta have proof that they pay.
I called before I when to get mine so I had my marriage license.
Recently found out my identity was stolen. None of this is normal.
Oh no! What happens now?
Republicans, and i mean the voters as well as the electeds, are sexists.
Strong second! Ladies, taking your husband’s name is a terrible idea. Don’t do it! You’re signing up for years of having to explain, prove, and define who you are. And for what? You take on that thankless burden and he just takes it for granted. (Ditto re kids. Your wrecked body, your last name)
I'm married, kept my last name, and our child has my last name 👏🏻
Well done! 11/10 No notes
In Hawaii before the mid- ‘70s, women were required to take their husband’s surname—until the Hawaii state ERA passed.
Yikes! Sadly, it was like that around most of the US too. But that was 50 years ago. No need to still live in that era.
No kidding. I was able to cite the amendment in court when getting my last name back, along with changing my first name to the one folks had called me since I was 16.
How long before they demand that again 🤔 Never do it women!
Wondering how many R married women have passports? They may need them to vote someday in some states. Maybe by then they’ll be so brainwashed they won’t think they need to have the right to vote. Anything is possible with that crowd.
I was divorced and remarried and had to go to the county recorder and get my 1st marriage license, my finalized divorce docs that were filed in court and my 2nd marriage license🤬🤬🤬 so ridiculous for women!!
I wonder is this is an issue for hyphenated names
I thought about not changing mine in the ‘70’s wish I hadn’t. I do have both my names on my drivers license and voter registration.
Is that good enough to get a real ID? Seems like it would be common sense, but you know the government.
Nope, it isn't 🤬
Everyone fought for years against a proposed federal ID, so the idea was shelved decades ago. But now it almost makes sense—one universal ID could’ve prevented a lot of these headaches.
I'm sure it's a hassel, but shouldn't everyone in your family have the same last name?
How do you propose to make that happen, especially in a blended family? It's not 1950 anymore.
No. My kids will have my last name. If my partner feels strongly, he's free to change his, but more importantly, a name alone doesn't make a family.
I'm not saying a single family name makes a family, I'm saying having one name denotes more security and unity. Like with my family, we're the Sherwoods. Why not have the same name? Is it too paternalistic? Is it like asking a man to change his name? I'm just curious.
"I'm saying having one name denotes more security and unity." Assuming facts not in evidence. Your family is not any more "secure" or "unified" just because you all have the same surname. Kinda paternalistic that they all, in fact, have your FATHER'S name, and HIS father's... right?
I'm looking at it from the children's perspective. I'm not saying it's everything or if the family has mixed names it doesn't mean they're not united. I'm only saying a shared name can only add to that.
Again, I don't see how having different surnames DETRACTS from that unity. And it's not always possible. Take the case of a stepfather who cannot adopt his wife's children. Maybe he should take her ex-husband's name? For unity? Would you do that? ➡️
I get what you're saying & in fact kept my married name after divorce bc I wanted the same name as my kids. But aside from some issues with schools, etc., it wouldn't have made a huge dif if I'd reverted to my birth name.
A name doesn't denote unity or security. Furthermore, the problem isn't the name as much as it is the fact that women are the ones historically expected to give up their name [in some cultures]. Why? It's arbitrary & patriarchal. Women give birth; men don't. Following the maternal line makes sense.
Having the same name has nothing to do with unity, imo. To me, changing it would denote that I’m somehow his property. You wouldn’t do well where I live, because here it’s been the law since 1981 that women keep their birth name.
I'd do just fine where you live. In fact, I'd prefer it. Although, I'd prefer Ontario. No offense.
None taken. I grew up in Ontario, moved here for University and never went back.
Strong! Love this
My daughter has my last name and my sons have my husband's last name because that's what we agreed (and I thought I'd have more girls). It hasn't made a difference to them ever. And two are adults now.
Just thought growing up a child needs unity and stability. You know, sharing the same name signifies one family, completely unified. Like having different last names just seems strange to me.
I believe unity and stability in a family comes from love, respect, and consistent parenting, not last name choices.
It does. I don't know, it would just seem strange to me if my parents were Mr. Sherwood and Mrs. Flood.
Would it seem strange to you if that was what you grew up with from the time you were born?
👏👏👏
Literally haven't talked to the "man" that gave me my last name in years. Name doesn't make family.
No
Did you take more than 1/2 a second to think about that?
Didn't need to.
No
Learned that the hard way 47 years ago, after my divorce went back to my maiden name & I will never change it again…even if by some chance I do get married again(not going to happen). After my experiences w/ men I won’t EVER be married again.🤬😤
THIS! Yes, Real ID - LIKE PROPOSED Voting ID's would have the same problem Ensuring married or divorced women who don't revert to their maiden name are hosed. Doesn't SS track this data - should the fed government make maiden name info available in a datalink to DMV's?
They do not have any links to the government's database. There is no way for them to correlate the information. That's what I was told by the BMV. "We don't talk to them."
And my point is they should have a secure way to do this - if they are going to require a real ID to be vetted information
I'm a man who had to do this when I took my wife's name, first in Germany, then in the UK when I moved there. I'm guessing that's not really much of a thing in the US.
It happens sometimes, but it's not very common
One good thing about being a woman who married a woman, the last name thing as an actual discussion We wanted to have the same last name and I liked mine more than she liked hers, so we went with that It was at least a discussion
My sister asked me once if I thought women were equal to men in our society I said no, not until it's no longer assumed that women give up their last name. Until every couple has that discussion. Until then, we're still second class citizens
Exactly this. Some countries -like US- are so used to it that it doesn't strike them as weird that married women are expected to give up their identity, give birth and pass on the father's name to a child that came out of their body. No thanks. I'm glad to see this draconian trend being left behind.
😉
Exactly!!!
Thank Republicans for that gift. This is how they want to stop some women from voting.
Good advice! I kept my maiden name because changing it to my husband's name felt like ownership. I am me and now very close to 73.
I hear that!!!
Jess I have a long story about trying to get my Mom just an ID so she could get a handicapped placard and vote over 12 years ago. It was infuriating. She was disabled and divorced since 1976 and they still wanted the marriage license. She never got the ID and died of Covid in 2020. I want to scream
This violates the 14th Amendment, Section 1, Equal Protection clause. If a man does not need to produce a marriage certificate, neither should a woman.
My Dad could not get a real ID until he got a new birth certificate that included his parent’s names.
