I can't even manage one account, I can't consider having one more... this is all useless, I don't even feel like posting anything anymore... I'm not hungry, I'm not sleepy, I'm not feeling anything except for guilt right now... I don't even want to sing anymore...

venting is completely fine tho, this sounds like anxiety of some kind which is illogical

it would be fine if I didn't literally traumatize my friends. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but I ended up doing it anyway... and I can't go back. I can't undo all that. I can't give them back their mental health. I feel numb and suicidal; I can't forgive myself, I have to die with this guilt.

traumatize???