ok i'm really starting to get sick of normie friends and relatives being all "I'm going to order your book and then return it! That way you get the sales number and I get my money back!" WHAT THE FUCK. THAT IS NOT THE WAY IT WORKS.
Replies
Ironically these sound like people who would really, really benefit from reading your book, or ANY book
aug 25, 2025, 6:54 pm • 3 0 • view
How.....what even. I would like to study their brains under a microscope to understand how they think this plan works.
aug 25, 2025, 7:15 pm • 2 0 • view
FFS. Honestly, someone says that to me I will have to be like nah, don't buy it. Don't go anywhere near it. If you aren't interested, buy something else. Ugh.
aug 25, 2025, 7:12 pm • 5 0 • view
that's just awful. I've got lots of friends and relatives who don't read... but they're still happy to have it on a shelf in their home. Horrible shit to say to an author and yes, not how any of this works.
aug 25, 2025, 6:16 pm • 39 0 • view
its truly fascinating to see how people's brains work. they just get so excited when they think they've discovered an infinite chocolate hack
aug 25, 2025, 6:21 pm • 29 0 • view
"thanks for spitting on me, i'm sure it'll deepen our relationship"
aug 25, 2025, 6:37 pm • 13 0 • view
I think I’d have to beat someone with my shoe if they did/said that to me. That’s just so rude.
aug 26, 2025, 4:28 am • 1 0 • view
If buy the book and then demand your money back, it doesn't magically generate extra money! We don't BOTH get the money! It goes back to you! Do you think that the publisher doesn't keep track of returns? Why would you think that? It's a business!!!
aug 25, 2025, 6:16 pm • 173 6 • view
yeah i get it you think you're real clever, like you've figured out a scam.
aug 25, 2025, 6:19 pm • 112 2 • view
also i mean it kinda feels bad when people tell me this plan. ngl it does not make me feel good!
aug 25, 2025, 6:20 pm • 143 3 • view
I just tell them to request my book at the library, then borrow it. That's free and it is the best kind of sale for me, very helpful, thanks.
aug 26, 2025, 3:54 am • 1 0 • view
I'm gonna buy your book and then not return it. I'll even read it. Chew on that. 😎
aug 25, 2025, 7:18 pm • 6 0 • view
i knew there was a reason i liked you ;)
aug 25, 2025, 7:47 pm • 3 0 • view
oh I think COVID just destroyed a lot of people's brains socially honestly--between this, the way kids act in theaters now, and the shit with asking Gurm when he's gonna die
aug 25, 2025, 7:26 pm • 3 0 • view
That sucks. Like why wouldn't they want to really support you ?!
aug 25, 2025, 6:59 pm • 7 0 • view
Some royalties get withheld AGAINST returns. Not even the actual returns but the possibility of them happening in the future. So it's a net zero nothing except them going a long way around to say they don't want your book. Unreal. I'm sorry, Karella 🖤
aug 25, 2025, 7:10 pm • 18 0 • view
in all honesty none of these people were gonna buy it to begin with, so it's p much a wash XD
aug 25, 2025, 7:49 pm • 10 0 • view
You can also let them know that, depending who the distributor is, indie publishers will also lose MORE money upon return than if they hadn't made the sale in the first place; it's not just this-for-that. IngramSpark is a real double wammy on returns💀
aug 25, 2025, 8:29 pm • 9 0 • view
Right, this has tipped me over the line into pre-ordering, so there’s at least one sale to balance this frankly weird tactic out a bit!
aug 25, 2025, 7:08 pm • 1 0 • view
bless you, my child 😭🙏
aug 25, 2025, 7:51 pm • 2 0 • view
Imagine telling someone how little you value their work like this.
aug 25, 2025, 7:06 pm • 2 0 • view
I'll be honest, most books aren't THAT expensive. Unless your book is that weird exception, they are all dicks. Shit, worst case just lie and say you bought it.
aug 25, 2025, 10:54 pm • 1 0 • view
I would ALMOST rather they steal the book at that point, but at least review it, PLEASE!
aug 25, 2025, 6:19 pm • 5 0 • view
stealing it is at least less convoluted
aug 25, 2025, 6:23 pm • 8 0 • view
We need to get more people on board with asking for books at libraries. We/publishers actually make just the teensiest bit more on the one time sale to a library and once it’s in, anyone can borrow it. No cost to anyone reading (well, taxes, but no IMMEDIATE cost), AND a royalty sale for us!
aug 25, 2025, 6:28 pm • 11 0 • view
what the ever loving hell is wrong with people
aug 25, 2025, 7:02 pm • 5 0 • view
there's a definite overlap with people who tell me "why don't you just get the AI to write your book"
aug 25, 2025, 7:51 pm • 6 0 • view
the response i have to that is "why don't you let the AI fuck your wife and eat all your food" its wild that we're letting robots do all the fun stuff while humans are being sent back to the mines
aug 25, 2025, 7:56 pm • 4 0 • view
I say "Nice personality, did you have an AI generate it for you?"
aug 25, 2025, 8:03 pm • 1 0 • view
Doesn't that cost you money?
aug 25, 2025, 7:31 pm • 1 0 • view
yeah p much
aug 25, 2025, 7:47 pm • 0 0 • view
I remember that from the "Free book hack" thing
aug 25, 2025, 7:49 pm • 1 0 • view
Who the fuck?!
aug 25, 2025, 6:30 pm • 2 0 • view
Tell them to check it out at the library if they don't want to pay money. What assholes.
aug 25, 2025, 7:14 pm • 1 0 • view
..... what in the fuck
aug 25, 2025, 6:41 pm • 1 0 • view
...what the lightly grilled fuck?? I'm sure you have explained that high sales numbers are good because they mean you have acquired money, and not the other way round??? what is going on here
aug 25, 2025, 6:17 pm • 6 0 • view
I can’t believe real people say things sometimes
aug 25, 2025, 6:33 pm • 3 0 • view
Real people say a lot of things.
aug 25, 2025, 6:43 pm • 3 0 • view
Yeah but they should stop
aug 25, 2025, 6:50 pm • 3 0 • view
I swear to god capitalism has fried some people's brain into trying to turn everything into a way to game the system. Sorry you have to deal with people that won't just, support your art with their whole chest out.
aug 26, 2025, 8:07 am • 1 0 • view
what the fuck kinda person says this shit to someone. that's mad disrespectful
aug 25, 2025, 7:08 pm • 1 0 • view
Who the hell thinks a RETURN is good for metrics!?
aug 25, 2025, 6:31 pm • 2 0 • view
I'm sorry, WHAT??? That's fucking bananas, total moon logic.
aug 25, 2025, 6:18 pm • 1 0 • view
It's literally actually worse than doing nothing. Boggling.
aug 25, 2025, 7:21 pm • 1 0 • view
😬
aug 25, 2025, 6:32 pm • 3 0 • view
Wtf
aug 25, 2025, 6:24 pm • 0 0 • view
You may need different friends!?
aug 26, 2025, 6:26 pm • 1 0 • view
im gonna buy your book cause this pissed me off so much
aug 25, 2025, 11:19 pm • 1 0 • view
much obliged 🙏🥰 i think you'll like it!
aug 25, 2025, 11:52 pm • 1 0 • view
holy shit they want to do this with an orbit book and wtf that cover is incredible www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/bitte...
aug 25, 2025, 11:26 pm • 1 0 • view
are you all "well then i'll punch you in the face and then unpunch you so therefore you'll have never been punched but I still get to hit you in your dumb head!!"
aug 25, 2025, 7:05 pm • 2 0 • view
;n; But you need money to eat. Like they should want to buy your book for real and then read it because I imagine that's why you wrote it you wanted people to read the thing!
aug 25, 2025, 7:10 pm • 1 0 • view
jfc that's so shitty like even ignoring the money side of it, it's like a friend saying "I'll go to your gig to bump up the numbers but I'll wear headphones so I don't have to actually listen to you"
aug 25, 2025, 6:29 pm • 17 0 • view
as much as it depresses me how few of my friends engage with any of my art, I'd rather complete non engagement over that shit
aug 25, 2025, 6:29 pm • 10 0 • view
yeah, most friends & relatives generally won't care about your art other than in a "hey, it's nice that you did a thing" sort of way, but the ways that they try to fake enthusiasm don't really hit the way that they think they do XP
aug 25, 2025, 6:31 pm • 12 0 • view
If they wanna support you but are for some reason opposed to having your book they could like... Buy community copies? Or donate the copy to the library or just... Keep it? Go "Hey it isn't my thing but look at this! Someone I care about made a dang book! Isn't that cool?"
aug 25, 2025, 7:26 pm • 3 0 • view
........wow, that's truly terrible. I hope at least a few of them get married soon so you can let them know you're going to RSVP for their wedding and not show up, hooray!
aug 25, 2025, 7:39 pm • 1 0 • view
XD
aug 25, 2025, 7:46 pm • 1 0 • view
Yea, a lot of my irl friends and family also don't read my books. They buy tho. A lot of authors run into this issue 😭😭😭 like can y'all take the time to read something I poured my heart and soul into?
aug 25, 2025, 8:24 pm • 1 0 • view
I’m gonna buy two copies from ya don’t worry (I won’t even return either of them)
aug 25, 2025, 8:40 pm • 1 0 • view
this is the way 🥰
aug 25, 2025, 10:16 pm • 1 0 • view
For that matter I plan to also read it
aug 25, 2025, 8:40 pm • 1 0 • view
Friends? Fiends more like!
aug 25, 2025, 6:18 pm • 2 0 • view
Have these people never watched a single episode of any sitcom ever? Have they never tried to do something "clever" IRL? Every single tricky scheme backfires
aug 25, 2025, 8:02 pm • 2 0 • view
This trick is called the Inverse Library and it is huge amongst the frictionless-brain set!
aug 25, 2025, 6:41 pm • 1 0 • view
"thats how Battlefield Earth and Atlas Shrugged end up on the charts right?" that's not how anything works!
aug 25, 2025, 6:32 pm • 2 0 • view
Why would they even tell you that
aug 25, 2025, 6:52 pm • 1 0 • view
what a weird and backhanded thing for them to say!
aug 25, 2025, 11:07 pm • 1 0 • view
Wait... What?
aug 25, 2025, 7:13 pm • 1 0 • view
aug 25, 2025, 7:56 pm • 1 0 • view
Is that a thing? Jeez.
aug 25, 2025, 6:25 pm • 1 0 • view
You mean people DONT want to have a big collection of their favourite authors' books to look at???
aug 25, 2025, 8:24 pm • 2 0 • view
I'm shocked that any person could think that this is a situation where anyone benefits. But more than one? That's fucking bizarre, and downright insulting
aug 25, 2025, 6:26 pm • 1 0 • view
This is horrendous. I'm so sorry ):
aug 25, 2025, 7:33 pm • 1 0 • view
Basically the same vibe of going to a library, picking a book out, spitting in it, then dropping it back in the box in view of the front desk
aug 25, 2025, 9:23 pm • 1 0 • view
Are people that stupid?
aug 25, 2025, 6:52 pm • 6 0 • view
Hard to exaggerate how much the average person just talks to talk
aug 25, 2025, 6:53 pm • 10 1 • view
This isn’t a norm or thing. This is a dick thing.
aug 26, 2025, 9:05 pm • 1 0 • view
“Normie thing” - bloody autocorrect.
aug 26, 2025, 10:48 pm • 1 0 • view
Hhuhhh????? They can just read the book! What the fuck? If they're THAT scared of what you have to say, saying nothing at all would be better!
aug 25, 2025, 6:21 pm • 1 0 • view
People ... people say that? To your FACE?
aug 25, 2025, 6:28 pm • 2 0 • view
That bad of an author? 😁
aug 25, 2025, 11:28 pm • 0 0 • view
i'm sorry?
aug 25, 2025, 11:54 pm • 0 0 • view
It’s a joke.
aug 26, 2025, 2:14 pm • 0 0 • view
I'm gonna order your book and keep it and read it!! Ha-HA!! That'll show those publishers!! (j/k I already ordered it)
aug 25, 2025, 7:45 pm • 1 0 • view
😘
aug 25, 2025, 7:46 pm • 1 0 • view
sorry your normie associates are like that, that's a shitty thing to say and an even shittier thing to do
aug 25, 2025, 8:36 pm • 1 0 • view
People are offering to buy your books? Where do I magically find people who're willing to get that far?
aug 25, 2025, 7:46 pm • 1 0 • view
why the fuck would you brag about skipping out on paying money to the literal author lol
aug 25, 2025, 6:16 pm • 9 0 • view
Because they apparently think it still benefits the author.
aug 25, 2025, 6:42 pm • 2 0 • view
"I don't like you enough to actually want to read something you wrote if it costs me anything! Aren't I such a good friend?" I hate to say it, but I think you need some new friends.
aug 25, 2025, 6:43 pm • 1 0 • view
what the hell? that's a wild thing to think
aug 25, 2025, 6:27 pm • 0 0 • view