Spent the day driving around Manchester, New Hampshire, a city for 80-something New Yorkers in deep debt apparently. I was driving alone, something I’m known to do. I saw a woman fleeing domestic violence. I “rendered aid,” vaguely. Minutes or maybe an hour later I was walloped by a Mack truck.
I read the police report.
Statement by his “Chief of Security “??
lol lmao
And I saw a unicorn 🦄
Any good deed within 15 minutes of the accident means nobody will care about that underage hooker in the passenger seat.
Giuliani was the passenger in the first car, a Bronco. She ran into him in a honda.
Basically, he picked up a hooker and got rolled by her pimp.
www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med...
Lauren Kemp has a story to tell.
And I bet it's going to be very different from Rudy's!
ooooo, the plot thickens.
Bingo!
Oooh! My first thought was, "insurance fraud." Second was, "husband caught him." Now, it's, "That's Rudy Fucking Giuliani, bitch! You should have charged him triple that!"
Wait... What it was her pimp... who's also her grandfather???
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It was a young lady (whose grieving the loss of her father this month) that was driving
For non-payment, undoubtedly.
Sir, what color was that Bronco
Ok now I’m getting it. I thought this happened on I-93 and I was like how would this happen on an interstate ….
It did, didn’t it?
You know what, he brought us so much joy in 2020, there’s a level on which I have to appreciate Rudy re-entering the conversation to add a little levity
I still break out my Four Seasons Landscaping Zoom background from time to time
What a day
He's a good reminder to us all to live our lives in such a way that breaking your back in an MVA doesn't serve to add a little levity to folks' days.
Rudy’s just comic relief now. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at that though. 🤷🏻♀️
america’s mr. bean
THAT … you know what, I have no argument against it
you know if you just make a couple minor tweaks here and there, this sounds like a wood pile I’ve heard about before
Whoa
Holy shit 😳 🤣🤣🤣
Wow, where did you find that?!
😂 Thanks! I spent too long down this rabbit hole!!! The news reports suggest Petrino cracked a vertebrae in the accident but there was no mention about Ms Dorrell’s condition? He’s still married?!? And she still married her fiancé?!?!? None of my business I suppose. Weird….
This is going to be so much worse for James Acaster.
Has anyone checked on Sasha Baron Cohen’s whereabouts last night? It couldn’t hurt to ask
lol. Me too.
Caught a baseball game somewhere in there
I have been there no one helped me. Thank you for what you did & so sorry for your troubles. Hope you are well.
I hope you're all okay.
time is a flat circle
Manchester? I thought that was across the Atlantic Sea. Did my Anthropic chatbot lead me astray? That would be a shame, because I ... [puts on sunglasses] ... believe in Claude.
Kinda has an Eddie Murphy “good samaritan ” feel.
The truth, when it comes out will be wild.
Rudy, you in Danger girl.
Breathalyzer?
What??
This is what’s killing me, the lack of details and the obvious lie. Spent five years as an EMT in New Hampshire so I’m very curious about the 911 call.
Do a Public Records FOIA request online for the 911 call
Um, it's called Manchvegas and it's streets are rife with drama.
palpable subtext
Rudy I presume? So sorry for your loss
I hope whoever the lady is has a recording of this or at least Rudy butt dialed someone and they heard everything and recorded it.
Listen, his attorney will arrive just as soon as he’s recovered from losing his defamation case and reestablishes his pierogi rights on Martha’s Vineyard
ha ha
www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med...
😂🤣
I can't tell if this is some kind of strange parable or something that literally happened to you.
It’s Rudy Giuliani’s rendition of what happened to him today.
Ah, I haven't really been paying attention to the news this weekend, so obviously I missed something hilarious!
I dunno. That looks like a man.
Ya never know 'till it hits ya 😂
Is this real?
Praying for you Mr Onion
Pimp wanted his money...
www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med...
Why do they only list the woman’s age in the press release? The other driver and Giuliano’s age are not mentioned. She’s an adult, why does it matter?
One of those stories you didn’t have to make up, huh?
Parody?
Whenever I'm fleeing domestic violence by the side of the road in New Hampshire, my inclination is to look to a much older man, preferably 80 who has a cell phone to call 911 & wait until police arrive. I guess if you were there, you'd be acceptable. Be prepared to have an accident.🤷♀️ Shit happens.
well you had me in the first half. this floored me til i read the comments. now I am salivating to see what crime Rudy has gotten away this time. News me up, boyos!
oh now I'm sad. what a piece of shit
I can't even blame Manchvegas for this. This is all him, whatever the hell this actually even was.
He dumped off a woman he paid for services, then sped onto a highway while driving drunk.
Zero chance he stopped to help anyone. At all. Drunk hallucinations are wild
What time did it happen? Just after 10 past 9:00 maybe?
hat tip to the women who let us know they are fleeing domestic violence by lighting up the big blinking neon THIS PERSON IS FLEEING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE indicator
Look, I apologized for the truck thing
Honestly, though, that was the first thing I thought, the “rendering aid” part has LITERALLY NOTHING to do with the car accident part
Shaken up victim: Thankfully just then an 81 year old pervert happened to be passing by,
🤣
Gets even funnier when you find out he was northbound and the incident happened in the southbound lane. Incredible thing to lie about
Ah!!! He got on the wrong way!?!? 😆 Which highway was it? I've been imagining him trying to merge on the fun of 293-93 in the middle of, well, NH and MA traffic lmao. No wonder he got hit at a "high rate of speed" 🤦🏻♀️
OMG IT WAS 93 🤣 I feel bad for the 19 yo :/
I’d be over the moon if I were the one to kill Rudy
*although obvi they'd have to go after her insurance co not her, she wouldn't have anything to sue for. But it would suck for points on her license and costs etc. :/
Yeah but she didn't and now they'll probably sue her even though I feel like they're dancing around the fact they might have all seen the bronco cut her off. Hopefully this is accurate!
Considering he was the only one injured he was definitely not wearing his seatbelt and I hope he dies
I do love a post full of hope
"My sexual assault sense is tingling and I don't see any women under me. Something must be wrong!"
"Hey told me to 'reach out and grab this' and then dropped his pants???"
This is absolutely outrageous and unfair. We only know for a fact that he does that when he thinks the woman is a teenager.
Sometimes there is more to the story... www.seattletimes.com/nation-world...
Totally tracks.
I read this as I might read a Herman Melville novel
Yes, the story has been reported by a dozen news outlets and no one connects any dots the same way. No one has reported whether Rudy was drunk, or identified the DV victim who hailed his passing car, if they exist. The 911 officers responding to the DV call were not interviewed, if they exist.
Chappaquiddick was sketchy also
But the truth came out. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chappaq...
So Rudy was hailed by a DV victim while he drove in the southbound lane and after "rendering aid" resumed his travel in the northbound lane? hmmmm
Yeah, the domestic violence victim the police were already interviewing on the opposite side of the highway when the crash occurred, according to NHSP. Gosh, who should we believe? www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med...
But I was also at a Fisher cats game! I’m multitalented.
That’s a state that doesn’t require car insurance right? Hope you’re ok.
"And I definitely wasn't drinking and I'm sure I had my pants on the entire time...."
The life of a hero, I guess.
An. Holy hell.
A all too familiar story.
If this highly implausible thing actually did happen, in any universe, it would be in Manchester, NH.
ManchVegas is a pit.
Wait, this is the remake / sequel to Hedwig and the Angry Inch?
I totally buy this.
BUMMER!!!
Yet still you post. Thank you, sir, for your dedication to us all.
No shit! The BS oozes off the page when you read about Rudy's accident.
💔
No good deed...
Lol.
One wonders if the woman was being comforted by him in the backseat near a truck stop
The minute I heard this crapola, I wondered what the real story was.
Whole story is sus.
The traditional ManchVegas experience
“80-something New Yorkers in deep debt” Oh…. When is he moving to Myrtle Beach?
What??!
😂😂😂
🤷🏼♀️ why make a big deal, happens to me all the time
Did you remember 9/11?
this scenario is not as uncommon as you think
Rudy fiction!
Nothing to see here! Please don’t ask me any other questions or for any further details.
Or verification
Rudy Giuliani DV and DUI? bsky.app/profile/love...
This illustrates how cray-cray he is.
Makes perfect sense
my city is in the news and i don't like it
Post hoc ergo propter hoc! Not that I'd put much past either Ghouliani or New Hampshire.
Did you immediately drive to Four Seasons Landscaping to recover?
Are you really going to pretend giving someone a sip of the Dewar's White Label pint bottle you were drinking isn't "rendering aid"?
Checking the news for the first time today and having zero idea what this meant was amazing
ditto. especially since i used to live in manchester, n.h. and was like "yeah, that tracks"
It beats me why he didn't die of embarrassment over the Four Seasons' press conference.
Wait, how do I know this statement is authorized by you? How goddammit!
ManchVega$
It's very much a story George Costanza would have made up as an excuse as to why he was late to work.
The head of your security, which you can somehow still afford, must be DEVESTATED
Wow. Lot of that happening this weekend. What are the odds?
The only reason Rudy called the authorities was so he could verbalize "9-11" once more, as he dialed. After doing so, as with the rest of his life, it was just another disaster. Thankfully, his family... oops, business partner... was there by his side.
this would be my 9/11
Fingers crossed for Borat 3
Seems reasonable. Was it a four seasons landscaping truck? I hear they're vindictive little pricks.
Tim Onion driving around New Hampshire? Folks, he's running.
....was the woman Melania??
Thoughts and prayers.
Funny thing is that his spokesperson gave a totally different account than the actual police report.
Shame on news media for not verifying or fact finding. This isn’t difficult.
Two seconds of Googling tells me that Giuliani was in a car with Ted Goodman, a much younger socially ambitious GOP operative. They were hit by a 19 year old girl who tragically lost her father earlier this year. Why? And do we really care? Or need to care?
This is weird how is Rudy helping a DV victim but is on the other side of the road in his car ??? One car is northbound and the other is southbound ..l think Rudy and his team were looky-loos and the 19-year-old was too and slammed into the back of Rudy's car..that makes more sense.
That's only explanation that makes any sense.
I knew it. Nothing Giuliani or anyone he knows,says, should be taken seriously.
It’s a fake story to coverup his drunk driving - again
Desperately trying to be a distraction on DJT’s behalf…
Run for Mayor. Avoid Borat.
Oh.... www.nytimes.com/2025/08/31/u...
Interesting. One of my favorite – if not my actual favorite – story from college is about driving to (though not 'through'), & then arriving in, Manchester, NH, rather late at night. It has similarly sinister overtones even though it occurred 18 years ago/11 months before Obama was elected....
Read: He was drunk, and was trying to get ahead of it by making it look like he was a knight in shining armor.
Ey, I'm asistin a lady sufferin' dawmestic violence 'ere
Oh how awful. I hope you had your pants on. 👖
He safely brought the woman to Women’s Shelter Total Landscaping
Yeow! As a lawyer friend of mine would say, "See?! No good deed goes unpunished!"
WTF was Guiliani doing in Manchester, the armpit of NH?
Mistress
I was thinking something a little more, umm, transactional.
Newly arrived NH resident here. I’m pretty sure there are worse pockets than Manchester!
They’ll never admit it 😂.
Lived in the Merrimack Valley of MA and Southern NH my whole life. I can't think of any!
West / north of Manchester. I’m judging by trump signs
Those antifa riots in NH are out of control. I heard the drum circles are just deafening. 😣
Just logged onto Bluesky And no context to this post … I immediately assumed Guliana was involved.
I can’t think of anything scarier as a woman than flagging down a car and a member of the Trump team coming out of it.
This is a Colludy Rudy subtweet, isn't it.
How the fuck is this whack job allowed to drive by himself? I'm sure the MSM is all over this to interview the victim. And the first responders, and the police, and the truck driver. LOL...Just kidding. The story goes out there unchallenged.
He was not the driver. The article says he was the passenger.
Thanks. My fault for reading his security team's account. Made it sound like he was driving and rescued an assault victim. I should know better.
mind you.... ....a "domestic violence fighting" superhero riding shotgun is NOT the narrative you want to push Batman don't ride shotgun
Definitely NOT a superhero.
Karma…
Maybe lying on the bed with the zipper down was too much to see
Clearly you’ve absorbed the lessons of the seminal National Lampoon primer How To Write Good by Michael O’Donoghue.
The driver of the Mack truck vanished into thin air
Bet things got crazy at Four Seasons Total Urgent Care
The Daily Caller making an appearance 🙄
My ONLY official statement
A twofer! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
Super-common and totally normal.
Manchesters a shithole. Why tf is he even there?!
Is the only statement authorized by you?
'How was your day...I was not on a bender!'
New Hampshire police have released dashcam footage of the accident
I hope you are alright
That’s uh, quite a story.
You should do a press conference in front of a landscaping place that shares its name with a hotel.
"By-the-Hour Lawncare."
With dripping hair dye.
He's had so many great moments. The hair dye is up there. Borat, of course. The Michigan voter fraud hearing where he kept farting on live TV. He's in a league by himself.
The flatulence of a true public servant
I don’t buy that he was helping anyone before the accident, let alone a woman…
yep - he did something and ran off and they hunted him down.
Giving Jay Leno “I fell down a hill a lot” vibes…
Yeah, whatever happened (which isn’t what his spokesperson said) will come out eventually.
Police posted a report. He wasn't helping the DV victim. He was hit by a car while the police were assisting a DV victim on the other side of the median.
Saw this before seeing the story - was so intrigued
The knight in dark armor.
The details are, let’s say, still hazy
Yawn, we're long past stupid cover-ups. The dude was probably drunk. BTW, how can he afford spokesmen and a security detail? Isn't he supposed to be broke after fulfilling the Ruby Freeman judgement?
Oh, those are the words that yada yada yada fills in for. Yada yada yada I spent the night locked in a scrap metal yard, got 3 hrs of deep sleep according to my wearable sleep tracker. So rested.
That’s cool but what them Epstein be like
Yeah, I heard about it on my CB radio. Good Buddy is sorry, but schedules, you know...
Keep it in your pants buddy
Hope you are okay
youtu.be/FafVtHWn4X8?...
All he had to say was that he was rear-ended and was in the hospital. Extraneous details and storytelling when it's not expected or appropriate is like, lying red flag 101.
LOL the writing in blue..his handlers must have shown up at the hospital PISSED OFF there were possibly altercations with the staff
Her husband. I would BET on it.
lol
Something just does not square here
First time?
Ok so maybe it's a "hit" that failed? Lured to stop, kept in place while phase 2, "terrible car accident," is set in motion? Is he on the verge of spilling the beans about something? How long before Plan B ultimately takes him out? (Thinking of Virginia Guiffre - car accident followed by "suicide.")
I'm thinking the same. When Trump dies, Guiliani can do a "tell all" and they need to take him out. As you recall Guiliani saying he has a "very, very good insurance policy."
Pretty sure he was the one who had access to or knew about the contents of that safe containing the national enquirer’s goods i.e catch and kill stories over the years
I mean, it's not like Manch-Vegas is known for . . . Anything, really? What the hell was he doing there? This is BEYOND fishy. Anyone know a cop there?
Thoughts and prayers
Is liquor unusually cheap in New Hampshire? Why would you even ask me that?
Lmao the way I snort-laughed With unusually convenient highway access!? Pffttt what a strange question
*not The Onion (it's Sunday, the writers have the day off)
Ben Collins doesn’t publish The Onion any more?
True, true. In shame, I change the subject. bsky.app/profile/osul...
Don't forget what he did here👆🏾 The man is a PERVERT
Reenactment of harassment lawsuit
KARMA: no good deed goes unpunished
😂😂😂 hey did you happen to be with the ghoul
Giuliani was rear ended by a 19 year old women at high speed. Sex and lack of payment?
For all we know, maybe she didn't want payment. Maybe she has a grandpa thing and was willing to rear end Giuliani for free?
Maybe she is in to necrophilia
The love that dares not, and for half its practitioners cannot, speak its name.
I lol'ed
Ah yes, The Ol' Manchester Mack-a-doodle
omg you too
🤣🤣🤣 The police report is a better source
That Mack truck driver isn’t getting paid by their handler…I mean employer. Yeah that’s it.
Rudy:
Seems plausible. Take it easy and heal soon.
Rudy had a big day ok! He couldn't lead with everything in the recap
lol
He told EMTs he pulled over for a "Black Eyed Susan" and they assumed he was referring to an abuse victim and not the cocktail. They only figured it out when they asked if anyone should be notified and he requested a "Bloody Mary."
I’m so sorry!!
Makes more sense when you put it that way. 😂😂😂
Okay i know now. 2 mins on bluesky
Someone tell me what we are making fun of. I went for a walk today.
bsky.app/profile/phil...
Here’s an update bsky.app/profile/hele...
There’s gotta be dashcam or doorbell video somewhere.
Maybe not on a highway. 🤷🏽♀️
Ford Bronco. Figures.
No good deed goes unpunished. So they say.🥴
Ben it's even weirder in the police version
Because of the reggae beat?
You and Rudy are true American heros.
That’s quite a day you had there!
You seem confused
Rudy mistook distraction for destruction.
And I deserved it
time flies when you black out
I used to work in Manchester, as a transplant from Florida. The rest of my coworkers called in Manchghanistan and I quickly adopted it.
At some point, magats will say, "It's her fault. If she hadn't delayed Rudy with her little problem, he wouldn't have been hit." [==*==]
Absolutely nothing suspicious or sketchy about this story.
The state police press release is more realistic? www.nhsp.dos.nh.gov/news-and-med...
Aha. Giuliani asked why help arrived so fast and learned of the domestic violence investigation and made up his own drunken version.
So the young woman (19) he was assisting ran into Giuliani and Goodman? Why would she ram him if he was assisting her? Hmmm
Why does it always have to be a “Ford Bronco”
So a collision with a car driven by a 19-yr-old, shortly after a 14 or 15 yr old messed up that DOGE creep so badly that DJT invaded DC. Are teenage girls going to save us?
Wait, this was on the interstate? And the domestic call was on one side of the highway, and Giuliani's car (driven by someone from Michigan?) was on the other side?
"All aspects of the crash remain under investigation." Yeah, I bet!
While I may have had one, maybe two drinks, that was hours ago, well before noon. Unfortunately, the lump on my head is surrounded by little tweeting birds, so I don't remember any drinks after that.
A Guiluani mystery. What a strange story that took almost a day to hit the news.
Is this Rudy?
Yeah.
Did you get your pants back on?
In my '03 Sedan Deville with leaky air suspension.
Why was he in a ford bronco and was it white
This is a much better story, Mr. Giuliani, than that first one about looking at the foliage. I'd go with it.
But how is your hair dye?
So wait this now sounds like a bullshit story, was he drunk.
Is he ever not drunk?
Sounded like bullshit the minute it was released! Rudy? Random young woman? Roadside assistance? Middle of the night? 😆🤣😅🤣
Yeah, just me being obtuse.
😳
I was driving a Ford Bronco, as one does when they’re running from something bad.
And -- you know the truck was driven by [redacted] of [redacted], riiiight? Oh, yeah. Sure. Rudee knew TOO MUCH. He thought squealing might bring the spotlight back to him. The Leader saw him as a threat. Connect your own dots - this is generally made-up stuff, sort of.
Bam.
As my sister-in-law would say, no good deed goes unpunished. 😀 Sorry to hear this happened. Adrenalin rush!
