Anyway, my friends at Bluesky proper should start marketing this place with these kinds of quotes. It makes this website seem like the fucking Thunderdome when in reality it's a place where I post pictures of Viscous Brown Food-Like Substance On A Plate solely to unnerve people.
I never would’ve had the courage to apply to the Onion if you guys hadn’t been such a great presence here on bluesky, thanks!
Still can’t get over a chop suey sandwich…
You're... you're not *normal*, son! That plate of slop was as close to normal as you'll ever get!
Brownplateism
Like "Come taste the worst ice cream BigBallz2004 ever tried", except for BigBallz2004 being an actually famous person
That’s my favorite dish.
Man, I’ve been saying this for months. I want Rose/Jay to charge me money for using this app, and use that money to advertise the benefits of Bluesky vs other social media apps (especially Twitter & Meta).
The friends I’ve convinced to make accounts had no idea Bluesky was even a thing, and they now use the app every day. I imagine people don’t realize this place isn’t a hellscape of ads, slop, and nazis.
I got suspended from Twitter on election day and was invited to appeal the decision. I opened an account here instead and I've never looked back.
Uh subscribe to The Onion, by the way. For like one more week you also get a tote bag. membership.theonion.com
I don't understand Nate Silver's argument. I mean, the Obama coalition was built on a mild form of economic progressive-ism and a far stronger form of social progressive-ism, and those majorities were, at one time, thought to be enduring for Democrats. He thinks that's *all* fallen apart?
That's back when people still lived partially offline. We had a president who still used a Blackberry
I did not do this *just* for The Bag That Totes, but still.
I need that tote! So sorry, New Yorker. You lose.
Does it come in a discreet brown paper wrapper, like Penthouse magazine in the late 1970s?
We all should.
I get home delivery! :)
but is the bag made from real onions?
What's up with InfoWars? Are you able to buy it?
Subscribed
How many onions does it hold?
At least 10, I would assume
Is this your EU subsidiary bsky.app/profile/thet...
I am so confused
I've been thinking about that tote bag. This was the post that put my tote bag buying impulse over the top.
What in the name of all that is holy is blueskyism? I get it that I am old and unhip but what the hell is he on about?
Terminal Twitter users being pissed they have to work to get people to pay attention to them.
I prefer my satire papers to also ward off vampires. -1
The siren call of a tote bag has claimed another victim. Me.
Legit just subscribed from Switzerland. Am over the moon that there’s a paper edition again
Just got my second paper, and I'm waiting to read it for my trip in 2 weeks so I can finish and leave it on the plane for someone else. Everyone will want to read what I'm reading since it always makes me laugh out loud.
Can current subscribers cash in on this tote bag deal? I want to impress my neighbors.
you could fit so many drugs in that
I love getting my monthly paper!!
The Viscous Brown Food-Like Substance is pretty unnerving, but the tote bag is the bomb. And a "real" paper, on newsprint and everything, too.
LOL to the dumbasses who subscribe to this offer! I got my The Onion subscription WITHOUT the stupid tote bag.
I'll bet you paid more for it AND didn't get the tote bag, which you could have given to your grandmother for Christmas, you cheapskate
Joke's on you, my grandma's been dead for fifty years! (My parents are also very dead.) My kids can get their own damn tote bags because I raised them right.
I'm tellin' ya, dude, you're a miser! 😉
You can always give it away. There’d never enough tote bags for groceries or whatnot. We have various New Yorker bags. I mean, go at it I guess.
Hell yeah, been down since day one?
What if I want a tote bag
Rock On!
Same, I like a good bio-degradable tote bag for guilt free parcel fribbling.
I can't help it if people want to suck.
What's your beef with the tote-bag?
clearly it’s jealousy
It smells like Onions and doesn't wash out.
You gotta watch the onion tote bag debate on YouTube to really understand.
What??
bsky.app/profile/theo...
Oh god one of those jokes
Went looking for the tote bag video on YouTube and found this from the awesome Miriam Margolyes… Enjoy folks youtu.be/vy_v2BSst2M?...
🤣🤣🤣🤣
She is everyone’s Nanna.. Best bits (for me anyway).. “these are my knickers.. clean of course!!!” And.. “I love a strong gusset!!!”…
Yes! Ha ha ha! Yes! (Seriously though, how can I get one...?)
The tote bag is optional - so there 😛
Joke's on you--the tote bag comes filled with assorted leftover prescription bottles and bath salts.
Right??? I get sent the damned things by everyone.
Me too. And my version never needs batteries. Its charge lasts all month.
THE [scribble] ION You people have more money than sense.
I don't really want it on paper but I kind of want a tote bag to go with my npr one and new Yorker one.
Electorally speaking, when was the last time Nate was right about anything? He is a one hit wonder.
Edgelord 😎
Nate’s a wee bawbag
As a Brit , please tell me me more about this delicious meal you’re taking photos of .😃😃😃
I really appreciate and respect the reasoning behind this but at the same time I feel sharing X slop is just giving the app more undue exposure but again, I see the reasoning
Native Chicaoan, so I wasn't un-nerved, but my first thought was, "Maybe St. Louis invented that, but Cincinnati's gotta have a take on it."
Yeah. I see some people here getting wild, but more of them being level-headed. I had someone ranting the Obama Hate at me -- seems he didn't like Obama trying to deal with the GOP. I replied: "Get a life." He didn't like that. I blocked him.
You really should have added a tiny sprig of parsley as your daily greens.
I'm unnerved just reading that
Honestly man, you’re just convincing me that I need to eat one of these Chop Suey sandwiches
If you want, I have an in with a media company that could do this. Bryce P. Tetraeder and I went to the very legitimate Bishop Sycamore High School together. We were even named the Time Person of the Year together in 2006, so obviously we're still close
Yes, I was unnerved...
two pundits enter, one pundit leaves
Sad balding gambling addicts tend to hate spaces of joy…
I like the pictures of animals 😎
This is the Alf Dick website
And we thank you for it. I think.
It’s wholly un-servable.
Even Lord Humungus feels like he’s screaming into the void sometimes
🤣
It's like thunderdome, but as in the aussie version of gladiators with the big foam sticks, and the stands are full of muppets
While I enjoy pics of viscous brown food-like substance, would like to share pic of 'meatball sub homemade' Also, how can Kat keep you in the same room after those beans?
That looks pretty good.
PS thank you
It was!
Wet food slop is the true Blueskyism we should be threatened about. In this essay I'll-
We have not forgotten "the sandwich", Tim! 🧐
Funny that Nate Silver sees himself as normal. 😂
He plays Poker, so YEAH!
It was disturbing.
Wait I want to see the food like substance
You know that needed cheese.
It did. It certainly did.
And some chopped onions. Cheese & onions MIGHT have made it look tastier. Emphasis on 'look'.
if for only the reason to slow what I'm guessing was high-speed digestion.
Thought it had been cheese…
theres brown caramel cheese. two birds one cup
It needed a freaking scoop of ice cream.
I support this take. A drizzle of Wiz and a couple of hot links too. Anything worth doing and whatnot…
Do not invoke the sandwich
I could not care any iota less about how important Bsky is to non-bsky users. I just like this form of communication. But on Xitter I would have died a slow and painful inner death. So I‘m just thankful for this space.
Nate Silver is the fuckwit of fuckwits.
Mr Onion plz. Stop the tyranny of that sandwich
“Viscous Brown Food-Like Substance On A Plate” Caramelized onion perhaps?
I'm wouldn't pay for Bluesky but I would happily carry a Blueskyism tote bag around. I only leave the house once or twice a week but I'd carry it then.
I just ate, Ben.
Yeah. And that was literally what he was shitposting last night, the night before? Slop, it was called. Hashbrowns, eggs, burgers...
A Pre-Shitpost if you will.
PROPHETIC SHITPOSTING! Yasss, @bencollins.bsky.social Prophet of the Shitposting Blueskyisms
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Being sent to Thunderdome is the least penalty you should endure for sharing instant diarrhea on a plate with the rest of us.
Bluesky is a huge projection of fascism. Banning whoever doesn't think like them.
For real, my feed is nature photos and the occasional culinary abomination.
No one under 70 has even seen such a thing!😂
Ruffled Endive!
"Hawaiian Cold Mold" (It's "Hawaiian" because of the 🍍)
Nah, no self respecting Hawaiian would make much less eat that abomination. 😂
Correct! Our Nana only "called" it "Hawaiian" 😋
you mean, you’ve actually eaten one of those things? (no offense to nana)
😋😋🍽
🤣🤣 Ill never tell...
😉
No but our Nana made a mean one at Easter
This is somehow worse than the "sandwich" @bencollins.bsky.social is talking about. 🤢 You win the Internet this afternoon, congrats. 😁
Oh no, Dan, wait, too much pressure...
🤢
Appetizing! Like Nana made for Easter!
ewwwwwww
Needs dollops of mayonnaise
Miracle Whip
Of course!
Personally I'm an anarcho-blueskyist
I’m very happy here and i really don’t understand why others don’t have a good time here (yes i do hehe)
You mean your slop-trolling ?? Hahahaha - yes, that was very funny !! I love how the reaction of most counter-posters was somewhere between utter fascination and sheer horror !!!
The man exists sole to whine
Soley* obviously
Delicious junket.
This is the last stop for me. I left X in late '22. Right after Musk bought it, my Jewish clients got harassed and left the platform. Feel vindicated seeing what it turned into. Left Zuck after he bent the knee to the fash. Given the sexy chatbots for kids and AI slop taking over, that seems right.
SlingerSky.
