'Love Story', right? I'm that fucking old. Didn't think you were, bud

Let's see, who can deliver his eulogy? E. Jean Carroll? Katie Johnson? Any of a number of Jane Does?

Got to be Vanky. Eric can't read, Junior will be utterly janked, and the other two couldn't be arsed.

Somebody at NYTimes & many/most publications already have obits. on simmer just waiting for said person to croak. Imagine the brawl to do his. btw: look up H.L. Mencken's infamous obit. of William Jennings Bryan. Here's part: www.tumblr.com/brianjohnspe...

All celeb obits, from reality stars to presidents, are done in advance, on file, with gaps for the dates. I had a politics lecturer who was an E Germany specialist & did many broadsheet obits for Erick Hoenecker. Every few years they asked him to add another paragraph, he said they were his pension.

D'oh! French radio station publishes obituaries of people still alive after 'major bug' | Euronews share.google/dImpTxgStC8A...

Forget a eulogy, let’s turn it into a roast! What’s left to say about Trump the Epstein papers didn’t? He’s a bloated ego in a cheap suit, with hair like a botched taxidermy job. Bankrupted businesses, morals, and dignity, he’s loyal only to his mirror - and even that’s beginning to crack!

🤭

'And you should see the other guy who's roasting him right now...'