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Matt Qualls

@quallsmatt.bsky.social

This is my alter ego in the Normalverse.

created November 20, 2023

198 followers 452 following 149 posts

view profile on Bluesky

Posts

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

It's not like it's new technology.

31/8/2025, 1:04:17 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

It always makes me wonder why they don't use picture in picture. This applies to Premier League matches, also.

31/8/2025, 12:58:30 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Perhaps when Trump sends the National Guard to New York, they can take care of the pitch.

31/8/2025, 12:31:03 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Hero Hero

27/8/2025, 8:55:55 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

My wife had lunch with her retired librarian friends. Would they be an old cardigan or a comfortable cardigan?

21/8/2025, 5:35:42 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Gifting you the mini Jesus would have been a straight act of love. Conditions, conditions, we save those for Cincy supporters.

12/8/2025, 7:34:41 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Offer valid to those already in the club.

12/8/2025, 6:36:28 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Dinosaurs, we'll get to see dinosaurs.

12/8/2025, 6:35:03 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Done

12/8/2025, 11:58:29 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I see the away jersey has a 20% price drop to $80.

9/8/2025, 2:36:07 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

There's always this tee for $35...

image
9/8/2025, 2:28:10 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social)

Was our last 3 goals pens? #Crew96

29/7/2025, 11:34:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Thank you, Simon!

29/7/2025, 5:32:55 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Rocket J. Squirrel: Hey Bullwinkle, how do you know that it's #Crew96 game day? Bullwinkle: Because my game day bunion is acting up.

29/7/2025, 3:35:39 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

The pitch looks horrible in places. It looked like his pass hit a divot.

27/7/2025, 1:07:50 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

All the way to the "coming up next".

23/7/2025, 7:23:52 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

And at his beloved Villa Park in Birmingham, England. RIP UTV

22/7/2025, 6:21:22 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

It has the same vibes of the Cyber Truck design.

18/7/2025, 12:00:53 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I checked the wedding registry and National Lampoon is still available.

11/7/2025, 11:44:48 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

bsky.app/profile/iken...

2/7/2025, 5:38:10 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I switched to the USA vs CRC match.

30/6/2025, 12:06:51 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Bone spurs.

26/6/2025, 8:01:43 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

My go to was Diet Rite, but that is no longer made since Zero Sugar. Diet Rite had no caffeine and used sucralose for a sweetener. I'm looking for a replacement in Ohio. In Florida, I can find Publix Caffeine Free Diet Cola.

23/6/2025, 4:58:48 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Do they have to pay tariffs if they import bombs on us?

22/6/2025, 12:48:25 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Make friends with billionaires.

21/6/2025, 4:11:24 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

There's some place in Disney World where my wife has a crow nemesis.

19/6/2025, 5:33:44 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

And crows remember.

19/6/2025, 5:29:31 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

The Louisville match should be great. A smaller stadium along with smaller ticket prices. Nashville (except for the Supporter Section) is outrageously priced.

18/6/2025, 2:26:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Brings Glad Bags to a buffet.

17/6/2025, 1:46:13 PM | 9 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I got the one without the sponsors because it was 50% off ($50) at an Adidas Outlet in Florida. I also bought the third kit jersey.

15/6/2025, 11:31:51 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Where's his blazer?

6/6/2025, 5:08:27 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Did we ever get Reagan's Star Wars?

28/5/2025, 7:49:53 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

For years I've felt the USMNT played like privileged prep schools boys, while the USWNT played with passion.

28/5/2025, 3:25:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

WordPerfect

27/5/2025, 3:50:16 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

What does one call a group of hipsters?

25/5/2025, 2:42:08 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Doesn't this need to be on a milk carton?

24/5/2025, 3:34:58 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

My thoughts exactly.

22/5/2025, 10:13:42 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I don't think we have any matches during that time. We're off after the 5/31 and not back until 6/14.

22/5/2025, 8:21:57 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

What the frack?

10/5/2025, 1:52:15 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social)

#AVFC PSA: The Adidas Outlet by Walt Disney World has the home and third jerseys on sale 50% off ($50). The jerseys do NOT have the sponsors on them.

10/5/2025, 1:42:05 PM | 2 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Radical Graffiti (@radicalgraffiti.bsky.social) reposted

"You are not a tech bro, you are a modern day factory worker" Seen in Oakland, California

image
9/5/2025, 12:54:19 AM | 1942 526 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

It's your round, Malort.

8/5/2025, 9:14:25 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Deep dish or Tavern?

8/5/2025, 5:31:14 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Nice goal, but we'll see in the second half. Up the Villa!

26/4/2025, 5:06:54 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I hope there's plenty of scooter parking!

23/4/2025, 6:51:59 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Up the Villa!

22/4/2025, 9:35:28 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Will he bite anyone today?

19/4/2025, 9:24:20 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Buy American? Why is he outsourcing prisons to El Salvador?

17/4/2025, 4:34:27 PM | 14 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

It's the West of the Mississippi Effect. Radio stations begin with K and Hellman's is Best Foods. Confusing.

13/4/2025, 11:53:26 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

There's a place here called Sean Ryan Pub. I'll check to see if they show MLS matches. There's a bunch of Prem flags & Orlando flag. I support Aston Villa, but they don't have that flag. They don't open until 11:30 am, which is well into the 2nd half of a match. I kinda think they might be posers.

13/4/2025, 2:38:23 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Vero Beach

13/4/2025, 2:13:15 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social)

Just scored tickets for @franzferdinandhq.bsky.social at the House of Blues Orlando in September.

11/4/2025, 7:20:50 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I just got mine in my email. Well done! I have also found out that I have access to The Columbus Dispatch from my digital access to my Florida paper.

11/4/2025, 2:26:59 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Gives me goosebumps.

2/4/2025, 8:48:04 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Your first hit of heroin is free.

30/3/2025, 12:44:06 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Thank you for your sacrifice.

28/3/2025, 6:38:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I'm a no on FB.

27/3/2025, 2:26:52 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

What's the winning lottery numbers?

12/3/2025, 1:25:20 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Why can't they at least show the ongoing game as a picture in picture?

8/3/2025, 8:57:08 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Bob gives me goosebumps. Go with Bob. #GoodLuckCharm #Flordecke #Crew96

26/2/2025, 9:22:54 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

It must be a goosebumps themed yellow card.

23/2/2025, 1:26:54 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

More Welfare for the Rich

6/2/2025, 8:12:10 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

"What the market will bear"

2/2/2025, 4:25:25 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Is this a Russian dealership?

26/1/2025, 7:16:26 PM | 2 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

It's time for Sgt Fury and his Howling Commandos to start beating some Nazi asses.

22/1/2025, 9:52:00 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Is this the difference between a leader and a boss?

21/1/2025, 6:56:37 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I believe if you followed President Biden, it automatically changed to President Trump. Government accounts.

21/1/2025, 1:46:49 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

To paraphrase a @pronounced-ing.bsky.social book title, Little Galaxies Everywhere.

18/1/2025, 4:58:09 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

No-One Driving Miles Away Touch And Go (I remember this being played on Ultravox's US tour.)

18/1/2025, 1:37:04 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

The government will file for bankruptcy once in office, so he won't have to pay you.

17/1/2025, 3:52:11 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

"You can't handle the truth!"

14/1/2025, 3:22:51 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Reported, also.

14/1/2025, 3:38:13 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

youtu.be/0T-JdlxJnyo?...

13/1/2025, 12:19:56 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

He's got that whole Hitler annexing Poland vibe going. Today Canada, tomorow...

8/1/2025, 5:39:09 PM | 13 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Apple TV's schedule. MLS sold their soul...

4/1/2025, 4:46:35 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I'm sure he's not leaving any massage parlors in Palm Beach untouched, too.

1/1/2025, 1:01:45 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I'm usually wearing a Crew or Aston Villa jersey when I'm in the parks. Sometimes a Cleveland SC one.

29/12/2024, 3:21:32 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Stop your fooling around...

21/12/2024, 11:33:23 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I thought DC reporters would be Lois Lane, Jimmy Olson, and Clark Kent.

14/12/2024, 9:55:43 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

That's cool, as long as you don't suffer from imposter syndrome.

8/12/2024, 2:10:41 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I live in Geauga. I'm away but checked my camera this morning. We only have maybe 3 inches. We won't get dumped on until the lake freezes.

4/12/2024, 1:16:47 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social)

This feels like Sunday the second day in a row.

30/11/2024, 3:06:12 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social)

Damn, I have cat hair clogging my sink.

A gray and black tabby sitting in a sink.
18/11/2024, 3:15:01 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social)

@pacox.bsky.social

15/11/2024, 7:17:05 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

@unamccormack.bsky.social and @davidmack.bsky.social may have some ideas...

11/11/2024, 12:06:45 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

if you see this, post a concert photo you took

image
10/11/2024, 11:26:56 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Hence the cookie dough?

7/11/2024, 5:31:05 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social)

Happy Election Day! May the best woman win!

5/11/2024, 12:29:46 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

is that a Bobba Fett wrap?

30/10/2024, 5:14:45 PM | 3 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Towing companies rely on contracts or agreements with the county sheriff and municipality police agencies. If you call or email, contact those agencies.

28/10/2024, 10:45:15 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Was it Freud who called it penis envy?

20/10/2024, 2:39:34 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Welcome aboard, Admiral!

20/10/2024, 1:37:00 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Is that what a crucial swing state is?

20/10/2024, 1:11:39 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

The locker room talk has left the Access Hollywood's bus and is now an internal part of the campaign.

19/10/2024, 11:44:49 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Their new album is great, too!

19/10/2024, 4:07:36 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

I binged read the books.

15/10/2024, 4:25:31 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Ultravox - Ha! Ha! Ha! The Stranglers - No More Heros

10/10/2024, 1:48:28 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

Bien sûr!

7/10/2024, 10:39:02 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

They should be sent back to Europe where they belong!

7/10/2024, 5:36:49 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Matt Qualls (@quallsmatt.bsky.social) reply parent

USA

7/10/2024, 2:46:11 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view