🇬🇧 British / 🏴 English / ⛰️ Cumbrian 📍 Whitehaven 🏉 Whitehaven RLFC ⚽️ Bolton Wanderers FC ⚾️ SF Giants 🏀 GS Warriors ♂️ He/Himbo
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Forrins? In Spain?? They better speak English, or at least Spanglish, or else I won’t be sticking around for more than two weeks. 😤
I’m going on holiday in a few days. If I tell someone that the flag offends me will they help me pack?
No, no, no, no, no. As one of the few people still watching movies at the cinema, I will absolutely not go if I’ve got to hear and smell people pissing and sharting throughout the film!! Disgustang! 🤢
What kind of waterway would they have in store for that movie?
Don’t forget Knightboat, the crime solving boat!
Krumpju
Garlic bread CRISPS??
Ahem!
Wordle 1,535 1/6* 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Going to need a new starter word.
Petition the Met office to include Storm Midge one year.
Eddie, Lilith and Marty!
Ironic that the screenshot I got of him was while the subtitle “reliable” was on screen, considering that he wasn’t.
Crazy how this guy has started appearing on my FB timeline with an iPad, after spreading lies about immigrants being given iPads. 🤔
“Abdul free”? Straight up now tell me you’re a bellend, Doug.
Well it’ll be the creamy middle of the table for us if we can’t get any goal scorers!
I did! Then I went to Bolton and watched us draw 1-1 against Lincoln. Oh well.
I know I’m a bit late to this but I’ve just been to see The Bad Guy 2 and honestly, I really enjoyed it! Probably the second best film I’ve seen at the cinema so far this year, after Sinners. (Other films I’ve seen: Thunderbolts, Superman, Fantastic Four, The Naked Gun and Mission Impossible TFR)
It’s the 31st of August and Billie Joe Armstrong is preparing for his month long hibernation.
🌭 When the Daily Mail reports on racism: 🌭
Ha ha!
In a pub playing a 90s playlist. I can’t remember the last time I last heard Jump by Kris Kross before just now.
With all due respect to Michael Palin (I’m a big Python fan) but South Park and Family Guy still exist.
I don’t understand why people who aren’t Irish spell it craic instead of crack.
i'm sure you can understand
I mean he wanted his own Vice President dead so it’s no surprise he’d want Biden’s dead, too.
OK 🆗👌🏼
Freeze peach! ❄️🍑
I’m surprised the BBC doesn’t do anything like this.
(An hour and a half late) Blundell Park? More like BLUNDER PARK, amirite?
Cheap burgers are better than cheap steaks, but expensive burgers are always a disappointment.
What about Budgie? 🦜
Had to get this one out of my head
I am so mad that Google uses a brown symbol for yellow cards, and it’s even a shade that isn’t too dissimilar to the red they use to for red cards.
Sometimes I wonder how people’s ancestors got their surname, and other times I see someone and think if their ancestors were anything like them then it’s pretty self explanatory.
🏴
If I were a Stormtrooper
I love that his starting word is Force.
Good news bad news
“Say the line, Baz!”
Fulham vs Man Utd, the “tunnel at the corner of the pitch” derby.
The scorer of the first goal at Everton’s new stadium
Don’t arrive to a game late and don’t leave early or you might not see any goals!
“Oh no that says, er, ‘Dominic Trunip’!”
Better than man-made climate change, though.
No, the most annoying thing is man-made climate change.
Looks, Smithers! Garbo!
You can pull a ney on a horse 🐴
It doesn’t work because an upper case N-Turn is like a double U turn.
Hype Williams video.
Well yes but more specifically 🚽 (No jokes about Bolton being a toilet!)
You’ll never guess where I was when I saw this post lol
A year after fighting a 58 year old man, Jake Paul is now fighting someone 7 inches shorter and 65lbs lighter; and I just hope they pull a last minute switcheroo on fight night and substitute his opponent with someone 7 inches taller and 65lbs heavier.
Ahh, well they’re only 28 years too late!
Hearing reports of the FBI raiding Bolton’s home but I’m there and I’ve not seen any feds. 🤷🏻♂️
Ezra Who?
Also a bit daft including actors and male football player because there’s going to have massive variation in pay. They’re not all Hollywood/Premier League superstars.
Now they’re definitely overpaid.
Who are the 3% of people saying Care Workers are overpaid? 🤦🏻♂️
(Clue: It wasn’t for arm hair removal)
They had some Liverpool related computer game stuff at the Liverpool Museum.
Guess where I’ve been. 🎶
So much for all that “Scouse not English” crack! 🏴🤭
Why not both?
Pips! Why was Medium way easier than Easy? 🤷🏻♂️ And Hard took me a while because when I first logged on some of the dominos were missing! It’s brand new so I assumed it was a game mechanic. Had to restart the app before they appeared. Pips #2 Easy 🟢 0:59 Pips #2 Medium 🟡 0:16 🍪 Pips #2 Hard 🔴 3:57
Sounds like a cunning plan.
It’s a shame that Americans don’t use the word prat as an insult.
Also at first glance I thought that person’s profile pic was a certain football club’s crest…
It’s a new name for the US news channel MSNBC but when I first saw this post I assumed it was a new Microsoft app, like a modern day MS Bob.
(This was moments before Holden was out from an amazing catch)
The batter’s Holden, the bowler’s Tongue. 💯🏏
You keep hearing people demand that James Bond should be a man but never hear anyone demand he shouldn’t be. Where is it coming from? I remember when they said 007 was gonna be a woman in NTTD, Piers Morgan was gammon-baited into biting when it was just the number being given to another character.
New NYT game! Pips #1 Hard 🔴 1:35
I always think of the lines “Why would Scott Tenorman sell me his pubes for ten dollars?” “Because r*tard, you’re dumb enough to buy Scott Tenorman’s pubes for ten dollars!”
The same chumps who bought into those monkey pictures.
God, don’t remind us!
Why yes, as a man of culture I have seen all of those films. The one where Woody was jealous of Buzz, the one where Woody was going to be sold to a Japanese museum, the one where they had to escape from a nursery school, and the less good fourth one. Oh wait… *Tolstoy*?? Sorry, I misunderstood.
If you see this post a robot. 🤖
Ah yes the right-wing archetype: Fit, strong, loyal to his one woman in marriage; just like President Donald John Tru… oh… wait.
The USA loses a sport it invented.
My car doesn’t have a CD player but the last car I had that did had that CD in it!
Instead of the Nazis just jumping into a river they get properly run over.
Sweating in the heat and this photo I took one November came up on my phone. Not long before we’re back to this. 🥵
“If your A level results are disappointing, don't worry. I got a C and two Us and here I am today, killing badgers and letting my cattle get tuberculosis.”
I just assume that any cow that has the agency to drive and enter a motor racing tournament against plumbers, princesses, turtles etc just chose the piercing for herself.
