Operation: โDISTRACT FROM THE EPSTEIN FILESโ has commenced!
I love to laugh long and loud. Parody news account
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Operation: โDISTRACT FROM THE EPSTEIN FILESโ has commenced!
๐คฃThese are not serious people ๐คก๐
BREAKING: The White House releases an official Caturday message from President Trump. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Crayon eating dumbass ๐๏ธ๐๐คฃ
BREAKING: Eric Trump releases new coloring book.๐
๐๐คฃ๐ท
Hum along if you want โjust dessertsโ.
BREAKING: Congressman Mike Rogers flips his wig at White House House press conference.
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BREAKING: Congressman Mike Rogers flips his wig at White House House press conference.
@mattgaetz4head.bsky.social and @spookyforcefrancis.bsky.social Iโm not joking when I say I thought one of yโall made this ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
I appreciate it, Zoebeth๐ I love Mattโs work too. No, the only Rudy based work Iโve done lately is to commemorate the upcoming 5 year anniversary of when he upperdeckered his brain at that news conference.
๐๐๐๐คฃ
Later today:
BREAKING: White House denies they were throwing vultures out of second story window.
BREAKING: White House releases video of Trump on the golf course to dispel rumors heโs dead.
EXCLUSIVE: All new episode of WHEREโS PEDO?
Few people know this but in Orwellโs original rough draft of the novel, 1984, he referred to the totalitarian leader as โDaddyโ but later felt that it made them sound like a society of closeted incels so he changed the name to Big Brother.
๐๐๐คฃโ ๏ธ
EXCLUSIVE: All new episode of WHEREโS PEDO?
๐๐๐คฃโ ๏ธ
The National Guardners
BREAKING: White House releases video of Trump on the golf course to dispel rumors heโs dead.
BREAKING: Doctors reveal Trumps lab results.
Pro-tip for anyone saying they want to get into Heaven: donโt make everyone elseโs lives Hell. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Stranger Danger Publishing releases new childrenโs book.
Putting two crackers on the logo should make MAGa feel twice as good.๐ฅฐ
Oh man. Embarrassing for Dean Cain. ICE posting his training session like itโs some kind of โMan of Steelโ flex. Although it tracks with the incompetent, undertrained ICE agents weโre seeing on the streets.
Animation by Francis Wegner on X๐คฃ
Thank you, Leia๐๐
BREAKING: MAGA outrage peaks after Cracker Barrel CEO says the little man on logo was always โwokeโ, revealing that heโd been caught secretly putting TRANS fats in customers food and spiking their drinks with gender fluids for decades.
Imagine what a privileged and easy life one must live that they spend it being upset about something as trivial as Cracker Barrel changing its logo.
Well, you know the streets of DC are truly dangerous if they're letting the president go out at night for a photo op.
Newsom: We canโt do things the way weโve done. Letโs disabuse ourselves of that. The Democratic Party needs to assert itself. We need to be strong again. Strength matters. People want conviction. They want character. They want a sense of intention and purposeโฆ
Check this shit! Earlier today, ICE tried to break into private property in Lynwood, California โ no judicial warrant, no authority. Acting like thugs, not federal agents. Spoiler alert: Lynwood does not play. This trio of goons got sent packing.
WWE you say? ๐ Where do you think he learned this BS? That was my whole point. But sure, both parties are the same.๐ซ
Art of the deal.
How do you invest in Hookers and cocaine on the stock market?
BREAKING: White House announces President Trumpโs new OnlyFans account to cater to maga incels demanding more explicit neck-gina content.
Whatโs your favorite stage performance?
Gavin bringing it. โ๐ฅ
Thereโs more inflation now than when he ran for office incessantly bitching about it.
@moderation.bsky.app can you tell me what I would have to change for this video not to be censored?
Ridickulous๐
IKR
This video I posted depicting a clothed Ivanka smoking in bed with Gavin Newsom titled โ Whoโs your daddyโwas censored by Bluesky as adult content? Really? WTF?
What is a Christian?
BREAKING: White House announces President Trumpโs new OnlyFans account to cater to maga incels demanding more explicit neck-gina content.
Itโs Wednesday, whoโs hungry?
How many sub sandwiches can Superman eat?
Whoโs your daddy? #GavinNewsom
๐๐โ ๏ธ
Arizona does not properly fund its public schools, but 1.2 million ESA requests of $2000 were approved without oversight. While teachers buy school supplies, ESA parents buy diamond rings, electric bikes, luxury handbags, and amusement park tickets.
Ice agent Dean Cain wouldnโt mind someone throwing a few sandwiches at him. In fact he dares you to.
Trump is saying slavery wasnโt that bad to distract from being in the Epstein files. Donโt fall for it!
I think Gavinโs got Melaniaโs vote.
BREAKING: Vance demands Ukraine thank Russia for invading them in continuing negotiations.
BREAKING: Ted Cruz is still a POS
'Needs Putin's approval': Trump needled on CNN for post-Ukraine meeting call with Russia
๐ต Send in the Clowns ๐ต
๐ต Send in the Clowns ๐ต
Weโre not distracted and itโs not going away.
If youโre under any illusions about what an authoritarian personality cult the GOP has become, theyโre not hiding it:
Republicans are always fear mongering about socialism and communism. Meanwhile all our tax dollars are going towards ICE, billionaires and greedy corporations. All while gutting institutions (that protect our health) and social safety nets. WTF do you call that?
๐ต Push it good ๐ต
๐๐๐
And my next door neighbor lives 24,901 miles away.
โDid Zelenskyy even say thank you?โ
Can you imagine the uproar from the right had a Dem President instructed the military to literally roll out a red carpet for the Russian President?
BREAKING: Dunning Kruger candidates and flat earthers unite to expose deep state conspiracy.
The Art of the Deal on full display.
Assault with a breadly weapon
Oh this one ๐
Imagining a convo between brothers Randy and Dennis Quaid.
BREAKING: Trump reveals the art of the deal is being a total pushover.
BREAKING: Trump reveals the art of the deal is being a total pushover.
BREAKING: Putin reveals Trump to be the bald faced liar we always knew he was. ๐ โฌ๏ธ
Who let the dog out? ๐
All these years we mistakenly heard Putin had a โpeeโ tape on trump when itโs actually a โpโ for pedo tape. #TrumpEpsteinFiles
๐๐๐๐
PSA #3 Ted Cruz is shit ๐ฉ ๐
PSA #2: Ted Cruz is a Snowflake โ๏ธ ๐
PSA #1 : Ted Cruz is garbage.
BREAKING: Putin names his new horsey โEpsteinโ while vacationing in Russia (formerly known as Alaska).
๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐
Keep asking, America! (sound up)
BREAKING: DC Attorney Jeanine Pirro says man caught on camera throwing subway sandwich at federal officer will be charged as assault with a breadly weapon.
The real reason JFK got assassinated.
Hahahahaha. No.
The lab results from your medical exam are back and youโve tested positive for being in a cult.
Adaptation is the key to survival.
Itโs Wednesday and your daily reminder that republicans are the reason why we canโt have nice things.
www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-...
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell may be eligible for work release program to apply her skills as a groomer for pedophiles outside the federal prison camp in Bryan, Texas, where she is being held.
