The Edeka wir lieben lebensmittel one. I always take it out along with my French supermarket bags, on account of my being so sophisticated.
Hedge dweller. Permanently covered in mud and cobwebs. Part human, part earth elemental. Translator. Glassmaker. Folk art purveyor. Folk horror enthusiast. SF & Fantasy lover. Make-do-and-mendophile. Gardener. Sasquatch stan. Lagomorph ally. She/her AuDHD
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The Edeka wir lieben lebensmittel one. I always take it out along with my French supermarket bags, on account of my being so sophisticated.
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Ooh! Lovely! We went to the supermarket today with the big German shopping bag you gave us. There were approving looks from the two separate German families we walked past. We're so cosmopolitan, goddammit.
Oh fucking hell no! The sounds of my childhood. My parents were OBSESSED with this pair. God almighty. Still know all the cowing words to The Blacksmith. Jesus.
No. I hear you, and I'm sorry.
Too right it is. These people are becoming more and more emboldened. I did my very small part in saying what I thought but christ, I'm frightened. Not for me, I just look like any other Karen. That's why Karens like me have a responsibility to speak out against these cunts. If that makes sense.
🎵🎵🎵 Na na na night cheeses night cheeses 🎵🎵🎵 New ear worm. Great.
JFC. Saw a MAGA hat out in the wild today. In the middle of fucking Cornwall, FGS.
See, I know that's not true, cos I've seen the photos. You're talking, and I do not use this term lightly, absolute piffle. Love you, Vee. All of you in your wonderfully stylish, gorgeous baking genius glory.
I have hair envy, you have such lovely hair!
Hello, it me.
Those are beautiful! You're such a style icon, you know?
Solid justifications. I heartily endorse this approach.
That shoulda been practical-yet-elegant, darn it. Still my comment stands. I likes them shoes and trews.
Ooh, I do enjoy a stylish-yet-elegant slack, glamorous-yet-comfy shoe combo
NOTHING will prepare you for this 45-second story arc. From "I'm just doing this because I love the flag, it's totally grassroots, and I'm not part of anything political"... to who actually gave him the flags the night before. Anyone who believes it is an innocent movement needs to see this.
Knowing what you're dealing with will hopefully make things easier to manage. I don't have fibro but I do know it sucks hairy balls. Hope you can find effective ways to manage the stress and anxiety, petal. Look after yourself.
Absolutely, of course. I will go and check.
Oh, that's good news at least. Look after yourselves. It's not easy herding geriatrics.
I'm sorry. Can relate and sympathise fully. Hope you’re not dealing with it on your own.
Oh no! You too! I'm sorry. They *are* the devil's work, they really are.
Thank you, I'm really glad I'm not alone in this but i'm sorry you suffer with 'The Fear' too.
Ah, that's very kind, thank you, and yes, I agree. Text or email are much easier forms of communication. You also have a record of what's been said, should anyone dispute your version of events.
Ugh, I hate them. And waiting for the inevitable 'Can you give me a ring when you get this?'. No. Get bent.
Ahahaha! Oh Steve. Good save though, phew!
Which is weird anyway, because I don't ever say 'love you' on the phone. Or indeed very often in real life.
Oh god. I cannot listen to them. I have to get ACH to listen to them while I'm out the room, and then have him tell me what they said.
It's horrible, isn't it? It's something your rational mind knows will be ok and is straightforward but you'll still flap. That said, I did end a call to some NHS person or other with 'Love you' the other day. I mean I *do* love NHS staff but it may have been a bit full-on for a first interaction.
I get it. I can recommend an ACH for such occasions. I hate that you can't just bloody text or WhatsApp these folks, and then when you do, they frigging well try to ring you. Absolute monsters. People who prefer a call over an e-mail? WRONG 'UNS.
Quavers taste more of cheese but Wotsits are nicer
Not sure what it is about my LI profile that suggests I'm in the market for 'Acoustical Control, Non-Structural Seismic Protection and Vibration Isolation'. I don't have any projects currently 'where noise could be a concern'. Shall I reply 'I done a noise from my bum lol' and see what he says?
Yeah, I was stupid, felt sorry for her. She's turned out exactly how you'd expect.
PMSL. I KNOW! I'm still raging that I sat up and wrote her bloody dissertation for her and missed perfectly good night out at Yr Undeb 30 years ago! It's a terrible injustice.
I saw, I saw ! :)
Oh no, don't cry! Remember that person we have in common from uni? The one who doesn't pay people for 300-mile lifts down the Mway? She got pissy about having to use communal lavvies on her holiday in France the other day. Cos, 'think of the children', apparently! What a knob!
I am going to do my best to make you proud. I am proud of you too for managing the 'worst thing' and staying in one piece. You are important, and a wonderful human.
I'm so sorry. I'm glad you are in a better place and the anxiety has gone but I don't like that it's been replaced with sadness. Can I help in any way? You know where I am if you need a pal. x
I love you, I love your typos and you are so right. Waiting for a call is agonizing. I'm particularly worried about this potential call because I have to convince someone I can do the job and I can but, then I think, no, no I can't, I'm rubbish.
I bet it was helpful tho. I'm pathetic. I've self-sabotaged all my life so it might actually turn out to be helpful cos, you never know - it could be the one thing that makes me pull myself together and become a millionaire, and I will, of course share my wealth with you, cos you shared that one gem
ahahaha! You are great!
I've just remembered I'm about to send my CV to someone who's asked me to, and they may well ring me. Answering the phone is worse than initiating a call. Hopefully they'll think I'm shit and not worth the effort.
I totally get what you mean. The stupidest thing of all is I'm not as bad on the phone to strangers phoning to arrange something or other because I write a 'script' beforehand. The worst for me is speaking to people I know on the phone because it's unpredictable and I never know what to say.
Thanks, Jason. Love this for us.
Thank you, petal. No more phone for me for the foreseeable.
Oh! I'm sorry to hear that. It really is awful and people who don't 'get' it, really don't get it. I hope you've got some strategies to help you. I have none myself, it very much depends on the day whether I can manage it or not. I prescribe treats for both of us!
I've made several important phone calls today. If you know me, you know about my phobia of speaking on the phone. Please congratulate me for being brave, or I will cry.
Oof, poor bean. They can really knock you sideways. Look after yourself, petal. Hope you can have a quiet day today, even if you're working.
I know it'll depend on your triggers. Do you ever find electrolytes work for you? They've often helped me a bit to stave off an attack if taken with enough notice. I hope you have something that softens the edges a bit. Migraines suck. Will you be able to get home OK?
Those are the best kinds, I reckon.
He loves helping, he won't stop grinning cos he managed to fix it, so everyone's a winner!
Ah, that's lovely of you, and we're also lucky to have you as a pal, so *group hug*, cos you don't know how important it is to have friends checking in regularly when you don't go out to work and all your interactions are through a computer/phone screen. We're a pair of Billies
Ooh, that's cool. I thought it was gonna be weird and I'd have to find a way to say 'that's lovely, dear' without sounding insincere, but I like it. That's lovely, dear.
I know, he's good'un. I'm glad you're pals and he can do remote boiler tech support for you, among other stuff.
Haha. Honestly. Once you've asked him to fix something, he won't give up. To the point he actually starts getting on your tits and you just want to bin the broken thing and get a new one, cos he will not give in. Love him really, ofc.
He's got this annoying habit of literally just looking at stuff and it suddenly starts working again. I don't know how he bloody does it!
Thanks! We feel a bit dizzy. Might treat myself to a pie!
Yeah, I've got pals leaving the industry in droves. Years of study, thousands on degrees, and everything has gone *bang*. We're not alone though, I know.
...or was sick of my shit
It's a great suggestion, but not these days, unfortunately. It's much easier to outsource to large agencies, AI is really driving down rates. It's all going tits up for translators generally. We had a promising message from a colleague though, after my massive whinge, so the universe took pity...
The thing is, I know I have tons of transferable skills and in an ideal world I'd do a career pivot. The feeling of imposter syndrome is strong though. And honestly, I probably couldn't even crimp pasties properly because I'm so bloody clumsy. Cat herding, may be the only answer?
Translation rates are being driven down to levels that don't even reflect minimum wage. It’s an exploitative undercutting of a highly skilled service. I might as well just do something that's no stress and gives me free pies. Also means mother would have to fend for herself if I took a f-t job.
Oh, you know, always a 'glass half full' kind of person, me. SERIOUSLY THO'. WHAT AN ABSOLUTE BELLEND.
Jesus Christ. And I thought things couldn't get any worse.
Turns out I can earn more an hour as a Pasty Crimper in Bodmin (no experience: £12.50/hr), than I can as a translator (20 yrs' experience: £4.60/hr). Pasty Crimpers also get free pasties and bonus weekly fruit. I'm honestly considering it because, fuck me, it feels like we're on a sinking ship atm.
That was my mother!
The other makes his living eating soapy teabags. Both equally honourable professions. It's a race to see who'll bag the BBC Christmas Lecture first.
The shame of it. Blimey
OMG, that is hilarious!
Probably not the best hobby, but he does sound like a very useful chap to know, tbf
He sounds brilliant
He's a keeper. He'd get on with ACH, who once tried to burn his school down. Unfortunately, he was unsuccessful.
Ahaha! Busted!
I didn't know him in his 'soapy teabag' era, tbf
Er
Apparently, yes. He once ate a tea bag covered in washing up liquid for a 10p bet. I'm not sure whether the fact that out of all my boyfriends, ACH is the best out of them says more about me or him.
That's a far more sensible name, tbqh.
Jacinta Tuppence Egremont Minty Jonty I would happily smack the lot of them square in the chops
I need to point out I'm far too much of an inverted snob to be with a posh boy. He's just 'posh adjacent'. Not too posh to eat a Fray Bentos pie out of the bin, are you, ACH?
You haven't interacted with any teenagers since the 80s, have you?
Fuck Linehan and fuck any news outlets framing his hate as "activism" or "just saying" or "debating". Trans women are women, trans men are men, trans rights are human rights.
“Got treated like a terrorist lads” “Tell us what happened lad” “Got accused of encouraging violence on Twitter” “Yea but why” “I was encouraging violence” “On Twitter?” “Yeah it was on Twitter”
That's really cool. I will keep an eye out. I did a few short courses at a forge over in Somerset. I really enjoyed it. I'd love to see what you make.
Wait, is this for metal work? I would like to see more when you have your set up. This sounds very exciting.
Sounds great. You have the best ideas, you know!
I mean, it's an idea. Does it have legs? I'm not sure...
Anyway, more importantly, I hope you are having a lovely holiday.
Oh, absolutely agree with that. I'm having to write twatty posts like a big twat for engagement and I hate every minute of it. And of course, everyone wants your LinkedIn creds when you're looking for new business, so I have to carefully curate what I write about and it's dull and so pointless. Gah!
If you can manage without it, honestly, avoid it.
Sorry, times are tough, I'll treat you to a whole one of your own soon. Love, Bob Cratchit
Oh, everything is fucking terrible. Of course, it could be worse, and at least we're all heading for oblivion soon, so won't have to put up with it for much longer. Still, I earned £2.50 yesterday so we can share a chocolate Freddo, if you like? I am very much full of joy and positivity today.
The best suggestion I've seen all day, tbqh.
The only reason that Wesley Streeting, the health secretary, would have for speaking out about freedom of speech and excessive policing in the case of Graham Linehan and not the hundreds of people arrested for supporting Palestine Action, is that he supports Linehan and violence against trans people
I HATE IT SO MUCH. Honestly, I just wonder if everyone on there is thinking the same thing. They must be. I hate that I have to use it. It serves me right - I deleted my account a while back because LinkedIn makes me so indescribably stabby.
Losing work means I've been forced to go back on LinkedIn. I fucking hate LinkedIn to the very core of my being. I am now a LinkedIn Wanker full of even more self-loathing than I ever thought possible. I've also had to scrub the dates off all my quals on account of being a really old bastard.
These entrepreneurs who're all like 'losing my job was the best thing to ever happen to me. I sold my wife and kids to fund *my terrible idea* and now I'm richer than you could possibly imagine, you bunch of sad povvos'. Anyway, I've got this idea, it's called the ArmsUnder™. Anyone want in?
I love a bit of Murat content
Ooh Mario Lego looks like fun, what have you got? I got the small plants set of little cacti. It's very cute. I'm saving up for the Blacksmith forge but I am poor and need to wait about 700 years before I can afford it. Tragic really.
Ah, that's so kind. Thank you! I got LEGO, so it was a good day.
Ah, that's amazing news! So pleased to hear this.
I sometimes see posts from people saying they're not sure about "trans issues", or don't want to express an opinion because they don't know enough about it. This short 🧵 is intended to help and encourage those people who are sitting on the fence, perhaps afraid of saying the wrong thing. 1/