Fair. Should’ve said “very few” rather than no-one. I’ll say “no one in Wales”, because the dragon is too hard to paint. ~runs away~
Holding out hope for a Muppet Movie starring Nicolas Cage.
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Fair. Should’ve said “very few” rather than no-one. I’ll say “no one in Wales”, because the dragon is too hard to paint. ~runs away~
At a guess, I’d say the answer is tied up in the fact that no one has been stupid enough to paint a St Andrews cross on a roundabout.
The worst* thing about Starmer’s dismal performance as PM is that it forces people like me who consider themselves “sensible left” to have to admit that what I thought was hyperbole by excitable people to the left of me was, in fact, bang on the money. Fucks sake Kier. * - shush
You can fuck voting for Your Party sky high.
HP Lovecraft - amazing imagination hindered by clumsy writing. Massive racist. Beatrix Potter - amazing imagination hindered by clumsy writing. Massive racist. What I’m saying is, I’d love to see a crossover story.
Wishing Alexander Isak the same success in his career that the last striker who went from Newcastle to Liverpool for a British record fee enjoyed.
“Right, that’s it! If you kids don’t start behaving yourselves THIS MINUTE, then your mother and I will talk openly and honestly about our sex lives. I mean it…”
In less than 25 years, Giuliani has gone from the mayor who spoke for America, to the kind of laughingstock whose near death experience is a setup line on social media. What a stupid prick. Whenever I get sad about the bad choices I’ve made in life, imma think about Rudy and smile.
My sleep recording app informs me that I farted for 15 seconds last night.
I had to remind myself of who Carswell was; the first rat to desert the sinking Tory ship for Team Farage. What, and let me be quite clear about this, a bellend he is.
Sheer bias makes me insist it’s the latter.
Van Morrison has always struck me as a wildly overrated tit of a man…
Tbf, she might as well pledge to extract all of the green cheese from the moon too. It’s not like she’s ever going to get the chance to implement any of the increasingly mad shit she’s saying to try and keep herself within spitting distance of relevance.
We found a way to beat a system that wasn't designed for us. If I was The Telegraph, I'd be telling this community to take notes
He’s just so damned *twinkly* and charming…
I can, to the extent I’ve watched the entire series of Castle. Twice.
I was working in a pub in Newcastle that day, and let me tell you: any sadness at her death was quickly superseded by utter fury that the Toon v Liverpool game had been cancelled as a result…
So: same time next week to collectively wish him dead?
I’ll try. Thanks.
This all puts me in mind of the good old days, speculating about whether Andropov and Chernenko were dead or not…
I do, and I’m not there yet. I can’t help but wish evil on evil people.
Things are pretty bleak right now. Get what joy you can from wherever you can get it.
God dammit, can you not let us enjoy the rumours of the nice thing…
You’ll know it’s happening for real when they move a sexier couch into the Oval Office.
I’m hearing reports that Paddington has been seen entering The White House…
I fell out with a very good friend because he decided “you’ve become all twisted with hatred & now you’re actively wishing Trump dead; that makes you an extremist”. He’ll be absolutely hating all this. I hope the twat is on Bluesky, angrily declaring he’s morally superior cos he likes Trump…
If Bluesky has a collective mood, today it is the “Die! Die! Die!” refrain off of Creeping Death by Metallica.
Sir Terry Pratchett coined the word “charisn’tma” which I feel is quite apt here.
What I’m enjoying most about Bluesky rn is watching the entire user base, myself included, trying to manifest Trump’s death.
Oh, we had plenty of practice at that towards the end of Queen Elizabeth’s reign…
If he has the same fanatical support that Trump gets, absolutely. I’m far from convinced the maga lot will take to him. He lacks Trump’s (for want of a better word) charisma.
"Even the president's critics accepted that his State of the Union address, in which he stood motionless for an hour making a low wheezing noise as putrefaction gasses escaped through his mouth, was more coherent than last year's."
Starr, ffs. Stupid wine…
I do like how the hints we get about Statt’s upbringing indicate that it wasn’t a million miles away in tone from that of Jesse too.
I remember reading a description of the rogueish types who are second tier to the main character in westerns: they know there’s no redemption for them, and that’s what redeems them. Cassidy to a T.
RFK Jr. taps his top deputy, Jim O’Neill, to be the new CDC director. Both men appear to wear skinny ties from Otaa. Otaa's ties are made in China from microfiber, a kind of plastic that, under the right conditions, can migrate to your balls.
Happy 44th birthday to Gaze into the Fist of Dredd, Brian Bolland’s finest hour.
Petrol stations should not be allowed to display any branding. Instead, like tobacco, they should be plastered in massive grim pictorial health warnings, and only show their company name in a small nondescript font underneath.
They’re only fascists if they originate in the Fasc region. Otherwise, they’re just sparkling c*nts.
Wishing everyone a good night, and my sincere hope that all of your enemies die whilst you’re sleeping.
When the Beano starts taking pops at you then it's probably time to question your amazing comms and policy strategy.
If I were to say “Irrelevant former prime minister said/did an irrelevant thing today”, chances are most of you will know exactly who I’m talking about. That being the case, I don’t think anyone needs to spend any time whatsoever reporting on or reading about them, do they?
My contribution to the discourse is that Cracker Barrel does perfectly adequate food at affordable prices, and the attached gift shops provide a great distraction for kids. I couldn’t give a single fuck about their logo.
Him and Potter should do a job swap…
I love, *love* that they had first team players out there. I don’t even hate Man Utd any more, but I cheered every Grimsby penalty. Even my football-loathing wife had a bit of a chuckle.
He’s been nobbled by Big Antiquity…
So: Amorim to West Ham?
What I like most about this picture is the way it captures the solemnity and dignity that is an integral part of my character.
First Cilla, now Purple Aki. Dark times for the scouse people.
I hope his passing helps heal the recent rift between Liverpool and Newcastle…
'Taylor Swift announces engagement to Travis'
Here’s something what I wrote a while back. If you’re interested in hiring me as a writer, I’m here www.mathew-owen.co.uk
Absolutely. Now do trans rights please.
I've got 22 episodes of Magnum PI to watch. I've watched 7 of them. Having trouble calculating what proportion I've watched.
…what on earth are you talking about? I’ve very plainly stated how much I loathe his policies and lament Starmer’s decision to ape those policies. You are a very peculiar person. I think I’m done here.
I don’t hate him. I just think he’s terrible at his job.
Fanatic Starmer-stans are…something. Why die on such a beige hill?
Someone should bring this fantastic example of wordplay to the attention of Andy Zaltzman. I’d love to hear his views as to whether this counts as a pun or not. @thebugle.bsky.social does this count as an Ask Andy?
“Pfft, Farage wouldn’t be able to deport nearly as many people as we will. And, right, we’re going to be much more efficient at deporting browns and sundry foreigns!” I’m not convinced tbh.
To be fair, I should’ve made clear it’s his lack of criticism of the tone that’s so awful. If someone suggests an inhumane plan that will 100% result in deaths, I don’t want the response of government to begin and end with “Won’t work, and in any case we’re *much* better at deporting people”.
We just need to take a few more rights from trans people and BOOM: energy bills will plummet.
Nothing about the tone, or the monstrousness of what Farage is saying, just “it’s impractical”. That’s ok is it?
I have accidentally adopted a bull. Or perhaps he adopted me. My property has a bit of land and one day a random bull turned up on there. I asked all the local farmers and nobody was missing a bull. Guess he's mine now. I named him Kevin, after the Home Alone kid.
Yes, but those who *are* bothered are taking note of the fact that Starmer isn’t saying a word to oppose what Farage wants to do.
If I were Labour Prime Minister, I would simply criticise the bloke pushing mass deportations.
No new pictures, where are you mentally?
“You played the race card” “That’s because you played the racist card”
if you haven’t seen Whoops Apocalypse, it’s worth hunting out. Thoroughly good fun. There’s a series of the same name which is an interesting curio too
America is essentially living out the 80s movie Whoops Apocalypse right now. At least if Peter Cook was playing Donald Trump, we’d be guaranteed a few laughs.
His brain has been eaten by JKR’s castle mould…
I thought Starmer was going to be the Human Rights PM?
It’s always said by people who’ve manifestly never been in a fight too.
The cat shelter I volunteer at every week is on the brink of having to close down. The cats need operations, medicine and even food that the shelter currently can't afford. I know times are hard but if you can spare anything it will make a huge difference. Thanks: www.paypal.com/paypalme/don...
“Progressive authoritarian” = “They won’t let me be racist”
Oh, fuck you…
Is that the same Kemi who spent her entire career saying identity politics is all lies and that there’s no such thing as racism?
Isn’t it about time we talked about the fire risks of uncontrolled phlogiston?
So where are the riots? Presumably they’re in the same place as Labour’s plan to appease bigots by being bigoted: in the land of wishful thinking and fantasy. (2/2)
Where’s all the UK riots? I’ve been promised riots this summer by every right wing talking head, every anti immigrant scrotal wart, every flagshagger and every page of every day’s Mail, Telegraph, and Sun. I was assured the country was at boiling point due to too many brown people. 1/2
I’ve just noticed @smoothdunk2.bsky.social doesn’t sign their stuff. Hey everybody, this cartoon is by @smoothdunk2.bsky.social and you should follow them.
This has genuinely made me laugh out loud. It’s just…there is a LOT to unpack here.
@thelouvreof.bsky.social
“But I won the argument!!”
Point of order: I felt sympathy for D’onofrio’s character in that scene, whereas watching Cain made me laugh so hard that I farted.
A landlord turned off Tenant Client's family's heat upon learning Client was an immigrant. Landlord hired three different law firms to argue this was legal, then fired each one after they couldn't get our case dismissed. This week, landlord settled for enough that Client will buy a house.
I’d feel sorry for her if she wasn’t an objectively awful person.
Don’t even ask; just drop a couple of hints and we’re there…
I resent Trump for making me give a shit about wankers like Bolton.
I swear I used to be able to wake up early at the weekend and be like “oop I don’t need to be awake” and go back to sleep for a bit now it’s like “oh we’re awake, that’s it then, the day has started motherfucker” is this what getting old is
…I mean, it’s not looking brilliant for West Ham is it? Only two games in and so forth, but they’ve been proper shit.
Oh my poor darling…
For some reason, that’s set off “Like a Sturgeon” to the tune of “Like a Virgin” in my head. Stupid brain…
…Lord Austin of Dudley is going?
Right Winger Vision
Aka: Doing a Rod Liddle.
It kind of feels like the public are being asset-stripped…
What about that Engels, eh? A worse man than Dr Mengele Hmm…needs work.