Speaks for itself if you think for yourself.
Account that points out history abuse. Cogito ergo bibamus. Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it - G. Santayana
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Speaks for itself if you think for yourself.
Guys, this isn't funny. That's his table-bussing arm. Now Sorbo's gonna snag all the good brunch shifts.
Ok but hear me out, what if we taxed the fuck out of really rich people
the good folks at Books and Publishing asked me why I think books are essential and important.
I blame office holiday parties. 👀😂
#NotADragQueen
Brilliant
Gav is 🔥🔥🔥
It is worth noting that the Trump mob knows that what they’re doing is wrong and illegal which is why they keep trying to do it faster than a judge can tell them to stop
This is where Parker became Spider-Man
Where are the walls of this theatre?
So true
Turnabout is fair play
How i captain a starship
Unlike Redville Zoo, our employees aren't working off court mandated community service hours.
Unlike Redville Zoo, our employees aren't forced to wear ankle monitors.
Old Soviet joke for today: A man walks into a newsstand every day, looks around, and leaves. After a long time of this, the owner says “Can I help you find something?” “I’m looking for the obituaries.” “The obituaries are in the back of the newspaper, comrade.” “Not the one I’m looking for.”
I’ve misread “cli fi” as “clit fi” twice today. And now I’m ready for this new genre.
I’m just practicing the lyrics to “yub nub” in case it turns out to be true
When it happens, it’s going to be like this on the socials:
My reporting uncovered the existence of DoJ training videos instructing FBI personnel on how to flag Trump’s name in the Epstein files. I’m suing to get the videos under FOIA. substack.com/@muellershew...
CHICAGO…
Live your life in such a way that people don't anxiously await your demise. Looking at you, Donnie
Well, I’m already stocked up on the good stuff. 🍾
He hasn’t been seen in public in three days
The damage this man has done is incalculable.
🎯
Did Brexit cause the small boats? Are any countries managing immigration well? How do I stay calm when arguing with dickheads? What can we all do to fight back against the hate? Wonderful questions from the @bremaininspain.com community :) - my answers here www.bremaininspain.com/bremainers-a...
Redville Zoo is the only zoo in America where you enter through a clown's mouth.
WHOOPSIE DOODLE
Trump regime operatives exposed in plot to undermine Denmark and overthrow the government in Greenland. Regime operatives attempted to disrupt democracy through misinformation and disruption operations aimed at recruiting traitors and collaborators to help sway public consensus towards the US.
Chicago keeping art alive:
Reminder that the US Trump regime conspired to over throw Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, a direct attack on democracy in Ukraine and worldwide.
PPV Stoning is the most popular and most painful and from what I've heard the best ratings of all time. He'd appreciate that doncha think...but what do I know 🙆🏽♀️🙂
If our children being killed doesn’t galvanize elected officials to take extraordinary action then I’m not sure what else ever will. Thank you for your leadership
True
Between RFK decimating the CDC, normalizing Ashli Babbitt & the umpteenth school shooting... I'm losing the will to post. #ReleaseTheEPSTEIN_Files
RFK Jr is driving this country towards an almost certain public health disaster. If Democrats can’t stop it, at the very least they can get it on the record now that they wanted him gone and the GOP wanted him kept in. Underline how they own the disasters to come. It’s Politics 101.
Twitter went from the United Federation of Planets to the Romulan Empire
Every time it happens, it’s someone’s here. Today it happened here.
Lynx coach Cheryl Reeve on the Minnesota shooting: "The sad thing is we can't sit here and tell them that help is on the way. Because we're not going to do a damn thing about it."
You think we weren’t prepared for the last pandemic ….
It shouldn't be up to American children to save each other from getting shot. It's the job of American adults to stop shootings from happening in the first place. Ban assault weapons again now.
Republicans keep telling us not to "politicize" these shootings, but that's only because they understand that these shootings were entirely motivated by the political arguments they themselves have been making and entirely facilitated by the political campaign against gun control that they have led.
He's gonna make kids go to work camps because he can atmospherically deduce chakra misalignment.
Average life expectancy in the US is going to take a shocking downturn in the next couple of years
The prequel to Mad Max is called Slightly Annoyed Max
The presidential candidate who runs on the slogan "THERE WILL BE TRIALS!" has my vote.
This is Manchis. She's the dog of Alberto Mesías Zárate, a journalist in Peru. When her human was targeted this week by criminals who threw an explosive device at their home, she barked at the perpetrators and successfully extinguished the dynamite before it detonated. 14/10 good girl, Manchis
Two children were killed and seventeen people were injured in a shooting at Annunciation Catholic School. A Cracker Barrel logo change received far more scrutiny and attention than any fight against the epidemic of gun violence in this country. Our priorities remain idiotic.
Thirteen years since Sandy Hook and, no offense, but if thoughts and prayers were gonna do anything, they'd've done it by now.
The basket of deplorables is now a barrel of crackers.
A lot of people are saying that Redville Zoo is the only zoo in America where you enter the cafeteria at your own risk.
Making them wear high-visibility vests over camo is such a good joke you couldn’t write it
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Last thought for the night: I have concluded that Charlie Kirk is in fact a cursed antique ventriloquist dummy that was exorcised from the house where it was tormenting a family and now brings its straw brained thoughts to college campuses
note how Trump on a daily basis is trying to normalize the idea that he's a dictator
St George also the patron saint of Palestine. There is a large statue of him outside the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.
US Trump regime, under the direction of JD Vance attempted to coup d'état President Zelenskyy of Ukraine, after the "you didn't say thank you" White House ambush in March. The US tried to recruit Ukraine's UK ambassador Valerii Zaluzhnyi who told them to get fucked & rejected their calls.
Men are so emotional. Thank god they're not in charge.
Every. Single. ICE agent. Every. Single. DHS agent. At Nuremberg. Every. Single. One.
My heart breaks into 10,000 pieces once again.
They can watch one crosswalk while we paint every other crosswalk.
"Now I will tell you the answer to my question. It is this. The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power, pure power." George Orwell
That politician you want to prop up, is not going to be the answer or resolve the inherent problems the country is undergoing, but anyone you elect that isn't MAGA or the regressive GOP is a step in the correct direction.
Damn you. I just lost The Game
📣 #ZcavengerHunt: 🕵🏽♂️ The final stop opens at 5:30pm! If you arrive early, please enjoy local neighborhood offerings until then 🙂 🕵🏽♂️ Only players with clue cards will be able to access the final stop. We couldn’t have imagined how many New Yorkers would be ready to Zcavenge!
Kid Rock: I will no longer sell my music in California. Scott Baio: I will no longer act in California. Governor Newsom: My policies are working.
Dark. And even darker: It’s called “Fort Bliss” www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...
This cannot be real
This feels like a spot of good news www.sciencedaily.com/releases/202...
Bees
White woman puts Mexican flag on her truck to waste ICE’s time.
Congratulations to Gavin Newsom on winning the Nobel Peace Prize!
On December 14, 2012, a mass shooter murdered 20 children, ages 6 and 7, and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. Four days later, evangelical author James Dobson claimed the mass shooting was God's retribution for abortion and gay marriage. He died today at 89.
"Thus the glory of the monkeys passes"
I was hoping today is Epstein #FileDay, not.. 'Epstein Files, Part 1 of 100'. DOJ is stalling. Reason is clear as day.
If that aint a country song, I dont know what is.
Does ACME have a return policy?
To: All Staff Subject: IMPORTANT REMINDER!!! NEVER lend animals your phone to order items online. Gavin just confiscated another anvil and six rockets from the coyote enclosure.